No, You Are NOT On Her High Score List

[Desdinova]

Ever since I posted my High Score Theory, I've seen a lot of guys declare themselves to be at the top of her list. I felt I needed to make this post to clear a few things up...

- If she's not your first sexual partner, it's unlikely you're at the top of her HSL.
- If she's had more than 4 sexual partners, it's unlikely you're at the top of her HSL.
- You are not at the top of her HSL because you treated her well.
- You are not at the top of her HSL simply because she cried when you broke up with her.
- You are not at the top of her HSL simply because she contacted you months after you broke up.


Just to clarify things, a woman can have only one guy at the top. Some women have another guy who's a close second. Women end up with that guy at the top in the early years of her sex life. Many women find him before they turn 18.

Women who have many sexual partners have lengthy lists that most men aren't going to top. It takes time and her going through a lot of emotional fluctuation to get to the top. Someone who fvcks her on and off for years may have a chance to get to the top. A man who treats her well for years will be surpassed by guys who treat her like 5hit.

Women who lose the guy at the top usually become alpha-widows. Many of these women go all fvcked up and have lots of sex to fill both the emotional and physical void. Other women will resort to abstaining from sex altogether and instead focus on collecting cats.

It's generally not obvious where you stand on a woman's HSL. You may be at the top if you took her virginity. Anything else may be questionable.

I'll give you the example of how I know I sit at the top of my GF's list...

She was with her first BF (and the guy who took her virginity) for about a year. He ended up getting a tattoo of her face on his body, wrote songs about her and then posted them on Youtube. She has a restraining order against him.

Then, I came along and didn't date her. Instead, I number closed another woman in front of her and dated a few others instead of her. I ended up fvcking her and telling her afterwards that I didn't want a relationship. She went and had sex with a couple other guys after that. A year later when I told her I'd give it a shot, she dumped the guy she was seeing for me.

Look at how much emotional fluctuation I put her through. I essentially alpha-widowed her and came back from the dead.

As for how many women's lists I'm topping, I'm guessing there are only three out of the countless ones that I dated. However, I could possibly just be a close second. It's not easy to tell.

So for those of you who keep saying that you're topping her list, take a step back and REALLY look. If she was a virgin before you, then you could very well be at the top. If you're her second or third lover, it's possible as well. If you're her 10th lover, you're just fooling yourself.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Probably one of the best, if not the best theory on this site.

You say that it's more about emotional fluctuation. So wouldn't the guy with the restraining order on him be up on the HST list as well? To be in a relationship with the FIRST guy who banged her and to have that end with a restraining order, isn't that a pretty intense emotional fluctuation over time?

 

[CMNILS87]

Is there any ways or actions she does that will show you that you're at the top? The gal I'm currently dating now I've never seen anything like it. Almost a year casual dating now.
-takes my advice and uses it
-give my opinion of what I like and she does it. She recently cut her hair drastically after I told her I liked that look within a week.
-surprises me with gifts
-Sex whenever I want. Coffe bresk/lunch break/after work quickie
-naughty pics whenever I want

 

[lizardking82]

Is there any ways or actions she does that will show you that you're at the top? The gal I'm currently dating now I've never seen anything like it. Almost a year casual dating now.
-takes my advice and uses it
-give my opinion of what I like and she does it. She recently cut her hair drastically after I told her I liked that look within a week.
-surprises me with gifts
-Sex whenever I want. Coffe bresk/lunch break/after work quickie
-naughty pics whenever I want

This is the exact same things my last girl did.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When a woman has already experienced love at first sight and loses it, her mind calibrates to the experience. Basically, she can possibly experience that emotion again, BUT she will not just be some reactive and oblivious machine. When she was a kid, she was fooled by Disney to believe her emotions 100%. "Love is all that matters. And once you've found it, all will be right with the world." And she bought into that frame and it STILL didn't work out. It's kind of like having the ability to experience one-itis AGAIN but not truly being in a complete trance the second time around because you have learned from the past.

In my opinion, it is possible, but it comes with a level of emotional desensitization and jadedness...unless you are dealing with an oblivious 16 year old girl with no life experience.

Probably can't be "hypnotized" if you know what "hypnotizes" you...

 

[Desdinova]

So wouldn't the guy with the restraining order on him be up on the HST list as well? To be in a relationship with the FIRST guy who banged her and to have that end with a restraining order, isn't that a pretty intense emotional fluctuation over time?

It's not emotional fluctuation if her emotions stay in the negative.

But, isn't it the case that if you are concerning yourself enough with a particular high-score too much, that you could be seriously over-investing?

Yes, I could definitely see that. The problem I could see happening is that guys would be determined to work hard so they can climb to the top of her list and ignore the things that make it easy. Putting in the effort to climb to the top of a c0ck-carousel-rider's list is IMO a waste of time.

So, how do you personally figure out a high-score in an easier manner? And how do your understand the list properly?

Find a woman with a short list, and it'll be easy to figure out. If it's overcrowded with tons of men, you're gonna have one hell of a time figuring out who sits where, including yourself.

But, I really don't think it's that hard to bond with women past 25.

I agree that it's not hard to bond with women who are past 25, but I find them to be like a re-used post-it note that doesn't stick to anything.

Basically, my behaviour is to ignore past boyfriends (as much as I can).

See, and that's the problem that not only I have, but many other men have. We can't ignore those other guys, be them ex-BFs or orbiters. If I was just genuinely in it for just the sex, the HSL wouldn't matter. I don't expect someone who enjoys plate spinning to give a damn about the list. He doesn't need to because it's irrelevant where he sits. He likely tops a few lists himself, but that's because he doesn't really give a damn about the woman's fantasy of finding that "one true love".

 

[dustmuffin]

I don't care if I'm at the top of her list. I want to f uck her and if that doesn't work out then I move along. Quit worrying about if you are the best. F uck them and when things go south move along.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't care if I'm at the top of her list. I want to f uck her and if that doesn't work out then I move along. Quit worrying about if you are the best. F uck them and when things go south move along.

And that will keep you high on the list if you already are.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Des, I have to disagree. The reason why women tend to be so messed up in the head after their original top lover is because now there is a void left within them. You just have to know HOW to fill that void. If anything, girls with issues might be EASIER to top the list with (in some ways) simply because they are subconsciously looking for so much more. If you are able to subtly give her those things, say through your body language, how you look at her, where you place your hand on her and how tightly you do it when cuddling, etc., you can top any woman's list unless she is physically addicted to drugs (in which case said woman would not have ANYONE on her high score list except the drug itself). And if you are able to fill that void, you WILL top that list. Why? Because she was at a neutral state before her original top scorer, then he brought her up to the highest she ever went. After he left, she went down BELOW neutral and was never able to be the same way ever again. That is, at least, until you come along and fill that void to where she reaches that same mental state she was at before with her original lover, maybe even higher. But the reason why you will top that list is because you brought her out of the negative emotional rut she was in, you made her emotions travel upwards so much higher since she started lower with you than with that other guy.

VERY few people in this world know how to do this though, but you will leave your mark on her forever.

 

[Urbanyst]

Guys who care about being on a woman's high score list will never be on her high score list.

 

[AlexKaiser]

Basically if you don't get them early, and you aren't in the right age-group to be snagging 16-20 year olds, you've basically failed.

...huh. where the hell did that come from.

 

[guru1000]

I don't care if I'm at the top of her list. I want to f uck her and if that doesn't work out then I move along. Quit worrying about if you are the best. F uck them and when things go south move along.

Exactly. Your position on her list is not even a thought, it's irrelevant. And the more you genuinely don't care about your position with her, the greater she will care about her position with you.

 

[Desdinova]

Des, I have to disagree. The reason why women tend to be so messed up in the head after their original top lover is because now there is a void left within them. You just have to know HOW to fill that void. If anything, girls with issues might be EASIER to top the list with (in some ways) simply because they are subconsciously looking for so much more. If you are able to subtly give her those things, say through your body language, how you look at her, where you place your hand on her and how tightly you do it when cuddling, etc., you can top any woman's list unless she is physically addicted to drugs (in which case said woman would not have ANYONE on her high score list except the drug itself). And if you are able to fill that void, you WILL top that list. Why? Because she was at a neutral state before her original top scorer, then he brought her up to the highest she ever went. After he left, she went down BELOW neutral and was never able to be the same way ever again. That is, at least, until you come along and fill that void to where she reaches that same mental state she was at before with her original lover, maybe even higher. But the reason why you will top that list is because you brought her out of the negative emotional rut she was in, you made her emotions travel upwards so much higher since she started lower with you than with that other guy.

That's an interesting angle.

I agree that women have a void when they lose him, but most men aren't going to be able to fill that void and become more significant than the man who left the greatest emotional imprint. Some men may come close, but it also depends on the guy at the top and how large of an emotional imprint he left on her. For example, I don't think ANY man who doesn't beat the 5hit out of women is going to overthrow an ex who was physically abusive. That's about the deepest you can get when making an emotional imprint on a woman.

Women will often fill their void with men who are just as awful as the one who initially created it. She'll return to drug abusers, alcoholics, criminals, violence, etc. If you can find a woman who has an ex that simply just didn't shower, you'll have an easier time filling that shallow void than filling a deep one left by a man who physically abused her.

 

[Bayne05]

Interesting thoery but imo I think it wouldn't be easy to determine whether you number 1 or the close 2nd. You would think you at the top from all the attention you getting from her but it's only because the guy at the top hasn't made a move on her yet.

But one way to earn that top spot is giving her mind blowing sex. Nothing tops that.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The theory is sound and an insightful, novel psychological concept in certain respects.

Good to bear in mind the one guy who will always be right at the top, even transcend the list, the one who ALL suitors will be competing against or indeed filling the void of: he being, daddy (or maybe big brother in some instances). These guys are top of every girl's list emotionally. But that's Freudian sh!t and really a separate conversation.


There are of course exceptions to the rule as far as romance is concerned. You don't have to necessarily pull a girl at age 18 to reach the top of her list.

-Some girls have never had their buttons pushed properly, so to speak. Especially nowadays, with the rise of female professional and financial independence, many might have had a few fumbles here and there in their formative years, but never with an experienced guy. This has happened a number of times, especially with older women.

-High Score Theory in mind, SMV (or perceived SMV) is still at play and of course largely dictates your high score. She may well have a guy or two at the top of her list, but with low(er) SMV, they may well be very easy to leapfrog over.
Take this one bird I was seeing a few years ago for example. Hot little thing, part Italian; probably a solid 8. She must have been early thirties to my late twenties, and very quickly became besotted. It just fizzled in the end because I wasn't too fussed, but she followed me round for years, just as others have.

-Don't give other men too much credit. Let's face it, most men are terrible catches, just as are most women. The very fact of being on SS, trying to learn how to game women, trying to become better men, makes every guy here at least a 6.5/10 for me. If a man can raise his own value to a majority 8/10, and truly learn to apply game theory and better himself, he's going to be there or thereabouts on most girl's lists, and probably at the top for many 8+/10's.

 

[lizardking82]

-Don't give other men too much credit. Let's face it, most men are terrible catches, just as are most women. The very fact of being on SS, trying to learn how to game women, trying to become better men, makes every guy here at least a 6.5/10 for me. If a man can raise his own value to a majority 8/10, and truly learn to apply game theory and better himself, he's going to be there or thereabouts on most girl's lists, and probably at the top for many 8+/10's.

I agree with the post in general, but I so much agree on this one. This is what I tell guys here sometimes, with as much experience as I have (not too much): most of the guys are almost nothing. Like, I hear stories of men doing things with girls that make absolutely no sense at all ALL THE TIME LOL

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

In da dynamically's post, he says that women aren't as able to fully feel as much after the first time because of the Disney fairytale bull**** that makes her feel 100% the first time and then not so much after because she is basically on guard of her emotions. Well if that's the case, you need to get her comfortable with you enough so that whenever she is with you, she feels like how she did when she was younger and new to love. Make her feel like she can trust you with literally ANYTHING, and be her escape from the world of reality so that whenever she is with you, she doesn't have to worry about the cruelty this world can bring. She needs to be able to feel like she CAN be naive and innocent with you because you will protect her. Why? Because she doesn't want to have to be strong enough to shut away her emotions. Strength is in the domain of men, and she cannot do that. She wants to be able to be weak so that she can collapse and submit but only in the arms of someone she fully TRUSTS. She will only so it to someone who she feels safe with.

Be different from all the previous guys and make her think that you are sincere. And this brings me to my next point: who says that you need to to even fill up that void or leave it deeper than her original top scorer? Why not create a whole new void in her instead? That would place you on a completely different level than the other guys because now your 'high score' is based on a totally different game that she never even knew existed, so to speak.

That's an interesting angle.

I agree that women have a void when they lose him, but most men aren't going to be able to fill that void and become more significant than the man who left the greatest emotional imprint. Some men may come close, but it also depends on the guy at the top and how large of an emotional imprint he left on her. For example, I don't think ANY man who doesn't beat the 5hit out of women is going to overthrow an ex who was physically abusive. That's about the deepest you can get when making an emotional imprint on a woman.

Women will often fill their void with men who are just as awful as the one who initially created it. She'll return to drug abusers, alcoholics, criminals, violence, etc. If you can find a woman who has an ex that simply just didn't shower, you'll have an easier time filling that shallow void than filling a deep one left by a man who physically abused her.

In a direct response to this specific case, you have a point here, especially because she is experiencing 2 extremely differing feelings and sensations. Her logic is telling her not to go for abusive men but her emotions tell her that she loves it simply because she has associated pain with love and maybe even pleasure before; you still can fill that void in her without technically abusing her. In my mind, I think you would simply just need to have really rough, dirty sex. Like REALLY rough dirty, like the crazy **** that's done in porn type of rough. They say every woman likes to be manhandled a bit in bit, and some more than others. Well this would simply be a case where she is a LOT more than others. You will fill her emotional void by 'hurting' her through sex, and because it is through sex specifically, she will get to have that familiar feeling of reassociating pain with pleasure just like her ex did. The only difference would be that you are doing it during sex whereas he might not have, and because you are doing it through strictly through sex she will feel it as a higher form of physical abuse because since it would look and feel like rape to her. But because you don't treat her like that all the time and only do it when having sex, her logical side will just rationalize it as you being a really dominant person rather than 'abusive' like her 'last ex'.

There's different ways to manipulate this.

 

[lizardking82]

In da dynamically's post, he says that women aren't as able to fully feel as much after the first time because of the Disney fairytale bull**** that makes her feel 100% the first time and then not so much after because she is basically on guard of her emotions. Well if that's the case, you need to get her comfortable with you enough so that whenever she is with you, she feels like how she did when she was younger and new to love. Make her feel like she can trust you with literally ANYTHING, and be her escape from the world of reality so that whenever she is with you, she doesn't have to worry about the cruelty this world can bring. She needs to be able to feel like she CAN be naive and innocent with you because you will protect her. Why? Because she doesn't want to have to be strong enough to shut away her emotions. Strength is in the domain of men, and she cannot do that. She wants to be able to be weak so that she can collapse and submit but only in the arms of someone she fully TRUSTS. She will only so it to someone who she feels safe with.

Be different from all the previous guys and make her think that you are sincere. And this brings me to my next point: who says that you need to to even fill up that void or leave it deeper than her original top scorer? Why not create a whole new void in her instead? That would place you on a completely different level than the other guys because now your 'high score' is based on a totally different game that she never even knew existed, so to speak.

In a direct response to this specific case, you have a point here, especially because she is experiencing 2 extremely differing feelings and sensations. Her logic is telling her not to go for abusive men but her emotions tell her that she loves it simply because she has associated pain with love and maybe even pleasure before; you still can fill that void in her without technically abusing her. In my mind, I think you would simply just need to have really rough, dirty sex. Like REALLY rough dirty, like the crazy **** that's done in porn type of rough. They say every woman likes to be manhandled a bit in bit, and some more than others. Well this would simply be a case where she is a LOT more than others. You will fill her emotional void by 'hurting' her through sex, and because it is through sex specifically, she will get to have that familiar feeling of reassociating pain with pleasure just like her ex did. The only difference would be that you are doing it during sex whereas he might not have, and because you are doing it through strictly through sex she will feel it as a higher form of physical abuse because since it would look and feel like rape to her. But because you don't treat her like that all the time and only do it when having sex, her logical side will just rationalize it as you being a really dominant person rather than 'abusive' like her 'last ex'.

There's different ways to manipulate this.

I think, if you listen closely enough, you will easily find out what this girls wants you to do to her that noone before has and if you do that to her properly, not only will you be high on her list, but you will probably never step down because every experience is different. I am bangin' this 18 year old, cute, petite girl right now who when I met her was into rough ****, she started biting my tongue hard and lips and I just stopped her and told her "no, never do that again", and she obeyed. Taught her how to kiss slowly and passionately and she ended up being soaked from it. Then she wanted me to bang her hard, but when I started letting her ride me slowly while casually bangin' her hard, she was soakin' again and could not stop cumming. Like, chicks think they know how they like stuff, but most probably, they associate the stuff they think they like with what their last boyfriend did and I don't give a damn that your last boyfriend ****ed you from behind and he and you liked it. I will make you like the stuff I like. Do that and she ain't gonna find another man like that.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Like, I hear stories of men doing things with girls that make absolutely no sense at all ALL THE TIME LOL

Sh!t man. I see and hear it myself, all the time.

The other week, I'm following this couple down the street - look like probably housemates, rather than lovers. She's an 8, aesthetically speaking. He maybe 6.5-7, kinda skinny-fat neck-beard you know the type. She's moaning about the weather and how she had to spend her lunch break buying umbrellas. Whatever; first world problems, and that. His response is to begin with, 'Well, I was annoyed today, because......' , then they tailed off in to a shop.

I take two things from this:

-She's frustrated, at least sexually, from having to walk down the street with such a pathetic excuse of a man.
-This guy is either gay, or has no first clue about how to handle women. He wasn't giving off a gay vibe though; more just a limp d!ck kinda vibe.

If this guy was (at least) game-savvy, he would understand that, as an emotional woman, rather than answers or empathy, or even sympathy, she just needed picking up. A lot is said about giving women attention when they seek it; but not nearly enough is said about giving them the right kind of attention when they clearly are craving it.

If that was me, I would grab her by the hand like, "Come now, we're going for a drink and you can tell me what's really on your mind" (clearly not fcking umbrellas). I understand it's not easy as a beginner/novice/clueless to do this kind of thing to a girl who's a good 1-2 SMV points superior. But if I can do it, anyone can.

 

[Roober]

The list really is an essential part of understanding why women with a high partner count do not make good mates. If a woman has been with 10+ men, the chance of one guy giving it to her good is very good. If she has been with 20+ men, it is almost guaranteed that one of them put themselves on top of that list.

From my experiences, maybe @Desdinova can chime in...
-Once she has that man up there, it is very difficult to get to the top
-She will likely always want to return to him
-More partners = more steps in the ladder = each with increasing difficulty
-The longer this guy remains at the top, the greater chance he stays there... after a couple years, it might as well be permanent

Now my question... if she has always been the dumper, is there a lower chance she has someone that has a strong hold on the top? I believe my current plate has had 3 partners before me (college bf, exhusband, exbf), all of which she ended the relationship... The only one that comes accross as a potential to be at the top, when she ended it, he turned into a complete AFC stalker.

Can men knock themselves off the list?