Gf putting on the weight.

[Rainman4707]

Gf has been putting on a bit weight recently, so I brought it up.

She was very unhappy. She is speaking to me again, but wants an apology.

Any thoughts?

 

[mrRuckus]

Dump her. A woman highly attracted wouldn't disrespect you by gaining weight.

 

[AlexKaiser]

Like gaining weight because she is comfortable and thinks you don't care how big she'll get?

 

[Reykhel]

Gf has been putting on a bit weight recently, so I brought it up.

She was very unhappy. She is speaking to me again, but wants an apology.

Any thoughts?

No apology.

Self amusement: ask her in a playful manner why she thinks you should give her an apology.

Play along......tell her perhaps she should give you an apology for deceiving you......

......different value systems....

This has got to be done in a playful, teasing way..........

Ask her "so you don't want me to be honest with you?" ..........playful, teasing, mocking ..."wow, and I thought our relationship was
built on trust..."

What way did you initially say it to her? You have to remember that with outright direct criticism most people get on the defensive....

 

[Reykhel]

Silent treatment is a significant red flag

Yeah it is.

I'm not sure this warrants the "silent treatment" category though....

He's "hurt her feelings" by his direct criticism, didn't he? She's not exactly going to be jumping for joy and whistling boys will be boys, is she?

She's got over her moment of being upset and is talking to him again. There a difference between being hurt by something, feeling the emotions and moving on from it .......compared to staying in the hurt and using the silent treatment to project your feelings of hurt on to the other person by ignoring them with the intention of hurting them back.....

There's a way of saying things. Communicate covertly with her. Or do it in an oblique way.........

 

[froznie]

I've had that same thing happened to me.

I dated a girl who was very hot and in shape, weighted about 110 pounds and went to the gym 4 times a week, etc.

After about a year of dating, she just stopped exercising and started to eat pizza as often as she used to exercise. I think she gained like 10 pounds a month for half a year or so.

I heard a bunch of anecdotal stories like this.

Women often have this kind of "relationship schedule" that just establishes rules without any input from you and basically says that if you're dating them then that means you got to marry them and have kids with them and buy their dream hours and everything. And, well, since they found their guy, they don't need to be sexy anymore since, well, they got you, so that's it, now marry me and give me everything I want. Now that I have you I can become fat and just stop taking care of myself.

**** that.

 

[Rainman4707]

I do like curvy women. Big boobs. Not really into skinny women.

My girl has a hot body, she's just been letting herself go a bit recently. She's blaiming it on stress. She hasn't put on a lot of weight, just a bit.
I think what worries me is that her mother is quite big. The mother eats when she is stressed.
My concern is that my Gf will end up the same weight as her mother. My friend once said "You've got to look at women, then look at their mothers & think that's what she'll be like in the future". So what my friend was saying is women will end up like their mothers.

In the past my girl has stated that she wants to be in good condition for when she conceives.
So i was at my girls whilst she was getting changed . She is starting to get fatter around the stomach & butt. I said "I thought you were concerned about your weight for getting pregnant?"
So basically I called her fat. I have asked her this question a couple times in the past & she has never took it so personally. I was quite surprised in the past when she hasn't took it personally. Maybe she's quite sensitive recently.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I used to feel bad about doing this, but you should never feel bad about expecting a thin woman.

Like other posters said, a woman that gains weight is disrespecting you. Period. Now, if she was fat and you still pursued her that,s different. But she must know when you enter into a relationship that abnormal weight gain is unacceptable to you.

My current girlfriend could lose about 10-15 pounds, but she's still cute. She's actually lost a few pounds since I got with her. I just got her working out about 2 weeks ago. Some tips:

-Get her interest level to the maximum (she must be in LOVE). Without love, nothing you do or say will matter in this arena. Once this is established, continue with the next few points:

-stop taking her out to dinner. Cook with her at home. Healthy meals. Lots of fruits and vegetables
-Reduce the alcohol consumption
-offer to go to the gym with her. If there is a cheapo gym near her (one of the $10 / month chains), sign up with her.
-Give her positive reinforcement and rewards for going to the gym. Do this every time. Compliment her gym attire. Tell her she's beautiful. Do this only after she works out / eats healthy. She'll do it more often
-Don't call her fat or allude to it. Only positive reinforcement will work.
-Do action dates only until the weight problem is solved. Think of calorie burning dates (trampoline park, sports at the park, roller skating, etc.)

Rinse and repeat.

Attention is always your ace in the hole. Withdraw if she gets back into her pity, complacency, and fat habits.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Don't apologize, she wants to talk so she can bait you into saying something stupid so she can villify you more.

She thinks she's so awesome she can look any way she wants and still keep everything. She thinks she's not doing anything wrong, but you are wrong for wanting a healthy mate. She's going to try to make it all about how superficial you are. But at the same time she's not fat, but your wrong for not wanting a fattie but she's not a fattie. Get it?

Stay the high road and make it about being healthy and being responsible and not being lazy. After all you are just trying to help her.

That's how I approach these discussions at least.

 

[Alvafe]

don't apolize, and make her go to the gym with you the very least she have to do, she complain or resist even that idea, and her weight really is boring you, you know what you should do.


btw pretty sure after he dump her she will get at her sexy weight in less then a week lol

 

[Reyaj]

I used to feel bad about doing this, but you should never feel bad about expecting a thin woman.

Like other posters said, a woman that gains weight is disrespecting you. Period. Now, if she was fat and you still pursued her that,s different. But she must know when you enter into a relationship that abnormal weight gain is unacceptable to you.

My current girlfriend could lose about 10-15 pounds, but she's still cute. She's actually lost a few pounds since I got with her. I just got her working out about 2 weeks ago. Some tips:

-Get her interest level to the maximum (she must be in LOVE). Without love, nothing you do or say will matter in this arena. Once this is established, continue with the next few points:

-stop taking her out to dinner. Cook with her at home. Healthy meals. Lots of fruits and vegetables
-Reduce the alcohol consumption
-offer to go to the gym with her. If there is a cheapo gym near her (one of the $10 / month chains), sign up with her.
-Give her positive reinforcement and rewards for going to the gym. Do this every time. Compliment her gym attire. Tell her she's beautiful. Do this only after she works out / eats healthy. She'll do it more often
-Don't call her fat or allude to it. Only positive reinforcement will work.
-Do action dates only until the weight problem is solved. Think of calorie burning dates (trampoline park, sports at the park, roller skating, etc.)

Rinse and repeat.

Attention is always your ace in the hole. Withdraw if she gets back into her pity, complacency, and fat habits.

Even though you were a dvck on my other thread which I will address in a few mins, you are spot on here my man. Nothing good comes out of telling your girl she is heavy.

Positive reinforcement!

 

[Rainman4707]

I have mentioned it covertly in the past. I told her men don't want a woman who lets herself go, they want a woman who takes pride in her appearance.
Men don't want a woman who sits around eating, growing fat & getting everyone else to do stuff for them.

She was upset on the night I mentioned in OP though, she told her friends what I had said & has since told her mother.

I wont apologise.

 

[speed dawg]

Everybody knows what's attractive and what isn't. It's not rocket science. Has working out and looking better EVER made anyone look/feel worse??

I personally think people are going to be people. You accept them or get out. I'm not going to live my life HOPING that a woman one day realizes she needs to work out and does it. I've been in this situation before with two girls that were cool as can be, but I could not get over the lack of attraction. I had to dump them. The attraction is at the core of the relationship dynamic.

I still have not mastered how to discuss these delicate topics. I am simply too blunt. I would imagine eyebrollin's advice is the best, however, I would not waste my time being exclusive with a woman who didn't take care of themselves on their own. I have a lazy, comfort-loving consuming nature, but yet, I am able to keep myself in shape. If I can, anyone can. It's really not that difficult to do the bare minimum, which is keeping excess weight off and staying fairly mobile and looking like you have a little life in your eyes.

 

[Tenacity]

Gf has been putting on a bit weight recently, so I brought it up.

She was very unhappy. She is speaking to me again, but wants an apology.

Any thoughts?

Lol, this is what usually happens Sir.

And trust me, when a chick decides she wants to be FAT (because understand it's her decision to be fat, if she were uncomfortable being fat then she wouldn't be fat), there's nothing you can do about it. If you ask her to lose weight, she will just say: "Hmph...a REAL man would love me for who I am!" Then she will get an attitude, withhold sex, and put you in the "dog house"....all the while the bytch continues to get FATTER.

This is why women are much better to lease than to buy. When you lease them, the moment they start to depreciate rapidly you can just TRADE her punk a.ss in for a younger, hotter, fresher, slimmer, model.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Reverse psychology. Make her think you like it, and use that as an excuse to call her fat all the time, spun as a compliment.

 

[Tenacity]

Some tips:

-Get her interest level to the maximum (she must be in LOVE). Without love, nothing you do or say will matter in this arena. Once this is established, continue with the next few points:

-stop taking her out to dinner. Cook with her at home. Healthy meals. Lots of fruits and vegetables
-Reduce the alcohol consumption
-offer to go to the gym with her. If there is a cheapo gym near her (one of the $10 / month chains), sign up with her.
-Give her positive reinforcement and rewards for going to the gym. Do this every time. Compliment her gym attire. Tell her she's beautiful. Do this only after she works out / eats healthy. She'll do it more often
-Don't call her fat or allude to it. Only positive reinforcement will work.
-Do action dates only until the weight problem is solved. Think of calorie burning dates (trampoline park, sports at the park, roller skating, etc.)

Rinse and repeat.

These are good tips bro lol, but the reality is that if a woman wants to LOSE weight.....SHE will lose weight.
Bytches who claim they need "motivation" or to be "inspired", are the ones who DON'T want to lose weight. It will be like pulling out an elephant's tooth.

- She just doesn't want to admit to you that she's lazy, doesn't want to eat right, and likes to do as little EXERCISE as possible while also eating whatever the fvck she wants to eat.

- So instead, she says the politically correct shyt about how she "has a gym membership but doesn't use it", or "just needs someone to give her a little boost of motivation". Bytch please.

If you like FAT bytches, date fat bytches. If you don't like fat bytches, don't date them. But do NOT do this shyt to where you are going to get with a chick and try to "fix her". That shyt doesn't work and all you will do is drive yourself crazy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I still have not mastered how to discuss these delicate topics. I am simply too blunt. I would imagine eyebrollin's advice is the best, however, I would not waste my time being exclusive with a woman who didn't take care of themselves on their own. I have a lazy, comfort-loving consuming nature, but yet, I am able to keep myself in shape. If I can, anyone can. It's really not that difficult to do the bare minimum, which is keeping excess weight off and staying fairly mobile and looking like you have a little life in your eyes.

I definitely agree 100%. I don't think it's possible or worth the time too find an overweight chick and get her to work.

But take the girl you're otherwise attracted to (as in an HB6 that could lose up to 20 lbs like most American women) who's a great gal, worships you, and shows a passing interest in losing weight.. she's ripe. Knock that weight off and shes an 8. You're already ****ing her so why not?

Also, a lot of women who didn't grow up in an athletic environment simply don't know how to work out. That's why they spend so much time in classes rather than on their own.

The athletic hot chicks (HB9s and HB10s) are usually ****ty in other areas, save for the rare ones that grew up either fat or ugly.

 

[BeExcellent]

I used to feel bad about doing this, but you should never feel bad about expecting a thin woman.

Like other posters said, a woman that gains weight is disrespecting you. Period. Now, if she was fat and you still pursued her that,s different. But she must know when you enter into a relationship that abnormal weight gain is unacceptable to you.

My current girlfriend could lose about 10-15 pounds, but she's still cute. She's actually lost a few pounds since I got with her. I just got her working out about 2 weeks ago. Some tips:

-Get her interest level to the maximum (she must be in LOVE). Without love, nothing you do or say will matter in this arena. Once this is established, continue with the next few points:

-stop taking her out to dinner. Cook with her at home. Healthy meals. Lots of fruits and vegetables
-Reduce the alcohol consumption
-offer to go to the gym with her. If there is a cheapo gym near her (one of the $10 / month chains), sign up with her.
-Give her positive reinforcement and rewards for going to the gym. Do this every time. Compliment her gym attire. Tell her she's beautiful. Do this only after she works out / eats healthy. She'll do it more often
-Don't call her fat or allude to it. Only positive reinforcement will work.
-Do action dates only until the weight problem is solved. Think of calorie burning dates (trampoline park, sports at the park, roller skating, etc.)

Rinse and repeat.

Attention is always your ace in the hole. Withdraw if she gets back into her pity, complacency, and fat habits.

Gold ^^^^^ right there.

It has to be a priority to her. At my age people are amazed I've had 3 children & still have a body like a co-Ed.

But it's a choice. I love desert & sweets too. But guess what? Choosing desert is choosing to gain weight. It only gets harder as a woman has babies & gets older because the metabolism slows way down.

I might eat 1 light meal a day. Or I'll gain weight. Otherwise I graze & never eat breads or pastas. Mostly fish & vegetables.

I told my ex husband (who gained about 40 lbs.) at one point that the belly was a turn off. That it took away from my ability to fully enjoy him. It was a delicate conversation to be sure.

He's since lost the weight and looks better & feels much better about himself.

I work hard & make choices to keep thin & in shape. I won't date out of shape men. I don't apologize for that requirement & neither should you.

Don't ever put up with something you find troubling. Weight doesn't come on in big increments, rather it creeps. You don't gain 20 lbs. overnight.

Weigh yourself every day and write it down. Perhaps she will pick up that habit too.

 

[EyeBRollin]

don't apolize, and make her go to the gym with you the very least she have to do, she complain or resist even that idea, and her weight really is boring you, you know what you should do.

You can't make people do anything. She has to think working out is her idea. How do we do this?

You make yourself less available. Instead of seeing her three times a week, you're suddenly so busy with work you only can see her once a week. So she has to see you on a day you're already going to the gym. She'll whine, but if she wants to see you badly enough she'll join you.

Raise her interest level to the max. If she loves you enough, she'll rob a bank for you.

 

[Alvafe]

You can't make people do anything. She has to think working out is her idea. How do we do this?

You make yourself less available. Instead of seeing her three times a week, you're suddenly so busy with work you only can see her once a week. So she has to see you on a day you're already going to the gym. She'll whine, but if she wants to see you badly enough she'll join you.

Raise her interest level to the max. If she loves you enough, she'll rob a bank for you.

so you are saying you can make her rob a bank if she likes you enough? not that diferent from what I said huh?