Epic blowout with bpd/npd girl

[bigneil]

She's not random I knew her before the bpd...she was always my backup if and when the bpd fell thru...i would talk to her still while (I) was with the bpd

Now OP sounds like he has BPD.

How would SS members react if another member described dating a girl who kept a backup man this way?

 

[Lvdegen]

The relationship with the bpd was intense and I knew the chances of it lasting were not great so I decided to keep a backup...i don't understand the problem with that

 

[bigneil]

On SS, BPD means girl you like who doesn't like you.

My girl actually was diagnosed with BPD but she is great to me. Blame yourself if she doesn't want to have sex anymore.

A lot of men seem to think that if they get a girl to have sex that she should be morally obligated to only have sex with him forever or she is a ho.

 

[Lvdegen]

On SS, BPD means girl you like who doesn't like you.

My girl actually was diagnosed with BPD but she is great to me. Blame yourself if she doesn't want to have sex anymore.

A lot of men seem to think that if they get a girl to have sex that she should be morally obligated to only have sex with him forever or she is a ho.

Think you mean your girl has bipolar disorder. Because borderlines are way too unstable and are selfish

 

[Infern0]

On SS, BPD means girl you like who doesn't like you.

My girl actually was diagnosed with BPD but she is great to me. Blame yourself if she doesn't want to have sex anymore.

A lot of men seem to think that if they get a girl to have sex that she should be morally obligated to only have sex with him forever or she is a ho.

@BlueAlpha1

 

[bigneil]

Think you mean your girl has bipolar disorder. Because borderlines are way too unstable and are selfish

She specifically said "It's interesting you would mention narcissism because I was diagnosed twice with a similar condition to NPD called Borderline Personality Disorder" and I said "You don't have BPD, but I promise that if you ever decide you don't like me anymore, I won't say it's because you have a personality disorder".

I don't trust "clinical diagnoses" from Big Pharma and more than from SS.

 

[Infern0]

She specifically said "It's interesting you would mention narcissism because I was diagnosed twice with a similar condition to NPD called Borderline Personality Disorder" and I said "You don't have BPD, but I promise that if you ever decide you don't like me anymore, I won't say it's because you have a personality disorder".

I don't trust "clinical diagnoses" from Big Pharma and more than from SS.

I can pretty much promise you that you aren't dating a full blown BPD

no matter how "alpha" you are or how strong your "frame" is, you cannot "cure" a personality disorder with your alphaness.

BPD's cannot hold a job, are unstable, can't keep friends, cut themselves, steal, cheat, lie, rage, fall into depression, have eating disorders, hear voices in their heads, have panic attacks, go to the hospital in fits of hypochondria, think the devil is following them around etc etc etc

Their core identity is VICTIM. so they will constantly victimize themselves and tell you about how everyone is so mean to them. EVEN IF they are "happy" with you, they will constantly be at war with SOMEONE. They have to be, BPD's don't do happy relationships, their default setting is chaos and drama, they HATE being happy. If they meet some "super alpha" dude who is the man of their dreams, after a while the disorder overrides their brain and they compulsively ruin it. You can keep them chasing you for a while, but not permanently.

They will inexplicably **** it up with you and a week later be dating a broke, ugly Beta and you will be left thinking wtf.

Yeah i can see how a really alpha dude may last longer and may even slightly improve the BPD's behaviour by being a strong role model, hell i'll even conceed a POSSIBILITY that she won't aim any of her unhealthy behaviours at him.

But in the end the biggest alpha in the world is going to see his BPD doing and saying bizzare **** and eventually say "well, i'm outta here then" and just leave.

The sweetheart who you have fully under control is NOT BPD from your description, not even close.

They are untamable, they are way too far gone for that, the damage was done to them decades before you met them and isn't fixable.

I repeat

they are UNTAMABLE

 

[MrOctober]

I can pretty much promise you that you aren't dating a full blown BPD

no matter how "alpha" you are or how strong your "frame" is, you cannot "cure" a personality disorder with your alphaness.

BPD's cannot hold a job, are unstable, can't keep friends, cut themselves, steal, cheat, lie, rage, fall into depression, have eating disorders, hear voices in their heads, have panic attacks, go to the hospital in fits of hypochondria, think the devil is following them around etc etc etc

Their core identity is VICTIM. so they will constantly victimize themselves and tell you about how everyone is so mean to them. EVEN IF they are "happy" with you, they will constantly be at war with SOMEONE. They have to be, BPD's don't do happy relationships, their default setting is chaos and drama, they HATE being happy. If they meet some "super alpha" dude who is the man of their dreams, after a while the disorder overrides their brain and they compulsively ruin it. You can keep them chasing you for a while, but not permanently.

They will inexplicably **** it up with you and a week later be dating a broke, ugly Beta and you will be left thinking wtf.

Yeah i can see how a really alpha dude may last longer and may even slightly improve the BPD's behaviour by being a strong role model, hell i'll even conceed a POSSIBILITY that she won't aim any of her unhealthy behaviours at him.

But in the end the biggest alpha in the world is going to see his BPD doing and saying bizzare **** and eventually say "well, i'm outta here then" and just leave.

The sweetheart who you have fully under control is NOT BPD from your description, not even close.

They are untamable, they are way too far gone for that, the damage was done to them decades before you met them and isn't fixable.

I repeat

they are UNTAMABLE

Untamable. I agree.

Though some can hold a job, and do it well. Have everything on the surface normal. But once your idealized you see it. the roller coaster begins. The evolution of the relationship with mine is still a mystery yet to be solved.

I also agree everyone here says bpd etc etc. trust me you'd know. It's not a wham bam she's gone. There's a harsh process that takes effect.


OP You won't win with her. Trust me.

 

[Infern0]

Untamable. I agree.

Though some can hold a job, and do it well. Have everything on the surface normal. But once your idealized you see it. the roller coaster begins. The evolution of the relationship with mine is still a mystery yet to be solved.

I also agree everyone here says bpd etc etc. trust me you'd know. It's not a wham bam she's gone. There's a harsh process that takes effect.


OP You won't win with her. Trust me.

Mine was on the lower functioning side so that may be the job part. Everything I said i experienced though. I could tell "something" was off from the first time i met her, but I heard she had depression and i was ignorant enough to think that just meant she needed someone to cheer her up haha.

She was a total babe, looked like Lizzy Caplan in true blood.

But yup, as soon as I was idealized, the descent into total madness began.

And Now, 18 months on, my life is very different, but hers...

Last I heard she was pregnant to some AFC dude.

NOBODY wins the BPD game, they don't win, you dont win, nobody wins. It's not worth playing outside of a quick one, but even that's probably more risk than it's worth.

 

[Lvdegen]

Maybe I should drop the bomb.... shes a transsexual porn star just to throw a monkey wrench in...very good looking and totally passable guys were going goo ga ga over her..she is in fact bpd with all the symptoms daddy issues depression pill abuse anxiety you name it..trans are basically a catty flaming gay dude mixed in with a super b1 tch girl. But they do keep things exciting..i had real feelings for her and she claimed she had real feelings for me...when the discard came I wasn't in shock because I know trans have low self esteem are narcs and constantly need to be reassured....and if you rub them badly they will get vicious to no end. But thought I would like to throw all this in at this point lol.

 

[WitnessGR]

Maybe I should drop the bomb.... shes a transsexual porn star just to throw a monkey wrench in...very good looking and totally passable guys were going goo ga ga over her..she is in fact bpd with all the symptoms daddy issues depression pill abuse anxiety you name it..trans are basically a catty flaming gay dude mixed in with a super b1 tch girl. But they do keep things exciting..i had real feelings for her and she claimed she had real feelings for me...when the discard came I wasn't in shock because I know trans have low self esteem are narcs and constantly need to be reassured....and if you rub them badly they will get vicious to no end. But thought I would like to throw all this in at this point lol.

Me: