Meeting women via mutual Friends on FB

[ThisNThat]

The last woman I dated, I had met through social media outlets. Usually I tend to sometimes contact women on FB if we share the same mutual friends. I did so with this last woman, so obviously she didn't have a problem with it...and actually, it was the fact that we DID know the same people that so inclined her to date me.
I was talking to a regular female friend about her and how we met. And she said that she hates it when guys do that with her friends on her friends list and had asked me not to do it to her friends.

So obviously, I wasn't the ONLY male friend that tried to make nice with her other friends on Facebook, but it's the information age where we're out there, so ...why not?

She said she knows I'm an okay guy and all (because she knows me), but she does not recommend it...that it's creepy. She said you can do what you want, but still...creepy.

I rather argued that I thought the mutual friend thing kind of helped it along, because you at least you know the same people, but just haven't met yet.

I mean, if it worked for me...then yeah...cool, it worked. But it's just an opinion right? Depends on who you ask?

 

[devilkingx2]

depends on the opinion and personality of the girl you message and also how much she likes you

if you know she(whichever girls you message) won't have a problem with it or that she won't make a big deal of it go for it, if you know she can't cause problems in your social circle go for it

if you can't be sure that she(whichever girls you message won't make a fuss and she can cause trouble in your social circle I'd avoid it

 

[HoneyHitter]

Ok, so I recently have had some experience with this.

So far I have managed to keep most girls out of my FB friend list. You can't find any of my ONS through my friend list. The only girls in my friend list are non-attractive girls that share a common interest or my friends' girlfriends. Sometimes I even block chicks before they get the chance to look me up on FB, just to avoid all of this nonsense.

I'm the odd one, that doesn't accept random friend requests. Male or female. That's what fanpages are for. I like to keep my friend list clean.
I've been dabbling in music for a while and the majority of my friend list consists of mostly male musicians/DJ's/singers/rappers. And I know all of them on a personal basis. Almost all of them have at least 1000+ "friends" in their lists. Mostly other musicians, promotors and female orbiters/groupies.

So recently this HB7 I met at a birthday party sent me a message afterwards (she found me through a mutual friend), followed up with a friendship request. We were all touchy-feely at the party but I left it at that because my logistics weren't such that I could strike while the iron was hot and I already had a handful of plates to keep me busy anyway.

So I thought I could make an exception to the rule and accept this chicks' friend request, along with a few other cool people I met at the party.

Lo and behold. Within 12 hours the chick was FB friends with three guys out of my friend list she had never even met before. I don't know who added who, and quite frankly I don't care to know. But this **** is just shady. I don't go through my friends lists looking for chicks, even though they have a lot of video vixen caliber chicks in their lists. I get my own. And you know what, I probably wouldn't even have noticed or cared if it was like two or three months after. If I haven't made a move by that time, that's my own fault. lol

Now I've turned off my friendship activity log, so people don't just jump on every hot chick that adds me on FB. And in case it still happens, I know that I'm either dealing with a thot (major red flag) or a "friend" that actively goes through my friend list looking for chicks. The thing is, most of the guys I hang with know how to get chicks. So if they still have to resort to these kind of shady tactics, it tells me enough about their character.

 

[AttackFormation]

Woman approves = good.
Woman disapproves = creepy/bad.

There is no objectivity, so don't look for it. And don't do or not do what some stupid woman tells you because she said so. You have to decide for yourself if the risk is worth it.

 

[devilkingx2]

Lo and behold. Within 12 hours the chick was FB friends with three guys out of my friend list she had never even met before. I don't know who added who, and quite frankly I don't care to know. But this **** is just shady. I don't go through my friends lists looking for chicks, even though they have a lot of video vixen caliber chicks in their lists. I get my own. And you know what, I probably wouldn't even have noticed or cared if it was like two or three months after. If I haven't made a move by that time, that's my own fault. lol

Now I've turned off my friendship activity log, so people don't just jump on every hot chick that adds me on FB. And in case it still happens, I know that I'm either dealing with a thot (major red flag) or a "friend" that actively goes through my friend list looking for chicks. The thing is, most of the guys I hang with know how to get chicks. So if they still have to resort to these kind of shady tactics, it tells me enough about their character.

so... you got super jealous that other guys might talk to your new girl?

wait until you're actually dating before you start wanting to mark your territory dude

 

[HoneyHitter]

so... you got super jealous that other guys might talk to your new girl?

wait until you're actually dating before you start wanting to mark your territory dude

It's really not a matter of jealousy because I already expect most chicks to be adding people on FB 24/7.

I was just surprised that there are people actually hounding for new prospects using mutual friends as a pivot. I honestly think it's disrespectful, but it seems like FB actually promotes that kind of behavior in order to expand and solidify their user base.

It's actually quite interesting how there's a whole new social dynamic going on with younger generations by means of social media.

What's also interesting is that in the past few years there were some girls that would go NC because I didn't accept their friend requests or told them I don't add random people on FB.

 

[VladPatton]

I can see how it can be creepy if you never met them in real life. If you did, then it's just a social media connection. I'd keep it even simpler, and text only via cell. Always deny you use social media. That shît turns into high school drama real fast.

 

[ThisNThat]

so... you got super jealous that other guys might talk to your new girl?

wait until you're actually dating before you start wanting to mark your territory dude

Yeah, the dude is braggin' about the number of women he's plate spinning with to begin with and calling other dudes who attempt to talk to one of the members of his " Facebook harem" because it's "shady" lol. Too funny.

I recall what he claims happening, some guy I know in real life added a friend I added, too. But I couldn't quite tell if they had been friends already or not. lol. I knew the guy pretty well from real life functions, but I'm not making stink about it.

Funny, Facebook encourages strangers to become friends via the "These are people you may know" listings...which is where some of these ladies pop up right in front of me. I click on them, and Facebook probably determines this via mutual friends or friends of friends.

FB actually promotes that kind of behavior in order to expand and solidify their user base.

So it's the nature of Facebook to encourage this and thusly not shady. It justifies it.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Funny, Facebook encourages strangers to become friends via the "These are people you may know" listings...which is where some of these ladies pop up right in front of me. I click on them, and Facebook probably determines this via mutual friends or friends of friends.

So it's the nature of Facebook to encourage this and thusly not shady. It justifies it.

I use Facebook for its' convenience. I'm glad you're comfortable letting FB dictate how you deal with people, but I'd rather decide that for myself.

Yeah, the dude is braggin' about the number of women he's plate spinning with to begin with and calling other dudes who attempt to talk to one of the members of his " Facebook harem" because it's "shady" lol. Too funny.

If you think that's bragging, you're better off humbling yourself. I have nothing to prove on a discussion board full of strangers. If you can't discuss the topic at hand without projecting your own insecurities you're better of quiet.

 

[ThisNThat]

I use Facebook for its' convenience. I'm glad you're comfortable letting FB dictate how you deal with people, but I'd rather decide that for myself.


If you think that's bragging, you're better off humbling yourself. I have nothing to prove on a discussion board full of strangers. If you can't discuss the topic at hand without projecting your own insecurities you're better of quiet.

Actually, since you're a musician, it would make even more sense for people to be adding you because you're a member of the public eye/entertainment Fans are more than likely to connect with other fans (your other friends) on the FB. Just sayin'.