Do you think saying your GF "is all mine" makes you look weak/clingy?

[randalljohnson]

My GF recently posted a pretty selfie on facebook. She actually made it her profile pic (still hasn't put me in her profile pic several months into the relationship, even tho she did for her ex, but I won't get mad about that.) I posted a comment that said "you're all mine" with a few smiley face heart emojis following. In the DJ's opinions, does that make me look clingy/weak? Do u think that's more of a comment that a woman would make, rather than a man?

 

[The Duke]

It comes across as a little insecure. You need to ask yourself, how does that statement make her want you more?

It doesn't do anything to increase attraction. All it does is reinforce that you aren't going any where. It lets her feel secure and not work so hard to please you. That's not what you should be aiming for in keeping a female attracted.

 

[randalljohnson]

It comes across as a little insecure. You need to ask yourself, how does that statement make her want you more?

It doesn't do anything to increase attraction. All it does is reinforce that you aren't going any where. It lets her feel secure and not work so hard to please you. That's not what you should be aiming for in keeping a female attracted.

What if we both love eachother and both want the same things (commitment/stability.) Would that still detract her?

 

[randalljohnson]

Yes. You're supposed to be the island and she is the boat trying to cling on. If she is really feminine, she will be repulsed by clinging behavior, or even behavior that looks clingy. Remember, it's not just about how you feel, it's also about the 1000 guys who were clingy with her in the past. She has probably developed PTSD from desperate and clingy guys so you can easily trip her up and give her flashbacks.

Similarly, every alpha guy in her past was somewhat emotionally distant, cool, had a higher purpose than her, was an emotional rock that she clinged onto.

Well I can say she's not an "extremely feminine" girl. She's a bit tom-boyish. If that changes anything.

 

[randalljohnson]

Usually your gut tells you that you are being needy/clingy. If it didn't, you wouldn't be asking us. If you even feel a slight hint of neediness, chances are you are EVEN MORE needy than you think. Always err on being too cool than to be slightly clingy.

The truth is, she's had bad luck with most men in the past, and they didn't provide for her the way I do. I'm there for her and her child when either of them need something. I feel she appreciates that and adds to why she loves me. That's my opinion anyway.

 

[The Duke]

It doesn't matter how in love you guys are. It doesn't matter if she is a tom boy. These are the basics of attraction.

Its easy to come across as supplicating and when you do you end up on the losing end of that deal every time.

Women always want was isn't easily attainable. Always keep them missing you. Make them wonder what you are up to. Make them wonder why you don't post on her faKebook anymore.

 

[randalljohnson]

It doesn't matter how in love you guys are. It doesn't matter if she is a tom boy. These are the basics of attraction.

Its easy to come across as supplicating and when you do you end up on the losing end of that deal every time.

Women always want was isn't easily attainable. Always keep them missing you. Make them wonder what you are up to. Make them wonder why you don't post on her faKebook anymore.

I'll admit that in the early months of our relationship, I was guilty of Liking alot of what she posted, even things that her friends tagged her in. I've since eased off Liking so much of her stuff.

 

[The Duke]

The truth is, she's had bad luck with most men in the past, and they didn't provide for her the way I do. I'm there for her and her child when either of them need something. I feel she appreciates that and adds to why she loves me. That's my opinion anyway.

And none of that "bad luck" she had with men is her fault?

Providing for her and her kid is a slippery slope. I'm sure she appreciates it. But don't ever expect any thing in return. Your job is to make that vagina tingle. Providing for her and her kid doesn't generate tingles.

 

[randalljohnson]

And none of that "bad luck" she had with men is her fault?

Providing for her and her kid is a slippery slope. I'm sure she appreciates it. But don't ever expect any thing in return. Your job is to make that vagina tingle. Providing for her and her kid doesn't generate tingles.

She used to fall for prettyboy-badboys. And they would end up burning her. Cheating on her, using her,etc. Her one ex was aloof but to an extreme. He acted like he didn't care for her at all and ultimately that ended. I'm pretty sure he was just using her for sex.

If you follow my posts on here, I'm not the kinda guy who she'd "fall for" in the past. As I said, she used to really get suckered for the bad boys. When we met several months ago, she had just been effed over by one of them. We both wanted the same things; comfort and stability for ourselves and our kids (we're both single parents.) So I assumed she was over that "bad boy" phase. I wrote a whole post about it. It mainly touches on my insecurities. Check it out; it's called "my girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes"

 

[randalljohnson]

She is basically giving you her blueprint for what she is normally attracted to. Emotionally distant, too cool, being a challenge and aloof, etc.

If you act the OPPOSITE of this, you aren't going to create more attraction. SHE thinks in her mind this is what she wants. Every woman coming out of her "bad boy phase" thinks she wants a nice guy. And it's okay for awhile. But she will feel there is something missing. That's why her ex's picture was on her facebook and not yours. I am not saying she is looking to branch off. Just remember to be a challenge. And control your neediness. Give her 90% and withhold 10%. That 10% could be facebook. Facebook is for women to get validation. You should be busy doing something you are passionate about - a purpose beyond your relationship. Only women center their lives around their relationship.

Believe me I felt insecurity about her branching. Read my post "my girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes." She kept our relationship hidden on fb for the first few months we were together (we were rocky early on) and she's been on-and-off Liking the same few guys pictures.

And for the record, she has just recently started sharing things on facebook about how we're soulmates

 

[sazc]

I just want to make sure I watch this play out

 

[randalljohnson]

I just want to make sure I watch this play out

Thanks for the encouragement girl

 

[Reykhel]

The truth is, she's had bad luck with most men in the past, and they didn't provide for her the way I do. I'm there for her and her child when either of them need something. I feel she appreciates that and adds to why she loves me. That's my opinion anyway.

Oh so you're her "Captain save a 'ho"

She's been burned by the "badboys" in the past and even had a kid with one of them.........and now you're picking up the pieces and
paying the bills....for someone elses's kid. Yikes.

You're comment to her was pretty feminine in all fairness. You really want her to be saying ****e like that to you......

You sound like you adore her and really look up to her (yes you are pedalizing her)

She'll keep you around as long as she needs the bills paid.

 

[sazc]

Thanks for the encouragement girl

With all respect, and in a playful manner, I want to shake you vigorously - to try to get some self esteem into you.

You are so insecure about this female you are justifying being in her life by comparing yourself to the past men she had dated.

"Why wouldn't she want to be with me, I provide for her, unlike all her previous boyfriends"

That needs to TURN INTO
" I am a great catch, of course she wants to be with me" but you gotta FEEL that, you don't feel that, yet.

If you needed to comment anything on her picture, you should have commented "beautiful" and left it at that.

Still want to shake you.... Want to make you a project.....

 

[randalljohnson]

With all respect, and in a playful manner, I want to shake you vigorously - to try to get some self esteem into you.

You are so insecure about this female you are justifying being in her life by comparing yourself to the past men she had dated.

"Why wouldn't she want to be with me, I provide for her, unlike all her previous boyfriends"

That needs to TURN INTO
" I am a great catch, of course she wants to be with me" but you gotta FEEL that, you don't feel that, yet.

If you needed to comment anything on her picture, you should have commented "beautiful" and left it at that.

Still want to shake you.... Want to make you a project.....

Haha, so u feel my comment was too sappy?

 

[randalljohnson]

Oh so you're her "Captain save a 'ho"

She's been burned by the "badboys" in the past and even had a kid with one of them.........and now you're picking up the pieces and
paying the bills....for someone elses's kid. Yikes.

You're comment to her was pretty feminine in all fairness. You really want her to be saying ****e like that to you......

You sound like you adore her and really look up to her (yes you are pedalizing her)

She'll keep you around as long as she needs the bills paid.

Well I'm not a very wealthy guy so if she simply wanted money she could've looked elsewhere. Read my post "my girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes" that'll give you alot of insight on my situation

 

[sazc]

The good news is that you are here asking the question so the attitude change it's starting to seep in, albeit slowly

 

[sazc]

Haha, so u feel my comment was too sappy?

It pains me to see that you are behaving in this relationship from a place of insecurity instead of self confidence. It pains me that she probably knows she holds your balls.

Know why it pains me? Because you may very well be the most decent guy she has ever dated, but if she knows you are submissive to her, that fact won't matter if a stronger, more self confident, more alpha guy comes around. It's likely she will be drawn to his strength.

Question.... If you pulled back would she come after you? Would she Chase? If asking that question triggers fear or insecurity in you, then she holds the power.

I'll say this too - if you really are the quality male to her that she has ever had, and she sees that value, if you pull back a little she WILL Chase.

If she doesn't chase, she doesn't see you holding the same value you see in yourself. In that case, let her go find another ahole to use her.

 

[Von]

Do à sex tape with her and publish it online, tagging her and you, on both profile page.

She'll forever be yours.

You're insecurity is what killing you. Act with more confidence and dominance. Reason she ain't public 100% yet is she's still in the "debating phase".

Confidence and acting more assertive will solve that. Relationship arent online, they in person and in the bed room. Be Good, Be polite, Be Respectfull, be Confident and call the shoots. She'll love you more for it.

 

[AlphaNate]

Yes.