How in the hell do you get hooked by a BPD chick?

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Because I don't know how you can possibly control one of those chicks lol. You could have a go at my ex if you want, then I can finally be rid of her for good, lol.

That's the thing though, you don't. They are self-destructive. A relationship with them cannot last unless you are 100% tireless. And that's one thing about me, I do get sick of playing along with bs because you'd think that they'd learn not to **** with you after a while but they don't lol. You can't really control them, but you can control yourself.

Then when you, for example, go out on a date and show up 10 mins late, they will ****-test you like the world is ending tomorrow. You can remain stoic, but there's no point.

Here's the thing about me, I never gave her a reason to like being 10 minutes late and whatnot. If I did, I always knew how to play it off. She didn't really have anything against me, so she had to make up reasons and over exaggerate the current state of everything. I didn't care really, so then she would make a big deal over it to where our friends would get involved and they would initially be on her side. But I am very skilled at manipulating words around so I was able to project redpill ideas in the form of societal values so that they couldn't argue with me and would instead see my point. Plus I cut through a lot of BS drama because I was so direct and blunt so she couldn't create any drama to have anyone harbor ill will towards me for very long.

See - with all the things we learn about game - there is no way to deal with these bitches besides really physically dominating and manhandling them. Best thing I could possibly do in order to save my relationship with that b*tch, if I wanted to, would be for me to bend her over the knee and give her a good solid spanking, followed by a good half hour of anal rawdogging, just to get her to feel nice and submissive afterward lol. There's no other way. And even then, the process will have to be repeated over and over and over again. It's neverending, because they enjoy it. I have no clue what I'd have to do to get her to submit. These b*tches are like bad dogs.

That's pretty much it. Giving them great sex seems to be the only way to keep them attached to you. This chick just repulsed me later on so I stopped touching her and giving her attention as much. Then she tried pulling a power play by saying how she found out that I told some dude something about her that she didn't want everyone to know (she fvcked our boss before I met her and then he didn't want to have anything sexually related to do with her lmao) and texted me "I think we should break up...... XXX told me that you told her boyfriend about me and XXX having sex". If she had said that she wanted to break up BECAUSE of that instead of the ...... then I know it would have been more sincere, but knowing how she is and her mentality, she still wanted me to be with her, she just wanted me give in. So I was like fvck that. I was gonna reply back with "ok. bye." but I decided to show my older sister and we came up with the response "same lol bye" and I deleted her number after that. Then we showed my younger sister and she said that I should have sent back "finally" instead and we all laughed for like 10 minutes hahaha. Good times.

They have to be rehabilitated. The only way to do that (as Cesar Milan does with his dogs) is to physically remove them from their location, bring them to a new location where the b*tch can observe how dogs are meant to behave, and to teach the dog that the discipline they receive will make them more balanced in the long run. They must follow the pack leader without a second thought. That's the only way.

Yes because women conform much more so than men. They say women have better social skills than men, but I believe that this is only because of that conformity aspect whereas men are more likely to be their own leaders (testosterone). Women have much more of a pack-like mindset than men do, that is why public shaming is their biggest fear and one of, if not the strongest way to influence them. The only other thing that I can think of that can influence them as strong as that is jealousy, but that can be damaging towards their psyche.

 

[Infern0]

Keeping them around is just a case of being higher smv than they are, its really that simple. They wont get rid of you if you make them look good.

Easier said than done though as these girls are HOT, and they tend to wear you down so you start dropping points.

As soon as you dip below them in smv its ovah!!!

 

[playa99]

The posts by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! are solid!

You can only control yourself. Truthfully, anyone can be seduced by someone with issues in the early stages of a relationship. It is up to the individual to recognize the red flags as and when they present an eject. A woman could appear to be a fantastic prospect for an LTR for a few months & then start acting crazy. I've certainly found that to be the case in my experience.

For men who have no understanding of how women work or what 'red flags' are, it is tough. They simply do not know until it is too late. It is then up to the man to recognize these traits in future relationships.

@Infern0 is right, once a woman of this nature has taken you apart, she will leave you broken, arms ripped off on the floor! It's like a cat playing with a mouse.

This is why having solid 'inner game' is crucial.

 

[Chamber36]

The posts by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! are solid!

You can only control yourself. Truthfully, anyone can be seduced by someone with issues in the early stages of a relationship. It is up to the individual to recognize the red flags as and when they present an eject. A woman could appear to be a fantastic prospect for an LTR for a few months & then start acting crazy. I've certainly found that to be the case in my experience.

For men who have no understanding of how women work or what 'red flags' are, it is tough. They simply do not know until it is too late. It is then up to the man to recognize these traits in future relationships.

@Infern0 is right, once a woman of this nature has taken you apart, she will leave you broken, arms ripped off on the floor! It's like a cat playing with a mouse.

This is why having solid 'inner game' is crucial.

Hear hear!

 

[JohnChops]

All I knew before I was hooked is that I was in control ,spinning plates, however, by the time she was done with me I dropped all my plates and was grovelling for her affection.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! Nailed it. I had a huge ego at the time and when my bpd started to withdraw attention , her first round, my ego didn't like that. Send more and more texts and calls, eventually getting into a huge fight. This cycle went on for a good year.

No contact got rid of her but she still comes around every few months for her "how are you texts", I toss them away.


Never again.

 

[9Volt]

All I knew before I was hooked is that I was in control ,spinning plates, however, by the time she was done with me I dropped all my plates and was grovelling for her affection.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! Nailed it. I had a huge ego at the time and when my bpd started to withdraw attention , her first round, my ego didn't like that. Send more and more texts and calls, eventually getting into a huge fight. This cycle went on for a good year.

No contact got rid of her but she still comes around every few months for her "how are you texts", I toss them away.


Never again.

It's like the Athlete who feels he's on top of the world, gets his head gassed up by his fans, groupies and soon as things start falling apart the abandon him and move on to the next bandwagon "greatest". Then that same athlete loses it, starts drinking, gets depressed etc.

If you are susceptible to having your ego blown up by external validation your just as susceptible to when it slowly reverses, stops, or see saws between "the best" and the worst". You need to take compliments etc. with a grain of salt and a smile. Doesn't mean you get paranoid over every compliment or go into some closed off Ice man mode. You just have to be self-aware, confident in yourself, and most importantly honest with yourself not feeding and needing to be validated from external "Approval".

 

[fastlife]

Agreed that your ego's a big part of what gets you hooked on the chicks--but the issue is, that unless you had an ideal upbringing or are made somehow consciously aware of the effects of your ego, then you probably aren't even aware that it exists, that there's anything wrong with the need for external validation, or how people are using your ego to manipulate you.

For me, it was the following:

• Fvcked up childhood--led to escape into fantasy (such as being loved by someone unconditionally) and the need 'to be perfect.' I suppressed my own needs and when I met my BPDex she focused on my needs entirely--at first--which felt super, super good.
• Dependent on external validation. I was popular in elementary school, middle, high school, college--good looks & the desire to compensate for my feelings of powerlessness & unimportance as a kid led to LOADS of validation. My baseline need for validation was set super high. I was the sh1t--and not only the sh1t--I was profoundly, almost unhumanly--THE SH1T. And having someone reaffirm that self-concept was awesome.
• No real understanding of women. I'd been burned before & seen some sh1t, but I thought those were just 'the bad ones.' I was 'spinning plates' at the time--but 'something was missing.' 'There had to be more.' If I just met a girl who was super loyal, sweet, crazy about me, who echoed all of my same moral values...
• I was young--22. Longest 'relationship' was like 9 months & she had a bf the whole time. Totally naive about what qualities contributed to an LTR.
• She was a hard 9/10--my personal ideal facially & physique-wise at the time. She paid for everything, cooked, cleaned, had presence, seemed super mature (at first). I admired her work ethic.
• EVERYONE loved her--we had a huge overlap in social circle and no one had a bad word to say about her.
• I was like a boiling frog--Perfect month/1 bad night. Perfect 2 months/a couple bad nights. Perfect 4 months/a bad week.
• Tons of external validation--everywhere we went, people would stop to compliment me on my catch. Social circle all told us how happy they were for us or how jealous they were. To the outside world, we were the perfect happy.
• Yeah, I realized she was sometimes insecure & just a little jealous--at first. But I was the sh1t. She probably should be. Plus, if I could just prove to her how devoted I was.... She'd had a rough childhood, too. And she was young--she'd just outgrow it
• Every time I'd break up with her, things would reset. Usually all I had to do was think to myself about leaving her & everything would be back to perfect. In fact, we had a rock solid--I mean no issues whatsoever (at least insofar as I defined issues at the time--of course, she was having a ton of 'medical issues')--year leading up to the nuclear event. Right before that year, I'd gone online and Googled, "GF thinks I'm fvcking everybody" & found out about BPD. I knew how it was 'supposed' to end--but I was sure I could beat it. Always loved a challenge. And then after a year of perfect behavior, I thought to myself that maybe she didn't have BPD after all....

Yeah, the me now would've seen her coming a mile away. I would've nexted her probably after the first night. But I can't judge my past self too harshly. Three & a half years ago she was everything all of my paradigms leading up to that point had led me to desire.

 

[Skyline]

If a dude simply falls for "high interest", sex and looks period then he's too reliant on external validation.

three of my friends dated one of those baby talk chicks. I know her too real well. seriously screwed up. first friend didn't give a damn and dropped her. laughed at how screwed up she was/is.

other friend went on one date with her, wound up getting in a fight with four dudes over her flirting and dropped her right after.

other friend is just as nuts as she is and they had an explosive relationship. though like I said the second friend is a complete psychopath.

how dudes even bother with these chicks I'll never know.

Needless to say she's been on pof. lol

Well the average guy is going to have some or all of those issues. We also all have ups and downs. Sometimes we get to a weak point in our lifes and happen to find a seemingly easy way out.

I don't fall for interest, sex, or even looks but sometimes I consider before catching myself. But I do agree that once you learn red flags it makes filtering a lot easier and harder to proceed when you see some major flags being waved around.

 

[Urbanyst]

Desperation dude.

Sad.

 

[ChangePages]

I'll say this, it was my first relationship and had no type of experience with any girl, if I did, I think things would of gone differently but I'm glad I met her as she brought me here and within that I taught myself how to game and understand the women psychology and have been having major success because of it. I see the red flags before it happens, I consider myself slowly climbing to the top.

I've seen the red flags but didn't clearly understand them at the time. Then when she left me for someone else and tried to triangulate me with him. I left and never contacted her again and it will always stay that way

Being in those type of relationships shows you the red flags and what/how to avoid those type of females for your next encounter whether its casual or long term.

I don't consider the experience a bad thing, It did hurt me a lot but it was a blessing. It truly was.

 

[MrAddiction]

How could anyone seriously reply to that question. This question is not curiosity driven - as the OP himself already gives the answer and advice on top!
This seems more intendet by the Need to Tell that all those guys having fallen for a BPD are weak, have no game and are not worth it. "Oh you are human, you have feelings? Naa, grow up become a man" - Look at me how cool and strong I am - that could never happen to me!"
Sorry, but that whole Thread is like bashing around how ridiculous it is that an alcoholic could be so stupid to fall for alcohol where it is so easy to not become addictet to alcohol.

 

[SkrooU]

It takes a good year to get to know someone. Until that year has passed, I assume I could be dating a complete psychopath. So I don't invest many feelings into her until then. I'm guessing guys who fall for them are just really wanting something good and not willing to be patient and realistic enough to asses the situation clearly. I've never fallen for a bpd, though I've dated a few of them. I'm pretty good at picking up on bullsh!t and will use their game against them right before I ghost them. They're actually kinda fun to mess with.

 

[Red Legg]

During the course of my 27 year DJ career I have been in about 12 BPD 'relationships".The first one broke me in when I was 20,I thought the world had ended and even contemplated suicide.looking back I would not exchange that experience for anything,she taught me so much about women and I learned a lot about myself as well,she still hoovers me to this day because you see BPD's don't go away really.The first one inoculated me just like a flu shot would do and now I am impervious to them.I now seek them out because the benefits of dating them are so vast.I DO NOT recommend you trifle with one if you cannot divest yourself of ALL emotions and feelings while dealing with them.I have learned how to 'detach" from my feelings while I am engaging with them,ALL 12 still hoover me one will come in my life while 2 more cycle out in an endless cycle of hoovers.I continue the BPD hunt to this day.I am in the middle of a 'love bombing" right now and boy is she bombing hard and is perplexed as to why I just get more cold....Oh happy days!!!

 

[stovepipe]

I dated one for 2 years. Fell for all her BS and am now left as an empty vessel of my former self. She did get prego twice in which I made her get abortions. After that happened is when she tore me into pieces. I saw so many red flags, but ignored them like a moron. Hadn't been with a women in years so I was loving it all. But ultimately, non of the fun we had was worth the pain I am left in. Suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, insomnia, ect. Some days i feel like I will never be normal again. I've lacked confidence and self esteem my whole life. The girl was a friend of a friend so I just let the red flags go by. Banging her while she was still living with her man was the only red flag I needed but ignored. Never had sex that good nor that satisfying. During the last 2 weeks I saw how evil and ruthless she really way. I could write a got damn book on my experience. Now I have to figure out how to stay alive, become the strongest me, get her out my head and move on in life and use this as an experience to finally wake up and work on myself. Pray to God I survive this and come out the other end a changed man, rather than a walking zombie whos heart could give out at any moment. Teaching this crap in High School should be mandatory these days. Got damn the damage is worse than anything I ever experienced.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I dated one for 2 years. Fell for all her BS and am now left as an empty vessel of my former self. She did get prego twice in which I made her get abortions. After that happened is when she tore me into pieces. I saw so many red flags, but ignored them like a moron. Hadn't been with a women in years so I was loving it all. But ultimately, non of the fun we had was worth the pain I am left in. Suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, insomnia, ect. Some days i feel like I will never be normal again. I've lacked confidence and self esteem my whole life. The girl was a friend of a friend so I just let the red flags go by. Banging her while she was still living with her man was the only red flag I needed but ignored. Never had sex that good nor that satisfying. During the last 2 weeks I saw how evil and ruthless she really way. I could write a got damn book on my experience. Now I have to figure out how to stay alive, become the strongest me, get her out my head and move on in life and use this as an experience to finally wake up and work on myself. Pray to God I survive this and come out the other end a changed man, rather than a walking zombie whos heart could give out at any moment. Teaching this crap in High School should be mandatory these days. Got damn the damage is worse than anything I ever experienced.

Recovery is day by day. You have to walk out of the carnage. Make improvement on yourself daily, improve your diet, excersize, see a therapist too.

 

[Infern0]

It takes a good year to get to know someone. Until that year has passed, I assume I could be dating a complete psychopath. So I don't invest many feelings into her until then. I'm guessing guys who fall for them are just really wanting something good and not willing to be patient and realistic enough to asses the situation clearly. I've never fallen for a bpd, though I've dated a few of them. I'm pretty good at picking up on bullsh!t and will use their game against them right before I ghost them. They're actually kinda fun to mess with.

Clever, you are not.

 

[Infern0]

I dated one for 2 years. Fell for all her BS and am now left as an empty vessel of my former self. She did get prego twice in which I made her get abortions. After that happened is when she tore me into pieces. I saw so many red flags, but ignored them like a moron. Hadn't been with a women in years so I was loving it all. But ultimately, non of the fun we had was worth the pain I am left in. Suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, insomnia, ect. Some days i feel like I will never be normal again. I've lacked confidence and self esteem my whole life. The girl was a friend of a friend so I just let the red flags go by. Banging her while she was still living with her man was the only red flag I needed but ignored. Never had sex that good nor that satisfying. During the last 2 weeks I saw how evil and ruthless she really way. I could write a got damn book on my experience. Now I have to figure out how to stay alive, become the strongest me, get her out my head and move on in life and use this as an experience to finally wake up and work on myself. Pray to God I survive this and come out the other end a changed man, rather than a walking zombie whos heart could give out at any moment. Teaching this crap in High School should be mandatory these days. Got damn the damage is worse than anything I ever experienced.

You will get through it and as crazy as this sounds, one day you will be greatful.

Its easy to take for granted now but at the time mine finished me the first time I literally went insane for a good few weeks. I dropped around 25lbs in the course of a month (i ate about 4-5 times in a month). My sleep cycle was 2am-4am every night for weeks and id snap awake at 4am hyper adrenalized.

Every time my phone went off i thought it was her, every time i heard a car pull up in the drive i thought it was her coming back.

You are literally going through withdrawels of what might as well be a class A drug. Its serious. You just need to get through it, in a few weeks itll pass and you will feel slightly less ****.

It took me a good year to recover, then maybe another 6 months to be totally over the whole thing. (Beware the recycles because they WILL come when you dont expect them anymore, and they mess you up if you give in to them)

To recover as fast as possible try not to get stuck in the anger phase for too long and look at YOURSELF.

as crazy as this sounds the key to getting over this is taking responsibility for YOUR part in it. Find out why you were so reliant on another person, what you feel you needed from them.

Look at your upbringing because its all in there.

Any questions PM me, I'm happy to help.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The posts by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! are solid!

This is why having solid 'inner game' is crucial.

Inner game = self-control [of both libido and ego] + solid screening

 

[The Duke]

I had one with a mild case of BPD. She exhibited perfect behavior for the first 6months. Past dating experience told me that one's "real" personality comes out at the 3-4month mark so once we got past this I figured things were good and I started to fall for her.

She was totally into me, sechsual, paid for things, always doing nice things for me. She made me feel loved, needed, and wanted. It was pretty easy to fall for a person like that. By the time reality sets in, you are already entrenched.

I question those of you that don't fall for something like that! lol. Are you that detached emotionally?

 

[Infern0]

I think the key is, you ALWAYS have to be prepared to eject. No matter how awesome a girl is or how much you love her or whatever. You have to respect yourself and your own principles that if she starts to behave unacceptably, you will leave.

Its unhealthy attatchments that keeps you in that spot. Some borderlines or toxic people can be spotted early but not all, and it does get harder if they suddenly flip out of nowhere, months in.