Hello.
This is a question I ask to my fellow single men.
I would like to get your point of view on something.
See, I'm not shy by any means, but I'm no extrovert either. I see no need to go out of my way to please women like buying their affection or appearing of facebook pics with them.
I'd like to know: whenever you're in activities with other people such as family suppers, how do you deal with them constantly pressuring you into finding a woman by showing their couples in your faces?
After you've internalized a-lot of the stuff you've read on this website and others (particularly for me, Rollo's 'Rational Male' Blog) you begin to realize that a-lot of these people who are "showing their couples in your faces" aren't in as a fulfilling of a relationship as you think they are or as they'd like you to believe they are.
My point is that once you've ran game on a woman and gotten into an LTR with her and done it the right way where she's willingly wanting to and enjoying submitting to you and your male/female ying yang ratio is right where it needs to be you realize that just because two people "have each other" doesn't mean that behind closed doors that relationship isn't totally f*cked up or unfulfilling for one of them or both.
Case and point. I have a really good friend of mine who I grew up with, hell me and him were in preschool together. His is about as "straight and narrow" as a guy my age gets. Super religious, has lived in our same hometown his whole life and is very "blue bill". I don't really like using the terms blue pill and red pill to describe men but I know everyone on this forum will know what I mean by that, so be it. But, yes, he's very blue pill. He's also 27 and recently got married.
My friend has always been a reserved quiet guy. Didn't talk a whole lot. In fact we played baseball growing up together and his nick name on the team was "silent Joe". But he never minded. I could tell it was due to social anxiety because I was the exact same way but he never acknowledged that. It was always "hey man, I've got nothing to say". Again, a blue pill "things are the way they are, God's in control, I got nothing to say, etc." type of view point.
So I show up to his wedding rehearsal and I'd never met his wife before that day. Good god almighty...
From the second she stormed into the sanctuary I was so sad for my friend. This girl was loud, arrogant and I could tell she was just a bossy person overall. The dynamic between her and my friend was clearly one in which she was proudly wearing the pants. During the actual rehearsal she at one point, in a bossy tone, snipped at my friend to "put your shoulders back!". Later on that day at the rehearsal dinner she went on to tell how my friend proposed to her and the way she told the story sounded like she was more annoyed with him than anything. "Well he called me one day and I was at home on the couch watching TV. He asked me if I wanted to go get pizza and walk on the beach. Sure...I said". It was the same way and with the same tone someone would describe buying a f*cking blender for their kitchen. "Well I wanted to make a smoothie and I knew that the Wal-Mart on the state line probably had em, so what the heck I went and got one".
Another case and point. I grew up with a guy and was good friends with someone who was the total opposite of the my friend who just got married. This other guy was a natural. He was knee deep in ***** all through out middle school and high school and has been ever since. He's currently got 3 different kids by 3 different women. For guys who have never had sex or had a relationship you can see why they'd envy him quite a bit, despite having 3 kids to take care of and no education outside of high school. But even with his new woman, he told me that they broke up for a month before they got married and she had sex with 2 other guys in that time. But now they're back together. Also, she's pressed charges on him for "strangulation" which she later dropped because it was "just a fight".
My point? If you look at both these 'couples' on facebook, ANYONE would get jealous. But the dynamic in the relationship isn't always so cut and dry in real life. Is getting laid easy? Yes it can be. Is getting into a relationship easy? Yes it can be. But what about finding a woman
who actually likes you? A woman who respects and loves you and wants you to lead in the relationship? A woman who comes from a good family and shares the same types of values that you do? A woman who understands that a relationship is about commitment and doesn't put herself into situations that would encourage cheating? A woman who actually enhances your life and makes you a better man as opposed to simply increasing your facebook likes? Is that easy to find?
Hell no it isn't.
Now am I trying to sound high and mighty compared to my two friends I spoke about above? Of course not. I'm 0/2 in LTR's and have a-lot of stuff I need to work on in my life. But I refuse to hide behind the facade of a "glorious union" to act like my life is perfect. Do I want a relationship? Of course. But am I going to overlook some red flags I've ignored in the past or disrespect or diminishing interest levels from a woman and try to save the relationship because I simply want to be in a relationship? No, I'm not.
So to the OP - not everything is what it appears, especially when you have two people shoving their "wonderful life together" down your through online or in person. You've gotta look out for yourself and if you decide to be exclusive with a woman it must be because you want to and she is genuinely excited and happy to be with YOU. Social pressure has probably caused so many people to get married and then ultimately divorce that it would be overwhelming to know the real number.
woo
