My Ex Is Contacting My Previous Ex.. WTF

[soulforge]

Hey guys some advice needed here..

As you well know from my previous threads, i recently dumped a chick who i had serious oneitis for.. SERIOUSLY ASHAMED OF MYSELF!

This girl moved in with me for around 3 months, then chit just fell apart.. she definitely falls into the cluster b catiogary..

Rude, desrespectful.. lack of empathy.. she was also abig time wine bar girl.. possibly a ex raging *****!!

anyhow i recently dumped her.. changed my mobile number and went complete 100% no contact on her ass.. this woman was fuking cold and abusive!!

2 months of no contact.. and now she has contacted one of my previous exes through Facebook..

She messaged my previous ex, and said this....

"HI THIS IS SHARON.. I RECENTLY ENDED A RELATIONSHIP WITH ............ I NEVER MET HIS FAMILY AFTER 2 YEARS OF DATING.. I'M NOT SURE IF I REALLY KNEW HIM..
I DON'T INTEND TO CONTACT HIM EVER AGAIN.. BUT CAN YOU TELL ME IF HE WAS A MAN OF INTEGRITY?

My previous ex is infact a good friend of mine, and she called me immediately about this matter! I told her to block this abusive scum bag immediately... so now she has been blocked.

Looks like she at some point went through my mobile phone.. and took down details of my ex...

Now she is trying to get information off my ex from many years ago..

I want this scum bag woman out of my life forever.. she is a narcissistic abusive woman.. i was trying my best to heal with 100% no contact.. AND NOW THIS!

should i carry on with strict no contact?? Or message my ex and tell her that she is behaving like a stalker, and she needs to fuk off out of my life...

I am furious about her intruding in my private life, fishing for date..


How should i proceed? My previous ex has blocked her on Facebook..


Should i also remain no contact? And not feed her ego.. she obviously has questions that need answering.. best to starve her of the answers???

Damn i hate this woman.. i regret getting involved with this sloot

 

[Glassguy]

Remain no contact. Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she got a rise out of you.

It won't be long before she has her claws in the next dude and she'll do the same sh!t to him.

Remain dead silent.

 

[soulforge]

Remain no contact. Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she got a rise out of you.

It won't be long before she has her claws in the next dude and she'll do the same sh!t to him.

Remain dead silent.

I am thinking.. it's best to starve her of any information at all... she is a abusive women..

She is fishing for dirt on me, through a long time ex..


Best to give her nothing but silence? We don't rise to her level.. just totally ignore her, like she does not exist anymore!!

I hate myself for getting involved with this scum bag!

 

[soulforge]

The crazy thing is...

It was me who dumped her.. but when she contacted my long time ex, she said she ended it with me lol
Wtf

 

[soulforge]

Just to clarify.. The reason why she never met my family is because.. they did not want to meet her..

They knew her behaviour towards me was not good.. they knew about the drama she was causing in my life..

They knew she was bad for me.. so why take her to meet my family.. when i knew the relationship will fail...

 

[Glassguy]

Then why are you still posting about her? Think about that. No good will come from ever contacting her or responding to her games. Don't try to justify any reasoning because there isn't any.

Block, stay NC, let her look like the crazy b!tches she is and don't worry about it.

Go spin more plates

 

[9Volt]

Just to clarify.. The reason why she never met my family is because.. they did not want to meet her..

They knew her behaviour towards me was not good.. they knew about the drama she was causing in my life..

They knew she was bad for me.. so why take her to meet my family.. when i knew the relationship will fail...

Are you looking for any reason to contact her again? As in any comment by a poster that you can twist in your mind and use to justify contacting this chick again because YOU want to?

 

[BeExcellent]

Stay No Contact.

Do not give her the satisfaction & ego boost of letting her know it bothered you.

This is a desperation move on her part. Do not validate it with a response (which is what she most wants).

 

[soulforge]

Are you looking for any reason to contact her again? As in any comment by a poster that you can twist in your mind and use to justify contacting this chick again because YOU want to?

No man... i just want to erase this girl out of my life forever.. this is one very toxic person, and a bit of a bar hore now i have discovered.. i just want complete NC from her.. i have even changed my mobile number

 

[soulforge]

Then why are you still posting about her? Think about that. No good will come from ever contacting her or responding to her games. Don't try to justify any reasoning because there isn't any.

Block, stay NC, let her look like the crazy b!tches she is and don't worry about it.

Go spin more plates

I dont intend to break NC but it is worrying me and making me angry that she went through my private chit and is contacting people in my life..

 

[soulforge]

Stop thinking about her. Who cares who broke up with who? STAY STRICT NO CONTACT.

Don't let her pull you back into her toxic drama. She's bored and wants her little plaything back, don't give her that satisfaction. Remember what we talked about in that last thread on toxic women? They crave attention, they need supply.. whether positive or negative. Don't give her that boost.

This is such a desperate and pathetic move by her man!

 

[sazc]

If you give the situation NO energy, it will all die quicker. She will get bored with the lack of attention and move on to find drama elsewhere.

 

[soulforge]

If you give the situation NO energy, it will all die quicker. She will get bored with the lack of attention and move on to find drama elsewhere.

Why is she doing this chit? We are are over!

 

[Billtx49]

Why is she doing this chit? We are are over!

It's irrational behavior on steroids.
You cant make Any sense out of a disordered woman's actions, so it's better not to waist your brainpower by trying. It will only continue to keep you in the mental fog that dealing with a cluster B produces in your mind. Count the number of times you asked yourself -Why? - since you have known her.

You have to force yourself to mentally detach from her and her actions. An IDGAF attitude helps. Hardcore NC is mandatory after a lengthy encounter with any disordered woman to keep your sanity.

 

[sazc]

Why is she doing this chit? We are are over!

Who knows. It's childish and immature. She could write you a letter of she really wanted to talk to you.

She will stop, once she realizes she's not getting attention from you/doing it

 

[soulforge]

Who knows. It's childish and immature. She could write you a letter of she really wanted to talk to you.

She will stop, once she realizes she's not getting attention from you/doing it

In the message to my previous ex.. she said, she will not be contacting me again..

So i doubt she will be sending me letters... in her eyes I AM THE BAD GUY who treated her like crap..

I dont get it.. maybe she is a Narc.. I,m staying NC but i must admit this has disturbed me

 

[soulforge]

It's irrational behavior on steroids.
You cant make Any sense out of a disordered woman's actions, so it's better not to waist your brainpower by trying. It will only continue to keep you in the mental fog that dealing with a cluster B produces in your mind. Count the number of times you asked yourself -Why? - since you have known her.

You have to force yourself to mentally detach from her and her actions. An IDGAF attitude helps. Hardcore NC is mandatory after a lengthy encounter with any disordered woman to keep your sanity.

I hear you man.. all i ever did with her, was ask WHY

I was doing well on the road to healing.. now i feel somewhat side tracked.. also worried about what other ex she will try to contact after this..

2 year relationship.. i'm thinking in another 3 or 4 months i wont give chit about this bich..

 

[soulforge]

I am thinking the ultimate FUK YOU to this woman, would be pure radio silence..

My previous ex has now blocked her on Facebook

 

[sazc]

I'm sure she never thought you would block all access to her. I'm sure she didn't believe her behavior would create this situation, she probably thought you guys would fight about it and then make up.
It's really interesting how some people think they can say and do the ugliest of things in a partnership and the other person will "get over it" or accept it as part of the Dynamics of the relationship. Then, when their ugly finally crates a breaking point, they are beside themselves with confusion....How could this person turn off their love for me so easily?! Did they ever really love me to begin with!? (That's where your integrity question comes from)
We all know that there are people in this world who happily exist in a relationship where fights are nasty and ugly, and these people wake up the next day and "move on" from hurtful scenarios.

All of this, all of my banter, really gets back to the most important thing about relationships - you need to have standards, and you need to stick to them. People don't change, they are who they are and they exist in relationships the way they exist because that is what they know, and are most comfortable with. The moment your partner shows a trait that you know didn't meet your standards, you need to move on.
I've caught myself thinking "oh, as soon as he feels more secure in the relationship he will change that behaviour" and/or thinking it was a one time issue (never is) and/or thinking that if I just communicate with him enough about how I feel about being treated that way, he will change it.
None of that logic has ever worked. People are who they are. Refine your standards as you go, but make sure you clearly understand what behaviour you are looking for in the other person. Do they fight fair? Do they treat you well when they are angry with you? are they loving and giving and compassionate otherwise. Whatever that you are looking for in someone else, make these your standards and accept nothing less.
It's easier to be single and drama free, than fighting your way thru a sh1tstorm all the time.

That's my opinion, at least

 

[soulforge]

I'm sure she never thought you would block all access to her. I'm sure she didn't believe her behavior would create this situation, she probably thought you guys would fight about it and then make up.
It's really interesting how some people think they can say and do the ugliest of things in a partnership and the other person will "get over it" or accept it as part of the Dynamics of the relationship. Then, when their ugly finally crates a breaking point, they are beside themselves with confusion....How could this person turn off their love for me so easily?! Did they ever really love me to begin with!? (That's where your integrity question comes from)
We all know that there are people in this world who happily exist in a relationship where fights are nasty and ugly, and these people wake up the next day and "move on" from hurtful scenarios.

All of this, all of my banter, really gets back to the most important thing about relationships - you need to have standards, and you need to stick to them. People don't change, they are who they are and they exist in relationships the way they exist because that is what they know, and are most comfortable with. The moment your partner shows a trait that you know didn't meet your standards, you need to move on.
I've caught myself thinking "oh, as soon as he feels more secure in the relationship he will change that behaviour" and/or thinking it was a one time issue (never is) and/or thinking that if I just communicate with him enough about how I feel about being treated that way, he will change it.
None of that logic has ever worked. People are who they are. Refine your standards as you go, but make sure you clearly understand what behaviour you are looking for in the other person. Do they fight fair? Do they treat you well when they are angry with you? are they loving and giving and compassionate otherwise. Whatever that you are looking for in someone else, make these your standards and accept nothing less.
It's easier to be single and drama free, than fighting your way thru a sh1tstorm all the time.

That's my opinion, at least

I'm sure she never thought you would block all access to her. I'm sure she didn't believe her behavior would create this situation, she probably thought you guys would fight about it and then make up.
It's really interesting how some people think they can say and do the ugliest of things in a partnership and the other person will "get over it" or accept it as part of the Dynamics of the relationship. Then, when their ugly finally crates a breaking point, they are beside themselves with confusion....How could this person turn off their love for me so easily?! Did they ever really love me to begin with!? (That's where your integrity question comes from)
We all know that there are people in this world who happily exist in a relationship where fights are nasty and ugly, and these people wake up the next day and "move on" from hurtful scenarios.

All of this, all of my banter, really gets back to the most important thing about relationships - you need to have standards, and you need to stick to them. People don't change, they are who they are and they exist in relationships the way they exist because that is what they know, and are most comfortable with. The moment your partner shows a trait that you know didn't meet your standards, you need to move on.
I've caught myself thinking "oh, as soon as he feels more secure in the relationship he will change that behaviour" and/or thinking it was a one time issue (never is) and/or thinking that if I just communicate with him enough about how I feel about being treated that way, he will change it.
None of that logic has ever worked. People are who they are. Refine your standards as you go, but make sure you clearly understand what behaviour you are looking for in the other person. Do they fight fair? Do they treat you well when they are angry with you? are they loving and giving and compassionate otherwise. Whatever that you are looking for in someone else, make these your standards and accept nothing less.
It's easier to be single and drama free, than fighting your way thru a sh1tstorm all the time.

That's my opinion, at least

Yes i believe she was asking my previous ex if I where a person of integrity.. simply because she is probably feeling abandoned.. she is probably wandering who I where as a person, did she really know me?

My guess is.. she is feeling the victim right now.. the one that has been badly done by