How to proceed in a relationship with a bpd

[MrAddiction]

Does the BPD give all these compliments (love bomb) because they really mean it or are they consciously setting you up for manipulation?

No need to actually care. Better to see them as evils because everything else will leed to captn save a hoe syndrom and guys deluding themselfes that his little creature just can't help, whatever evil she has just done to him, and he Must forgive her cause, you know, she just can' t help and after all it wasn't intended. Fcuk this!
Who does evil is to be treated as evil. End of the line. Bring joy to my life or fcuk off!

 

[Infern0]

imagine dating a literal vampire. it'll be like that. just pray their love for you outweighs their desire to murder you and feast on your carcass and you'll be good to go.

Percieved need for you, not "love"

BPD's cannot love.

 

[logicallefty]

BPD's, NPD's, Psychopaths etc are not relationship material. If you don't understand how and why they do what they do, you're better off staying away unless you have low value in yourself and don't mind losing your soul in the process. Fvck them and cast them away like road kill. That's all their good for!

Men please listen to this. I got destroyed by one of these between 2008-2012. Then I almost let it happen again with another one between 2012-2014. They live in a different reality than we do. When you are dealing with one, think about compatibility in this way: Your d|ck fits in their v@gina and you are able to impregnate one of them. That's where the compatibility stops. They are a different creature than you otherwise.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You prefer not to, but a BPD does not care. So you are trying to bear her at a game where she is worldchampion and you only middle class. If you are not a full blown sociapath your odds to win this game are more than against you. Do not waste time and Energy and play this game.

No, you do not need to be a full blown sociopath to deal with them. Only partially. If you do not want to feel anything at all whatsoever from when she gets with you to when she leaves you, then you would need to. But to just manage them and not get really hurt from them, no.

 

[MrAddiction]

Your d|ck fits in their v@gina and you are able to impregnate one of them. That's where the compatibility stops.

...and the horror begins...,and never ends and never ends.

 

[DJohn]

I used to be in a relationship with npd and two weeks into our relationship she dropped Lbomb and booked three long-ish hols for us. it is only now i relaise this and other things she did were so much like NPD behaviour. happy to hear opinions on this....

 

[wifehunter]

Don't, unless you hate yourself. Then, go ahead!

BPD = crazies

 

[mikey2012]

You don't. Run

 

[Infern0]

You're not NPD you're codependent. This borderline is going to make mincemeat out of you.

Very few people can handle a BPD for long.. and the ones that do only last long because they are even more broken than their borderline sweetie and only put up with it because of extreme low self esteem, a total lack of options, and a powerfully unbreakable addiction to the highs and lows of their bpd death dance.

Although they arent mutually exclusive, i have to agree.

 

[Billtx49]

The Only time a man is safe being involved with a BPD is in the beginning stages when you are still at an emotional distance from her. Utmost importance to recognize what she is during this phase and eject before you get sucked in.

 

[Lvdegen]

I've been sleeping over every night for the last 1.5 weeks...had sex once and we do kiss etc...ive read bpds get weird about sex and almost don't want it..she told me about how she was uninterested in sex when we first started texting.

Other than that she's constantly depressed and lazy...like she literally wants to take her meds and just sit in her house like a hermit...she has been texting her ex while I was there and we talked about it..but lately she hasn't been texting him...im fine with that because I know she's disordered and probably hedging with me just in case...becauase the other dude literally has nothing on me...im not just saying that but he's literally 110 pounds smokes uneducated and eats fast food...i got a six pack, educated have a mercedes and eat organic all day. She did say the reason why she talked to him because he was her safe place and familiar for her and I'm still new to her...i honestly don't care if she talks to him.

She mentioned to me that she was trying to get him to come visit in about 2 weeks..yea he comes good for her because she knows I destroy that dude on all levels she just is weird..but fine to be around..i have 3 other girls lined up so it doesn't really bug me...she is well aware of and has met the narc I've known for 9 years so I know I have her in my corner to get at her if she wants to bring that 110 lb dude to her place.

She's out there she wants live in boyfriends and to be her slave...she told me she's intimidated by me so she does have some respect for me.

Today I left and we exchanged 2 word texts like 2 or 3 times and that's it..not gonna go over tonight just gonna give her space and chill. The whole situation is just interesting to me..but in reality I don't think she can make mince meat out of me..im too knowlegable and too confrontational for her to f with me like she does with the other dudes...i even laughed at her for the games she was playing on some dude...yea the dude comes we might not talk for a bit but once sh 1 t hits the fan with the dude and he goes back to his state she will be at my doorstep

 

[Lvdegen]

And I view her as a loser for being interested in me so it's fair.

 

[Lvdegen]

Then why are you comparing yourself to her other men like it's relevant?

Her viewing me as a loser has nothing to do with it it's more about filling a void for her and that's all she cares about..i know a full blown ltr can never make it with her but I can see me and her being in and out of each other's lives for a while