Controlling the Ego

[Nn877]

In order to heal, you gotta feel.

Emotions are tools or byproducts of our interactions? The more I go through my journey the more I realize the human mind can and will do what it pleases if you don't consciously stop it. There is you and then there is the mind, ego runs majority of your decision making and reactions. But the ego works only for itself and does not always have the best interest for YOU, regardless of the situation.

When you get dumped what is the first feeling? Hurt? Anger? Given you had at least some investment into the relationship. These are strong emotions and it's being brought to the front of your psyche due to the ego. Now emotions can definitely serve us, ie caring for a loved one, not limited to just a spouse but family as well. No emotions, we would be walking around with no reactions to anything or not giving a fvck about anything.

Once you train the ego, you have mastered the mind in my opinion. But this is not an easy task at all and requires constant work. Eckart Tolle, talks about this in his book, "The Power Of Now." He advocated to watch the emotion as if you were standing on the sidewalk and watching a car drive by. Now to stop yourself inside your head and notice a strong emotion seems very difficult. But he seems to have mastered this. Separating ego and consciousness. What are your guys thoughts on this?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Mastered my ego when I was 16. First started working on it 14. Nowadays if I get egotistic it's because I choose to do so. Such as now for example lol. But it's never overly so. It's only when I let myself get like that though. I think the reason why I was able to do it was because I was still an adolescent at that time. I still am even right now somewhat, though young adult is creeping in more and more. You cannot truly change your personality past puberty. That's why I was able to fix myself. I 100% agree that once you do master this ability (the ability to control your ego at will), you have mastered yourself. And once you have mastered yourself, you are able to master others. It can get almost evil sometimes.

I think a lot of people here just think that I'm just some random kid who hasn't been through enough or hasn't had enough life experience to make judgements about certain things, such as BPDs for example. But truthfully, I just find them petty. I think that these crazies can be dealt with pretty easily and don't see how they can be emotionally destructive towards you. They just test you more often and with the tests being a little harder than the average, but you should not 'hurt' by them if they suddenly leave you. The only thing I agree with on here is that they CAN get mentally exhausting and annoying after a while because of how persistent their tests are. But men have no excuse for getting emotionally hurt by them, unless it's by a very specific type of BPD. But even then they should not become so emotionally distraught to where they cannot function or think properly, that's just pvssy sh!t right there.

Now I believe that the reason for me thinking like this is because I have mastered my ego. The times where I let my ego take over is when I feel I am being constantly disrespected by others and realize that it won't stop unless I dish out something back at them, or if it's because I need to explain something to someone in a way they can understand. Or if it's because I just really like talking about something. But that's the thing, they say that with BPDs they gas you up and make you feel really good to be with them, then they leave. But for me, I feel the same with them as without them. That's why I find it so hard to comprehend how we have a thread nearing 10 pages with guys complaining about women with daddy issues. It's because I can't get gassed up by anyone but myself lol. So if a woman were to leave me, then it doesn't affect my ego at all because I have such a tight control over it.

 

[Nn877]

Valid points, I agree with being able to master others if you can master yourself. Maybe cluster b girls have done this by accident, almost in a way that they control their ego by default of their condition therefore can pull the heart strings of lovers and not be affected by it.

It's probably why girls are attracted to masters of ego, due to them not being easily swayed one direction. Truthfully any girl cluster b or not will lose attraction if the guy is swayed easily and at the mercy of her. But that doesn't mean to be emotionally numb but know that you have to control them in order to control yourself.

I've done a few AFC stuff and I wonder if that's how my brain grew into it's personality? I think the first step is recognizing there's a problem and then fixing it consciously. If you're falling for cluster b there IS something wrong with you.

 

[TheProspect]

Mastered my ego when I was 16.

If you have to tell people you've mastered your ego, you haven't mastered your ego... You dont practice self-regulation and emotional intelligence by "letting" your ego take over when it's convenient for you.

Your 18. That's not a put down. You are very well-informed and introspective for your age.

You'll have a very different perspective of life and who you are when you're 21. It will change again when you're 25, 30, 35, and so on.

Valid points, I agree with being able to master others if you can master yourself. Maybe cluster b girls have done this by accident, almost in a way that they control their ego by default of their condition therefore can pull the heart strings of lovers and not be affected by it.

It's probably why girls are attracted to masters of ego, due to them not being easily swayed one direction. Truthfully any girl cluster b or not will lose attraction if the guy is swayed easily and at the mercy of her. But that doesn't mean to be emotionally numb but know that you have to control them in order to control yourself.

I've done a few AFC stuff and I wonder if that's how my brain grew into it's personality? I think the first step is recognizing there's a problem and then fixing it consciously. If you're falling for cluster b there IS something wrong with you.

Falling for one crazy women and fvcking up your life a bit because of it is nothing to be ashamed about. It's the reason why most of us are here to begin with. Be glad it happened, as it is an invaluable learning experience. Like you said, it's about recognizing a problem and working towards solutions. If a girl fvcks with your head and you end up on this forum you have a rare opportunity to understand how women work and how to manage your interactions with them in the future. Take advantage of it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you have to tell people you've mastered your ego, you haven't mastered your ego... You dont practice self-regulation and emotional intelligence by "letting" your ego take over when it's convenient for you.

Your 18. That's not a put down. You are very well-informed and introspective for your age.

You'll have a very different perspective of life and who you are when you're 21. It will change again when you're 25, 30, 35, and so on.

You practice by observing others and, more importantly, by observing yourself. I have been doing a lot of behavioral adjustment since I was 11. I needed to man up and not let people walk all over me, yet get over myself enough so that I wouldn't be so hyperdefensive all the time and so that I could actually take a joke if people poked fun at me. It was basically anger issues that I learned to resolve myself, more or less. Sometimes people would insult me trying to get me mad (on face value you wouldn't know, but knowing the context of the person and how they are, I would be able to tell it was to provoke me) but I would joke along with them and then everyone would be laughing. By the time I was 16, I had learned how to handle situations to avoid drama or stop it if it was already there. You just need to get out of your own head to be able to take a joke, and you need to be direct and confrontational to end drama. I didn't mean that I had mastered my ego in a way like 'look at me, I did this when I was 16', it was meant more like 'I have done this and agree with the premise of it, here's my experience and why I was able to do it'. Just because I was so young so my personality was still developing, and because I was consciously trying to fix my behavior for years at that point and forcing myself to break certain habits. I basically reprogrammed my brain, one of the hardest things I've ever done. Part of that 'reprogramming' was taking control of my ego. The way I think and behave now vs 16 is almost identical. The only difference is that now I am more willing to let someone have the last word in an argument rather than explain why I do certain things or like certain things. I was more focused and disciplined when I was 16 though. I think that was because I actually had a big group of friends back then. But overall I can't see my mindset and perception changing all that much except in the sense that we tend to gain more knowledge as we age.

 

[wifehunter]

He who trusts his own mind, is a fool.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

He who trusts his own mind, is a fool.

He who trusts the mind of others over his own, is even more foolish.

 

[sazc]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I don't think anyone here negates what you have been through, it's just that we know how much stuff you are in store for

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

He who trusts his own mind, is a fool.

LOL this thread.

One time I was out walking, and I saw this rock. It was different from the other rocks, so I picked it up. Pretty soon this rock started to give me advice. At first, I didn't take it, because, after all, it was a rock. Who the heck trusts a rock to give solid advice? But after a few times that rock was proven correct, I started to follow its advice. I've had that rock for many years, and that rock has never steered me wrong.

Now I never trust my mind, or the mind of others. Only my trusty rock, which I always keep in my pocket.

Upon this rock I have built my life.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I don't think anyone here negates what you have been through, it's just that we know how much stuff you are in store for

I like you. You make me very jolly and jovial sometimes.

LOL this thread.

One time I was out walking, and I saw this rock. It was different from the other rocks, so I picked it up. Pretty soon this rock started to give me advice. At first, I didn't take it, because, after all, it was a rock. Who the heck trusts a rock to give solid advice? But after a few times that rock was proven correct, I started to follow its advice. I've had that rock for many years, and that rock has never steered me wrong.

Now I never trust my mind, or the mind of others. Only my trusty rock, which I always keep in my pocket.

Upon this rock I have built my life.

That's why you're Rasputin.