How Quick Are You To Drop A Girl?

[ubercat]

Women s emotions do get the better of them pretty regularly. If you're going to have a reasonable ltr you'll have to learn how to deal with that sh1t. So sometimes a couple of minor issues get mixed up in the head and they can't think their way through it they just know they feel bad and of course it's all your fault. You have to be able to identify these periods of dysfunction as being separate from disrespect and s*** tests. Situation 1 means you should listen to her. Situation 2 requires a firm boundary setting and intermediate next if she doesn't straighten up and fly right.

 

[bigneil]

I treat them like my employees, the good one's know to put their best effort forward, especially in the beginning, otherwise they are trash.

I take it one step further. I make them my employees.

Ok, that was a joke.

 

[Roober]

Since I started this journey, I have been a bit more patient with women. Nexting too quickly will sometimes not allow you to learn enough from them. So for me, It depends on a couple things..

1. Timing - if it happens early like first or second date or within first 3 months, I may just next right away, or Sig ificabtly reduce my investment to nil.

2. Severity of the infraction - if she is down right disrespectful (i.e. constant jabs, tries to change anything about me, etc.), it will be a next. I have realized that most of the time women just don't know any better. Talk to them like an adult, tell them what's up and see how they respond. Either they straighten up or gtfo.

3. Has it been discussed before? That is a sign of disrespect that she didn't listen to you the first time.

We all come from different backgrounds and are raised completely different. Sometimes, I think we lose sight of that...

 

[BeExcellent]

after your last LTR do you really want to give any female a second chance?
Here's the thing...if a person is being an a$$ and treating you poorly, the ONLY way I would ever consider giving them a second chance is if I communicated to them "I wont put up with being treated that way" and they didn't try to defend or dismiss my communication. If they seem to understand what I am saying and where I am coming from, and are agreeable, then okay, let's try again.

If you say nothing about how you feel disrespected, the behavior WILL occur again - if only because you appeared to have put up with it before, so there's 'nothing wrong' as far as the other person knows.

This is why it is very important for all you DJ's looking for females to eventually LTR (plates or exclusive) to learn to speak to the females you are seeing. practice telling them what your needs, are and watch how they take the information. The submissive and respectful female is going to listen, understand and respond positively. Any other reaction from a female means you shouldn't waste real space on the chick. At the very least you get to practice your communication skills, and become less afraid at communicating on that level.

Agree 100% with @sazc about communication. Many people are actually scared to death to communicate with a relationship partner, no matter what stage the relationship is at, whether it be week 1 or year 25.

People are conflict averse most commonly with folks they are closest too (or whose opinion they most value *Ahem* HOT women anyone?)

So what happens is you find an unusually attractive woman and you worry that by addressing some behavior that bugs you you'll put her off and she might decide to drop you in that case (because as has been noted hot/cool chicks are what every man wants so this type woman is going to have myriad options).

My advice is to determine how much of a big deal the infraction actually is and then determine whether or not it's worth throwing an otherwise good thing away. Couple that with offering her something she can't easily find somewhere else (great compatibility/great lover/etc. which INVESTS her in you), and you'll put the odds in your favor that she will straighten up & try to please you.

But understand that no romantic partner is perfect. ANY woman is going to bug you occasionally, even the best of the best.

And pay careful attention to HOW you communicate whatever bugs you... @taiyuu_otoko lists a good practical method to state the issue... But the presentation of the information greatly influences the response.

So be forthcoming in your communication, and sensitive in your presentation to give her the best opportunity to hear you, acknowledge your concern & modify her behavior.

 

[bigneil]

Once again, most of the advice here comes from men who sound like they never had a relationship.

You might have a one and done texting policy for phone numbers you got last night, but not in a relationship. In the first 2 months after we first started dating, I had to triple text a few times and she always responded and things were always fine. I found that if the conversation got chatty she would go MIA and I needed to send a formal, explicit invitation for a date and she always accepted. The same is true with other girls I've dated this year. There is no rule that every text must be responded to. Sometimes if you have the conversation open, the most recent text doesn't send an update message and they didn't even read your last message yet.

Men shouldn't be afraid to say "I like you and you now have the option of rejecting me". The best two things I ever said to my girlfriend were (when we met) "You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen" and (when we almost broke up) "I promise I won't push you away anymore".

 

[dude99]

So do you feel like giving a girl atleast two changes?

Don't you think dropping someone at first fuk up is over drastic

More like one warning.

 

[dude99]

What if she does not respond maturely?? Instead negatively or defensive of her behavior

Then she is out. If you accept bad behaviour then you find yourself in the same boat as that older girl you were dating.

The idea of change is to not keep doing the same thing over and over.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Usually around 3- 4 weeks

If her attitude / personality is that bad she will automatically become less and less attractive to me until I become uninterested

 

[RangerMIke]

The only red flag I care about is chicks that get too jealous and also have a tendency towards violence. You can figure this out on one date, or two sometimes... then you move on the the next one and stop asking her out. Women fall in love slow, so just stop asking her out before she gets attached.

I don't really care about relationship red flags since I don't do relationships. If I spent too much time worrying about that I wouldn't be having any fun. My advice to men is to dtae for fun, and stop worrying about judging the chick you are with and trying to figure out if she is good relationship material. If you are a relationship guy, well the advice is still good, you just have fun until she brings it up, then you negotiate... until that happens just keep dating as many chicks as you can and let them worry about what it all means. Trust me... you get to this point and you will be SOOOOO much happier.

 

[SmooveMooves]

I don't next anymore. I just use the backburner or soft next. If a woman does something I don't like I withdraw until she comes around. If you're talking to multiple women this shouldn't be a problem. There's no reason to burn bridges if you're looking for sex. LTRs are a different story.

 

[kronreiff]

Personally, I don't get emotionally vested in ANY woman, it's all work and B$. So for me, it takes about 5 seconds to pull the rip cord and go NEXT.

 

[mikey2012]

You should ALWAYS drop a girl once you feel you are getting into them. LOVE is kryptonite to DJs.

 

[Roober]

I don't next anymore. I just use the backburner or soft next. If a woman does something I don't like I withdraw until she comes around. If you're talking to multiple women this shouldn't be a problem. There's no reason to burn bridges if you're looking for sex. LTRs are a different story.

This is genrally my approach as well. If she had a good reaction, she will often be receptive to reconnecting again.