POF LTR Material

[Reyaj]

So I actually met a girl off POF last Friday who appears to actually have her **** together... But its to the point where she is a square! She is 29, a grade school teacher, owns her own house, doesn't drink much and goes to sleep by 9:30pm almost every night. She is also very attractive...

We talked on the phone once for 15 mins before meeting, then I texted her the next day saying it was nice talking to her and then made plans to meet. She had told me the only other guy she met from online was all about going out and drinking and she said she wasn't with that... she said maybe if she was in college or something blah blah blah So I said let's get coffee and she agreed.

Anyway long story short, we met, she ended up getting a soup and I got a coffee. We sat down and talked, even though I was a bit intimidated by her looks I held it together and we both maintained good eye contact as we sat at a table talking. I smiled a lot and at times held my stare a little longer than I should, I then looked at her lips one time (I guess trinangular gasing they call it) but I continued to liste to her and talk. Finally the place cleared out, she said we were the only ones left which was true. I said we could going, so we did, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug.

Now if I were single I'd probably wait to contact this girl.. but I was wtf.... who cares.. let me just AFC this crap I got nothing to lose. So I texted her she had very pretty eyes.. She responded back saying aw thanks and it was a pleasure meeting me.

I texted her tonight asking her what her schedule was this week, and she said the same as last week (she works a lot during the week). I told her I'd like to see her but I'd be going away on the weekend and could one night this week. She said Thursday would be best for her but could be flexibile. I said Thursday worked, she asked where should we meet? I told her let me think about it, but I could be traditional and pick her up. She said what a gentleman, I would love that.

So I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do with this girl.. she doesn't seem to drink and that's what I like doing best.. I'll probably have to buy her food or something... If I can pick her up at least I have the isolation to go for a kiss but I get the sense she is prude and might reject my advances...

Anyway the biggest thing I'm getting out of this is that I didn't wait days to contact her, I sent her an AFC line after the end of our first date and I now have a follow up date. Yawn..... Waiting for the shivt talkers lol

 

[Roober]

Sounds good so far. Just don't give off the friend vibe. Try to escalate so e more. And do t act any different than you would with an ugly chick.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She sounds boring to me, but you seem to be into that.

 

[Reyaj]

Sounds good so far. Just don't give off the friend vibe. Try to escalate so e more. And do t act any different than you would with an ugly chick.

That's the problem.. I find when I naturally hold a girl in high regard I start reverting to AFC thoughts... Like because she seems so proper and prude my thoughts are like I would offend her or turn her off If I start kinoing or whatever.. but I need to reason over this crap because this is how I thought as an AFC.. I really have nothing to lose. But even if I get past that thought process it's hard to get the logistics to pull a move like that.. I like sitting at a bar with a girl and having drinks, having a dinner with a table between us makes it hard...

Take her for Korean noodles (or ramen/pho) won't be more than $20-$30 then maybe grab some warm sake (will prob be a novelty for her) then go for a walk, sweet talk her, and go in for the kiss/makeout/bang.

Not a bad idea but the weather has been cold lately so I don't know how conducive it will be for a walk. There also isn't any korean spots in my area, there is a pho place but it's not in an area I could walk in. What about sushi? She is like a borderline vegetarian.. like wtf lol Cuts down the options.

I am thinking I'm going to see if she drinks wine and see if we could go to a place she can get a glass (I'm sure that would be the max she'd drink) and some food there.

She sounds boring to me, but you seem to be into that.

Nah I agree man, like I said she seems like a square. She is very pretty though... and really seems to be LTR material except that I am already in an LTR! So really I should just try to make a move on this girl and see if I can get anything going, and just next as I don't want to invest the steps in another LTR. But then there are the small thoughts that think I should try to still evaluate other girls for LTRs... but this is dangerous territory. Contrary to what it might sound like, I am overall happy in my relationship, I just have mental issues where I seek out other women to hook up with and get off on the validation when they reciprocate my feelings.

 

[Roober]

@Reyaj

Look at it this way... if you got this hot chick to go out with you, you can get other women of the same attractiveness to do the same. What does this mean? That she is no better than any other woman, she just happens to be the main course at this time.

 

[Reyaj]

@Reyaj

Look at it this way... if you got this hot chick to go out with you, you can get other women of the same attractiveness to do the same. What does this mean? That she is no better than any other woman, she just happens to be the main course at this time.

This is true, I think its cause I see her as being reserved I tend to feel my advances wouldn't be welcomed. We are going out tonight though so we'll see.. I ended up texting her the other day saying "I know you aren't into binge drinking but how do you feel about wine" She said she isn't against drinking just doesn't drink in mass quantities. I told her we could go to this place that is known for their beer and liquor but also has food so we could get dinner and apps. She said she used to waitress there in college and thought it was a good idea.

So I am going to pick her up, last time I gave her a hug.. I wonder if I will be brazen to kiss her on the cheek... I also feel she expects we are going to get a table. I like sitting at a bar with a girl so I can kino... Let's see if I can make something happen. Stay tuned.

And part of me actually doesn't even want to waste my time.. but she is hot so I will lol

 

[Reyaj]

Ok field report from the date.

She texted me her address an hour or so before we were going to meet and asked if we could meet 15 minutes earlier since she got home earlier. I didn't feel like rushing so I texted her like a half hour later saying I was leaving in a few and would be there around 20 after. She texted back a little while later saying that was perfect cause she had to walk her dog.

So I drove over there and I see her walking her dog, I pull up near her and say hi, she said her house is at the end of the block, she would be there in a minute. So I pull down the road and wait for her to get home and put her dog away. So she gets in my car and puts her seat belt on and looks straight, I go in and kiss her on the cheek. She is cool with it. We drive to this bar restaurant place which is about a mile from her right up the road. I wanted to sit at the bar for better kino logistics but there were no empty seats, so we had sit at another table across from each other.

So she mostly talked about her job and stuff, I listened, we both smiled and laughed a lot and made good eye contact. The only weird part was she caught me starring at her a little longer than I should and she seemed kind of shy and looked away. But it was good, she had a glass of wine, I had a beer and we split an appetizer. I asked her if her hair was real and I touched it.. I also asked her about her finger nails i saw painted and a bracelet she had one. I touched both.. but that was the only kino I could get in with the damn table between us. She told me she is a devout Catholic but her parents are both divorced and remarried, and she doesn't have a close relationship to her father but she does to her mother.... Does that qualify as daddy issues? She seems like she turned out pretty well.... She doesn't eat a lot of red meat and barely eats though... ok whatever I'm rambling now.

So anyway I pay the bill, she says thanks and we walk out to my car. I was thinking of opening the passenger door for her but it was a narrow space with the car next to mine so I was like whatever. I am thinking in my head that I am going to try and kiss her. So when I get near her house I see someone walking their dog right in front of it and they are stopped. I am pissed because I know it might be awkward to kiss in front of someone she might know. But I end up pulling a little in front of her house on the other side of the street.

So I think I said something like it was nice seeing her or something and I look at her and she puts her cheek out immediately... so I go in and kiss it. At this moment all the AFC memories of past girls I've gone out with start rushing through my head.. how i never went for the kiss... So I don't know what came over me but I just went in to kiss her and we did.. We kissed for a few seconds and she threw some very slight tongue in there but then she started giggling...

I pull back and said what... She's like I'm just nervous... i don't mean it in a bad way, I just haven't been on a date in a while (I'm confused.. but whatever) Now again my AFC thoughts start creeping up and wanted to say some **** like I'm sorry for kissing you or some bs but I held back and I said "it's ok... I'll just kiss you on the cheek" She said "ok" So I kissed her on the cheek and then I moved in for her lips again and started kissing her. I started rubbing my hand through her hair and on the back of her neck as I did. She was letting me do it but wasn't really kissing me back hardcore or anything (like the POF Milf who's pvssy smelled for example) I stopped and said 'hopefully I see you when I get back' She just said 'ok' she then tried to get out of the car but it was locked so I opened it for her and she left.

So I don't really know what to think here... so weird... I am going to be in Europe all of next week. I don't know if I should text her tomorrow or just not even care. To be honest I think this girl may be a waste of time, but she lives pretty close and she is attractive so if I could tap it I would... but who the F knows...

 

[Reykhel]

You met her last Friday and already you say "ltr material". Wow.

POF girls aren't getting laid in normal life. There's always a "why"

Slow down tiger. No girl should be labeled "ltr material" until they've proven it over
a period of time.

Anyway, it sounds like a lack of compatibility. You like to drink (what you like to do most in fact) and
she doesn't.

So unless your willing to change to mould yourself into her expectations or vise versa.........(that's not a suggestion, by the way)

 

[Reyaj]

You met her last Friday and already you say "ltr material". Wow.

POF girls aren't getting laid in normal life. There's always a "why"

Slow down tiger. No girl should be labeled "ltr material" until they've proven it over
a period of time.

Anyway, it sounds like a lack of compatibility. You like to drink (what you like to do most in fact) and
she doesn't.

So unless your willing to change to mould yourself into her expectations or vise versa.........(that's not a suggestion, by the way)

I don't mean LTR material as far as that's what I'm looking for. I just meant it as far as her surface characteristics, especially in contrast to the other POF girls I recently wrote about. I am in an LTR anyway so that was not my goal.

A couple of other things I forgot to mention in my post.. she said she hopes her kids have blue eyes like her... I have brown eyes so I told her what the hell lol. I find it interesting she prefers blue eyes yet would be interested in someone with brown eyes.

I basically had it my head I wasn't going to follow up with this girl but she texted me last night saying to enjoy my trip, I responded back saying thanks and that I was still packing. I guess the fact that she texted me is an indicator of interest. I wouldn't mind hooking up with this girl but if I don't want to jump through hoops either.

If I reach out to her again any ideas on what I should suggest we do?

 

[Reyaj]

Just an update.. while I was out of the country she actually texted me on St Patrick's day to say Happy St Patricks day and hope my trip was going well. I texted her on Sunday when I got back, I slept most of the day so my responses weren't timely. Then Monday after we traded some generic hows your day bs I told her I'd like to see her and she said the same.

I couldn't really think of anything to do, so I suggested I could pick her up and we could take a drive and talk and even grab ice cream even if it was for a few mins (she has a test for her job tomorrow). She said I could call her or even come to her house if I wanted to meet her dog... So obviously I ended up going over there. When I got there she gave me a little one arm hug and just say on her couch, I took it upon myself to sit in the spot next to her when she took her coat off.

At her place we just hung out in her living room, her dog was jumping all over us, kind of annoying actually. I probably was there 1 hour then I said I would be going, she actually picked up her dog and used him kind of a shield and then said she was sorry about the last time and the kiss reaction and that she just wants to take things slow. I found this odd and I said ok that's fine, and then I left and wished her good luck on her test. I actually was going to try and kiss her again but she had that stupid dog in her arm (I think she did it on purpose).

This girl actually had a small tattoo... that was the only surprising thing about this square... but I don't know if she lost interest in me tonight or is just prude or whatever... but I am not feeling this. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Paul_FR]

I have a small question....I recall reading above that you are already in an Ltr? Do you have any issues with that relationship? How come you are so free and don't make your current Ltr girl suspicious?

Just curious, I've just done the same thing and went from one ltr into a new one at the same time...

This new girl seems very cautious (unsure?) and is taking things ever so slowly but at the same time, her interest levels are up and is regularly contacting you and not showing that many red flags.

However, don't get into a relationship where it looks as if you're going to have to change yourself and adapt to her way of living, because you'll be ever so unhappy.

You need to talk to her fast about where she thinks your relationship is heading because you might be wasting valuable time especially as it looks like you'll get into bed with her in 6 months time and the dog will still be in between you...

 

[Roober]

My two cents... you should cut off your LTR if your dating other women, unless it is an open relationship for the both of you

 

[Atom Smasher]

"You have pretty eyes"...

You have sinned greatly in the eyes of Atom Smasher and I demand that you make amends for your own good.

With an attractive girl, you never, EVER want to tell her this or that is pretty or that she is pretty. This will ALWAYS work against you. It's one of the worst things you can do.

First of all, you're showing your hand way too early. If she knows she has you, it's going to go nowhere. She wants to work for your attraction and guess and be unsure. I know this doesn't make sense to us men, but women thrive on this drama. Why would she go to a movie if she already knows the ending? She wants surprise and drama and mystery.

Secondly, when you tell a girl like this she's pretty, her inner reaction is "Ho Hum... tell me something I don't know". She KNOWs she is pretty. She hears it all the time. Telling her you are impressed with her looks lumps you in with all those other non-entities. The LAST thing she wants to hear is comments about her looks. This devalues you.

It is far better to make a comment about her character. THAT is what will get her juices flowing.

I know this seems completely counter-intuitive, and it is indeed for men. But she wants mystery and she wants to work.

Oh, I almost forgot... Thirdly, never kiss her on the cheek. I forbid you!!

In all seriousness, a kiss on the cheek is the kiss of death. You must insist on mouth only. Her offering her cheek is an accommodation to you. She is accommodating you in a polite way. You don't need to verbalize this, but you need to nonverbally convey it. The cheek should be off limits to every man.

I guarantee she already knows you're hung up about kissing and thinking about it and second-guessing yourself. She's been cutting you a lot of slack but that won't last forever. Her putting the dog between you both was a bad sign.

The only way to salvage this is to back off, get kissing out of your head right now, and ramp up the mystery. Make it seem like you're suddenly not so impressed by her, in a subtle way.

She already knows she has a lot of power over you because you've made it abundantly clear by showing your hand.

For the love of God, never tell her she's pretty again unless it's a very special occasion. You must appear unfazed by her beauty. She will lose interest unless you simmer down and play it cool.

Focus on her personality and make an occasional comment about one aspect of it, in a half-interested way, with an air of surprise that Hmm... maybe there's more to her than you initially thought. In other words, you should be judging her, and she should know that. You are evaluating her suitability in your life.

When I used to hear this stuff, I used to be skeptical. But experience has taught me that I can take it to the bank.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

That girl just seems lame. I hate women like this because you have to go through multiple dates and play multiple games just to bang. By the time you bang she is already in love with you and it's hard to get rid of her.

She seems like a good person for someone who is patient and wants to get married but for someone who just wants to fvck... not the best option.

 

[SuckItUp]

Reyaj,

One thing you are doing is making assumptions about her based on the image she is portraying. She may come off as religious, pious, and shy, but that may be a social mask and she's actually a sex freak.

The tattoo you found suggests that she needs you to unlock her desire and that requires being brash and testing her boundaries.

 

[sazc]

yes, reyaj is in an LTR with another female, and he is dating around. He's the one who posted that thread about how 'my GF just hng up on me, what do I do?"

LOL, she hung up on him because she thinks he is lying about seeing other females.......

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm not a moral judge so I don't care that you are in an LTR. Your game is straight cringe worthy and that is what this forum is about.

Now if I were single I'd probably wait to contact this girl.. but I was wtf.... who cares.. let me just AFC this crap I got nothing to lose. So I texted her she had very pretty eyes.. She responded back saying aw thanks and it was a pleasure meeting me.

Ok, so you intentionally lowered her interest level because you know you shouldn't be pursuing other women, right?

Anyway the biggest thing I'm getting out of this is that I didn't wait days to contact her, I sent her an AFC line after the end of our first date and I now have a follow up date. Yawn..... Waiting for the shivt talkers lol

Yea, your poor game worked because the subject doesn't have a life (which you already admitted). If she was like most attractive women on POF she would have eaten you alive.

Ok field report from the date.
She texted me her address an hour or so before we were going to meet and asked if we could meet 15 minutes earlier since she got home earlier. I didn't feel like rushing so I texted her like a half hour later saying I was leaving in a few and would be there around 20 after. She texted back a little while later saying that was perfect cause she had to walk her dog.

Too much correspondence. You should have her address when you make the date.

So I drove over there and I see her walking her dog, I pull up near her and say hi, she said her house is at the end of the block, she would be there in a minute. So I pull down the road and wait for her to get home and put her dog away. So she gets in my car and puts her seat belt on and looks straight, I go in and kiss her on the cheek.

So you're dating your grandmother? Kissing on the cheek is gay.

Getting down to the meat of the action...

I pull back and said what... She's like I'm just nervous... i don't mean it in a bad way, I just haven't been on a date in a while (I'm confused.. but whatever) Now again my AFC thoughts start creeping up and wanted to say some **** like I'm sorry for kissing you or some bs but I held back and I said "it's ok... I'll just kiss you on the cheek" She said "ok" So I kissed her on the cheek and then I moved in for her lips again and started kissing her. I started rubbing my hand through her hair and on the back of her neck as I did. She was letting me do it but wasn't really kissing me back hardcore or anything (like the POF Milf who's pvssy smelled for example) I stopped and said 'hopefully I see you when I get back' She just said 'ok' she then tried to get out of the car but it was locked so I opened it for her and she left.

You come off so weak dude. She may be reserved, but she knows your confidence is shaky at best. You won't get more than another date or two with this chick.

So I don't really know what to think here... so weird... I am going to be in Europe all of next week. I don't know if I should text her tomorrow or just not even care. To be honest I think this girl may be a waste of time, but she lives pretty close and she is attractive so if I could tap it I would... but who the F knows...

She's going to next you before vice versa. You're wasting both of yours time. You have a girlfriend and it doesn't seem like your that interested.

 

[Reyaj]

I have a small question....I recall reading above that you are already in an Ltr? Do you have any issues with that relationship? How come you are so free and don't make your current Ltr girl suspicious?

Just curious, I've just done the same thing and went from one ltr into a new one at the same time...

This new girl seems very cautious (unsure?) and is taking things ever so slowly but at the same time, her interest levels are up and is regularly contacting you and not showing that many red flags.

However, don't get into a relationship where it looks as if you're going to have to change yourself and adapt to her way of living, because you'll be ever so unhappy.

You need to talk to her fast about where she thinks your relationship is heading because you might be wasting valuable time especially as it looks like you'll get into bed with her in 6 months time and the dog will still be in between you...

I'm just bored man to be honest. It happens with like every LTR I am with so I know the issue must lie with me. But come on... after banging the same girl for so long and being around here I sort of get bored and there is something about seeking other women that makes me feel alive. I am going to write a whole manifesto about me in a separate thread. Regarding the girl I wrote this thread about, I haven't reached out to her since. Honestly that really turned me off last time, I am definitely not seeking this girl. The only thing I am contemplating is what I should say if she does reach out to me. However I don't expect that to happen.

My two cents... you should cut off your LTR if your dating other women, unless it is an open relationship for the both of you

No its not an open relationship. I want a girl that's just mine and I want to bang other chicks. Am I abnormal?

"You have pretty eyes"...

You have sinned greatly in the eyes of Atom Smasher and I demand that you make amends for your own good.

With an attractive girl, you never, EVER want to tell her this or that is pretty or that she is pretty. This will ALWAYS work against you. It's one of the worst things you can do.

First of all, you're showing your hand way too early. If she knows she has you, it's going to go nowhere. She wants to work for your attraction and guess and be unsure. I know this doesn't make sense to us men, but women thrive on this drama. Why would she go to a movie if she already knows the ending? She wants surprise and drama and mystery.

Secondly, when you tell a girl like this she's pretty, her inner reaction is "Ho Hum... tell me something I don't know". She KNOWs she is pretty. She hears it all the time. Telling her you are impressed with her looks lumps you in with all those other non-entities. The LAST thing she wants to hear is comments about her looks. This devalues you.

It is far better to make a comment about her character. THAT is what will get her juices flowing.

I know this seems completely counter-intuitive, and it is indeed for men. But she wants mystery and she wants to work.

Oh, I almost forgot... Thirdly, never kiss her on the cheek. I forbid you!!

In all seriousness, a kiss on the cheek is the kiss of death. You must insist on mouth only. Her offering her cheek is an accommodation to you. She is accommodating you in a polite way. You don't need to verbalize this, but you need to nonverbally convey it. The cheek should be off limits to every man.

I guarantee she already knows you're hung up about kissing and thinking about it and second-guessing yourself. She's been cutting you a lot of slack but that won't last forever. Her putting the dog between you both was a bad sign.

The only way to salvage this is to back off, get kissing out of your head right now, and ramp up the mystery. Make it seem like you're suddenly not so impressed by her, in a subtle way.

She already knows she has a lot of power over you because you've made it abundantly clear by showing your hand.

For the love of God, never tell her she's pretty again unless it's a very special occasion. You must appear unfazed by her beauty. She will lose interest unless you simmer down and play it cool.

Focus on her personality and make an occasional comment about one aspect of it, in a half-interested way, with an air of surprise that Hmm... maybe there's more to her than you initially thought. In other words, you should be judging her, and she should know that. You are evaluating her suitability in your life.

When I used to hear this stuff, I used to be skeptical. But experience has taught me that I can take it to the bank.

I texted her that she had pretty eyes after meeting her. The reason I did it was because I didn't want to waste any time playing a game of pursuing. I have an LTR so I don't have time to play these coy cat and mouse games that go on for days/weeks. I am also experimenting with all this.... I seem to have failed many times by being too distant so I figured I'd try something AFC since I really had nothing to lose. And you know what... I think it was a good move. I got her out again and kissed her. Now keep in mind I don't shower her with this stuff like an AFC, I sent her that one compliment about her eyes and that was it... I also don't text her constantly or anything like that.

Regarding the kiss on the cheek... I think this is fine to do before you hook up with a girl. Once you hook up with a girl then yes you should always go for the lips. But dude we met for coffee for an hour, and I kissed her on the cheek when I picked her up in my car the 2nd time I saw her. Was I supposed to shake her hand or stick my tongue down her throat? Give me a break... The last girl I met and kissed on the cheek I ended up banging.. actually its worked well for me many times. Again this is in the early onset and it's really a common greeting so I disagree that it's a bad or afc move.

I agree though the last time I saw her was pretty bad. I didn't even kiss her on the cheek that time or anything... I was planning to kiss her but she held her stupid dog in her arm and said she wanted to take things slow. This actually turned me off so I haven't reached out to her since.

That girl just seems lame. I hate women like this because you have to go through multiple dates and play multiple games just to bang. By the time you bang she is already in love with you and it's hard to get rid of her.

She seems like a good person for someone who is patient and wants to get married but for someone who just wants to fvck... not the best option.

Agree. If I were single I might play along, but definitely just turned me off and seems like a waste of time.

Reyaj, pof girls are only good for smash and dash.

It's full of women with mental disorders and daddy issues. If you stick it out with them for longer than a month or two, be prepared to be mentally abused, emotionally clusterfvcked, and all round treated like you aren't even a human being. And that's best case scenario.. Worst case scenario is you will end up fvcking a girl with an STI.

Agree its 90% that way, cause thats mostly what I found. This girl was a new user that just signed up though so she isn't a regular. She doesn't have any baggage like that but she is plain prude and boring. I just can't win can I lol

yes, reyaj is in an LTR with another female, and he is dating around. He's the one who posted that thread about how 'my GF just hng up on me, what do I do?"

LOL, she hung up on him because she thinks he is lying about seeing other females.......

Umm I hung up on her, at least report it right!

Now lets get to EyeBRollin a man who doesn't pull any punches lol

 

[Reyaj]

I'm not a moral judge so I don't care that you are in an LTR. Your game is straight cringe worthy and that is what this forum is about.

This forum is about cringe worthy game?

Ok, so you intentionally lowered her interest level because you know you shouldn't be pursuing other women, right?

No, I intentionally experimented with what many would deem "AFC" lines since their solid game gets them laid non stop.

Yea, your poor game worked because the subject doesn't have a life (which you already admitted). If she was like most attractive women on POF she would have eaten you alive.

Perhaps and that might be what's found in this experiment. Could it be possible that all women are different? Could it be possible that you should try to adapt your game to the subject instead of using your apparent full proof method that has any deviation a sin?


Too much correspondence. You should have her address when you make the date.

What do you mean here? I actually tried to make it seem like I didn't give a shvit enough to store it or was a creeper.

So you're dating your grandmother? Kissing on the cheek is gay.

I kissed her on the cheek the 2nd time I saw her when I picked her up. Again was I supposed to shake her hand or shove my tongue down her throat instead? it's a greeting and I've banged too many girls that I've done the same thing to do so I'm going to go with my experience over your text.

You come off so weak dude. She may be reserved, but she knows your confidence is shaky at best. You won't get more than another date or two with this chick.

I don't want another date with her... I haven't reached out to her at all, what she did/said last time was a major turn off and now I'm focusing on other plates.

She's going to next you before vice versa. You're wasting both of yours time. You have a girlfriend and it doesn't seem like your that interested.

True.

My responses in bold.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Don't you think that "what she did/said" last time was a direct result of your handling of the situation?