Ever been cheated on?

[Initiatedindenial]

If yes, comment on what was the first red flag that you noticed on the subject.

I will start with: GF "going to sleep at one of her friends", then coming mine the next morning and arriving at an underground station that was completely unrelated with were her friend lived.

 

[Krueg]

Girl 1: Sex life died off

Girl 2: Started canceling dates

Girl 3: Was spending more time with her "girlfriend"

 

[Initiatedindenial]

First red-flag was that I stopped fvcking her. Was going through a bereavement, and my head was all over the place.

Second red-flag was that she started hanging around with a "male friend".

Third red-flag was that she prioritized this over seeing me.

Then I sent her a message breaking up. No bullsh*t, and no chance for her to gaslight. When I went to get my things from her place, she started putting on the tears. Was wearing some of my clothes (I sh*t you not), and wouldn't take them off (lol). Called herself a "sex-addict".

Ultimately, my ego was really badly dented. I was naive and stupid. Playing by other people's rules.

What is the saying? Something like "the best prisons are the ones where the inmates lock themselves in", or something like that.

Ufff Male friend is the major red flag in history.

 

[bigneil]

Yes, in July 1993, my first steady girlfriend.

1) She went away for the day with girlfriend to Hampton beach (45 minutes away).
2) Was an outrageous b!tch when she got back (one of the hottest girls ever).
3) Had mad, passionate sex with me that night.
4) Went away a second night the next morning, despite my pleas.
5) Came back and acted moody.
6) Started crying and said "I did something SO bad!"
7) I dumped her when she told me.
8) She begged me to take her back for days.
9) We made up and I had sex with her in a Jehovah's Witness parking lot (yes, I'll do purgatory time for that).
10) I still didn't forgive her.
11) She said I could do anal if I forgave her.
12) When I entered her she cried but then said "Why am I so wet?""
13) I forgave her.
14) I cheated on her with my first love.
15) We broke up.
16) We got back together in 1997.
17) We broke up in May 1997.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Yes, in July 1993, my first steady girlfriend.

1) She went away for the day with girlfriend to Hampton beach (45 minutes away).
2) Was an outrageous b!tch when she got back (one of the hottest girls ever).
3) Had mad, passionate sex with me that night.
4) Went away a second night the next morning, despite my pleas.
5) Came back and acted moody.
6) Started crying and said "I did something SO bad!"
7) I dumped her when she told me.
8) She begged me to take her back for days.
9) We made up and I had sex with her in a Jehovah's Witness parking lot (yes, I'll do purgatory time for that).
10) I still didn't forgive her.
11) She said I could do anal if I forgave her.
12) When I entered her she cried but then said "Why am I so wet?""
13) I forgave her.
14) I cheated on her with my first love.
15) We broke up.
16) We got back together in 1997.
17) We broke up in May 1997.

Lol

 

[QuadDeuces]

Yes the first time I got cheated on: she got cold, distant, b*tchy, snappy, started going out without me, almost no more sex, male friends being mentioned.
It was my own fault though, I had become a needy b*tch after a while with a scarcity mentality.
Her cheating on me was the best thing that happened to me though.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Casually mentioning and sometimes even complimenting/praising another guy in a conversation. I ignored it because I didn't want to act "insecure" or jealous. I know better now. Instant LTR disqualifier.

 

[Billtx49]

Yes, and it's a great way to eliminate low quality women from your life.
Red flag - too concerned about and high frequency of checking her phone. Like getting texts from her friend 'Susan', etc. Was before smart phones though, so not as accurate today.

 

[bigneil]

More recently, last year, about 6 weeks after we started dating, my current girl had a ONS (she swears this was the only new guy since we first started dating in September). It wasn't cheating because we never made a commitment to begin with.

1) Said goodbye with hearts.
2) 7 days went by as she went to Las Vegas after turning 21 and getting a boob job. She wanted to move there and be a show girl at the time. Then she said she wouldn't quit stripping for anything. A guy had just handed her $8000 to get fake boobs.
3) I got a message saying "Thinking of you".
4) When I wrote to confirm our plans for the next day, I got no reply.
5) I wrote again and she said she wasn't feeling well.
6) 3 weeks later she said she feared me.
7) We got together and I asked her if she was with someone else and she said yes.
8) She reminded me I was with 3 other women since her.
9) I told her I liked her the best, and she said she liked me the best.
10) We had mad, passionate sex.
11) We made love for the first time (compared to regular sex).
12) She said sleeping with that other guy made her realize how much better than average I am in bed.
13) She started saying "I love you".
14) We've been going strong since.
15) Now 5 months later, she can't stand stripping and wants to give it up ASAP

Many men say I should have dumped her for "cheating" (before a commitment). On the contrary, looking at the bottom line factor, I should send that guy a thank-you note and force her to sleep with him any time things go south.

 

[AlphaNate]

Everyone has been cheated on if your definition is loose enough.

Or if your woman is loose enough.

 

[Trainwreck]

Yep, knew the girl was a club raging mudshark from the get go and it ended exactly how I exactly predicted it will end.

 

[lizardking82]

As far as I know LOL just once, with my first ever girlfriend, when I was 17 and she was 19. LOL, I was kinda in love (probably not), but she started going out on picnics with her girl friend and other guys and she used to turn off her phone all day (we lived in different cities) and it drove me completely mad until she announced she was seeing this other guy. Then I got so mad I travelled that same day LOL hahahahaha this **** makes me laugh I travelled to the city where she lived and she was waiting for me at the bus station TOGETHER WITH THIS GUY. We went, we had a talk We broke it up about two days later.

 

[Billtx49]

she was waiting for me at the bus station TOGETHER WITH THIS GUY.

Common tactic with some younger girls having the two silverbacks meet each other. Provides lower level direct confrontation for her combined with an added safety barrier, plus sends a strong message to the dumpee.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Casually mentioning and sometimes even complimenting/praising another guy in a conversation. I ignored it because I didn't want to act "insecure" or jealous. I know better now. Instant LTR disqualifier.

Yep, mentioning another guys name out of the blue is a big red flag, almost always an indication of cheating or the precursor to it!

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Casually mentioning and sometimes even complimenting/praising another guy in a conversation. I ignored it because I didn't want to act "insecure" or jealous. I know better now. Instant LTR disqualifier.

This was like a second red flag in my case.
Started mentioning this guy out of the blue on an almost daily basis.

 

[wifehunter]

Most women are wh0res, it's guaranteed they'll cheat. It's a ticking time bomb ready to go off.

 

[RangerMIke]

Yes,

First sign is that she is not as interested in pleasing you anymore.... followed by less sex.... followed by pulling away... this is when the cheating starts. The best response is to just cut her loose and go find other women.

 

[Glassguy]

1.) Less sex
2.) Keeping phone on silent.
3.) Creating fights over small things
4.) Then puts lock on phone
5.) Develops interest in a particular friend, more than likely one that is single.
6.) Then her phone isnt even in sight.
7.) Adding strangers that you dont know or havent heard of before on FB and other social media
8.) No it appears she doesnt even own a phone around you.
9.) You want sex? How dare you want sex. I am too tired and you didnt even take the trash out (sex becomes a taskful reward)
10.) Starts taking long baths and trips to the bathroom with the locked phone that is on silent.
11.) You find out that her saying "I am going to get my own place" means that she has been renting an apartment for 6 months without you knowing it.

That sums it up.

 

[resilient]

Another one to add to @Glassguy, is when she accuses you of reading her phone, tablet, or computer screen when you walk over to her when she's sitting down. "Are you reading my chat???" in a salty tone with a glaring expression. Also her online "friends" know way more about her problems/issues/insecurities than you. As in, you were not aware of an issue or upcoming plans she was making that she didn't mention or bring up in conversation beforehand.

 

[dude99]

If yes, comment on what was the first red flag that you noticed on the subject.

I will start with: GF "going to sleep at one of her friends", then coming mine the next morning and arriving at an underground station that was completely unrelated with were her friend lived.

First red flag was lack luster enthusiasm towards thing together with me.

Second red flag, sudden interest in hanging out with friends without me. Suddenly she became busy but i had to keep the same schedule or...... 3rd flag

And the biggest red flag of them all -- sudden accusations against me when she knew darn well i wasn't up to anything. Didn't know it at the time but learnt through psychology that when they suddenly make accusations for no reason with zero evidence, there is a huge chance they are the ones cheating.