I do lack experience and it does get to me a lot. I've had the opportunity to sleep with a plethora of women, its my mental disorder that prevented me from doing so. I'm almost 40, so that experience ship as sailed, but hope to not let my disorder get in the way like it has practically my whole life. Maybe I have a lot of built up anger towards the world because of it. Having been with that Cluster B really opened up my mind, but I am also extremely broken from it as a result. I've suffered everyday since she left, almost commited suicide a couple times, had thearpy, severe panic/anxity attacks, ect. Some days I wonder if my life will ever be the same. Thank you for the heart felt response. God Speed
Fvck it, you can only start from where you're at.
The experience ship has not sailed. It starts when or restarts when you want it to. Don't go writing yourself off just yet. Lamenting
for what might have been or where you think you should be will give strength to an energy that will hold you back like a black hand of smoke being held over your face....
The key is to say
yes to your universe. Accept where you're at right now. Accept who you are right now. Accept the past that has gone without wishing it could have or should have been different. Accept the mental disorder. Accept. Say yes to your lot right now. Say yes to your universe.
It's only by accepting where we're at can we let go of a lot of negative emotional energy and make the most of our circumstances.........and progress and finally transcend.......
You label yourself as extremely broken.......and how does it make you feel? Emotionally drained and like ****e I'd imagine. You could easily reframe your past as learning experiences and reframe your present as a journey of enlightenment and excitement....
You and only you can do that now...
You also have the choice to no longer your ex to control how you feel today. She has not got that power. Let her go.