Should I go with three strikes on her? Did she cancel because I said I'm only seeing her?

[Rambo92]

This is very good. Or just " a gentleman doesnt kiss and tell" with a smirk on your face. Dont worry sounding a bit playerish, it seems like that is exactly what you should be sounding more like at this point, Rambo92

Never take a womans advice. I got told I'd scare her off if I made it seem like I had lots of options, etc.

Then again, she was acting flaky like this last week and I didn't notice it.

I also think I missed an opportunity for sex with her too, but it couldn't be helped. Between date one and two she said she was home alone doing uni work and I said something like "bet that's you getting up to trouble " and she was like if you could drive you could come over and keep me company. Unfortunately even if I could drive, I was at work.

My gut feeling was she was enjoying all the attention I was giving her but probably wasn't feeling it and didn't know how to reject me. She said she was new to this dating thing so possibly. Guess it took my persistance to finally get her to cave. She was probably asking me that question in hope that I was seeing other girls so she could let me down.

On our dates she was very inclined to split the dinner bill with me and on the second date after bowling and a meal, she seemed insistant on going home. Aka I suggested a movie or some crazy golf thing but she didn't seem so excited. At that point I thought I'd never hear from her but she texts me telling she had an amazing night and continues to initiate a tonne the following week.

Do you find it weird how on Sunday she's drunk texting me that her friends want to meet me and come to their party, then she suddenly rejects me in the week? That's what I don't understand.

 

[Konada]

So now the real story comes out. Instead of trying to fvck her you went the gay male route. You have a d!ck and 2 balls, act like one next time.

 

[bigneil]

The first date cancellation from her shouldn't occur until after lots of sex, and at least 2-3 months of dating. Even then it is a huge warning sign.

You have to flip the script back to her chasing you. She has to reach out TWICE. She has to initiate all future contact. She must propose a new time/date on her own.

You don't initiate or ask her out anymore. If she likes you enough, she will do both. From this point on the relationship must be her initiating the most.

 

[Tenacity]

Do you think it's because I said I'm just seeing her? Or could she be legitimately ill? I want to give a three strikes chance, but at the same time I'm tempted to remove her from Facebook and move on.

Dude, play the numbers game.

- Approach 20 women
- Get 12 numbers
- Date 6 of them
- Fvck 3 of them

Why the 17 women out of 20 didn't fvck you, is anybody's guess. Maybe you were too short? Too tall? Too broke? Too rich? Too ugly? Too handsome? Too black? Too white? Too muscular? Not muscular enough? Too funny? Not funny enough? Too tough? Too soft?

Or, maybe it wasn't YOU at all, maybe the bytches were crazy and had their own issues going on?

It doesn't matter, you aren't going to have a 100% success rate. Just focus on the numbers game and stop overanalyzing this shyt. Use those analyzation skills for your career, finances, and investments.

 

[Juanto]

Dude, play the numbers game.

- Approach 20 women
- Get 12 numbers
- Date 6 of them
- Fvck 3 of them

Why the 17 women out of 20 didn't fvck you, is anybody's guess. Maybe you were too short? Too tall? Too broke? Too rich? Too ugly? Too handsome? Too black? Too white? Too muscular? Not muscular enough? Too funny? Not funny enough? Too tough? Too soft?

Or, maybe it wasn't YOU at all, maybe the bytches were crazy and had their own issues going on?

It doesn't matter, you aren't going to have a 100% success rate. Just focus on the numbers game and stop overanalyzing this shyt. Use those analyzation skills for your career, finances, and investments.

Good post. Would only add, look back at the mistakes you made pointed out here (especially read Reykhel posts) and you will be on the right track for the future.

 

[Rambo92]

So now the real story comes out. Instead of trying to fvck her you went the gay male route. You have a d!ck and 2 balls, act like one next time.

Not like I could. I was in charge of our workplace, I couldn't drop and leave..

 

[pyros]

I havent read all the messages because its not really worth it. I've read similar stories from other guys, and I've experienced it myself.

In short: YOU ARE TOO DAMN DESPERATE.

Have you checked how many damn posts you've written?? you're too damn desperate, this is your main problem and THIS IS WHY SHE, MORE THAN LIKELY, DIDN'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU AGAIN. She felt it, she tested you, she got confirmation.


You have to change the way you think, and thus the way you act, completely.

You must reach a point where you think women are just an extra in your life, like if you bought a new laptop: it would be fun, you would like it, but if you did not buy it, you did not really care because you would be happy anyway.

 

[Rambo92]

Dude, play the numbers game.

- Approach 20 women
- Get 12 numbers
- Date 6 of them
- Fvck 3 of them

Why the 17 women out of 20 didn't fvck you, is anybody's guess. Maybe you were too short? Too tall? Too broke? Too rich? Too ugly? Too handsome? Too black? Too white? Too muscular? Not muscular enough? Too funny? Not funny enough? Too tough? Too soft?

Or, maybe it wasn't YOU at all, maybe the bytches were crazy and had their own issues going on?

It doesn't matter, you aren't going to have a 100% success rate. Just focus on the numbers game and stop overanalyzing this shyt. Use those analyzation skills for your career, finances, and investments.

I know this one mentioned her ex disappeared on her for 6 months and got a girl pregnant in that time, that along with me showing interest in her and her lack of dating experience it could have scared her. But then she could have just met someone else. Was just weird how she was going hot and cold, but I need to judge off their actions.

I want to date multiple girls, but my job makes it hard. Guess I'll try.

 

[Rambo92]

I havent read all the messages because its not really worth it. I've read similar stories from other guys, and I've experienced it myself.

In short: YOU ARE TOO DAMN DESPERATE.

Have you checked how many damn posts you've written?? you're too damn desperate, this is your main problem and THIS IS WHY SHE, MORE THAN LIKELY, DIDN'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU AGAIN. She felt it, she tested you, she got confirmation.


Live and learn.

That's because I vent all that onto forums. When she postponed the first couple of dates she offered an alternative so that was okay. When she postponed last Tuesday, she asked if I was free at the weekend but I could only do late and she could not so I asked when is she next available. She said Wednesday and we confirmed. I acted desperate when she cancelled Wednesday though, suggesting Thursday night but then she offered me Saturday/ I said 8:30pm how does that sound and she said it was a bit late.

Whenever we texted and she asked questions getting to know me I'd keep her guessing and if she persisted I told her to wait for my answer on our date. I'd keep it witty, flirty and upbeat and would stop the texting after 4-5 texts.

She initiated 80% of the time. I might sound desperate on here, but that's from the aftermath of it. When she started acting flaky last week, I kept my cool until I messed it up this week by telling her she was the only girl I'm seeing.

 

[Rambo92]

The first date cancellation from her shouldn't occur until after lots of sex, and at least 2-3 months of dating. Even then it is a huge warning sign.

You have to flip the script back to her chasing you. She has to reach out TWICE. She has to initiate all future contact. She must propose a new time/date on her own.

You don't initiate or ask her out anymore. If she likes you enough, she will do both. From this point on the relationship must be her initiating the most.

The first date cancellation was a few weeks ago where she said she had to take her family to the airport, but she told me she was free a few days later on the Saturday and we did meet up. She also told me she was nervous and had butterflies about it.

She reached out to me 80% of the time. I probably reached out once or twice a week and she reached out pretty much every other day. If I sent the last text then I definitely backed off until I heard from her.

But I see what you're saying. if she cancels on the day just accept it and let her reach out with another date. I'll learn from this. When you say twice, do you mean ignore the first and reply to the second text?

 

[bigneil]

The first date cancellation was a few weeks ago where she said she had to take her family to the airport, but she told me she was free a few days later on the Saturday and we did meet up. She also told me she was nervous and had butterflies about it.

She reached out to me 80% of the time. I probably reached out once or twice a week and she reached out pretty much every other day. If I sent the last text then I definitely backed off until I heard from her.

But I see what you're saying. if she cancels on the day just accept it and let her reach out with another date. I'll learn from this. When you say twice, do you mean ignore the first and reply to the second text?

Your situation sounds salvageable. You're just in the middle of the early chess game stage.

My girl cancelled last Friday. It was mostly my fault, but I knew the rules.

I went on another date last night (with a girl I met last Friday after I got stood up) and actually told her about my date (the timing of it all, asking her if that is what she wanted). She immediately reminded me she still wants to see me and formally asked me out. I accepted.

 

[nismo-4]

You're not desirable, and it shows in your failure.

When she knows she's your only one, she stops being your only one. Move on, your princess is in another castle. Block her. She's not that attractive and you can do better anyway.

Case closed.

 

[KingBeef]

Dude, play the numbers game.

- Approach 20 women
- Get 12 numbers
- Date 6 of them
- Fvck 3 of them

Why the 17 women out of 20 didn't fvck you, is anybody's guess. Maybe you were too short? Too tall? Too broke? Too rich? Too ugly? Too handsome? Too black? Too white? Too muscular? Not muscular enough? Too funny? Not funny enough? Too tough? Too soft?

Or, maybe it wasn't YOU at all, maybe the bytches were crazy and had their own issues going on?

It doesn't matter, you aren't going to have a 100% success rate. Just focus on the numbers game and stop overanalyzing this shyt. Use those analyzation skills for your career, finances, and investments.

I'm Kingbeef and I endorse this message...

 

[greatsnake]

i would next her.

 

[Rambo92]

Your situation sounds salvageable. You're just in the middle of the early chess game stage.

My girl cancelled last Friday. It was mostly my fault, but I knew the rules.

I went on another date last night (with a girl I met last Friday after I got stood up) and actually told her about my date (the timing of it all, asking her if that is what she wanted). She immediately reminded me she still wants to see me and formally asked me out. I accepted.

She gave me the whole busy at the moment with work excuse and explained about her placement and SATs around the corner, that she thinks she might have to cool this off for a while and she doesn't want to be messing me around as i'm a gentleman.

I don't know whether it's because I wrote facebook statuses that made it look like I was with other girls on dates, but I was actually with friends or it was probably saying she was the only one I was seeing at the moment. Problem is my job is time consuming so I find it hard to date multiple girls and didn't want to lie. If I was seeing another girl I'd have said.

Either way I need someone who's more local anyway. 25 miles is too far anyway and would take me an hour to get to hers via public transport. We'd have to keep meeting in the city centre to split the distance and there'd hardly be a chance of sex happening much as we both live with our parents, and if hers are out then I'm either working or she has plans.

I just think it would have been an inconvenience and the distance has been on my mind since. I nearly didn't reply to her first ever message due to a bad experience with distance before, but guess because she was exciting to talk to I thought I'd give it a chance.

 

[Rambo92]

i would next her.

Talking to other girls now, but not rushing. I find the conversation feels forced if I'm trying to find a girl quick. I prefer letting girls get in touch with me, seems to flow then because you know they want to talk to you.

 

[Rambo92]

You're not desirable, and it shows in your failure.

When she knows she's your only one, she stops being your only one. Move on, your princess is in another castle. Block her. She's not that attractive and you can do better anyway.

Case closed.

She looked better in her photos anyway. I still found her attractive in person but she was probably a 9 in her photos and a 7 in person.

Things happen for a reason, she was obviously not right for me otherwise it would have worked. Lessons learned and onto the next and much better girl. Her loss.

 

[Konada]

She looked better in her photos anyway. I still found her attractive in person but she was probably a 9 in her photos and a 7 in person.

Things happen for a reason, she was obviously not right for me otherwise it would have worked. Lessons learned and onto the next and much better girl. Her loss.

Nothing wrong with telling a girl that you are only seeing her. However, that's under the premise that she knows you can leave if she acts like a cvnt. I think you have to work on the latter part.

 

[Rambo92]

Nothing wrong with telling a girl that you are only seeing her. However, that's under the premise that she knows you can leave if she acts like a cvnt. I think you have to work on the latter part.

Yeah, I get you. I know sometimes if she'd text something that I thought was a bit off I'd back off and she'd double text. But it seems to give the impression that she can have me when she wants, whereas showing you have options keeps her pushing things forward and on her toes. I mean she even worried about my facebook statuses and these girls liking them which got her asking the question. I should have kept that frame.

 

[Rambo92]

Also wow, just randomly started talking to a girl from the same small country town that this one is from. Be awkward if they know each other but there's 4 years age difference between them, but hey this girl let me go so her fault. Least I'm talking to others, although I do kind of feel "tired" from dating at the moment and might just focus all my efforts on myself for now.

I'll keep active on POF but girls can reach out to me instead, I won't actively be looking. Just a bit bored atm.