For anyone who went through a BPD/Crazy girl/Psycho nightmare

[darktriadmorbid]

Firstly I'd love to thank a lot of members here.
@Bible_Belt @Desdinova @penkitten @Danger @Infern0 @jophil28 @LARaiders85
And many more whose contribution helped me out in many ways.

Call me a beta chump or anything, but having slept with 10+ women in my life I thought I could handle this naive little girl who caused proximal insanity in my life.

Rules went out the window.

Ive been generally ruthless due to Narcissism brought out my own BPD mother.
Used to devalue every girl in a week earlier,
but at the genuinely seeming helpless girl
from a divorced family,
who was depressed,
cut herself,
a victim who had been 'dumped' many times,
emotionally abused through a divorce
with a childlike wonder
whilst being blindsided with awesome continuous sex.

I admit I caught feelings.

But when most of the **** tests started, they seemed naive and I held frame.

But I'll tell you triangulation is a *****, when done with 10 guys one by one every other day.
I caved in.

And with these girls even if you don't care they will cheat or sabotage it nonetheless someday or the other.
Having a 'monagamous relationship' is seemingly impossible.

It was the case of an permanently insecure girl getting by over me by beating me by bringing me down to her level.
I was dumbfounded.

Those red flags had a normal strong girl had portrayed, I would've ran for the hills like I've done many times before but the childlike helpless wonder makes you stay.
Along with the mad lays and a sandwich afterwards.

Thanks to you guys. After a couple of hundred lays. No financial, social or legal loss I came out of it, the first moment sex started to be controlled by her.

Permanent NC since months now and never broke it once.
Today when I felt the power of taking responsibility of my own actions and resolved to quit being lazy and go out there again, to hell with the crazy ***** attitude came in.


The only mindset that helped me was, if I had the pick of the litter of awesome hot women out there, would I continue to ruminate about the psycho ?

The answer was a resounding NO.

What has been stopping me then ?

Not being in that frame.

What's the solution ?

Quit being lazy and work to achieve that frame and hold it permanently.

Thank you guys. And thanks so suave, cannot thank you enough to help this sink in.

P.S Do recommend some resource, not on gaming girls or strategies yet, just on how to be the alpha dark triad guy a man would want to be.

 

[JohnChops]

who to be an alpha male by john alexander was my favorite book, out of all the books I have read. I would say Book of Pook is the 2nd best then Corey Waynes 300 page book is the 3rd best. However, the first one cuts through the bs and just gets to the point.

Also, I fought through some BPD **** , it sucks, but god damn it congrats on moving on brotha. Keep NC, dont respond, she will come back, stay strong.

 

[Serenity]

Wait, what is it really you want? What's your vision? Describe to me how your life situation ideally would have to be.

You just wanna fvck women or do you crave mountains of respect, validation and praise? That's what dark triad personalities desire usually, whatever they lacked earlier in life because of fvcked up families. Do you fear not being in control? Does that make you feel the need to control others?

 

[Infern0]

Think most people who escape their first bad bpd relationship go into a state of shifting priorities for a while. I know I did. Didn't get a stable sense of self for several months after.

Oh by the way mine made an appearance on boxing day after 4 months of silence.

I ignored and vanished.

 

[GunShow85]

with a childlike wonder

.

I saw this on another thread and is fascinating aspect of borderlines, which I believe is effect of stunted childhood development.

"Oh my gosh, my gosh!!! We are really on a plane really taking a vacation! I can't believe we are on a plane!!"

"You GOT ME a gift!!!!"

or you say something sorta funny and they die laughing like a kid would do

A lot then even like Disney movies and children's books despite being 30-yr olds.

Unbelievable excitement over relatively small things, which seems to be genuine. Must also involve excessive emotions/inability to control emotions.

Very bizarre but also FUN to be around.

 

[Red Legg]

In my 27 year DJ career I have had about 10 true BPD women.I suggest trying a BPD crash derby.I had 3 BPD plates at the same time once and would just wreck them into each other by making the other jealous.BPD women are fun IF you can divorce your feelings completely but it doesn't sound like you are capable of this!!

 

[darktriadmorbid]

Wait, what is it really you want? What's your vision? Describe to me how your life situation ideally would have to be.

You just wanna fvck women or do you crave mountains of respect, validation and praise? That's what dark triad personalities desire usually, whatever they lacked earlier in life because of fvcked up families. Do you fear not being in control? Does that make you feel the need to control others?

My vision includes to be great at whatever I choose to in life, which includes taking care of my own body, mind and frame.

Invest in activities which create value for my own self and people simultaneously.

Once I've mastered my own mind and become self aware and of my surroundings and how to handle them, I'd proceed to learn the right skills to handle women who I would I want have sex with AND choose whom I want to give my commitment to.

 

[Serenity]

@darktriadmorbid That sounds just fine, except creating value for other people isn't exactly dark triad. A dark triad alpha serves himself mostly at the expense of others, I don't think you really understand what a dark triad alpha is.

 

[darktriadmorbid]

@darktriadmorbid That sounds just fine, except creating value for other people isn't exactly dark triad. A dark triad alpha serves himself mostly at the expense of others, I don't think you really understand what a dark triad alpha is.

What I've come to believe is that the people who do not create value for other people, do not profit in the long run. Look at inventors like Edison, he was a triad dark scheming alpha who fvcked over his competitors to create something for the people.

Similarly Zuckerberg. And Steve Jobs. Ruthless Dark Triads. They might not look like cool bad@ss criminals who take from people and run. it's all about the mind and the frame. Just my opinion.

 

[fastlife]

You are not going to be happy doubling down on your Narcissism, effective or not.

This. Your narcissism--and codependency is a form of narcissism--is what took you down this road to begin with. BPDs (and plenty of other women) will appeal to your ego to manipulate you. It's one of the most insidious, effective, and predictable forms of manipulation and, unless you practice extreme vigilance and commit to your true self (and not some grandiose false self like it sounds like you're leaning toward) you'll continue to fall prey to emotional predators instead of people who can offer real, tangible value to your life.

Your ego, of course, will resist any of this; but it's the single most important thing you can do for yourself.

Cluster B's and our addiction to them, usually stems from an inability to practice self love (and I'm not talking about the compensatory 'self love' of the ego), usually through some form of childhood trauma, whether that's as obvious as full out abuse or whether your parents expected unrealistic perfectionism or your family was codependent and its dynamics were rife with covert contracts. Cluster B's serve as a proxy for self love--that's why it feels so good and they make you 'feel complete' and you lose your autonomy and sense of self.

 

[Serenity]

What I've come to believe is that the people who do not create value for other people, do not profit in the long run. Look at inventors like Edison, he was a triad dark scheming alpha who fvcked over his competitors to create something for the people.

Similarly Zuckerberg. And Steve Jobs. Ruthless Dark Triads. They might not look like cool bad@ss criminals who take from people and run. it's all about the mind and the frame. Just my opinion.

You are right that people who do not contribute do not profit in the long run.

Dark triad personalities do not contribute, they do not understand and certainly do not practice what you're talking about.

Fvcking over competition by making something better is fair competition, dark triad personalities do not care about playing fairly. They cheat, lie, steal and ruin their competitors.

I do not think of badass criminals when you say dark triad alpha, I think about people who wouldn't hesitate to fvck you over if they can gain something from it. Being better than someone is not destructive for that someone.

You still don't seem to understand what dark triad really is.

 

[darktriadmorbid]

You are right that people who do not contribute do not profit in the long run.

Dark triad personalities do not contribute, they do not understand and certainly do not practice what you're talking about.

Fvcking over competition by making something better is fair competition, dark triad personalities do not care about playing fairly. They cheat, lie, steal and ruin their competitors.

I do not think of badass criminals when you say dark triad alpha, I think about people who wouldn't hesitate to fvck you over if they can gain something from it. Being better than someone is not destructive for that someone.

You still don't seem to understand what dark triad really is.

I do because Edison fvcked over tesla by taking credit for his work similar to the Facebook founder who fvcked over the people who hired him. For their own personal gain. Look at trump he's a dark triad alpha. I do understand what it's about. But they do it in ways they don't get caught. Anyone can cheat lie and steal, the catch is not to get caught.

 

[Serenity]

I do because Edison fvcked over tesla by taking credit for his work similar to the Facebook founder who fvcked over the people who hired him. For their own personal gain. Look at trump he's a dark triad alpha. I do understand what it's about. But they do it in ways they don't get caught. Anyone can cheat lie and steal, the catch is not to get caught.

I do know about how Edison and Zuckerberg operated, wouldn't go as far as saying dark triad but certainly immoral.

I wouldn't say they do it in ways they don't get caught since you, me and everyone educated about it knows what these untrustworthy fvckers did. They weren't thrown in jail, but they aren't exactly the dudes I'd trust or admire. Having a bad reputation isn't favorable for you and if you plan on screwing people over it's impossible to avoid.

Sure you might still have success, but only a slice of the potential success you could have gotten with good rep.

 

[bigneil]

"BPD Crazy Psycho Nightmare"?? The title alone is evidence of a minimum of 3 mistakes that were made by OP. How can a girl become 4 levels of bad? You should have walked away at level 1 bad.

But oh, the poor OP needs a hug because she was just a really bad girl and he deserved a really good girl.

 

[Billtx49]

"BPD Crazy Psycho Nightmare"?? The title alone is evidence of a minimum of 3 mistakes that were made by OP. How can a girl become 4 levels of bad? You should have walked away at level 1 bad.

But oh, the poor OP needs a hug because she was just a really bad girl and he deserved a really good girl.

When she starts throwing sex at you like a porn star and lets you do anything with her and to her you ever wanted to do in bed, it's really easy to catch feels and ignore the smaller red flags until the massive big one drops.
Only choice then is to exit stage left.

 

[bigneil]

When she starts throwing sex at you like a porn star and lets you do anything with her and to her you ever wanted to do in bed, it's really easy to catch feels and ignore the smaller red flags until the massive big one drops.
Only choice then is to exit stage left.

I agree. That's a good problem to have. But after sex, if you walked away until she chased you, and you did that exclusively after each encounter (going 2 weeks if necessary), I don't see how you would have encountered so many issues. She can't be chasing you and dumping you at the same time. You must have asked her for more than she was willing to give, probably by expecting a commitment and overtexting.

 

[Billtx49]

She doesn't chase and dump you at the same time. She chases you, then when it starts to get too intimate for her, aka comfort zone, she chases you away or dumps you, sometimes going as far as physical assult to drive you away. Then she tries a hoover later on in the future when you get to far away.
My only BPD ex started using my daughter and friends to spy on me and acting like a branch swing was in progress while living with her current man in his house for close to three years. Btw - I am married.
No one can define krazy.

 

[Infern0]

I agree. That's a good problem to have. But after sex, if you walked away until she chased you, and you did that exclusively after each encounter (going 2 weeks if necessary), I don't see how you would have encountered so many issues. She can't be chasing you and dumping you at the same time. You must have asked her for more than she was willing to give, probably by expecting a commitment and overtexting.

Rookie mistakes big Neil.

I myself went through this, it's kind of a rite of passage for guys who grew up with messed up folks.

I think everyone who gets mangled like this deserves a break so long as they learn from it. If it happens again then there is a bigger issue than a knowledge gap and some minor tidy up that needs doing.

 

[penkitten]

What is a dark triad? It's a term I must have missed.

 

[penkitten]

Stay away from the crazy ones. You can't fix it. You can't control it. Neither can they - and that's the whole problem. It's in the dna. The drama only gets worse. The longer you stay in a relationship with them, it's as if you accept it all. You can find better quality.