When Another Lover Brings Her Closer

[bigneil]

A few months ago a girl I was dating had a one night stand while on a vacation.

She and I had only been dating for about 6 weeks at the time (now 6 months) so she didn't cheat per se. I was pretty much over it, and in fact, things are better than ever now and she's been confessing her feelings for me lately. If anything, I should send her on another vacation to see that guy, and maybe send him a thank-you card.

However, while she was telling me how much she loves me about a week ago, she randomly threw out a comment of "I had met him a week earlier" and being a numbers and date person, I remembered off the top of my head that she was with me a week earlier. The timing of that really bothered me. But at the time she said it, I missed that comment and we went on to have hours of great sex.

She told me "After I had sex with him, I thought about you". A girl I know said that translated to: he wasn't as good in bed as you.

Anyhow, I have another date coming up with her. Also, this event happened 3 months ago now. She has literally been dream-like in her behavior lately. I don't want to rock the boat but it's also killing me to know the exact timing of when she met this person (note her recollection is likely not as accurate as my photographic calendar memory).

Am I better off not bringing this up?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Neil, you're a basket of insecurity complexes. What is it going to take to get you some self-esteem? I know I'm ripping on you by saying that, but it's because I want you to be able to get over these problems.

Her and some other guy,,,oh my ego...shut up about it, at least to her. B!tch all you want on here to get it out of your system, but never let her know you feel that way.

 

[Milano]

I understand your frustration Neil. In a world of honesty and decency one should date one person at a time. When you get feelings for someone you feel that they belong to you, are yours even though these feelings do not match the current relationship rules of casual dating.

A friend of mine when he moved to the states and started dating, he just dumped girls he found out was fuking other guys, just a huge turnoff and disrespect for him. He just cant deal with any sluttyness at all, gotta give it to him. Found a cute girl he married also.

As long as this does not eat your insides up too much you should keep it to yourself as discussing feelings with a woman is a death spiral. Nothing weak about saying what you want though, and dont settle for less. Continue sleeping with other girls if you can. If she digs too much into your swagger account perhaps you should dump her for your own good.

 

[SkrooU]

while she was telling me how much she loves me about a week ago, she randomly threw out a comment of "I had met him a week earlier"

The timing of that really bothered me. But at the time she said it, I missed that comment and we went on to have hours of great sex.

Am I better off not bringing this up?

I would be careful about letting yourself get close to this girl. She is using other dudes to play with your ego and get you going sexually. Just let it sink in - she mentions sex with him while she talks about loving you. I get how women have their own mating strategies, but personally i find this one unnecessary and distasteful. However, I would let it go and see how often she brings it up on her own. Maybe if you are self confident enough to ignore it then she will start only thinking of you. Usually works for me. But it only takes a few weeks for me. She is mentioning this after 6 months with you?

 

[Roober]

Do not bring it up! It is in the past and there is no point. It will just come accross as insecure, especially since you are bringing it up 3 months later. Haven't you already said it's no big deal, and accepted her back into your life? Asking her about it negates that completely... just my two cents

 

[dude99]

A few months ago a girl I was dating had a one night stand while on a vacation.

She and I had only been dating for about 6 weeks at the time (now 6 months) so she didn't cheat per se. I was pretty much over it, and in fact, things are better than ever now and she's been confessing her feelings for me lately. If anything, I should send her on another vacation to see that guy, and maybe send him a thank-you card.

However, while she was telling me how much she loves me about a week ago, she randomly threw out a comment of "I had met him a week earlier" and being a numbers and date person, I remembered off the top of my head that she was with me a week earlier. The timing of that really bothered me. But at the time she said it, I missed that comment and we went on to have hours of great sex.

She told me "After I had sex with him, I thought about you". A girl I know said that translated to: he wasn't as good in bed as you.

Anyhow, I have another date coming up with her. Also, this event happened 3 months ago now. She has literally been dream-like in her behavior lately. I don't want to rock the boat but it's also killing me to know the exact timing of when she met this person (note her recollection is likely not as accurate as my photographic calendar memory).

Am I better off not bringing this up?

You can look at it one of two ways.

1. She is with you now. And she is just a plate so no biggie.

Or

2. If the other guy was better than me in bed she would be history and with the other guy.

Do you see a future with this girl? Or is she just one of your plates that if she were to leave you wouldn't really care?

 

[bigneil]

I remember twisting myself into a pretzel like this over one other guy...I later found out it was like 2-3 other guys lol. Women date concurrently. If you weren't exclusive she will date a fvck and take joy and pride in that. This usually carries over into the so called exclusivity period for a few months at least.

That was my reason to want to avoid it. Chances are, that was 3 guys ago and she'll secretly laugh at me.

 

[nikkisixx]

i would ask who she likes better and relax. winning a hot dog contest does not make her fall in love with you

 

[JohnChops]

"dating for 6 weeks so she didn't cheat per se".... What? She cheated, she slobbed on that dudes knob with no regrets. She is only telling you what you want to hear so you stay attached to her. She didn't feel guilty, she probably feigned her guilt.

Dump her. **** it.

 

[Alvafe]

I wonder if you are lacking that much in options to even ask this

serious it was not random, it was her testing you, she will toss the she get her ***** ****ed when you was with her just to see what happens, and I would wonder what else she did you don't know, she is not trusworthy, you can "keep" her if she is a easy lay, but never make her a GF, FB max

I have a lower tolerance point for this kind of thing so, I serious never will understand this

 

[bigneil]

I disagree that a girl needs to be instantly faithful within 6 weeks or she is no good.

The fact she is still with me after 6 months (and closer than ever) is proof of this.

Regarding options, I not only had a date this week, but I had a date with her arch-rival, a non-stripper (bartender) who she recently posed for in a photo (average rating 95, with her getting 97 and the rival 93) and who she knows wants a 3-way. But the arch-rival was dating my best guy friend so today I got him back with her. Bros before hoes. And no 4-way.

 

[bigneil]

"dating for 6 weeks so she didn't cheat per se".... What? She cheated, she slobbed on that dudes knob with no regrets. She is only telling you what you want to hear so you stay attached to her. She didn't feel guilty, she probably feigned her guilt.

First, I was with 5 other women in that time period. Did I cheat? Second, it's sad that this bears repeating, however, to the men who voted for Hillary: It's not cheating unless there was a commitment. There is usually no commitment until she asks for it. When she is an HB9+ and 25 years younger, this takes months. I wish more girls would "feign guilt" and back it up with 3 months of sex.

 

[sazc]

I don't like that she said this. I find it very disrespectful. She should be doing and saying things that nurture what you have together. Not randomly bringing up a ONS.

 

[bigneil]

I don't like that she said this. I find it very disrespectful. She should be doing and saying things that nurture what you have together. Not randomly bringing up a ONS.

I was hoping to get your feedback. You don't like that she said "I love you and I regret ever being with anyone else"? I wasn't quizzing her on it. She just started confessing her feelings and was trying to address what had been the one issue we had in 6 months of dating. At the time, I thought everything was fine. I just remembered one detail that was bothering me. I think the time factor makes that detail moot.

 

[GoodOne123]

This absolutely pisses me off about modern women. They're all pretty much sloots. No wonder they get offended by the word, because most of them are sloots.

In my mind there's no such thing as real love with this type of girl no matter what she says. I just can't respect a woman like that.

As far as I'm concerned they're only good for phony relationships and pump-and-dumps.

I'm only going to be serious with a woman who is traditional, and doesn't do this craap.

 

[bigneil]

It's sort of amazing when you think about it.

This forum pretends to help men get phone numbers and dates.

Then when you actually find the hottest girl you ever saw, 25 years your junior, and she has sex with you for 6 months and tells you she loves you and apologizes for the one time she wasn't perfect, and people say "Aha! She wasn't perfect that one time! Dump her and be single and lonely again!" It's like people saying "Tom Brady threw a pick 6 and cheated!" or "Donald Trump spanked a ho once!"

Until I find an HB9+ who is 100% faithful, I'll settle for the one who is 90% faithful.

 

[SkrooU]

I was hoping to get your feedback. You don't like that she said "I love you and I regret ever being with anyone else"? I wasn't quizzing her on it. She just started confessing her feelings and was trying to address what had been the one issue we had in 6 months of dating. At the time, I thought everything was fine. I just remembered one detail that was bothering me. I think the time factor makes that detail moot.

You seem to be changing the story. It bothers you, but then you get mad when others are bothered by it. I think you are in denial about either your own feelings or her overall character when it comes to loyalty.

Read what you are writing here. You defend this as something harmless. Yet you say it has been something that has been a problem. And you want to know more.

 

[CMNILS87]

A few months ago a girl I was dating had a one night stand while on a vacation.

She and I had only been dating for about 6 weeks at the time (now 6 months) so she didn't cheat per se. I was pretty much over it, and in fact, things are better than ever now and she's been confessing her feelings for me lately. If anything, I should send her on another vacation to see that guy, and maybe send him a thank-you card.

However, while she was telling me how much she loves me about a week ago, she randomly threw out a comment of "I had met him a week earlier" and being a numbers and date person, I remembered off the top of my head that she was with me a week earlier. The timing of that really bothered me. But at the time she said it, I missed that comment and we went on to have hours of great sex.

She told me "After I had sex with him, I thought about you". A girl I know said that translated to: he wasn't as good in bed as you.

Anyhow, I have another date coming up with her. Also, this event happened 3 months ago now. She has literally been dream-like in her behavior lately. I don't want to rock the boat but it's also killing me to know the exact timing of when she met this person (note her recollection is likely not as accurate as my photographic calendar memory).

Am I better off not bringing this up?

This girl is crazy. When you stated what she said, I could see that **** stare a mile away. A girl did the same thing to me. Casually dating, she says she's with other men too. She says she gave up the others so she could fully date me. I call bull****, I know she's still talking to other guys. Girls that are emotional vampires get off by saying **** like this. They dig their nails in and they will try to make you a jealous little ***** however they can. Why does she even need to bring up banging another man unless to ensue Jealousy?? They say this **** to keep you on the hook. You were a better lover BigNeil, your covk was bigger, you were more passionate. Look at that ego stroking to keep you on the hook. It's all a ruse dude

 

[sazc]

I was hoping to get your feedback. You don't like that she said "I love you and I regret ever being with anyone else"? I wasn't quizzing her on it. She just started confessing her feelings and was trying to address what had been the one issue we had in 6 months of dating. At the time, I thought everything was fine. I just remembered one detail that was bothering me. I think the time factor makes that detail moot.

Did she actually say that? The "regret" part? you didn't put that in your first post.
I guess my question is exactly what were her words? Or do you not remember because it was so long ago?

 

[bigneil]

I have never changed my story. I was 46 and she was 20 when we started dating. I didn't expect her to become committed overnight. She is naturally progressing in that direction. So yes I will let her ONS from 3 months ago slide. Seriously, who would dump the hottest girl they know and say "Sorry, but 3 months ago you had sex with another man and although you told me 6 weeks ago and I forgave you then, now I'm mad".

This forum is 95% negative.

Did she actually say that? The "regret" part? you didn't put that in your first post.
I guess my question is exactly what were her words? Or do you not remember because it was so long ago?

Yes, during the Super Bowl last weekend she said "I really like you. I mean I REALLY like you. No, I'm serious, I REALLY like you. I love you. I do." (This was the first time either of us said the L word. Then she said "There will always be a place in my heart for you. And I wanted you to know that the time I was with (that guy on vacation) I thought of you after. (The sex) wasn't good. I regretted it. I want us to stay together. I see us being together for at least 10 years." and I said "You know I love you the most" and she said "I love you too". Then the Patriots scored 31 unanswered points and then we had sex until she could barely walk and I lived happily ever after.

And she is texting me as I type this and letting me tell her how to wear her hair on our next date (a lingerie photo shoot). I'm going to let her slide.