This will likely happen to you so read carefully. My date (not exclusive) had gone cold on me after a 3 day vacation last month (how many times has that happened). She was sick when she returned, then hard to reach, but after Christmas things seemed to return to normal. I hadn't seen her in four weeks as of our last date.
During dinner I just asked her point blank: "So did you get laid on your trip?" and she looked down in submission. The proper answer was a emotionless "no". I said "That's a yes" and she admitted running into someone she knew there and was in a fight with her girlfriend, et cetera. I won't say it didn't come as a punch to the gut. I sat back and looked at her. I reminded her that her behavior had done a 180 and that this explained why. She didn't make the connection. She insisted this had nothing to do with her suddenly ceasing contact for a couple weeks.
She then said "I'm sorry if this made you jealous"! I said "You can't make me jealous. Well, you can actually. Find a man who can take me in a fight and who earns more than I do." Then I said "Face it. You dumpster dove". We wrapped up dinner and left without finishing our wine and that disappointed her. However, by the walk to the car I was over it. I said "I can't hold it against you if you were honest." On the ride I said "I shouldn't talk. I have spent the night with two women since I last saw you." and she said "See!?"
So I said "But I like you the best" and she said "I like you the best. There hasn't been one other time I was with anyone since you!" so we made out at the red light, went straight home, and ended up having the best sex yet. She confessed she is falling in love. Afterward she went on and on about how she made a mistake being with the other guy and I accepted her sincere apology.
In a perfect world you'd have a girl who is faithful from day one but that rarely happens these days. Here were the keys to handling her having had a ONS:
1) Date an honest girl (loyalty only comes after time)
2) Cut her some slack (you can't have it both ways, honesty and innocence, usually)
3) Date other women (and let her know)
4) Let her know she is special to you (she is your favorite out of several women)
5) Make sure you are special to her (she needs to reciprocate your feelings)
6) Instead of letting her stories make you jealous, let them make you desire her more (settle it in your bedroom)
7) Don't hold it against her in the future (she will deeply resent that)
During dinner I just asked her point blank: "So did you get laid on your trip?" and she looked down in submission. The proper answer was a emotionless "no". I said "That's a yes" and she admitted running into someone she knew there and was in a fight with her girlfriend, et cetera. I won't say it didn't come as a punch to the gut. I sat back and looked at her. I reminded her that her behavior had done a 180 and that this explained why. She didn't make the connection. She insisted this had nothing to do with her suddenly ceasing contact for a couple weeks.
She then said "I'm sorry if this made you jealous"! I said "You can't make me jealous. Well, you can actually. Find a man who can take me in a fight and who earns more than I do." Then I said "Face it. You dumpster dove". We wrapped up dinner and left without finishing our wine and that disappointed her. However, by the walk to the car I was over it. I said "I can't hold it against you if you were honest." On the ride I said "I shouldn't talk. I have spent the night with two women since I last saw you." and she said "See!?"
So I said "But I like you the best" and she said "I like you the best. There hasn't been one other time I was with anyone since you!" so we made out at the red light, went straight home, and ended up having the best sex yet. She confessed she is falling in love. Afterward she went on and on about how she made a mistake being with the other guy and I accepted her sincere apology.
In a perfect world you'd have a girl who is faithful from day one but that rarely happens these days. Here were the keys to handling her having had a ONS:
1) Date an honest girl (loyalty only comes after time)
2) Cut her some slack (you can't have it both ways, honesty and innocence, usually)
3) Date other women (and let her know)
4) Let her know she is special to you (she is your favorite out of several women)
5) Make sure you are special to her (she needs to reciprocate your feelings)
6) Instead of letting her stories make you jealous, let them make you desire her more (settle it in your bedroom)
7) Don't hold it against her in the future (she will deeply resent that)