What's the biggest lesson you learn about women?

[sazc]

I'm fairly certain that most of that was just instinctually based though rather than logic based. Like our genes told us to naturally do those things rather than have us thinking about them. That's how it was in the beginning anyway. We used logic to make our lives easier by conserving less energy and to be able to track prey down, and learn from our mistakes more. Fair point though.

there was a lot of instinctual decision making going on. that is when we were using our intuition to it's optimum level. now a days,as humans, we have lost a lot of that ability.

 

[Urbanyst]

I do, however, have emotions and, if the man I am with hurts my feelings, or some other outside incident (unrelated to him) hurts my feelings,and I share with him that my feelings are hurt, and he tries to tell me hat he's not having any of it because he doesn't see my emotions as rational/logical thought, I know I am not dealing with a man who sees much value in me as a person, or the relationship. And im pretty chill and thoughtful about expressing myself. I'm not a yeller. I dont 'get angry'. I talk.

How do you draw that conclusion and what are you basing it on?

I've seen women get their "feelings hurt" over some pretty stupid sh*t. For instance, once a girl got upset with me because I didn't comment on her new sunglasses. So you are saying such a stupid over-reaction requires me to be comforting to her or else I don't value her as a person?

You should apply more logic to what you are saying (pun intended).

 

[sazc]

How do you draw that conclusion and what are you basing it on?

I've seen women get their "feelings hurt" over some pretty stupid sh*t. For instance, once a girl got upset with me because I didn't comment on her new sunglasses. So you are saying such a stupid over-reaction requires me to be comforting to her or else I don't value her as a person?

You should apply more logic to what you are saying (pun intended).

No, I'm not talking petty sh1t like that.

I'm talking about deeper stuff. Like co worker conflict, family drama. Stuff that occurs because of fvcked up people being mean to you. Or something your partner said or did that genuinely hurt your feelings. Mature, real, stuff where you want support and are refused support because the other person disagrees that you should feel hurt because feeling hurt doesnt make logical sense to them.

My mom just disowned me for the umpteenth time a few days ago (her baggage) Expressing I am upset that she continues to do this to me and being responded to with "she always does this to you, you need to just get over it" Me explaining that I'm hurt by the lack of support I am getting from my partner and the response is "your feelings are not logical. she's done this to you before. by now you should be tough. im not going to cater to your emotions on this because then you will start to make big emotional dramas out of other stupid sh1t"

#happened #recently

To me that screams "dont give a sh1t about you or how you feel" The response alone was enough to hurt my feelings even further. it hurts to recall it to you. Someone who was supposed to have my back failed me miserably.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Of course, that is what I said. We were all instinctually/emotionally based creatures at first, like most animals are still nowadays. For some reason (and this is a very interesting topic, at least to me), we managed to evolved into creatures with logic and bigger brains than other creatures AND in our own kind, for other reasons and some I mentioned up above, the males managed to become even more evolved than the females on the logic thinking.

It's because of the XY chromosome on men. Women have XX. Now they can carry two traits. Whichever trait is more dominant is whichever one that shows. Say for example, a woman has a trait for blue eyes and brown eyes. For whatever reason, brown eyes are the dominant trait so they will have brown eyes instead of blue eyes. Men on the other hand, only have one single X chromosome, which means that we can only carry one single trait. Whether or not that trait is dominant or recessive is negligible because it is the only trait we have, since again, we can only carry one trait. If a man has the blue eye trait, he will have blue eyes. If it's the brown eye trait, he will have brown eyes. He cannot have both traits at the same time. Women however can.

Well the same goes for logic. Men developed logic better because we can only carry one trait saying that we are logical. And as we all know, humans got to the top of the food chain because we are smarter and more logical than other creatures, which means that the men who had the logic trait were more likely to survive than men with the purely emotional trait.

Also, this is why the greatest feats in the world have been accomplished by men. Those great men just had the genetic predisposition to it that women likely would not have been able to have. Also, if you look at the average intelligence levels between men and women, you'll find that we both have the same average. But there tends to be more men in the smarter and dumber category as well, about a 10%-20% greater range/variance than women. It's because of the XY trait. Men are more likely to be smarter than the average and dumber than the average as well.

there was a lot of instinctual decision making going on. that is when we were using our intuition to it's optimum level. now a days,as humans, we have lost a lot of that ability.

It's still there. We just don't use it. People living in third world countries are able to use it better. It's because in places like the US, they put crap like fluorine in the water which stops the use of our pineal gland. They use the excuse that it stops tooth decay, but in reality its because one of the traits of our pineal gland is that it helps us think more for ourselves.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

No, I'm not talking petty sh1t like that.

I'm talking about deeper stuff. Like co worker conflict, family drama. Stuff that occurs because of fvcked up people being mean to you. Or something your partner said or did that genuinely hurt your feelings. Mature, real, stuff where you want support and are refused support because the other person disagrees that you should feel hurt because feeling hurt doesnt make logical sense to them.

My mom just disowned me for the umpteenth time a few days ago (her baggage) Expressing I am upset that she continues to do this to me and being responded to with "she always does this to you, you need to just get over it" Me explaining that I'm hurt by the lack of support I am getting from my partner and the response is "your feelings are not logical. she's done this to you before. by now you should be tough. im not going to cater to your emotions on this because then you will start to make big emotional dramas out of other stupid sh1t"

#happened #recently

To me that screams "dont give a sh1t about you or how you feel" The response alone was enough to hurt my feelings even further. it hurts to recall it to you. Someone who was supposed to have my back failed me miserably.

Man I swear, that's the type of stuff guys deal with all the time. That sounds like the typical response I'd get from people if I told them something that was bothering me lol. It's just how we as guys are told how to deal with things like that so it might be harder for him to relate.

One of the reasons I discovered that people might tell you that is because you either keep talking about it a lot which can annoy them, you are a debbie downer which no one wants to be around, or maybe the other person is just an @sshole who doesn't give a crap about the feelings of others at all.

 

[lizardking82]

Man I swear, that's the type of stuff guys deal with all the time. That sounds like the typical response I'd get from people if I told them something that was bothering me lol. It's just how we as guys are told how to deal with things like that so it might be harder for him to relate.

One of the reasons I discovered that people might tell you that is because you either keep talking about it a lot which can annoy them, you are a debbie downer which no one wants to be around, or maybe the other person is just an @sshole who doesn't give a crap about the feelings of others at all.

I just think he wants to solve her problem LOL it's a "sickness" we guys have, that is why this whole thing is pretty interesting. He, with his logical, male brain, identifies a problem = "her mother keeps doing this to her all the time" and instinctively, he finds a very logical solution = "do this and that to fix the problem". It is nothing personal, @sazc , that is how his brain is hardwired to work. I would somehow agree with him

 

[sazc]

Long story short, he's not a match for what i am looking for in a man.

IMO part of feeling anchored to your man is feeling emotionally supported and emotionally cared for. I think this plays a huge role in monkey branching and possibly cheating (tho I have no scientific proof on that) It just seems that a female who feels emotionally anchored to her dude (weather he is bul$hitting about his empathy or not) will be less likely to stray, looking for emotional connection. I dont monkey branch, and I dont cheat. I do have standards and needs, and I was clear about what I needed surrounding this subject a while ago. In all honesty, I dont care if he bull$hits me about being empathetic, as long as I feel as if he is empathetic to how I feel - because then I feel connected to him.

Anywhoo, the man search continues

 

[Urbanyst]

No, I'm not talking petty sh1t like that.

I'm talking about deeper stuff. Like co worker conflict, family drama. Stuff that occurs because of fvcked up people being mean to you. Or something your partner said or did that genuinely hurt your feelings. Mature, real, stuff where you want support and are refused support because the other person disagrees that you should feel hurt because feeling hurt doesnt make logical sense to them.

My mom just disowned me for the umpteenth time a few days ago (her baggage) Expressing I am upset that she continues to do this to me and being responded to with "she always does this to you, you need to just get over it" Me explaining that I'm hurt by the lack of support I am getting from my partner and the response is "your feelings are not logical. she's done this to you before. by now you should be tough. im not going to cater to your emotions on this because then you will start to make big emotional dramas out of other stupid sh1t"

#happened #recently

To me that screams "dont give a sh1t about you or how you feel" The response alone was enough to hurt my feelings even further. it hurts to recall it to you. Someone who was supposed to have my back failed me miserably.

Sounds like you are not respecting how he feels either lol.

Just because someone doesn't give you the reaction you want, that doesn't mean they don't care about you. Maybe the problem is just draining to him too because its the same sh*t over and over and you are not learning from it.

I have family members who whine over the same tired sh*t for years and I feel the same way about them too. I'm supportive with new issues and problems but not old ones. Old problems are ridiculous. Old problems mean you either cannot learn or cannot make mature decisions.

Just giving you the opposite perspective. Whenever we get upset with people we have to remember that they also have emotions and we impact their emotions with our bullsh*t too.

 

[sazc]

Sounds like you are not respecting how he feels either lol.

Just because someone doesn't give you the reaction you want, that doesn't mean they don't care about you. Maybe the problem is just draining to him too because its the same sh*t over and over and you are not learning from it.

I hear you but, nope, that's not the issue. i'm extremely low drama in general. I dont 'find' things to get dramatic about. I have other things that need my attention.

I expect to be treated with respect in my relationships. The way he responded to me was not respectful. I can understand someone saying "you know, your mom does this a lot. I'm sorry you continue to get upset about it. " but IMO it isnt respectful to outright dismiss how your partner is feeling. It's just not a quality I will accept in a partner. I do my very best to give my partner respect with my words, compassion, empathy, etc, because lack of these things can destroy feelings.

IMO a relationship needs to be a sanctuary that two people share. Safe. Otherwise, what's the point?

 

[Urbanyst]

I hear you but, nope, that's not the issue. i'm extremely low drama in general. I dont 'find' things to get dramatic about. I have other things that need my attention.

I expect to be treated with respect in my relationships. The way he responded to me was not respectful. I can understand someone saying "you know, your mom does this a lot. I'm sorry you continue to get upset about it. " but IMO it isnt respectful to outright dismiss how your partner is feeling. It's just not a quality I will accept in a partner. I do my very best to give my partner respect with my words, compassion, empathy, etc, because lack of these things can destroy feelings.

IMO a relationship needs to be a sanctuary that two people share. Safe. Otherwise, what's the point?

Yeah, I would agree with that.

No reason to stay with someone who doesn't respect you. Being single is better. I always drop girls (and friends) if I notice a pattern of disrespect starting. Life is too short for that crap.

 

[homie]

The biggest lesson I learned about women is that you generally don't need them at all lol.
No necessity, they just can make you feel good for a short period of time and that's it. I used to think that female validation is indispensable, but when I started to get that, I understood that it's just nothing.
(except for reproduction, which I don't concider yet)

 

[lizardking82]

I hear you but, nope, that's not the issue. i'm extremely low drama in general. I dont 'find' things to get dramatic about. I have other things that need my attention.

I expect to be treated with respect in my relationships. The way he responded to me was not respectful. I can understand someone saying "you know, your mom does this a lot. I'm sorry you continue to get upset about it. " but IMO it isnt respectful to outright dismiss how your partner is feeling. It's just not a quality I will accept in a partner. I do my very best to give my partner respect with my words, compassion, empathy, etc, because lack of these things can destroy feelings.

IMO a relationship needs to be a sanctuary that two people share. Safe. Otherwise, what's the point?

The way he responded to you may not have been respectable, but keep in mind that you were going to him not for the first time with the same problem and feeling. This is exactly what my ex girlfriend kept on doing, she presented the same problem over and over again, I offered her a simple solution which she was not ready to do apparently (for her own reasons) and then she kept on bringing the same personal problem up over and over again. I mean, wouldn't you find it annoying if he came up to you with a problem and you offered him a very logical and simple solution, he agreed with you and then he would not solve the problem anyways? Maybe he had some **** during his day and now you come in with your repeated, solvable but that you don't solve, problem?

 

[The Duke]

yea, I hear you. Your words are hard for me to process/relate to because you are not only 'telling me' who I am (which is flawed), but I am a software engineer, am not in my 20's and am not materialistic.

I do, however, have emotions and, if the man I am with hurts my feelings, or some other outside incident (unrelated to him) hurts my feelings,and I share with him that my feelings are hurt, and he tries to tell me hat he's not having any of it because he doesn't see my emotions as rational/logical thought, I know I am not dealing with a man who sees much value in me as a person, or the relationship. And im pretty chill and thoughtful about expressing myself. I'm not a yeller. I dont 'get angry'. I talk.

I deal with a lot of engineers. They are some of the most rational people you will ever come across, including the few females that are in the field. You will never be any good solving problems(as engineers do) if you use more emotion than logic. I'd say you don't fit the typical female being discussed here.

 

[dude99]

One i just thought of.

Anything except a "yes" is nothing but jargon.

Women use jargon to avoid answering questions.

 

[wifehunter]

One i just thought of.

Anything except a "yes" is nothing but jargon.

Women use jargon to avoid answering questions.

Yes, is like static...not No, and not Yes...

I recommend not giving a fukk. (Goes and plays videos games)

 

[pyros]

1 their 'love' is highly dependent on your value to her eyes.
2 it doesnt matter what they say because they change their mind in an eye blink depending on their needs.

 

[Hector1]

Women are extremely opportunistic creatures, that sums it up pretty well.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I learned that they are not a big of a deal as guys on this board make them

 

[SgtSplacker]

There are women who are more conservative and equitable. You guys are talking about "hot girls" which are entitlement based lizard creatures.

Man I really wish I could see this for myself, every time I get to know a girl well I always discover they are just like the rest.

I'm with you man, I think there have to be good ones out there. I just never see any..

 

[MrAddiction]

1. How Do you make me feel.
2 What is in for me?!

That is what women are driven by and what their decisions are based on.