UNDERemployed Male Millennials UnDate-able?

[ThisNThat]

I previously posted something earlier in regards to women having to possibly "settle" on men that are underemployed or in the blue collar field with incomes quite marginal.

Not talking about the UNemployed (in case you read the headline wrong), but those who have taken up warehouse jobs working forklifts, or become a Fed Ex driver (pretty decent company actually),and so on.

They've taken on these jobs because they couldn't find jobs in their chosen degree that should have warranted them a higher paying job. They usually remain unemployed after college while job hunting for THAT job, but push comes to shove...in order to survive and keep the lights on...they take on these low end jobs.

"But Peter Schiff has been saying for months that most of the jobs being created are low-paying, service jobs, not jobs that you can build a life around:"

Key words there, "build your life around." Would that be concerning for men who are on the prowl for ladies? Of course, they could date the waitress or cashier, right?

https://schiffgold.com/key-gold-news/failure-launch-millennials-struggling-adulthood/

“In 1975, only 25% of men aged 25 to 34 had incomes of less than $30,000 per year. By 2016, that share rose to 41% of young men.”

Both male and females are still living with their parents will into their mid-30s. In times past, it used to be a thing to live with your parents, both male and female, until those younger people got married and got their own place together.

Do you think it'll go back to that? Of course, I can pretty much be sure that late 20s women living with their parents will be compatible with men in their late 20s ALSO living with their parents, or will that double standard of it being a turn off to women be still in place?

Or does this mean more and more men will start to struggle dating wise, although employed, they are underemployed and have pretty much made up their mind not to seek out future financial gains and remain in that employ until they start drawing social security?

 

[ThisNThat]

This kind of reminded me of a date I went on with a woman he was only a nanny. I was doing call center work at the time and had done so for 3 years. She was like, "You don't plan on doing that for the rest of your life, do you?" and I asked back, "You don't plan on being a nanny for the rest of your life?"

That shut her up. lol Of course, I didn't get another date with her either. lol

 

[AttackFormation]

I personally focus on what I can and want to do, not what I can't and don't want to. If you're an underemployed dude and some chick doesn't want to date you because of that, what you should tell yourself if you want to think about that at all isn't "I need to do X so she will agree to date me", it's "do I want to do X?". You have to put pleasing yourself first, not other people.

I think it was @Bible_Belt who said work is for suckers, and I agree. I'd never work a non-career job for more hours a week than I needed for minimalist subsistence. Why would I want to spend my life working?

 

[Urbanyst]

Money matters. This is yet another example. It was discussed in length in these threads:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/mathematical-proof-money-0.240199/

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/lets-talk-about-money.239952/

Is a man dead in the water if he is under-employed and living with his parents? I would say no.

Does a man with a career, a good job and his own place have a MASSIVE advantage in the dating market over guys who don't have that? I would say yes.

 

[ThisNThat]

Money matters. This is yet another example. It was discussed in length in these threads:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/mathematical-proof-money-0.240199/

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/lets-talk-about-money.239952/

Is a man dead in the water if he is under-employed and living with his parents? I would say no.

Does a man with a career, a good job and his own place have a MASSIVE advantage in the dating market over guys who don't have that? I would say yes.

I knew of a guy that after he got laid off, he was unemployed for several months and was still able to score dates with women he met out and about...even though they knew he wasn't working.

 

[ThisNThat]

I recall a post some where, not this one, where a man who just graduated college in his early 20s moved back in with his parents obviously until he got a job in his field that he graduated in.

There was this woman he was talking to that had parents buy her her car during her sweet 16, but he took the bus to a job that was min. wage. She also had a min. wage job.

HIs parents didn't believe in buying cars for kids, but if you're dating a woman that had parents that did this kind of thing...a woman is not going to say, "Oh, well...I guess I should date you since you're parents didn't buy you your car."

You see, it matters not to the woman the circumstances of you NOT having a car...yet, it's the fact you DON'T have a car that's a turn off.

Double standards, right?

He did later get a car and a better job, but that was his point.

 

[FairShake]

There are unemployed "bad boys" or "jerks" who will continue to sexually thrive in this winner-take-all, welcome to our robotic overlords, capitalist climate. Just as they always have.

The rest of mandom? At least technology is trickling down and VR porn is a thing.

There is less competition for "good dude" status though. With so many guys dropping out, if you aren't them it's easier to look better.

 

[El Payaso]

This kind of reminded me of a date I went on with a woman he was only a nanny. I was doing call center work at the time and had done so for 3 years. She was like, "You don't plan on doing that for the rest of your life, do you?" and I asked back, "You don't plan on being a nanny for the rest of your life?"

That shut her up. lol Of course, I didn't get another date with her either. lol

A friend of mine is a chemical engineer. Obviously, he's making bank. He recently got married to a woman. Now you're probably thinking she's just as successful.

Nope, she's a nanny.

By and far, women mostly date/marry up. They very rarely date/marry down.

Women are obsessed with status and want to be able to brag to their friends and family that their husband or boyfriend is a doctor/business man/engineer etc.

There's also the element of respect. When a woman is pulling more bank than the man, she tends to be more disrespectful towards him.

 

[bigneil]

I agree. These "men" are the equivalent of those fat girls who have been told they look perfect all their life. They are in for a reality check. Fat girls and broke guys don't tend to reproduce without welfare assistance.

 

[FairShake]

By and far, women mostly date/marry up. They very rarely date/marry down.

Women are obsessed with status and want to be able to brag to their friends and family that their husband or boyfriend is a doctor/business man/engineer etc.

Not in my backyard! And not in the backyard of 95% of the Western world which isn't crawling with single doctors, businessmen, and engineers

Success like that is rarer and rarer among young men. Women are increasingly dating down (or not at all) and feel grateful to get (and keep) a man who has something, anything going.

Those status hoes are less and less because of less status pimps!

 

[bigneil]

There are unemployed "bad boys" or "jerks" who will continue to sexually thrive in this winner-take-all, welcome to our robotic overlords, capitalist climate. Just as they always have.

Yes, but missing are the millions of men who used to have a good work ethic and would earn their own way. Now they whine in their safe spaces and preach to men here about how their women only want them for their money. To many broke millennials, becoming wealthy means becoming beta.

 

[WitnessGR]

A friend of mine is a chemical engineer. Obviously, he's making bank. He recently got married to a woman. Now you're probably thinking she's just as successful.

Nope, she's a nanny.

By and far, women mostly date/marry up. They very rarely date/marry down.

Women are obsessed with status and want to be able to brag to their friends and family that their husband or boyfriend is a doctor/business man/engineer etc.

There's also the element of respect. When a woman is pulling more bank than the man, she tends to be more disrespectful towards him.

And women are supposedly the emotional ones... seems pretty logical of them to want to date and marry up. Also, is it not the men who get more emotional over a woman, than a woman a man?

 

[ThisNThat]

And women are supposedly the emotional ones... seems pretty logical of them to want to date and marry up. Also, is it not the men who get more emotional over a woman, than a woman a man?

I read somewhere that it takes a man a long time to get over a break up, but women get hit more, initially...emotionally, but she gets over it quicker than a man does.

 

[CMNILS87]

Actually I can give you guys first hand experience.

Almost 30, back in school and worked odd end jobs through my 20's after my first college degree.

It's frustrating when you're a decent looking guy and you get stuck in a rut even though you try and do the best. Most of the time it's not about what you know, but who you know. I remember even last year when my buddies my age all engineers are all blabbing about buying their houses and how much they're making and all that bull****. Makes me want to scream because I did everything right, networked, got good grades and it just didn't pan out how I'd hoped.

To the under employed status. I work for 18/hour at 2 different jobs, but also have a side construction business. I pulled in 55k last year, but compared to others my age it's probably half of what they make and I worked twice the hours. I feel severely underemployed even making what I am. I think most in my situation are looking for that job to step up to and go for it or just a foot in the door where you can show your worth and thrive, but you don't know where to look or who to talk to. (Some may even just take the **** jobs because they don't want to work their way up and do management bull****).

Now to dating,

I'd definitely say there's a disconnect. I tell women I'm dating that I'm a supervisor that works with disabled. Very interesting stuff for sure. Some are super intesrested and the others disappear after a few dates because they know I won't provide that big house and status. I've dated lots of fun women. But the disconnect comes around 25-26. The girls start hopping off the carousel and want a beta and that's when you start to get weeded out. Undateable no.....unmarriageable yes.....if her smv is higher than yours. I know a couple guys that work dead end jobs that are married, but they married down and probably thought they couldn't do better.

Once I get my construction management degree and project manager status and my side business bigger,I'll have status and looks and be able to cut chicks loose left and right if I don't like them.

 

[ThisNThat]

Actually I can give you guys first hand experience.

Almost 30, back in school and worked odd end jobs through my 20's after my first college degree.

It's frustrating when you're a decent looking guy and you get stuck in a rut even though you try and do the best. Most of the time it's not about what you know, but who you know. I remember even last year when my buddies my age all engineers are all blabbing about buying their houses and how much they're making and all that bull****. Makes me want to scream because I did everything right, networked, got good grades and it just didn't pan out how I'd hoped.

To the under employed status. I work for 18/hour at 2 different jobs, but also have a side construction business. I pulled in 55k last year, but compared to others my age it's probably half of what they make and I worked twice the hours. I feel severely underemployed even making what I am. I think most in my situation are looking for that job to step up to and go for it or just a foot in the door where you can show your worth and thrive, but you don't know where to look or who to talk to. (Some may even just take the **** jobs because they don't want to work their way up and do management bull****).
.

100% it's who you know. Been down that road of being in the rut where the cards didn't pan out for me. I'd work various contract jobs with the govt, but no real government jobs. I was trying to get on with a job as a full time govt worker, but that never happened. So I was in and out of temporary contract jobs where I worked along with the permanently employed workers.

If the contract ran out, and didn't get "The bid" then I was out on my butt.

One woman I dated was a 30-something clerical worker in the county govt. another was unemployed, but working on an organic farm, but for store credit and not for income (she is 40). She moved back in with her parents when she graduated from her 2nd shot at college in her mid-30. Lived in the big city of Chi-town for years with her b/f, but things didn't work out with her long term boyfriend (he didn't' want kids, she did)

So some women were willing to date me regardless of my status as an inventory specialist at an automotive service center.

As far as blabbing, I recall some dudes bragging about how they ALREADY had a desk waiting for them AS SOON as they were going to graduate college. I was applying for work in my last semester and wasn't getting bites. I had a hard time buying the fact that things were already set in motion for those dudes...but still. They were probably related to someone that hooked the up the day they graduated.

 

[Urbanyst]

Once again, it's important to point out that this game is about numbers and probability.

Can a broke guy living with his parents get laid by a hot woman? YES!

Will a guy who has a career and money, plus all the same qualities as the broke guy get laid more easily, more often, and by hotter women? YES!

Money matters. It's a major factor. There is no way around it.

 

[dude99]

This kind of reminded me of a date I went on with a woman he was only a nanny. I was doing call center work at the time and had done so for 3 years. She was like, "You don't plan on doing that for the rest of your life, do you?" and I asked back, "You don't plan on being a nanny for the rest of your life?"

That shut her up. lol Of course, I didn't get another date with her either. lol

Sounds like a chick that wanted a dude to pay her bills.

 

[dustmuffin]

Overheard a woman trying to validate a guy on his dating potential at my improv class.

Her: Where do you work?
Him: at a warehouse packing books to be shipped.

Her: Where do you live?
Him: with my sister .I can't aford to live alone.

They are both in their early 30s.

I don't think he got a date.

 

[Urbanyst]

Overheard a woman trying to validate a guy on his dating potential at my improv class.

Her: Where do you work?
Him: at a warehouse packing books to be shipped.

Her: Where do you live?
Him: with my sister .I can't aford to live alone.

They are both in their early 30s.

I don't think he got a date.

Women will always pick winners over losers. Our society defines a winner as someone with money and worldly success. Some people might not like that definition but that is the definition society has chosen. Gotta deal with it.

 

[bigneil]

It's not what you know, it's who you know - hang in there - until you have 20 years experience. Then it's what you know.

When your car breaks down and you have it towed to the shop and the mechanic shows up, you don't ask him what high school he went to.