Needy behavior - she says she's doesn't want nothing atm

[TheGambino]

Ok like I said earlier 2 dates, last club night I acted needy and I was drunk.

On the dates we made out 10times or so, we had fun, everything perfect.

Today

Me: Hey lets hang out at my place this week...
9 hours of silence
Me: You know.. Never mind.
Her: Hey
Her: It's not the moment for me now...
Her: You probably want more but I don't need that atm...
Me: Not really
Me: I don't even know you that well.. I want to get to know a girl before I want more. I don't think about that now. Well were done then.

Ok guys again.....

Whatever you do, be patient and don't be needy, you will ruin everything. Yours sincerley Gambino

 

[Juanto]

Did she reply to that last msg?

 

[TheGambino]

Nop nothing yet she came online though, I just deleted her number. We had a great fling where she talked about relationship but I really f8cked up at the club I guess.

 

[Poon King]

The WOMAN should always be the one chasing the "relationship". Your only job as a man is to get laid. ONLY job.

One strong point deesade always makes is "relationships are a woman's frame". I agree with him 100%. You always lose the game when you play by women's rules and embrace feminine tendencies like co-dependency.

Here is how the same conversation would of happened if it was me:

Me: Hey lets hang out at my place this week...
Her: 9 hours of silence
Me: Silence

She was playing chicken and you let her win. I NEVER let women win. They go silent.. I shift my attention to other plates or other priorities. Sooner or later they always come back with a bullsh!t excuse. If they wait too long to reach out.. I might ignore them permanently. Low interest.

 

[Dan Bautista]

ATM=money or ATM=@ss to mouth? Lol

At the moment.......

 

[dustmuffin]

You learned something. That's good. You are a better man now. Be thankful for that. Its a valuable lesson.

 

[TheGambino]

Its just stupid to lose women on own mistakes...

 

[Reykhel]

Its just stupid to lose women on own mistakes...

It's stupid to repeat the same mistakes. I'm misquoting here, something from a well known book "life doesn't speak to us, instead it pushes us around. It pushes us around to teach us a lesson. There are those who kick back and they end up taking it out on their spouses, their employers etc there are those who give up and quit. Defeated by life. And then there are those who quietly learn the lesson and move on. They move forward in life"

Let me also add that you cannot 'lose' women. They are never yours to possess. The nature of all relationships is impermanent. Just like the passing clouds in the sky.

Yes we can control our behaviour and it will have an effect on those within the paremeters of our boundary. Nonetheless, we cannot control their reactions.

 

[bigneil]

Any talk of relationships, commitment, marriage and kids is HER department. That is feminine energy.

Men approach those things from a position of weakness and insecurity. It's as if they think they can sign some contract that will prevent hotter guys from taking their woman. If hotter guys exist and are available to her, he has to try to become more like them, not restrict her from seeing them.

 

[bigneil]

Breakdown of at least five errors by OP:

Me: Hey lets hang out at my place this week... - ERROR 1 - She should be initiating, ERROR 2 - Hang out at your place this week? Meaning you are available any day? Meaning you are broke and lame? No offer for anything in particular like dinner? Just sex at your dorm?
9 hours of silence - POSSIBLE LOW INTEREST
Me: You know.. Never mind. - OK but the "you know" part was overkill
Her: Hey - LIKELY LOW INTEREST
Her: It's not the moment for me now... - CONFIRMED LOW INTEREST
Her: You probably want more but I don't need that atm... - REALLY LOW INTEREST
Me: Not really - ERROR 3 - You should have walked away
Me: I don't even know you that well.. I want to get to know a girl before I want more. I don't think about that now. Well were done then. ERROR 4 - You don't try to explain things with reason. ERROR 5 - And you don't get whiny and end things, you just do nothing.

 

[TheGambino]

Yep ty guys..she did fly fly complete ghost both of us now. NEXT

 

[LastManstanding]

Its just stupid to lose women on own mistakes...

You "lost" a woman who is probably not worth it.

Ask yourself this. If your FWB got drunk at the club and acted needy "one time" would you kick her to the curb? I'll lay out two scenarios.

You have no other women and your IL is high?
Hell NO, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

You actively spinning plates and they all are receptive to hanging out with you.
You probably will be annoyed and kick her to the curb for a while.

Really self-centered to act this way so ask yourself. What scenario do you think she is in?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You "lost" a woman who is probably not worth it.

Ask yourself this. If your FWB got drunk at the club and acted needy "one time" would you kick her to the curb? I'll lay out two scenarios.

You have no other women and your IL is high?
Hell NO, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

You actively spinning plates and they all are receptive to hanging out with you.
You probably will be annoyed and kick her to the curb for a while.

Really self-centered to act this way so ask yourself. What scenario do you think she is in?

"Needy" might mean she wanted to see you, was missing you and wanted to cuddle after sex. Is that so terrible? Whereas the other females aren't "needy" cause they are messing with multiple guys.

 

[LastManstanding]

"Needy" might mean she wanted to see you, was missing you and wanted to cuddle after sex. Is that so terrible? Whereas the other females aren't "needy" cause they are messing with multiple guys.

It's stupid I know.

We live in a world where we have to "feint apathy" at our desired partners in order to generate attraction. I haven't lived in any other era besides my own so I can't state whether or not it's always been that way.

If the promoted dating tactics taught to us by society and the ACTUAL effective social dynamic wasn't azz-backwards this forum wouldn't even exist.

Guy: I missed you ________.
(girl plays games and has been avoiding guy)
Girl: I missed you too _________.
(Girl is really thinking, "what a loser for saying he misses me. I'm going to dump him and find someone who doesn't give too ****s about me)

This can be vice-versa but I just wanted to bring to light how dumb it is. I play these games and it is very effective, but I don't like it one bit.

 

[TheGambino]

And there we go.

Lack of options at this moment, I dropped some plates and went for her in DJ way.

On snapchat she posts pictures hanging out with a dude tonight, chilling. That's wassup, she had options, I acted needy and weak one time and flyfly she goes to one of her other plates. Her interest level was pretty high before my f8ckup night, turned 180 degrees.

 

[marmel75]

And there we go.

Lack of options at this moment, I dropped some plates and went for her in DJ way.

On snapchat she posts pictures hanging out with a dude tonight, chilling. That's wassup, she had options, I acted needy and weak one time and flyfly she goes to one of her other plates. Her interest level was pretty high before my f8ckup night, turned 180 degrees.

The only way you can truly know a woman's interest level is if she is fvcking you...then you 100% can be sure she is interested in you on some level, even if its only a sexual level.
Saying somenoe had "high interest" if you aren't fvcking them is really putting the cart before the horse...they may enjoy being around you and like you in a "lets go hang out and have fun way" but they would never entertain actually fvcking you. I never worry about interest level because its not worth trying to decipher and a lot of times its simply wrong. I've fvcked plenty of women I didn't think were interested in me in that way, and I have had quite a few I KNEW I was going to fvck that I never heard from again..

 

[raider87]

Man its a cold game. This is why the guy in the other thread wanted to take a break. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much, you reached out and tried to make something happen, which is the main thing. Sometimes women expect too much, i wish they had more empathy for the mans role in dating.

 

[TheGambino]

Would it be stupid to reach out after NYE? I might see her this saturday because she is going to party in the same city as me... No idea how to act, probably aloof and not aproaching her.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Nop nothing yet she came online though, I just deleted her number. We had a great fling where she talked about relationship but I really f8cked up at the club I guess.

The fun adventures of Captain Drunk brain steers the ship...

 

[EyeBRollin]

The WOMAN should always be the one chasing the "relationship". Your only job as a man is to get laid. ONLY job.

One strong point deesade always makes is "relationships are a woman's frame". I agree with him 100%. You always lose the game when you play by women's rules and embrace feminine tendencies like co-dependency.

Here is how the same conversation would of happened if it was me:

Me: Hey lets hang out at my place this week...
Her: 9 hours of silence
Me: Silence

She was playing chicken and you let her win. I NEVER let women win. They go silent.. I shift my attention to other plates or other priorities. Sooner or later they always come back with a bullsh!t excuse. If they wait too long to reach out.. I might ignore them permanently. Low interest.

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