When Another Lover Brings Her Closer

[JohnChops]

First, I was with 5 other women in that time period. Did I cheat? Second, it's sad that this bears repeating, however, to the men who voted for Hillary: It's not cheating unless there was a commitment. There is usually no commitment until she asks for it. When she is an HB9+ and 25 years younger, this takes months. I wish more girls would "feign guilt" and back it up with 3 months of sex.

Maga babbby. You said you went out with her, I assumed you committed. Also, sex doesn't mean a dang thing, that seems to be common around here. A girl willseep with anyone for a number of reasons, and love does not have to be one of them.

Also, don't insult me ever again Neil, the fact that you would think anyone on here would vote for hilldog is insulting.

 

[SkrooU]

I have never changed my story. I was 46 and she was 20 when we started dating. I didn't expect her to become committed overnight. She is naturally progressing in that direction. So yes I will let her ONS from 3 months ago slide. Seriously, who would dump the hottest girl they know and say "Sorry, but 3 months ago you had sex with another man and although you told me 6 weeks ago and I forgave you then, now I'm mad".

This forum is 95% negative.


Yes, during the Super Bowl last weekend she said "I really like you. I mean I REALLY like you. No, I'm serious, I REALLY like you. I love you. I do." (This was the first time either of us said the L word. Then she said "There will always be a place in my heart for you. And I wanted you to know that the time I was with (that guy on vacation) I thought of you after. (The sex) wasn't good. I regretted it. I want us to stay together. I see us being together for at least 10 years." and I said "You know I love you the most" and she said "I love you too". Then the Patriots scored 31 unanswered points and then we had sex until she could barely walk and I lived happily ever after.

And she is texting me as I type this and letting me tell her how to wear her hair on our next date (a lingerie photo shoot). I'm going to let her slide.

So what is the problem then???? Why are you on here asking people to tell you if you should bring this up AGAIN???

 

[bigneil]

No commitment.

I'm asking whether it's better to bring it up with her or not. Not whether to dump her or not.

MAGA.

 

[guru1000]

Neil, depends on what you want from this girl. True, she didn't cheat as you were not exclusively dating, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that when a girl (of halfway substance barring white trash) is really into you, she will remain loyal to you while you two are not exclusive, as she dare not test you else lose you altogether.

As for your girl:

Exclusive material? Nope
Long-term plate? Yup

Ask her about her plates? Never.

 

[bigneil]

Neil, depends on what you want from this girl. True, she didn't cheat as you were not exclusively dating, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that when a girl (of halfway substance barring white trash) is really into you, she will remain loyal to you while you two are not exclusive, as she dare not test you else lose you altogether.

As for your girl:

Exclusive material? Nope
Long-term plate? Yup

Ask her about her plates? Never.

First, nothing is 100%. Second, I don't believe that an instant commitment occurs, not with women who are extremely attractive. We're talking about a stripper the month she turned 21 (I'm 46), the month she got a boob job and the month she got hired in Las Vegas. She's the most beautiful girl I ever dated, and she is falling in love with me in the 4th month of dating. Yes, she was unfaithful in the first month, but I don't have several girls like this to choose a more faithful one from. I truly don't think anyone in their right mind would avoid such a girl after they already (however foolishly perhaps) fell for her. But again, I'm mainly wondering if I should pry for more details about her affair (and I'm leaning toward no).

I noticed after I started working out, and she started worshipping me, when the subject of other men came up my attitude was "whatever". But sometimes I overthink details.

I do agree it would take a lot for me to commit to her. She is not marriage material yet. Maybe at age 22 or 23.

 

[guru1000]

Neil, you don't make strippers into housewives.

I am not passing judgment nor attacking you. I can see you are invested. Be cognizant of the frame from which you are operating: Don't build your Disneyland fairy tale with her. Just enjoy her for who she is, a stripper--and proceed accordingly.

 

[sazc]

I have never changed my story. I was 46 and she was 20 when we started dating. I didn't expect her to become committed overnight. She is naturally progressing in that direction. So yes I will let her ONS from 3 months ago slide. Seriously, who would dump the hottest girl they know and say "Sorry, but 3 months ago you had sex with another man and although you told me 6 weeks ago and I forgave you then, now I'm mad".

This forum is 95% negative.


Yes, during the Super Bowl last weekend she said "I really like you. I mean I REALLY like you. No, I'm serious, I REALLY like you. I love you. I do." (This was the first time either of us said the L word. Then she said "There will always be a place in my heart for you. And I wanted you to know that the time I was with (that guy on vacation) I thought of you after. (The sex) wasn't good. I regretted it. I want us to stay together. I see us being together for at least 10 years." and I said "You know I love you the most" and she said "I love you too". Then the Patriots scored 31 unanswered points and then we had sex until she could barely walk and I lived happily ever after.

And she is texting me as I type this and letting me tell her how to wear her hair on our next date (a lingerie photo shoot). I'm going to let her slide.

If she said it she was feeling it. Only she knows if it will hold strong. I wouldn't bring it back up. She's bound to say it again, then you can ask her whatever you want.

 

[bigneil]

If she said it she was feeling it. Only she knows if it will hold strong. I wouldn't bring it back up. She's bound to say it again, then you can ask her whatever you want.

Yes, she was feeling it for that one moment in time. But I have a good chance of repeating.

Also note: This infidelity happened one month before I started working out. Her jaw dropped when she saw me one month after I started working out. It's now been two months since I started working out. I have to reevaluate her behavior now that I am in better shape. I told her nobody can inspire me like she can, and thanked her.

 

[sazc]

Yes, she was feeling it for that one moment in time. But I have a good chance of repeating.

Also note: This infidelity happened one month before I started working out. Her jaw dropped when she saw me one month after I started working out. It's now been two months since I started working out. I have to reevaluate her behavior now that I am in better shape. I told her nobody can inspire me like she can, and thanked her.

take it slow! I feel like the slower you roll with this female the more secure and pair bonded she is going to get with you

 

[bigneil]

take it slow! I feel like the slower you roll with this female the more secure and pair bonded she is going to get with you

We plan one event every 2 weeks (which amounts to one week of minimal contact, and one week of detailed planning) and that seems to be a good amount for the first few months.

 

[sazc]

We plan one event every 2 weeks and that seems to be a good amount for the first few months.

just remember, always mentally keep one foot out the door. Understand that things could change on a dime. This way you wont ever feel, or be, blindsided. I say that with all sincerity. I am going on 2 years with my man. There is definite love, and plans are future oriented, but you just never know what tomorrow is going to bring you.

 

[marmel75]

Neil, you don't make strippers into housewives.

I am not passing judgment nor attacking you. I can see you are invested. Be cognizant of the frame from which you are operating: Don't build your Disneyland fairy tale with her. Just enjoy her for who she is, a stripper--and proceed accordingly.

The Geto Boys said it best in their all-time classic: "You gotta let a Ho be a Ho"...some of the most truthful lyrics of all time.

 

[bigneil]

just remember, always mentally keep one foot out the door. Understand that things could change on a dime. This way you wont ever feel, or be, blindsided. I say that with all sincerity.

Those were almost my exact words. I still think you might be her.

 

[sazc]

Those were almost my exact words. I still think you might be her.

omg, IM NOT HER.....unless you are the father of an 8 and 10 year old.....if that's the case you owe me child support.... pay TF up!

in all seriousness, im coding up an app at work that will manage open source components. I expect to have the core product released by the late fall.

Im not your girl. I'm just random chick.

 

[sazc]

I'm not going to go so far as to judge what a stripper can, and cannot be. One of my friends from HS was a stripper for awhile when she was younger. She did it to pay the bills. During this time she was not selling herself, she was just dancing. She did make a few mistakes with men but she was always looking for an LTR.
Now she is a happily married 40 something year old with kids and has left those days behind. It can happen but, since idk ur girl, my advice is as anyone would tell you, go slow and expect the worst.

 

[BeExcellent]

Don't ask, don't tell. Don't wife her up. You are gaga over her looks. I see this as a low % success rate play. I like you Neil. It tends to end up ugly.

Enjoy her, sure, but keep your grip on reality or reality will be brutal.

 

[bigneil]

Neil, you don't make strippers into housewives.

I am not passing judgment nor attacking you. I can see you are invested. Be cognizant of the frame from which you are operating: Don't build your Disneyland fairy tale with her. Just enjoy her for who she is, a stripper--and proceed accordingly.

I know you can't turn a ho into a housewife - and why would you want to? That's a step in the wrong direction.

Note that I met her 14 months ago, when she was a waitress, one week after she started stripping, when she was 20. I gave her her first orgasm. I know her fairly well.

People want to say "she's a stripper" but when you look at the bottom line, which girl I dated was the most photogenic, the sweetest, the sexiest, the best in bed, the most romantic, the smartest, the one who lasted the longest - you would sooner say all girls should be strippers than strippers are bad.

 

[sazc]

Haha. +1 for your candor and intellectual honesty btw, here and elsewhere

Thanks. I'm sincerely trying to understand all of it, and keep it real.

 

[bigneil]

It was 6 months ago now that I ran into her for the second time. I've had a great 6 months, and I learned more about what it means to love a woman, to get her to fall in love, and to make love. In the process most every other girl I ever dated and every girl I met since has made herself available. Anything else that happens is a bonus.

I don't understand the concept of getting hurt badly. Sure, disappointed, but you need to get really invested to be "hurt badly". I always make sure to stay in budget (which is 5% of my income). I'd have to marry her to get hurt badly (she'd get 95% of my income).

 

[SkrooU]

You are gaga over her looks.

This is the problem.

I don't understand the concept of getting hurt badly. Sure, disappointed, but you need to get really invested to be "hurt badly". I always make sure to stay in budget (which is 5% of my income). I'd have to marry her to get hurt badly (she'd get 95% of my income).

Huh? You are in love and think being hurt means losing a certain amount of money? You make no sense dude.