To the guys who went back to their ex when they improved few years.

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How did you initially interact with her? How did it work out? How did you reel her back in? Just want to know how to go about it incase I want to try one more time.
 

Leaf

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Residual feelings suck don't they mate. But to be clear, you're only holding onto the fond happy memories of times gone by. The issue is you both know whom you both were when things didn't work out and that unfortunately given time will always come to rise. Do yourself a favor. Find a new bird and build new memories with her.

And in case you are stubborn enough to give this a shot, just treat her as you would a new girl; flirt, all the teachings of The Bible and the likes with absolutely no mention of your previous life you two shared.
 

dustmuffin

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How did you initially interact with her? How did it work out? How did you reel her back in? Just want to know how to go about it incase I want to try one more time.
Don't chase her. She has to come to you. Other than that no idea. I would just forget about her. You will find better.
 

Desdinova

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The woman who drove me here (after breaking up with me in 2001) began pursuing me again in 2010 after I had ended my marriage. She's been doing it on and off for the last five years. She quits pursuing every time I get into a new relationship.

I've had very mixed feelings about getting back together with her. The sex was terrible, she went back to the guy she lost her virginity to and got pregnant with his kid, she's dragged that kid through live-in relationships with pieces of 5hit, she's a smoker, has a few orbiters, and a really fvcking crazy temper. Do I want all that 5hit? Not really.

There's always better women out there. All you have to do is work at finding them.
 

dustmuffin

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How did you initially interact with her? How did it work out? How did you reel her back in? Just want to know how to go about it incase I want to try one more time.
I have the same thoughts somrtimes. Why are you upset? Love? Probably not. Its the rejection. At least it is for me. I think about my ex and thank god i didnt marry her. She has more red flags than a red flag company. Think of her negatives. Mine has plenty. There are more women. Better women in front of you. Forget her. Its hard but we have all had to do it. Heed the advice given. Dont try to go back. Its over. Better things ahead.
 

Spinach

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Funny, but I am just in this situation. A few observations that are from my perspective only. I reunited with my special snowflake after her current guy got caught by her doing drugs with another woman. Long story short: We have been seeing each other pretty intensely for the past month. I find myself walking on eggshells around her and playing the fool just to make her smile. Last night her daughter decided that I wasn't right for mom and sent a text basically telling my ex to chose between herself and me. Well guess how that went... Anyway, listen to the other posters. You can get her back, but let me tell you it will be at the price of your dignity and self worth because she will own your ass. Life is way to short for that kind of servitude. Do yourself...and her a favor before any more life goes by and walk the hell away.
 

dustmuffin

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Funny, but I am just in this situation. A few observations that are from my perspective only. I reunited with my special snowflake after her current guy got caught by her doing drugs with another woman. Long story short: We have been seeing each other pretty intensely for the past month. I find myself walking on eggshells around her and playing the fool just to make her smile. Last night her daughter decided that I wasn't right for mom and sent a text basically telling my ex to chose between herself and me. Well guess how that went... Anyway, listen to the other posters. You can get her back, but let me tell you it will be at the price of your dignity and self worth because she will own your ass. Life is way to short for that kind of servitude. Do yourself...and her a favor before any more life goes by and walk the hell away.
You have to go in with the right mind set and don't give a crap. Hard to do. She has to come to you. She does the chasing you make the rules. You have to be over her to do this. Its easier to just move on. Why put yourself through more possible heartache? I think it can be done when many years have passed and you start from square one. Like a previous poster said.
 

jinsang

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hi, new to the forum, 35 with a kid and broken mariage

Im glad I found this forum, so many good advice here.
Wanted to make a thread about one of my ex-gf but after searching posts it guess its alright to post here.
So I dated this girl for 3 years, we broke when I was 20 and I tried to get back to her several times the next months afterwards but she always rejected. My last attempt was a graffiti that me and friend made near her house, she went mad about it because she starting a relationship at the time.
I gave up and moved on, had some relationships until 5 years ago having a kid and getting married, she married and had a child too in the same years as me, such a coincidence. Her marriage ended after one year due mostly to her husband cheating on her, my marriage ended too but only after 3 years with on and off periods . We live in a small town and have some semi-friendly connections which I assumed had pass this info all along, the same way it came to me. We dont have contact, we sometimes cross paths and say "hi, how are you" not exchanging any relevant conversation.

So what happens is my father passed away and she sprayed a 4 word dedication in a wall near the graveyard.
At first I did not pay any attention, only after some time of my pain of mu loss fading away I started to think about it, and im 90% sure that it was her that wrote it and I know for sure it is intended to me as it has my name. I am clueless to why she did it, is there any way a girl would do something like this out of respect because we both meet one an-others parents? Is it any sort of signal?

I kind of want to confront her about this, I guess its a genuine reason even not beigh interested (which I am btw. )How should I approach her? What would you do?
 

soulforge

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There are better woman outhere man!

I went through a few months of wanting my ex back real bad man..

But now that I am thinking more clearly..

Yes she was attractive.. but the sex was pretty average, she did not make much effort to make it great.. she rarely initiated the sex..

She was not a very loving or effectionate, also she was very rude or nasty at times, and lacked empathy..

So why waste your time wanting a garbage ex back... aim for getting a better quality woman..

Once you reach indifference, none of it will matter
 

lizardking82

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Two reasons this is happening to you: 1) you miss the sex 2) you come from a place of scarcity where you don't think you can find someone as "amazing" as her.

News flash: you can have sex with other women until you find one that you have chemistry with, but I know just the idea of that makes you tired when you know you could have this one ***** waiting for you anytime + there are better women out there with which you probably have even higher chemistry with than with her.

Don't be a lazy ass, get out there and grind.
 

Roober

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Once you take out the trash, you don't EVER go back to the street and rummage through it. Your neighbors see you do it, it's gross, and it is never going to be as good as you remember it
 
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