Helpful Tips on Relationships

[old_skoolr]

So I've been with my gf for pretty much a year, and being my first relationship, I've noticed come up with some things to help young DJs out there.

1. Relationships (Sex = Time + Attention) - If shes not giving you sex, withdraw the time and attention, I've used this technique a few times, and it works like a charm.

2. Make Decisions - Alot of guys get stumped by this. There always confused that if you take a girl somewhere she might not like it. Dude, shes a girl, if she doesnt like it she'll tell you, besides its the effort of making plans with her is more important then where you go. It shows you care about the relationship. Making a reservation at a restaurant takes 2 min out of your day, but to her it means so much more.

3. Don't stop being dirty - Remember all the dirty stuff you did when you were dating?? Notice how it all stopped, dont let it. Keep doing it, I fell into this trap for awhile, when we were officially dating I'd stop sending her **** pics and texting her how I felt banging her over her kitchen bench and blowing on her back. Then I started doing it again, and she responded positively and told me she missed it. I guess when you have a gf, you sorta pedalize her by not treating her like a slvt as much, but I think when you stop doing stuff like that, you lose abit of spark.

4. Boundaries - Set boundaries early, there important to know what is acceptable or not in the relationships. My gf, can go hang out with who ever she wants, girl or guy friend, she tells me beforehand and it doesnt bother me. I have complete trust in her, until she gives me a reason not to trust her. Mind you I hang out with my girl mates as well and my gf knows. The point is setting boundaries early, helps her understand what you deem acceptable.

5. Constant Attention - I know her messaging you every day is annoying, trust me I understand it. I get a routine call from my gf every day on her way to work, asking me how was my day. Most times I come back with "meh usual". Put up with it!!! Some people may see at as beta, but if your gf is treating you like a god damn king and only asks that she talks you to every day, is that really so much to ask??

6. Gift Giving - Sometimes the best gifts are not the most expensive. Our first Valentines Day, I made her a book called "The Book of Insults", basically every time we roast each other with a good come back, we write it in the book. She made me mars bar cake. I was stoked haha.


BTW I've tried to put this in order from most important to least. Please feel free to add more if you got it, I've been meaning to post something for awhile just haven't had time, so I took a sick day and thought I'd kill 30 min writing this lol.

 

[El Payaso]

It's only one year. It's all a facade to get you hooked and addicted to her. Just when you think everything's fine and dandy, she'll pull the rug from underneath you.

Pessimistic? Perhaps but don't get sucked into her niceties and valuation. She's treating you like a "goddamn king" now. Before you know it, she'll be treating you like a goddamn pauper.

 

[Glassguy]

Relationship tip-

Putting all of your eggs in one basket is not a good idea. Spin more plates. The honeymoon is eventually over and sooner or later you're not even going to like the person you are in the relationship with.

LTRs are fine, but keep options available at all times for your own good.

 

[wifehunter]

It's only one year. It's all a facade to get you hooked and addicted to her. Just when you think everything's fine and dandy, she'll pull the rug from underneath you.

Pessimistic? Perhaps but don't get sucked into her niceties and valuation. She's testing you like a "goddamn king" now. Before you know it, she'll be treating you like a goddamn pauper.

Yep, they're drug dealers. They'll will throw everything away at nothing. Just to see if you lose your sh!t!

Just be prepared to walk, if there's no rug to stand on!!!

Btw, I like the mars bar cake idea!

 

[old_skoolr]

It's only one year. It's all a facade to get you hooked and addicted to her. Just when you think everything's fine and dandy, she'll pull the rug from underneath you.

Pessimistic? Perhaps but don't get sucked into her niceties and valuation. She's treating you like a "goddamn king" now. Before you know it, she'll be treating you like a goddamn pauper.

Very pessimistic. Though I understand your POV.

I've known the girl for many years and she has a strong insight in my plate spinning days, she was one of them. Though I chose her as I felt like settling down to give having a gf a shot. Plus she's already made it clear that she'd marry me when I'm ready.

Relationship tip-

Putting all of your eggs in one basket is not a good idea. Spin more plates. The honeymoon is eventually over and sooner or later you're not even going to like the person you are in the relationship with.

LTRs are fine, but keep options available at all times for your own good.

I get the DJ mentality, but you get to an age where spinning plates becomes boring af. Im just enjoying getting laid then her telling me stay in bed and i'll call you when dinner is ready. She has set the bar high, so if she ever drops it she knows I am willing to walk the way.

FYI telling a guy to spin more plates when he has a gf isn't relationship advice, its moronic.

 

[Glassguy]

Old school- I didn't tell him to spin more plates if he is in a committed relationship. I said to not cut off opportunities so there is something there if the chick decides to up and leave. In this day and age it happens more than it doesnt.

Do what YOU want. That's the entire DJ mindset. Doing what SHE wants (especially all the time) is what creates the BETA mindset.

Last I checked most people on here aren't in committed relationships. They are dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationship and bettering themselves to live life the way THEY want to and avoid getting burned again.
This wouldn't have been popular talk in the 70s and 80s when women were more loyal, but it's the world we live in now.

 

[old_skoolr]

Last I checked most people on here aren't in committed relationships. They are dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationship and bettering themselves to live life the way THEY want to and avoid getting burned again.
This wouldn't have been popular talk in the 70s and 80s when women were more loyal, but it's the world we live in now.

Not really, been on this site for 5 years, and for every interesting post that is worth a read is another 100 posts of some dumb kid upset coz his gf made fun of his snapback and he doesnt know if he should dump her. Real brain dead stuff. I just thought I'd offer some thought on a different agenda. Because you don't really see any advice on maintaining the relationship, rather more focus on being single and spinning plates.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

'Exclusive long term relationship = practice marriage'.

The implications of this are far too numerous to list herein. Best to understand what they are though.

 

[sazc]

I like your list. my only concern is that #1 could go the other way. if you withdraw attention in the hopes of getting more sex, she could see it as a sign of your lack of interest and go look for attention elsewhere. jfyi

 

[bigneil]

It's only one year. It's all a facade to get you hooked and addicted to her. Just when you think everything's fine and dandy, she'll pull the rug from underneath you.

Pessimistic? Perhaps but don't get sucked into her niceties and valuation. She's treating you like a "goddamn king" now. Before you know it, she'll be treating you like a goddamn pauper.

"A pretty face can last a year or two, but pretty soon they'll see what you can do"

- John Lennon in his 1971 ode to Paul McCartney How Do you Sleep? (featuring George Harrison on slide guitar)

 

[logicallefty]

Good list overall, OP. Just watch the hanging with guy friends thing. I know many, many men who have been scalded blind by this one, myself included of course. You dont want to be a controlling man and genuinely want her to be a free human being. So you let her hang with guy friends... Your gut screams that something dont feel right. But you ignore it. And the unthinkable that you think can't happen to you and that she is too good of a person to do... It happens... Protect yourself. And when your gut starts telling u something aint right with one of these male friends for Gods sake man dont ignore it..

 

[TheProspect]

5. Constant Attention - I know her messaging you every day is annoying, trust me I understand it. I get a routine call from my gf every day on her way to work, asking me how was my day. Most times I come back with "meh usual". Put up with it!!! Some people may see at as beta, but if your gf is treating you like a god damn king and only asks that she talks you to every day, is that really so much to ask??

Exactly. If she goes out of her way to direct her attention on you all day everyday at least you know it's unlikely she is giving it to someone else. When she is less responsive and doesn't activate conversations as often it's a sign of declining interest.

Good list overall, OP. Just watch the hanging with guy friends thing. I know many, many men who have been scalded blind by this one, myself included of course. You dont want to be a controlling man and genuinely want her to be a free human being. So you let her hang with guy friends... Your gut screams that something dont feel right. But you ignore it. And the unthinkable that you think can't happen to you and that she is too good of a person to do... It happens... Protect yourself. And when your gut starts telling u something aint right with one of these male friends for Gods sake man dont ignore it..

This is basically what El Payaso said, but without the cynicism.

"Only one year... It's a facade" ... Well when then is it an acceptable timeframe to assure yourself that the women you chose to get in a relationship with isn't ****ing other guys and assume every nice thing she's ever done was just a facade? Seriously, how long? 2 years? 5 years? 20? Never? Everyone at their core is to some degree self-centred, but that doesn't mean that should prevent a guy from enjoying a relationship without being skeptical of every word and action a woman makes, regardless if the relationship lasts or not.

Obviously a number of men don't do relationships, to each their own. I agree with men who do LTR's and the men who spin plates til the day they die, it's a personal preference, I've alternated between both. However, if you get into a relationship and you already have preconceived notions that the girl is going to **** you over then those beliefs will inevitably become a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Like Lefty said, in a relationship, protect yourself.. but allow yourself to enjoy it. I'm dating a girl who doesn't drink at all and refuses to have guy friends. She was like this before me, which is one reason why I accepted when she asked for exclusivity after a few months. I personally wouldn't get into a LTR with a girl who drinks (because I don't trust ANY drunk woman) or who has a lot of guy friends (because I don't trust guys, because I know how I can be around female friends). It works for me.

 

[Trump]

So I've been with my gf for pretty much a year, and being my first relationship, I've noticed come up with some things to help young DJs out there.

1. Relationships (Sex = Time + Attention) - If shes not giving you sex, withdraw the time and attention, I've used this technique a few times, and it works like a charm.

2. Make Decisions - Alot of guys get stumped by this. There always confused that if you take a girl somewhere she might not like it. Dude, shes a girl, if she doesnt like it she'll tell you, besides its the effort of making plans with her is more important then where you go. It shows you care about the relationship. Making a reservation at a restaurant takes 2 min out of your day, but to her it means so much more.

3. Don't stop being dirty - Remember all the dirty stuff you did when you were dating?? Notice how it all stopped, dont let it. Keep doing it, I fell into this trap for awhile, when we were officially dating I'd stop sending her **** pics and texting her how I felt banging her over her kitchen bench and blowing on her back. Then I started doing it again, and she responded positively and told me she missed it. I guess when you have a gf, you sorta pedalize her by not treating her like a slvt as much, but I think when you stop doing stuff like that, you lose abit of spark.

4. Boundaries - Set boundaries early, there important to know what is acceptable or not in the relationships. My gf, can go hang out with who ever she wants, girl or guy friend, she tells me beforehand and it doesnt bother me. I have complete trust in her, until she gives me a reason not to trust her. Mind you I hang out with my girl mates as well and my gf knows. The point is setting boundaries early, helps her understand what you deem acceptable.

You allow your pretty girlfriend to go hang out with 6'2 rich basketball players for hours on end because you 'trust' her? Bro I got an stock to sell you.

Why are hanging with girls you are not having sex with? Do you need more friends to talk to? Brutal.

 

[Trainwreck]

It's only one year. It's all a facade to get you hooked and addicted to her. Just when you think everything's fine and dandy, she'll pull the rug from underneath you.

Pessimistic? Perhaps but don't get sucked into her niceties and valuation. She's treating you like a "goddamn king" now. Before you know it, she'll be treating you like a goddamn pauper.

wtf

 

[old_skoolr]

Good list overall, OP. Just watch the hanging with guy friends thing. I know many, many men who have been scalded blind by this one, myself included of course. You dont want to be a controlling man and genuinely want her to be a free human being. So you let her hang with guy friends... Your gut screams that something dont feel right. But you ignore it. And the unthinkable that you think can't happen to you and that she is too good of a person to do... It happens... Protect yourself. And when your gut starts telling u something aint right with one of these male friends for Gods sake man dont ignore it..

Appreciated man, I know. I'm not a fan, but I think fair is fair. I have friends that are girls that I hang with, and why should I lose their friendship because I have a relationship. I see it as the law of proximity, always have beautiful women around you, whether you sleep with them or not, your value is bound to increase. In regards to her, I know the guys she hangs with, their "nice" guys she went to school with, they're no threat to me. My gf has a similar personality to mine, so we understand each other perfectly, she just has a louder mouth and more of a distain for pussies then me. But yeah always have your eyes open.

You allow your pretty girlfriend to go hang out with 6'2 rich basketball players for hours on end because you 'trust' her? Bro I got an stock to sell you.

Why are hanging with girls you are not having sex with? Do you need more friends to talk to? Brutal.

Lol mate, not every guy is 6"2 basketball player, just like every girl you bang isn't a 10/10 model, who fvcks like a pornstar.

I hang out with girls I dont fvck, so I can use them as social proof to get girls who would fvck.