Why "The Dating Market" Sucks

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Indeed. The arrogance of some of the women on this forum is astounding.

I second this. Imo, LYD and penkitten seem way more relatable and understanding than the other women here. Dunno much about sazc's persobality right now so I can't make an adequate analysis of her yet. But a lot of the women who come here do have quite an absurd ego.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I suppose it is arguable that alphas do not NEED to cold approach.

And I would wager that most real "alphas" did not learn to be alphas on a pickup forum.

From a purely structural level, "alphas" are leaders of men, and two of the EFFECTS of that CAUSE are women and money.

So you might even say that the act of doing cold approaches disqualifies one from being an alpha.

On a fundamental level, above a certain level of status, women and money are effects, and do not need to be pursued for their own sake.

And below a certain level of status, both money and women must be pursued individually.

This is true in chimps and historically among humans. One of the BENEFITS of achieving massive power (alpha status) is access to women.

Of course nowadays the word "alpha" is tossed around without much understanding, so guys tend to define it to match THEIR OWN level of success.

 

[zekko]

taiyuu, I agree with your post so much, I would like it five times if I could.

Where is this information coming from? Your own brain?

PUAs did not invent the concept of alpha males.

 

[devilkingx2]

Why would you even bother doing that?? Why not just wait for those natural situations that arise from time to time, when you are in a sociable mood, and you notice a woman signalling a sign of interest. THEN, jump up to the 'plate'.

because cold approaching is the way that you improve your skills, test/hone your game. social circle isn't the place for that since it actually matters if you fvck up while hitting on people in your social circle and it won't matter if you master your game by making all the women in your circle not want to talk to you anymore lol

Because that exponentially reduces the quantity and quality of your options as a man? Obvious.

well that's wrong, cold approaching is quantity > quality

the only way you meet quality women is by random chance, they're not any better because you're cold approaching them lol.

 

[devilkingx2]

Yes, an alpha is not someone learning game in order to mimic an alpha. An authentic alpha does not have to game a girl. He is not going to waste his time chasing some party girl who loves playing games with guys. He's aloof, he has his own thing going on, he may then notice a woman showing interest in him, and he then chooses whether to respond or not.

i didn't have to study to do well in calculus class, you are not me, me not having to study has no bearing on what you have to do.

so don't get caught up on the idea of this mythical, theoretical alpha not having to do things, because even if you've got a specific alpha in mind who has things work that way for them, they ain't you.

in my experience, even the most alpha of dudes has to meet new women through cold approaching, because if they don't they're limited to the same old pool of girls they always had

 

[zekko]

social circle isn't the place for that since it actually matters if you fvck up while hitting on people in your social circle and it won't matter if you master your game by making all the women in your circle not want to talk to you anymore lol.

Don't play "@sshole game" and this won't be a problem lol.

in my experience, even the most alpha of dudes has to meet new women through cold approaching, because if they don't they're limited to the same old pool of girls they always had

Depends on the guy. If he's a social sort of person, he might get invited to a lot of parties, and might meet more women in his regular life than he could ever hope to shag. When I was in my 20s, I was very socially active, taking every opportunity to socialize and go to parties, and I was constantly meeting new people, and new women. I did that to push myself socially because I was very shy when I was growing up.

Look at the example of a rock star "alpha". There's probably an after party every night after the concert, with new women getting invited every night. That guy doesn't need to cold approach.

 

[devilkingx2]

social circle isn't the place for that since it actually matters if you fvck up while hitting on people in your social circle and it won't matter if you master your game by making all the women in your circle not want to talk to you anymore lol

Don't play "@sshole game" and this won't be a problem lol.

Well, one of the main things about your social circle is that you have a rep, which can hurt you or help you depending on the situation you end up in.

If you were recently known as a beta, loser or weirdo and then discover the red pill, PUAs and game, you'll have an uphill battle trying to get girls who already think you're kind of lame. Having questionable game that isn't well practiced isn't going to help with that, but when cold approaching you don't have to worry about that since she'll only think you're a weirdo if your game sucks (once your game is great, social circle game becomes easier than cold approaching of course). Even if your game sucks and she thinks you're a weirdo, you'll improve your game and the next girl won't know anything about that and if your game is better this time she won't think you're a weirdo lol.

I'm sure even the best of us occasionally want to try out a new technique or style of game. However even the best of us occasionally screw it up, but if you screw it up with girls in your social circle, that could come back to bite you (benign example: one time I thought of a joke I thought was hilarious so I told it to a bunch of my circle/friends at the time, and one of the girls eventually responded with something like "oh so that's the terrible joke i've been hearing about" needless to say i promptly stopped telling that joke lol).

Finally, if you like to hit on lots of girls really fast unless your social circle is enormous you'll quickly gain a rep for it, which could be good or bad. If you smash lots of girls in your college's latin dance club or whatever you may run into a wall where every remaining girl now knows you're some sort of player who wants a harem or a series of endless ONS', and that could prevent you from getting any more of them. Alternatively if you get rejected by a lot of the girls, you could be known as a really thirsty/desperate guy who'll try to bang anything that moves which would ruin your chances with the rest of them (yes I know that there is also the chance that being known as a badass player could help your game and end up turning your entire salsa class into your personal harem consisting of countless latinas, but it's still risky).

It is for these reasons that I would tell any guy to master his game fully before trying to get girls in his social circles.

Depends on the guy. If he's a social sort of person, he might get invited to a lot of parties, and might meet more women in his regular life than he could ever hope to shag. When I was in my 20s, I was very socially active, taking every opportunity to socialize and go to parties, and I was constantly meeting new people, and new women. I did that to push myself socially because I was very shy when I was growing up.

Look at the example of a rock star "alpha". There's probably an after party every night after the concert, with new women getting invited every night. That guy doesn't need to cold approach.

well in those cases they'd cold approach for the same reason: a different kind of girl.

after all, not every girl is a party animal, so if he wants to date/bang a new type of girl that can't be found at a party or a club, they would have to start cold approaching. just like a college student who wants to date girls outside of his classes/clubs/study groups has to cold approach. however aside from that I can see why they wouldn't need nor want to ever bother with cold approaching.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Please use language properly.

An alpha does not game women. A gamer/ player/ PUA games women by mimicking the alpha. This is all there in black in white in game theory.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

When you turn from outer game to the whole 'inner game' thing, where you look to 'game yourself', you truly try to become an alpha. This should eventually abolish the need, and neediness, of game.

But as they say, be careful what you wish for. Because the alpha is simply not that interested in running around after scatter-brained girls. The image you should have in mind is the lion supremely and aloofly sunning himself.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Got fvck all to do with chimps and animals:

"5. Etymology Hate

Hater: Your definition of an alpha male is false. In the animal kingdom, the alpha male is leader of the pack, not a cad/badboy/jerk who pumps and dumps women.

Isn’t it just like a nerd to get hysterical over the appropriation of a narrow-sense scientific term to conveniently illustrate broader truths about men and women."

(Source, for those who are interested)

So if it's got "Fvck all to do with chimps and animals," why was the term borrowed from it's use in chimps and animals?

What would a more appropriate definition be?

Why would you refer to me as a "hater" for having a definition different than yours?

 

[Tenacity]

Yeah, well when that lion actually gets laid, then it can be a more mouthy lion.

Until then, the lion is more like a eunuch. Taking girls out on dates, and chauffeuring them around for nothing.

You are just making excuses.

If people want to rationalize their avoidance, that's ultimately up to them. That goes for the cold-approach, and for being sexual. You are just limiting yourselves.

Deesade, this is off topic but YOU and Poon King need to start arguing without personal attacks. We are all adult men here and there's absolutely no reason threads with decent commentary/discussion should be getting locked out from FURTHER decent commentary/discussion....because you guys can't god damn debate your points without personally attacking someone.

Can you please stop it? You can state your position without the personal attacks, the personal attacks don't even have anything to DO with the damn subject matter 80% of the time.

Thank you.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I do see you as a bit misguided.

How so?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Go and read his journal thread from ages back, and then tell me that I'm wrong.

We have literally the worst white knight ever on SoSuave (that's why I remember him) giving his 'wisdom' about mindset.

Almost every post is some form of game-denial, or obscurantism, despite having some of the worst inner-game imaginable.

So you, my friend, don't even understand what I'm saying in the context of this discussion.

If anyone just made a personal attack, unrelated to anything whatsoever, it was you just then.

But at least you said "please", and "thank you".

Game 'denial'? Like someone who denies the holocaust? Like an ostrich that can't face reality with its head in the sand?

Again, someone who is stuck in a game mindset is not an alpha. They have just learnt to mimic the alpha and become a skillful PUA. Denial, if anything, means rejecting the reality of this. This no doubt leads to the kind of delusional thinking where one rants and raves for hours on an internet site whilst thinking themselves alpha.

Game should at be best a stage, or a phase in life. Stay in that phase, or mistake it for Reality, and you'll never gain maturity.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

are 99% of the time rationalizing their own fear and laziness. Simply don't have the balls to do it themselves.

A valid point, however, despite having my share of cognitive dissonance, that wasn't one of them.

Alternatively, in your own words:

I was referring to the various meanings of "alpha" when specifically referring to anything "game" related.

Read the Rational Male, if you really care. Certainly do so, if you are going to use it in framing others.

Rational Male's definition is likely different than others. (Not sure what you meant by the bolded part.)

What is your definition of "alpha"? More or less the same in Rational Male? I've already expressed mine.

Please indulge me.

Then, it would follow, that politicians and suchlike are 'alpha', when in reality many prefer nothing more than seeing a femd0m and licking her boots.

Two issues. Politicians and others who have power over men, all else equal, are more "desired" by women, all else equal. Whether they act on that is separate issue.

And speaking of cognitive dissonance:

people who say things like this:

For a start, you leave out those of us who have couldn't give a sh*t about 'leading men'.

are 99% of the time rationalizing their own fear and laziness. Simply don't have the balls to do it themselves.

Just so we understand each other, you may believe I'm too lazy/scared to do cold approaches, so I define "alpha: that precludes doing cold approaches, and am therefore misguided.

Using the exact same logic, I could say you're rationalizing your definition of alpha to preclude you from attempting to gain power and influence over others, and are therefore misguided.

 

[BeTheChange]

Go and read his journal thread from ages back, and then tell me that I'm wrong.

We have literally the worst white knight ever on SoSuave (that's why I remember him) giving his 'wisdom' about mindset.

Almost every post is some form of game-denial, or obscurantism, despite having some of the worst inner-game imaginable.

So you, my friend, don't even understand what I'm saying in the context of this discussion.

If anyone just made a personal attack, unrelated to anything whatsoever, it was you just then.

But at least you said "please", and "thank you".

LOL. I was curious about this response so I unhid the reply - can't on default see his posts.

Looks like Ten is playing some weird BPD ninja tactic. My gf used to this all the time.

Insult you and then accuse you of insulting her. Gaslighting at its finest. As if we can't just scroll up (or read another recent thread) and see Ten doing the exact same thing he is kindly "pleading" you guys to stop doing.

Might work in a world where people had memories like goldfish.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

He's talking about the disassociative ChristopherColumbus with his his word salad semantics and sexless and accomplishment-free game fr thread. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-adventures-of-christopher-columbus.236315/

This is the guy lecturing everyone on what "alpha" is...


however i agree with everything you said about Tenacity lol...The circular repetitive arguments he makes are classic Cluster B

Well, I have no trouble meeting women. I get the odd date now and then. I'm sure I'll meet a suitable woman for me sometime. I am not ***** whipped as some seem here. I'm quite content with how things are going for me with women at the moment. Each to their own. I'm just saying that chasing after scatter-brained girls may not be the pinnacle of existence, and the authentic alpha male realizes this.

Guys go on about not putting a women on the pedestal... and then go on to put women on the pedestal in general terms [thinking and posting about it 24/7].... as if sleeping with women were the main end of life.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

He's talking about the disassociative ChristopherColumbus with his his word salad semantics and sexless and accomplishment-free game fr thread. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-adventures-of-christopher-columbus.236315/

This is the guy lecturing everyone on what "alpha" is...


however i agree with everything you said about Tenacity lol...The circular repetitive arguments he makes are classic Cluster B

Thanks for finding my old thread for me. I shall maybe post there my thoughts on game, and the post-game life... should anyone be interested to read.

 

[zekko]

I know the Rational Male defines "alpha" as a mindset, but that doesn't make it so. Alpha is a position. I used to argue that with Rollo here when he was a more frequent poster.

When we talk about mindsets, I've always thought the term "masculine mindset" to be more accurate.

Being good or dominant with women does not make you an alpha. Attracting women is a RESULT of being alpha. An alpha is the top male. Women go for alphas because they want the top male. PUAs try to mimic alphas, just as Christopher said. That should be common knowledge.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:5

This is a site about self improvement. If you can't even admit there is a problem, why are you here searching for a solution?

Personally, what I am interested in is how to integrate my relations with women into my wider life. I am not interested in either ignoring them, or pedestalling them, i.e. making them my central concern. It is a matter of having perspective and a sense of proportion.

 

[zekko]

Guys that need their social circle to boost them up have problems.

Alpha is situational, and it definitely is more a mindset than something fixed.

It's not social circle, it's status.

I agree alpha is partly situational, but that doesn't mean it's all luck. You have to have the ability. Having the right mindset can certainly help get you to an alpha position, but the mindset alone does not make you an alpha.

If it did, every guy reading pickup material would be alpha. PUAs who have a product to sell love this idea. "Learn these secrets, and you will be an alpha male" - or, as Corey Wayne would call it, a 3% man.