Why did she do this?

[TheFixer14]

I met this 18 year old girl at this weekly part that I usually go to. She was cute, a tad chubby, smart, firery, a fan of anime (first girl that I've met to know a bunch of anime that I've never heard of), and fun. She is like a better looking Christina Ricci.

So I got her number and set up a date the next day for Friday. She just texted me this:

"Hey I just wanted to let you know that I'm not looking for anything other than a friendship right now, so if ure looking for more I don't want that..."

I just responded: "LOL, okay". And she said, "just making sure it's clear haha".

Why would she do that? She did meet a girl that I was messing with before me, maybe she spoke to her about me?

My guess is that she is still rather young. Like she didn't know what a queef was. She is a bit nervous, having an internal battle and wanted to say that to clear her of any liability. It could have also been a **** test. I am six years older than her. She probably wants to make sure I want her for her.

What are your thoughts? I watched Cruel Intentions, so I know that this isn't that big of deal. I already figured that I couldn't be too sexually direct with her and would have to charm her anyway. Now that's confirmed.

I've made a choice now not to care about what a woman does period. I know what I want and I will pursue it.

 

[Teddy_Beer]

I've been in your situation before and much like I was, you're overthinking this. What a woman says and what she actually does are two completely different things. Just do your thing and have fun.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't waste any time on her unless she starts pursuing you

This is perfect advice.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is perfect advice.

Once you accept how a "girl" navigates it all makes perfect sense.

A "girl" is with NO BODY. She is loyal to herself and her needs. She will have a couple dozen dudes who want to bang, and she may be banging one out the group. She uses the rest to do favors for her, to take her out to eat, etc. The guy banging might not do ANYTHING at all for her. Because he knows she deals with other guys, so he'll figure he'll let the others do it.

So unless you are phvcking her, there is no reason to talk to her excessively, no reason to help her, no reason for do anything, unless she makes you happy.

A "girl" is best when they think you are unattainable and they will work hard to pursue you, while walking on the backs of her white knights and orbitters...

A "girl" will always go after what she "feels"... They are not disciplined creatures unless it brings them more of what they want.

 

[Teddy_Beer]

Once you accept how a "girl" navigates it all makes perfect sense.

A "girl" is with NO BODY. She is loyal to herself and her needs. She will have a couple dozen dudes who want to bang, and she may be banging one out the group. She uses the rest to do favors for her, to take her out to eat, etc. The guy banging might not do ANYTHING at all for her. Because he knows she deals with other guys, so he'll figure he'll let the others do it.

So unless you are phvcking her, there is no reason to talk to her excessively, no reason to help her, no reason for do anything, unless she makes you happy.

A "girl" is best when they think you are unattainable and they will work hard to pursue you, while walking on the backs of her white knights and orbitters...

A "girl" will always go after what she "feels"... They are not disciplined creatures unless it brings them more of what they want.

So what you're saying is: "a girl is never YOUR girl...it's simply just your turn"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So what you're saying is: "a girl is never YOUR girl...it's simply just your turn"

YES! A "girl". Notice I said a "GIRL"... A woman is not a girl, a woman takes care of her man. It's up to us to discern this. A girl may transition into a "woman" but if
she shows you she's a "girl" treat her as such. You will not help yourself treating a girl like a woman. She will cookie cutter the sex and fun out and let you do all the
man stuff.

 

[pyros]

I would not waste my time with such girl.

Anyway, if you have nothing else to do, you can go meet her, maybe meet her a couple more times but including alcohol and at night to see if you can get some action, but it is not very likely.

 

[TheGambino]

All sh1tty stupid advice from the players here. Dumb sh1t. A DJ knows she cant resist him. Go to the date, vibe well, be interested and get some booze in. Dont listen to her rationalizing crap on text. Go, rock her night and if you do well you will escalate at the date. Been there done that got that message after a number close, 2 days later on the date shes sitting on my lap after an hour and we make out for hours.

 

[sazc]

I'm in the 'you're over thinking this' camp. Take it for the words that are printed on the screen. There's no hidden message, no ulterior motive.
Her statement may change over time but, for now, she stated what her thoughts are.

Maybe she's really just looking for a FWB or ONS, who knows?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

YES! A "girl". Notice I said a "GIRL"... A woman is not a girl, a woman takes care of her man. It's up to us to discern this. A girl may transition into a "woman" but if
she shows you she's a "girl" treat her as such. You will not help yourself treating a girl like a woman. She will cookie cutter the sex and fun out and let you do all the
man stuff.

And only boys like girls.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

And only boys like girls.

Men won't like em but will phvck them

 

[Konada]

I met this 18 year old girl at this weekly part that I usually go to. She was cute, a tad chubby, smart, firery, a fan of anime (first girl that I've met to know a bunch of anime that I've never heard of), and fun. She is like a better looking Christina Ricci.

So I got her number and set up a date the next day for Friday. She just texted me this:

"Hey I just wanted to let you know that I'm not looking for anything other than a friendship right now, so if ure looking for more I don't want that..."

I just responded: "LOL, okay". And she said, "just making sure it's clear haha".

Why would she do that? She did meet a girl that I was messing with before me, maybe she spoke to her about me?

My guess is that she is still rather young. Like she didn't know what a queef was. She is a bit nervous, having an internal battle and wanted to say that to clear her of any liability. It could have also been a **** test. I am six years older than her. She probably wants to make sure I want her for her.

What are your thoughts? I watched Cruel Intentions, so I know that this isn't that big of deal. I already figured that I couldn't be too sexually direct with her and would have to charm her anyway. Now that's confirmed.

I've made a choice now not to care about what a woman does period. I know what I want and I will pursue it.

"I can't promise you that, but I can promise you a good time."

 

[TheFixer14]

I've been in your situation before and much like I was, you're overthinking this. What a woman says and what she actually does are two completely different things. Just do your thing and have fun.

I agree, actions speak louder than words. Particularly with women. I think that she was just having an internal battle.

Don't waste any time on her unless she starts pursuing you

After this first date I'm definitely going to lay off after a week at least.

Once you accept how a "girl" navigates it all makes perfect sense.

A "girl" is with NO BODY. She is loyal to herself and her needs. She will have a couple dozen dudes who want to bang, and she may be banging one out the group. She uses the rest to do favors for her, to take her out to eat, etc. The guy banging might not do ANYTHING at all for her. Because he knows she deals with other guys, so he'll figure he'll let the others do it.

So unless you are phvcking her, there is no reason to talk to her excessively, no reason to help her, no reason for do anything, unless she makes you happy.

A "girl" is best when they think you are unattainable and they will work hard to pursue you, while walking on the backs of her white knights and orbitters...

A "girl" will always go after what she "feels"... They are not disciplined creatures unless it brings them more of what they want.

This sums girls up quite nicely lol.

All sh1tty stupid advice from the players here. Dumb sh1t. A DJ knows she cant resist him. Go to the date, vibe well, be interested and get some booze in. Dont listen to her rationalizing crap on text. Go, rock her night and if you do well you will escalate at the date. Been there done that got that message after a number close, 2 days later on the date shes sitting on my lap after an hour and we make out for hours.

This is the closest to what I'm thinking. I was already figuring that I would have to charm her. This just confirmed it. She seemed fine when I was touching her knee the night that we met.

I'm in the 'you're over thinking this' camp. Take it for the words that are printed on the screen. There's no hidden message, no ulterior motive.
Her statement may change over time but, for now, she stated what her thoughts are.

Maybe she's really just looking for a FWB or ONS, who knows?

Perhaps. Maybe she just wants to make sure that I don't want a relationship. A "friendship" can mean many things.

"I can't promise you that, but I can promise you a good time."

Haha that is a good line.

 

[RangerMIke]

Why she send you that text? She knows you want her and she wants you to slow the fvck down. You are coming on too strong. Women can smell this on you like stink of sh!t.

What should you do? Slow the fvck down, don't be so desperate... it helps if you are seeing other girls, then you are not going to care so much about making it work with this one.

 

[TheFixer14]

Why she send you that text? She knows you want her and she wants you to slow the fvck down. You are coming on too strong. Women can smell this on you like stink of sh!t.

What should you do? Slow the fvck down, don't be so desperate... it helps if you are seeing other girls, then you are not going to care so much about making it work with this one.

But I haven't texted her since Monday. I don't think I've come on that strong. Maybe I did something when we met. But I've been chill.

I'm kinda seeing other girls. But they have been faking on me.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why? Who knows. Who cares. You should not care. You go on the date with her and ignore this statement. Isolate & escalate & see what happens.

Now alternatively you could go this route below:

If you get really good at game you must always see this sort of statement is a gauntlet she has thrown down. Your response via text was good.

"Hey I just wanted to let you know that I'm not looking for anything other than a friendship right now, so if ure looking for more I don't want that..."

I just responded: "LOL, okay". And she said, "just making sure it's clear haha".

Want to completely flip things over? Take her out and tell her since all she wants is friendship she can wing for you. Seriously. When she looks at you funny, you say "you know, you help me meet girls I like; I help you meet guys you like...deal?" You have said you are an attractive dude, so put her on the spot this way. One of two things will happen. Either she will be affronted that you have the balls to call her on her BS and really she does want more than friends, but thought she could control you (in which case she will get all flustered) OR she really isn't attracted to you and in that case she should relax, have fun, and introduce you to other girls.

Either way it's a win for you.

If she is in camp #1, and she is appalled you would ask her to help set you up with other girls, then have fun with it. Tease her about it. Be loose, flirt with other women anyway. Statements like the one she made actually can be invitations to build sexual tension (always and forever a good thing) if she is really just applying the brakes or trying to.

If she's in camp #2 then cool. She can help you meet other chicks you can pursue. A man is well served to have a couple of good looking women as buddies to go out with. It's good social proof and tends to up a guy's value in the eyes of the other women. If anybody scoffs at this or if a gal pal wing ever makes a statement to other girls you don't like, for example "oh he's just a friend, we're not like that" you just interrupt and say, "It's true. She's a prude and I'm a player...it bugs her. It REALLY bugs her." Then you just grin a really big grin.

In other words you own your sexual nature and have fun with it. I used to wing for a couple of my guy pals. We always had this kind of slightly sexual banter going in front of other people. I'm a hot blonde. He would say I'm too ugly for him (I obviously was not ugly) and I'd say well, he really can't dance (he obviously could), and he's really too bossy (at which point he would say "I am NOT...and then demand that I get him a drink), etc. The obvious contrast of words saying one thing and actions saying exactly the opposite is something you can use to create sexual tension, which casts you in a desirable light. My buddy and I had no intention of sleeping with each other, but the innuendo was great at creating interest from others in EACH of us, and it was a great deal of fun too honestly. I mean you are an actor for heaven's sake. Have fun with it.

 

[Urbanyst]

If you're confused this early then you don't have the upper hand.

Whenever you don't feel like you have the upper hand you should just hit the next button. Hot sex isn't worth changing your frame and letting the woman lead you.

Girls should always be an addition to your world. Whenever you have to enter their world to pursue them they are usually not that into you or they are entitled. Bad news bro. Stay away.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Why would she do that?

Believe that people will tell you half truths. 'Just friends' can mean one of two things:

a) She is not attracted at all, and will literally friend-zone you outright, with no benefits whatsoever.
b) She is attracted to you and might bang, but literally doesn't want anything more. To be fair, she's 18 years old, so why would she.

Owing to the fact she's agreed to go out, (b) might in fact be the reality, if you play your cards right. So take her out and escalate quickly, in a smooth way rather than a desperate way.

I'm kinda seeing other girls. But they have been faking on me.

There's clearly something that's putting people off. What do you think that is?

 

[TheFixer14]

Why? Who knows. Who cares. You should not care. You go on the date with her and ignore this statement. Isolate & escalate & see what happens.

Now alternatively you could go this route below:

If you get really good at game you must always see this sort of statement is a gauntlet she has thrown down. Your response via text was good.



Want to completely flip things over? Take her out and tell her since all she wants is friendship she can wing for you. Seriously. When she looks at you funny, you say "you know, you help me meet girls I like; I help you meet guys you like...deal?" You have said you are an attractive dude, so put her on the spot this way. One of two things will happen. Either she will be affronted that you have the balls to call her on her BS and really she does want more than friends, but thought she could control you (in which case she will get all flustered) OR she really isn't attracted to you and in that case she should relax, have fun, and introduce you to other girls.

Either way it's a win for you.

If she is in camp #1, and she is appalled you would ask her to help set you up with other girls, then have fun with it. Tease her about it. Be loose, flirt with other women anyway. Statements like the one she made actually can be invitations to build sexual tension (always and forever a good thing) if she is really just applying the brakes or trying to.

If she's in camp #2 then cool. She can help you meet other chicks you can pursue. A man is well served to have a couple of good looking women as buddies to go out with. It's good social proof and tends to up a guy's value in the eyes of the other women. If anybody scoffs at this or if a gal pal wing ever makes a statement to other girls you don't like, for example "oh he's just a friend, we're not like that" you just interrupt and say, "It's true. She's a prude and I'm a player...it bugs her. It REALLY bugs her." Then you just grin a really big grin.

In other words you own your sexual nature and have fun with it. I used to wing for a couple of my guy pals. We always had this kind of slightly sexual banter going in front of other people. I'm a hot blonde. He would say I'm too ugly for him (I obviously was not ugly) and I'd say well, he really can't dance (he obviously could), and he's really too bossy (at which point he would say "I am NOT...and then demand that I get him a drink), etc. The obvious contrast of words saying one thing and actions saying exactly the opposite is something you can use to create sexual tension, which casts you in a desirable light. My buddy and I had no intention of sleeping with each other, but the innuendo was great at creating interest from others in EACH of us, and it was a great deal of fun too honestly. I mean you are an actor for heaven's sake. Have fun with it.

She's 18 so she wouldn't make a good wing girl since she can't get into bars and club. I'm probably going to do the first thing that you said. Part of me saw what she said as nothing to take too seriously. But it just came out of the blue.

If you're confused this early then you don't have the upper hand.

Whenever you don't feel like you have the upper hand you should just hit the next button. Hot sex isn't worth changing your frame and letting the woman lead you.

Girls should always be an addition to your world. Whenever you have to enter their world to pursue them they are usually not that into you or they are entitled. Bad news bro. Stay away.

Nah, what let that stop me? Part of the reason why I am attracted to her is because she can challenge me. I like being on equal footing with the women that I date.

Believe that people will tell you half truths. 'Just friends' can mean one of two things:

a) She is not attracted at all, and will literally friend-zone you outright, with no benefits whatsoever.
b) She is attracted to you and might bang, but literally doesn't want anything more. To be fair, she's 18 years old, so why would she.

Owing to the fact she's agreed to go out, (b) might in fact be the reality, if you play your cards right. So take her out and escalate quickly, in a smooth way rather than a desperate way.

I'm thinking that it's b too. If she really wasn't interested she would have just cancelled on me.

There's clearly something that's putting people off. What do you think that is?

I'm not sure and I don't really care. I feel as though the people who don't like me and the women who treat me poorly just don't really know who I am.
I can’t get my story out to everybody. I don’t have the time to sit down with every single person and change their opinion about me. And why am I supposed to do that? I know inside who I am, and that’s what we all have to live with. You look at yourself and say, ‘Am I OK with who I am? Did I do the right things?’ I’m not going to lie, I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But mistakes are what make you better and what make you grow. There are no regrets.

The reason they don’t like me isn’t because of who I am, it’s because they just don’t know. I can live with that. Would I rather people like me? Sure. But if you don’t, well, OK! Sorry!

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I'm not sure and I don't really care. I feel as though the people who don't like me and the women who treat me poorly just don't really know who I am.

This is a very sweet and romantic notion, but you could go through your whole life with this philosophy and not be as successful with women as you might have been had you engaged a bit of introspection and acted upon it.

Of course we don't officially advocate changing oneself for the sake of others. I'd be first on board with doing it for yourself. But there may well be something really obvious, especially regards your behaviour that might easily be remedied.

The general ethos of this site and others like it is to rid ourselves of unsuccessful lifestyle choices. Dare I observe that it sometimes comes across as though change isn't on your personal agenda. And I don't advocate change for the sake of appeasing others; I mean change for the sake of your own future success.

Most guys here who have experienced benefit from being on the site will have embraced change to some extent, I can guarantee it.