Men In Relationships

[ubercat]

Surely guys don't want to b a walking penis forever. If you've slutted around in your twenties and thirties is pussie going to be a big motivator. Is the 40th or 50th pussie going to be the golden one? That's why I'm quite happy with serial monogamy. As long as the girl is behaving herself I'm content with home comforts.

 

[FwoGiZ]

I am not there yet, but I can't fathom to it ever making sense for me since it's meant and designed for women, not for men. You are literally only buying peace alas for a very short amount of time when you accept to it.

I mean, if you are ok having more drama in your life... I am not... my gf knows real well if she's a cvnt, I won't leave her, but I'll go hangout with another chick. Very very minimal drama with her, she respects me. Oh and it goes both ways before you wonder. I treat her well and fair. We don't do ultimatums and bs a women does when she knows she's your only source of sex.
Oneitis is more prone to happen too... because monogamy in any form is a feminine imperative because scarcity of sex works for them, not for you. Which leads too many guys to the inevitable.
Another thing is breaking up is far more damaging to a guy than a women, I am sure we can all agree on that one. But hey, if you got some girls on the side, trust me it's a lot less bad when you lose one, even if it's your main LTR. I could go on and on... when she gets mad catching you stare at a hot girl or any other complete bs such as "oh you were too nice to her"... cheating on either side which is more likely to happen than not, which follows by a huge mountain of drama.. more drama yep.

My gf learnt a while ago I banged one of her friend and an acquaintance that she really didn't like... she learnt that from someone else that's actually trying to sabotage me. I know cause she told her bes tfriend which is MY bestfriend's wife.. maybe it was intentional knowing I would get to know but fact is she hasn't even brought it up to me cause we don't care bout **** like that. We're both "sluts" but we care for each others. We turn it into a joke and I could never go back to monogamy for reasons like that.

Don't fool yourselves guys, serial monogamy is quite a roller coaster ride. I don't like big rides and I love me long constant high avg happiness and plentifulness of sexual variety
once again, to each their own tho!

 

[ubercat]

Not trying to convince anyone your setup is providing what u want which is great. However think about what u said. If l pussie is not a big motivator how is it going to be an effective method of control? Like any DJ if that girl is not putting out the contract is null and void and it's open season

 

[zekko]

I am not there yet, but I can't fathom to it ever making sense for me since it's meant and designed for women, not for men.

"Designed for women", who says? I would guess that screwing around when you're younger and getting into a relationship when you get older is the most common pattern. That doesn't mean it's better, but for something that PUAs claim is "unnatural", there's an awful lot of humans doing it.

My girlfriend is one of the most laid back women I know. So if you're saying LTRs cause drama, it's not true in my case. In fact, the lack of drama is one of the things I enjoy about LTRs. My life is the furthest thing from a roller coaster ride, I'm on a very even keel.

Oneitis may afflict young people, but at my age the notion just sounds silly. I know damn well if this relationship ends, then I'll just find another girl. Been there, done that.

I firmly believe people should do the thing that is right for them, whatever it may be. Just don't call me a beta, or unnatural, for doing the same.

 

[speed dawg]

We could argue a long time about what's moral and what's not... Rollo talked about it at some point and I wish I remembered his words cause he has this way or wording things but basically, most of what we consider moral is just plain common sense that most human beings agree to, such as do not murder. As a human being, we are social animals so it make sense. It goes along our nature, based on the environment we live in.

Now.... saying "it's moral to fck only one women" goes against our human nature, against our environment... against our evolution... the proof is that there are literally almost no human beings that can achieve it. So tell me more about how moral it is?
Fighting against you're masculine nature could be immoral if you ask me. It's not an emotion of a feeling here that we're talking about. It's a basic reproduction need and instinct. It's powerful willpower.

If you think being monogamous with a women for couples years then moving on to another one is what you'd consider successful monogamy, you need to rethink and see the bigger picture.

We are not swans or penguins... we're homo sapiens. Feminine imperative wants you to believe it's immoral, that's blue pill.

But hey, to each their own... ultimately I don't judge those people, but I keep getting judged? ironic

Soooo.....is there a moral code or isn't there?

I SUSPECT.....just like everything else, it's always deeper than 'don't kill' or 'don't commit adultery'. Killing in a war isn't a sin. Perhaps sex can be enjoyed outside of a marriage in moderation? I mean, as long as you aren't making a habit of having one night stands? What do I know, though.

I totally disagree about morals being something that has always worked for people everywhere. It DID and DOES work, but why? I could argue that there are a lot of muslims right now that think killing their enemies works, although the way they are doing it is criminal, and we all know it.

 

[Dingo]

Don't get married....

Married guy here.... just don't.....

 

[Roober]

The best way I can describe it and I am going to steal a bit from "The Rational Male"...

A good relationship is easy!

It shouldn't ever feel like work. It should be seamless and two people that click well should just be able to flow throw life and have fun. The issue is that this is different for everything. What I want and what you want are completely different.

For example...
-my exwife - I didn't enjoy going out with her, I didn'treally enjoy her company, the sex was aweful and lots of work, and we didn't share many common interests. I felt like I had to use energy to make the relationship fun...
-my exgf - we had a great time out, but didn't share many common interests. She didn't enjoy doing anything healthy, and was an aweful traveler. We went to Hawaii, and it felt like work. Additionally, it required a ton of work on my part for me to feel comfortable in the relationship
-my current plate - everything is just easy. I lead and she is completely along for the ride. She suggests something, and I look for ways to fit it into our plans.. on my schedule. She enjoys fitness and wants to hit the gym with me. Sex is great and easy

Some of the key things people ignore are
-sharing some common interests (music, activities, etc.)
-sharing common values - how to raise kids, how to treat others, outlook on drugs, focus for activities

ANYONE can make ANY relationship work with ANY OTHER PERSON. The difference is whether or not they are having fun, or just doing what society tells them. I am not qualifying fun as going to vegas, or traveling, but more about just enjoying each other. For example, yesterday, went a got some food with main girl, ate some salsa and was like "fvck this is hot" in my head, so I made a face. She said "oh is it really good?" I smiled and said... "It is amazing, you have to try it"... She is not big on spicy food... so I sat there and smiled as she ate it, she said "oh this is good"... and I waited, then... "holy ****, that is hot as fvck"... she laughed and hit me... I nearly fell out my chair laughing... she was like "You mother fvcker, I am going to get you".... I said "damn right, you can spank me later".... she just laughed... my exwife would have lost her $hit if I did that to her.... if this girl can't take my jokes and personality, I will cut her off in an instant...

A woman has to let you be you!

 

[FwoGiZ]

"Designed for women", who says? I would guess that screwing around when you're younger and getting into a relationship when you get older is the most common pattern. That doesn't mean it's better, but for something that PUAs claim is "unnatural", there's an awful lot of humans doing it.

My girlfriend is one of the most laid back women I know. So if you're saying LTRs cause drama, it's not true in my case. In fact, the lack of drama is one of the things I enjoy about LTRs. My life is the furthest thing from a roller coaster ride, I'm on a very even keel.

Oneitis may afflict young people, but at my age the notion just sounds silly. I know damn well if this relationship ends, then I'll just find another girl. Been there, done that.

I firmly believe people should do the thing that is right for them, whatever it may be. Just don't call me a beta, or unnatural, for doing the same.

I feel ya. But you are 55, with a lot of background which enabled you to achieve the LTR you currently have. Have you always had this chill gf? There is a path to walk before you get somewhere. Would you tell a 20yo that serial monogamy is the way to go? I wouldn't.
I have a very very low drama LTR too but the reason is I am still "screwing around". But let's just be realistic here for a sec... do you think most LTRs are like mine or yours? Let's say for people under 40s...
They're not... lotso cheating going on, hypergamy strikes hard and so on.

At least with serial monogamy, you still learn more and more compared to those 20yrs marriage/divorce but what I am saying is that it is far from optimal and that they serve women VERY well compared to men...!


And 100% agreed with you Roober! Keep your frame up!

 

[FwoGiZ]

Soooo.....is there a moral code or isn't there?

I SUSPECT.....just like everything else, it's always deeper than 'don't kill' or 'don't commit adultery'. Killing in a war isn't a sin. Perhaps sex can be enjoyed outside of a marriage in moderation? I mean, as long as you aren't making a habit of having one night stands? What do I know, though.

I totally disagree about morals being something that has always worked for people everywhere. It DID and DOES work, but why? I could argue that there are a lot of muslims right now that think killing their enemies works, although the way they are doing it is criminal, and we all know it.

There is no moral code when it comes to sexual strategies and reproduction. This stuff is too deep and evolved into us from thousands of years...

 

[zekko]

I feel ya. But you are 55, with a lot of background which enabled you to achieve the LTR you currently have. Have you always had this chill gf? There is a path to walk before you get somewhere. Would you tell a 20yo that serial monogamy is the way to go?

I've had the chill girlfriend since I was 42. There was definitely a learning curve there, and had to get my value up along the way.

For the youngsters, I do think that it is beneficial for every guy to spin plates at some point in their life. But I think guys can also learn some things from LTRs. I'm not one of these hardcore "Thou must be spinning plates always, all the days of your life" types. I don't see it as the magic pill that some do.

Some push the plate spinning because it is useful for beginners. But I don't like the idea of writing down to newbies. There's nothing wrong with them learning that LTRs can work, just as long as they don't run out and get married.

 

[ubercat]

See what I don't get is if you're not plate spinning how do u evaluate if a girl is ltr material. Surely doing it one by one is going to be slow and frustrating.

So I m saying it's not a binary choice of plate spinning or LTR. Plate spinning can and should be your sales funnel to an LTR

 

[zekko]

So I m saying it's not a binary choice of plate spinning or LTR. Plate spinning can and should be your sales funnel to an LTR

Spinning plates is a great way to screen for LTRs, I agree completely. Or to just have fun.

Sometimes though, when a guy's life gets very busy, it can be hard to find the time to spin multiple plates. I spun plates during much of my 20s.

But I also recall a time in my early 30s when I was going out with numerous women in rapid succession, one right after another. It was almost like an audition process. There was no commitment, I could have been spinning plates, I just didn't have the time. I don't recall either of those situations being better than the other, it was just whatever fit better into my life at the time.

 

[highSpeed]

Spinning plates is a great way to screen for LTRs, I agree completely. Or to just have fun.

Sometimes though, when a guy's life gets very busy, it can be hard to find the time to spin multiple plates. I spun plates during much of my 20s.

But I also recall a time in my early 30s when I was going out with numerous women in rapid succession, one right after another. It was almost like an audition process. There was no commitment, I could have been spinning plates, I just didn't have the time. I don't recall either of those situations being better than the other, it was just whatever fit better into my life at the time.

Could not agree more Zekko. Take it from a guy who's the same age as you and essentially missed out. I thought I was being a good guy, that being the nice guy would be appreciated and respected. Let me tell you, it's not.