Acquaintance hitting on gf in front of me (in French)

[IBreatheSpears]

My gf told me this guy we hang out with sometimes asks her to go off with him in front of me. They're both French and I'm not familiar enough with French to hear it by myself. If I heard him do it in English I'd have a word with him but I only know because she told me. We still see this guy occasionally and she wants to stay friends with him. She says he's desperate and not a threat. We're also in an open relationship, so I'm not worried about being cheated on, it's just disrespectful of him to hit on her in front of me, even in a language I don't speak. I think it's also disrespectful that she still hangs out with him, and I've said something along those lines to her but she still wants to be his friend.

How should I handle this? I don't want to forbid her from seeing him, partly because I think it's wrong and partly because she doesn't have many friends atm, but I also don't want her hanging out with a guy who does that. FWIW I do believe that he's desperate and I don't think she's attracted to him, which makes him an orbiter.

 

[Milano]

Hard to tell if she bangs him or not, but u cant trust a word she says anyway. Girls talking about guys as being "just friends" is the oldest trick in the book, to her that can be "he is just a guy that gives me creampies, I dont have feelings for him so he is therefore just a friend" . Not trying to make you crazy here, perhaps a little, but if this feels bad in ur stomack then just say that you dont like this and back off.

You reward her with none of your time for being disrespectful, and she rewards you by sucking his c0ck for disrespecting yourself.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you are in an open relationship, you better have more than one girlfriend

 

[Milano]

Unfortunately, I think it is nearly impossible to pretend to be alfa when you are starting out deeply from beta (default by feminist upbringing), you´d almost have to be a psychopath to pull that off. The goal must be to work on ourselves daily to get into a position in life where we have more than 1 girl we can continually bed until we get into a relationship with a woman we chose out of abundance (which is what most guys want) It must be done to such extremes that if you live in a smaller town, you must move to a bigger one. If you live in a small country, move to a bigger one where the opportunities are greater.

This situation is hurting you, you learned from it, now you chose to be stronger next time.
I would draw a line with her and see what she does for the heck of it, but remember, cool guys dont look at explosions

 

[Roober]

If you are in an open relationship, you better have more than one girlfriend

This!

And if you are in an open relationship, why does it even matter?

 

[Killakittie]

This!

And if you are in an open relationship, why does it even matter?

The fact it matters means he's firmly in her frame and I'm going to guess she's the only one he's banging on a regular.

I've been in an open relationship..without the relationship part. We both hooked up when we wanted and left each other alone in between. Lol

 

[IBreatheSpears]

I was sleeping with another girl until very recently. I broke it off bc it was too much effort, I only want casual sex outside my relationship. It was my idea not to be exclusive. She has pushed for monogamy from day 1, threatened breakups then recanted when I agreed to break up. This thread isn't about my gf. It's about how to handle another man making moves on my gf in front of me, but simultaneously behind my back. As I said if it were out in the open it would be easy to handle.

 

[Killakittie]

But she's not YOUR gf. Your in an open relationship ergo no commitment. I bet the dude knows your status with her and thinks it's ok to hit on her. He probably doesn't think you care. I wouldn't if I knew you two were in an open relationship.

She could also be push/pulling you because you won't give her what she wants. Either way she's fvcking with you and it's working. The guys not the problem, it's your hookup.

 

[devilkingx2]

I was sleeping with another girl until very recently. I broke it off bc it was too much effort, I only want casual sex outside my relationship. It was my idea not to be exclusive. She has pushed for monogamy from day 1, threatened breakups then recanted when I agreed to break up. This thread isn't about my gf. It's about how to handle another man making moves on my gf in front of me, but simultaneously behind my back. As I said if it were out in the open it would be easy to handle.

you don't do anything except not consider him a friend anymore, and obviously don't consider monogomy with the girl unless she ignores this guy

 

[dustmuffin]

You don't have a leg to stand on since you are in an open relationship. An open relationship is no relationship. You can f uck other people and so can she. If she decides to f uck this frenchman you have no recourse but to accept it because of how you choose to see your relationship. She may think the same way. If you were committed she might not be as open to his advances.

It's on you.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Like the others, I'm a bit confused as to why you care if your 'relationship' is 'open' anyway.

As an aside, it doesn't matter to you how men behave with your woman. Believe, they will be hitting on her whether they think she has a 'boyfriend' or not, especially when you're not a around.

Your only concern should ever be how she behaves with you, and whether or not that behaviour is satisfactory to you.

PS. As has been said, if you're in an 'open' relationship, you're not really in a relationship.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You don't have a leg to stand on since you are in an open relationship. An open relationship is no relationship. You can f uck other people and so can she. If she decides to f uck this frenchman you have no recourse but to accept it because of how you choose to see your relationship. She may think the same way. If you were committed she might not be as open to his advances.

It's on you.

All he can do is screw someone that would get under her skin. An open relationship is no "relationship" at all...

 

[SmooveMooves]

"Open Relationship."

LMAO.

 

[exhausted]

you already disrespected yourself beyond repair in your cuck relationship

Well fukn said!!

 

[exhausted]

I was sleeping with another girl until very recently. I broke it off bc it was too much effort, I only want casual sex outside my relationship. It was my idea not to be exclusive. She has pushed for monogamy from day 1, threatened breakups then recanted when I agreed to break up. This thread isn't about my gf. It's about how to handle another man making moves on my gf in front of me, but simultaneously behind my back. As I said if it were out in the open it would be easy to handle.

That ain't your gf and u aren't a man allowing her to **** other guys.

I'd knock him on his ass but that's me. Ive been boxing for 30 of my 38 years, my dna is the opposite of u as u view this girl as your gf tho let her **** other guys. She views u as a ***** as well.

 

[speed dawg]

My gf told me this guy we hang out with sometimes asks her to go off with him in front of me. They're both French and I'm not familiar enough with French to hear it by myself. If I heard him do it in English I'd have a word with him but I only know because she told me. We still see this guy occasionally and she wants to stay friends with him. She says he's desperate and not a threat. We're also in an open relationship, so I'm not worried about being cheated on, it's just disrespectful of him to hit on her in front of me, even in a language I don't speak. I think it's also disrespectful that she still hangs out with him, and I've said something along those lines to her but she still wants to be his friend.

How should I handle this? I don't want to forbid her from seeing him, partly because I think it's wrong and partly because she doesn't have many friends atm, but I also don't want her hanging out with a guy who does that. FWIW I do believe that he's desperate and I don't think she's attracted to him, which makes him an orbiter.

If he's doing it in French and you can't understand it, and he's not doing anything insulting with the body language, like rubbing her arse, I wouldn't care. To me, the fact that both are friend gives them in a natural tie I guess, I wouldn't care too much about that, they have something in common, so what.

The problem is that she's TELLING you this. She would only do that if she wants a reaction from you, and she wouldn't chance that if you had a strong frame. So first, I'd examine yourself to see where you lost your frame, and second, I'd see if she's seeking this guy out. If she isn't, who cares. Regain your frame, and he won't matter. If she is, and she's exhibiting suspicious behaviors, best drop her because she's about to drop you.

Here's a trick to get you out there chasing other girls. Just imagine her tight little arse bouncing on his c*ck while he's making fun of you in french.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

It's an open relationship in name only, the situation is that we're basically monogamous but I sleep around, with her agreement. She could but I don't think she will or has -- she works and studies a lot and spends practically all her free time with me. She has been very reluctant to agree to be non-exclusive. "Open relationship" is just an easy way to call it without explaining, because it isn't really relevant. Maybe I didn't make it clear but I was asking how to handle men subtly disrespecting me.

Thank you all for the advice anyway.

 

[RangerMIke]

She's probably just using the tool to make you jealous, and get you to be exclusive.

Next time they are at it in front of you, seriously leave them to it. Forget about her, and hit on some other women, as if she isn't even there.

Yep, just go after other women. They start talking in French, just say "I'll leave you two to it"... then go hit on other women. If she is going to go with him there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it, and his behavior is only disrespectful if you think it is... change your mind set. How is he disrespecting you? You do not own her, he isn't insulting you or attacking you... he's hitting on her and she isn't stopping him, just walk the fvck away.