darksprezzatura
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2017
- Messages
- 1,387
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To the DJs out here, lifelong AFCs, Alphas, Betas, Omegas and all the pals.
Reading @bradd80 's post about toxic women aka the ones with daddy issues fit so well with respect to my ex, I thought I'd reinforce his post and add my two cents to every person in need of some help.
As men the relationship between our brain-heart should be that of a man and a wife.
The heart trusting the mind's decisions, and the mind keeping the heart's interests.
Almost every bad relationship creates a rift between them, which is compounded if our upbringing had flaws itself.
I dated a woman who came from a broken home and simply brushed off this BIG RED FLAG naively rationalising, it's not her fault.
Abandoned father, divorced mother, hatred for step mother, jealousy with step brother, custody battles, tattoos, piercings, self harm, emotional manipulation/blackmail , suicidal 'jokes', jealousy games, immature **** cut threats, lying, irrational jealousy, provocative behaviour, possible infidelity. The works.
Compounded with intermittent god worship, freak sex, agreeing to everything, always available for sex.
I'm sure this rings a bell to some of you.
Its the heart's behaviour to rant and whine and vent for how it was mistreated.
I'm guilty as charged
This post is for everyone experiencing heartache, blaming themselves, angry at an ex, angry at yourself, guilty, so on and so forth,
There are scores of PTSD riddled men out there desperately seeking some help for the pain to end.
This was me. I feel fantastic now and thought I'd share how I worked through it so someone who was in my state can work through it.
There's going to be an immense amount of obsession about your BPD/HPD/Daddy issue/AW etc etc woman.
Primarily because the heart desiring the childlike warmth, God like worship, freak sex, and ready availability and love for you and fear of abandonment possibly inflating your ego.
But let me tell you how to get out of the trap.
The brain gets obsessed with the pain (PTSD) the brain creates and continuously tries to reassure the heart by logic.
You find yourself having an INTERNAL CONFLICT.
It's the heart-mind dilemma.
The heart pounds for the woman it wants or had sex with or felt happy with, gets angry at the non reciprocation or the unchanging miserable nature, starts venting, searching for answer.
The brain shows it the red flags, the pain, the misery, the mistreatment, people posting all the miserable experiences.
Understand that the heart doesn't understand logic and the brain doesn't understand emotions.
We all know the relationship caused nothing but stress, drama, instability and added nothing of value or you would still be together and happy. Whether it was your fault or hers or just incompatibility, it doesn't matter.
The brain rationalises it. Heart doesn't understand and causes the brain, pain.
The brain keeps experiencing pain and gets pissed angry at the heart and the conflict keeps rising leading to depression.
I'm sure for a lot of guys here, the long awaited feeling of indifference is something we would thank heaven for.
To go about it, I learnt sprezzatura, or detached amusement.
Your heart is a primal kid wanting the cookie. It doesn't care if it has poison. It's gonna cry if it doesn't get it. It'll rant it'll whine it'll create all sorts of trouble.
Your brain has to train itself to become detached from the enmeshing with the heart while taking care of it. Your thoughts and continuous logical reasoning of the situation to the heart is where it gets messed up.
Whenever any of negative pain inducing thought induced by the primal heart comes into play, learn to detach, not participate in the drama and OBSERVE ALL THOSE THOUGHTS FROM A DETACHED PERSPECTIVE LIKE A MOVIE.
It wants a toy and it wants THAT toy. Cue ONEITIS for a toxic woman.
Keep it happy by doing things which you like, self improvement, bodybuilding, acquiring resources, approaching other women, learning game, reading and indulging in other primal things. Cue GFTOW.
Make the heart learn to trust the mind's decision again. Make the mind detached and amused while taking care of the heart by satisfying as many primal urges without emotional repercussions.
Recognise when the thoughts striking are based or driven by LOGIC or EMOTION and take the appropriate response. Slowly the primal heart thoughts would adhere to the logical brains senses and the pain would stop.
This is ALPHA. This is the greatest moment of your life. Take it as an experiment and try. It'll be fun.
Reading @bradd80 's post about toxic women aka the ones with daddy issues fit so well with respect to my ex, I thought I'd reinforce his post and add my two cents to every person in need of some help.
As men the relationship between our brain-heart should be that of a man and a wife.
The heart trusting the mind's decisions, and the mind keeping the heart's interests.
Almost every bad relationship creates a rift between them, which is compounded if our upbringing had flaws itself.
I dated a woman who came from a broken home and simply brushed off this BIG RED FLAG naively rationalising, it's not her fault.
Abandoned father, divorced mother, hatred for step mother, jealousy with step brother, custody battles, tattoos, piercings, self harm, emotional manipulation/blackmail , suicidal 'jokes', jealousy games, immature **** cut threats, lying, irrational jealousy, provocative behaviour, possible infidelity. The works.
Compounded with intermittent god worship, freak sex, agreeing to everything, always available for sex.
I'm sure this rings a bell to some of you.
Its the heart's behaviour to rant and whine and vent for how it was mistreated.
I'm guilty as charged
This post is for everyone experiencing heartache, blaming themselves, angry at an ex, angry at yourself, guilty, so on and so forth,
There are scores of PTSD riddled men out there desperately seeking some help for the pain to end.
This was me. I feel fantastic now and thought I'd share how I worked through it so someone who was in my state can work through it.
There's going to be an immense amount of obsession about your BPD/HPD/Daddy issue/AW etc etc woman.
Primarily because the heart desiring the childlike warmth, God like worship, freak sex, and ready availability and love for you and fear of abandonment possibly inflating your ego.
But let me tell you how to get out of the trap.
The brain gets obsessed with the pain (PTSD) the brain creates and continuously tries to reassure the heart by logic.
You find yourself having an INTERNAL CONFLICT.
It's the heart-mind dilemma.
The heart pounds for the woman it wants or had sex with or felt happy with, gets angry at the non reciprocation or the unchanging miserable nature, starts venting, searching for answer.
The brain shows it the red flags, the pain, the misery, the mistreatment, people posting all the miserable experiences.
Understand that the heart doesn't understand logic and the brain doesn't understand emotions.
We all know the relationship caused nothing but stress, drama, instability and added nothing of value or you would still be together and happy. Whether it was your fault or hers or just incompatibility, it doesn't matter.
The brain rationalises it. Heart doesn't understand and causes the brain, pain.
The brain keeps experiencing pain and gets pissed angry at the heart and the conflict keeps rising leading to depression.
I'm sure for a lot of guys here, the long awaited feeling of indifference is something we would thank heaven for.
To go about it, I learnt sprezzatura, or detached amusement.
Your heart is a primal kid wanting the cookie. It doesn't care if it has poison. It's gonna cry if it doesn't get it. It'll rant it'll whine it'll create all sorts of trouble.
Your brain has to train itself to become detached from the enmeshing with the heart while taking care of it. Your thoughts and continuous logical reasoning of the situation to the heart is where it gets messed up.
Whenever any of negative pain inducing thought induced by the primal heart comes into play, learn to detach, not participate in the drama and OBSERVE ALL THOSE THOUGHTS FROM A DETACHED PERSPECTIVE LIKE A MOVIE.
It wants a toy and it wants THAT toy. Cue ONEITIS for a toxic woman.
Keep it happy by doing things which you like, self improvement, bodybuilding, acquiring resources, approaching other women, learning game, reading and indulging in other primal things. Cue GFTOW.
Make the heart learn to trust the mind's decision again. Make the mind detached and amused while taking care of the heart by satisfying as many primal urges without emotional repercussions.
Recognise when the thoughts striking are based or driven by LOGIC or EMOTION and take the appropriate response. Slowly the primal heart thoughts would adhere to the logical brains senses and the pain would stop.
This is ALPHA. This is the greatest moment of your life. Take it as an experiment and try. It'll be fun.
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