4 months into relationship, up and down

[Roober]

I am telling you from experience, look at her actions NOT her words. Her words mean absolutely squat!!! They are said sincerely with emotion, but it emotion during that specific time.

"your so amazing, I'm so happy I met you" is a way of roping guys in. I am sure she meant it, but it means nothing if the actions are not there to back it up. If she is so happy to meet you, would she be randomly talking to other dudes?

On a side note, WTF is up with guys bringing people around their kids so quickly? Am I the only one that would wait a minimum of 6 months?

 

[randalljohnson]

I am telling you from experience, look at her actions NOT her words. Her words mean absolutely squat!!! They are said sincerely with emotion, but it emotion during that specific time.

"your so amazing, I'm so happy I met you" is a way of roping guys in. I am sure she meant it, but it means nothing if the actions are not there to back it up. If she is so happy to meet you, would she be randomly talking to other dudes?

On a side note, WTF is up with guys bringing people around their kids so quickly? Am I the only one that would wait a minimum of 6 months?

Well, she told me I was amazing and everything AFTER we got over our "down" moment. So she was flirting with guys online BEFORE we had our "up" moment. Im not trying to justify it, just explaining what happened. I have hope that maybe now she has "turned the corner" so to speak. But I see alot of people here don't think she truly has turned the corner. Which I can't object to either way.

In addition to this, what are your thoughts (as well as everybody elses) on having ups and downs in a new relationship just a couple of months into it? Is that a bad sign? Or a good sign because the wrinkles are getting ironed out?

 

[randalljohnson]

Of course.

She essentially went behind your back while you were at work/away. It might be going good now but when it gets bad, and you would be a fool to think every relationship is perfect, she does this.

I guess I just have hope that because we've had our highest "up" recently (and the fact that I noticed she deleted the random guys) that she's fully locked-in now. Again, maybe Im a fool

 

[Roober]

Well, she told me I was amazing and everything AFTER we got over our "down" moment. So she was flirting with guys online BEFORE we had our "up" moment. Im not trying to justify it, just explaining what happened. I have hope that maybe now she has "turned the corner" so to speak. But I see alot of people here don't think she truly has turned the corner. Which I can't object to either way.

In addition to this, what are your thoughts (as well as everybody elses) on having ups and downs in a new relationship just a couple of months into it? Is that a bad sign? Or a good sign because the wrinkles are getting ironed out?

Ups and downs so early are not a good sign. Typically, people are on their best behavior in the beginning (3-4 months), another reason why almost everyone here will tell you don't agree to be exclusive for that time. You guys should only be hanging out 1-2 times per week max. After this "feeling out" phase, women and men begin to get comfortable and show their true selves. Women with lots of experience can likely hide this for longer.

I also have kids, and I will not bring women randomly into their lives. Another red flag for me is introducing the kids so early to GFs, etc. I would say try to hold off at least 4 months, at the bare minimum. If a woman brings you in early, she may just be looking for a provider... Also, what kind of woman is okay with bringing multiple men into her kid's lives?

Women will show you who they are if you are paying attention. Just don't be a dodobird and ignore that "gut feeling". If I had to guess, you are going to ignore it and get burned in the near future.

 

[resilient]

Women will show you who they are if you are paying attention. Just don't be a dodobird and ignore that "gut feeling".

Smartest thing to do then is to rely on the gut for extreme vetting when screening out potential baddies.

Spicer returns to SNL over last weekend. Funny part relates to this thread at the 02:59 mark.

 

[randalljohnson]

Ups and downs so early are not a good sign. Typically, people are on their best behavior in the beginning (3-4 months), another reason why almost everyone here will tell you don't agree to be exclusive for that time. You guys should only be hanging out 1-2 times per week max. After this "feeling out" phase, women and men begin to get comfortable and show their true selves. Women with lots of experience can likely hide this for longer.

I also have kids, and I will not bring women randomly into their lives. Another red flag for me is introducing the kids so early to GFs, etc. I would say try to hold off at least 4 months, at the bare minimum. If a woman brings you in early, she may just be looking for a provider... Also, what kind of woman is okay with bringing multiple men into her kid's lives?

Women will show you who they are if you are paying attention. Just don't be a dodobird and ignore that "gut feeling". If I had to guess, you are going to ignore it and get burned in the near future.

I appreciate your honesty.

I have a question about your post-- you suggest she's looking for a provider, but then suggest she will burn me in the near future. In what way and why?

 

[Roober]

I appreciate your honesty.

I have a question about your post-- you suggest she's looking for a provider, but then suggest she will burn me in the near future. In what way and why?

To me, anyone that brings men around their kids that early is looking for a provider. Maybe just an opinion, but it seems to happen every time I have seen this occur. If she is mentally healthy, independent, and just looking for love, she wouldn't risk bringing guys around her kids. Think about this, has she asked you to do anything for them? Even something as small as watching them while she goes to the grocery store?

If you maintain your frame and don't put up with her BS, she is likely to walk or start branch swinging, hence possibly getting hurt

 

[bigneil]

Smartest thing to do then is to rely on the gut for extreme vetting when screening out potential baddies.

Spicer returns to SNL over last weekend. Funny part relates to this thread at the 02:59 mark.

And yet resilient couldn't vet Hillary Clinton as a potential baddy? Trump is your President.

The problem OP is having is that he wanted an arranged marriage and decided to ask for a commitment 3-4 hours into the relationship.

He wants a second mommy.

 

[randalljohnson]

And yet resilient couldn't vet Hillary Clinton as a potential baddy? Trump is your President.

The problem OP is having is that he wanted an arranged marriage and decided to ask for a commitment 3-4 hours into the relationship.

He wants a second mommy.

I dont want a second mommy