Calling a girl in this day and age.

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Has calling girls rather than texting them become weird/taboo?

I remember when I was a teenager, back in the early 2000s, calling a girl, either just to check in with her or to set up a date, was the most normal thing in the world. In fact I would only ever send a text if the girl wouldn't pick up. Not only did I call girls often, they'd call me as well.

But I feel this has changed with the introduction of smartphones, Whatsapp, Facebook, Skype and what have you. Now everything happens over text, over bloody Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger or whatever. And I bloody hate texting, for obvious reasons.

Not only that, but I get the feeling that just spontaneously calling a girl has become somewhat of a taboo. Many girls act like calling unannounced is somewhat intrusive, rude even. But maybe that's just a sign of low interest. Or perhaps it's just in my head and girls don't actually mind all that much if you call them spontaneously.

What do you guys think? Do you ever spontaneously call a girl? How often do they pick up and how do they respond? And do you have any tips with regards to calling girls on the phone?

 

[sazc]

You've essentially answered your own question. Your social circle has given you the information that calling a female is an incorrect behavior, perhaps even looked upon as boorish.
Why fight against it? Just go with what is considered the norm.

 

[bigneil]

They have to practically be in love with you to be happy to receive a call. But if you find them keeping you on the phone, you are in like Flynn. I've never actually called or received a call from my current girl.

 

[sazc]

Because many men dislike texting. It doesn't come natural to us.

I suggest he learn. Plenty of resources.

I learnt. And if I can, so can anyone else.

These days, I enjoy it (to a degree). So do the women. Complete necessity for a player.

Otherwise, you might have to just LTR a girl that hates texting as much as you do. It will limit your options..

Truth. if you want to compete on the same level as all the other mens in your social circle, learn what is acceptable, and use it.

Unfortunately, if your social circle doesn't make phone calls, you cold be seen as somewhat creepy and/or dont understand proper boundaries.
better to not take that chance

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Has calling girls rather than texting them become weird/taboo?

I remember when I was a teenager, back in the early 2000s, calling a girl, either just to check in with her or to set up a date, was the most normal thing in the world. In fact I would only ever send a text if the girl wouldn't pick up. Not only did I call girls often, they'd call me as well.

But I feel this has changed with the introduction of smartphones, Whatsapp, Facebook, Skype and what have you. Now everything happens over text, over bloody Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger or whatever. And I bloody hate texting, for obvious reasons.

Not only that, but I get the feeling that just spontaneously calling a girl has become somewhat of a taboo. Many girls act like calling unannounced is somewhat intrusive, rude even. But maybe that's just a sign of low interest. Or perhaps it's just in my head and girls don't actually mind all that much if you call them spontaneously.

What do you guys think? Do you ever spontaneously call a girl? How often do they pick up and how do they respond? And do you have any tips with regards to calling girls on the phone?

If a girl likes you enough she will DESIRE to hear your voice. It might be another guys whose voice she's liking inside her head and you are annoying her. Personally I'd call. If she doesn't like to hear my voice that's a problem. I'd call it low interest. Texting is lazy and relatively emotionless.

 

[JohnChops]

I hate texting, I still call .

 

[RangerMIke]

For what it is worth this is what I see. I date women from their 20s to late 40s.... in my experience women in their late 30s and 40s prefer you call, mid to lower 30s it's a crap shoot, women in their 20s prefer you text them. I hate texting I don't do it when I ask a woman out, because I want to read her voice to gauge interest level. After that if she is younger, will text for logistics. I get a lot of responses with younger women by text saying "got your msg sure let's meet up." I figure she prefers texting so I just go with that. Just have to play it by ear.

 

[sazc]

I would think it's perfectly acceptable, when she is giving you her number, to simply ask "how do you prefer to be contacted?"

 

[Ratiocinative]

I don't think it matters too much. I prefer to call and have never had any woman complain about it. Just call at appropriate times if you don't know thier schedule. Evenings on weekdays or mid afternoon on weekends. Women almost always answer 1-3pm on a Saturday in my experience.

 

[sazc]

Kind of unnecessary. And dealt with during the basic logistics of a number-close.

When a woman wants to direct you to Facebook, you know you are dealing with long-game.

When a woman gives you her number, just text her.

Women who prefer whatsapp tell me very early on.

Text is the go to for short-game. And I can assure that guys who use phone-calls do so because it is their comfort, rather than for utility

quit trollin me! lol

 

[SmooveMooves]

Glad to see people here have accepted the times. A few years ago I always had to argue against the guys who would preach: 'calling sets you apart from the rest of the guys who...'

Calling is just like you described, damn near taboo. The only time I'm on the phone is if I'm in a relationship and I haven't seen her for a few days. Just text. Accept it. Times have changed. Pretty soon it's gonna be moving from even that and you'll be contacting chicks purely through social media.

I think evenutally social media will be come so prominent that it literally becomes apart of our real lives. To the point where you can see how many friends someone has on their person. A topic covered in the dystopia anthology 'Black Mirror.'

If you haven't watched it I highly recommend you do so. It offers interesting commentary on the direction we're heading. It's on Netflix.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Nice answers everyone!

I wanna make my question a bit more specific by applying it to a specific situation:

Right now I'm dating a girl I met online. I got her Skype and phone number rather easily, we Skyped a lot (voice + webcam) and texted a bit, but she can be extremely slow with her replies from time to time. You'd think her slow replies would be an indication of low interest, but that's not the case, considering that last week we had our first date and it went extremely well, in fact it went way better than expected (after 1 hour she asked me to come with her to her home). So nothing to complain about to be honest.

Now I want to set up a 2nd date, but I'm a busy guy, especially this month. My schedule is quite busy and unpredictable, and doesn't really have much room for a date. Whenever an option for a date does come up, it's usually somewhat last-minute, like 1 or 2 days before at the earliest. Combine this with her slow replies to texts, it doesn't really make it easy for me to set up dates quickly and easily, unless I would call her.

So, would you think that in this situation it would be okay to bend the rules and call her anyway, or should I just accept the situation and accept the fact that it might take a while before I'll see her again due to my busy, unpredictable schedule and her slow replies?

 

[Glassguy]

I do what I want. Period. If I feel like calling, I call. If not, I'll text.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

That might be the point?

Sounds dodgy. Should be able to set up a date within a day or two.



Then call.

Know where you stand, so you can either get laid - or have some peace and quiet.

Being in a grey area is crap.

Based on the first date, I wouldn't say I'm in a grey area, at least not when it comes to getting laid. Getting laid is not the issue, she's definitely interested in that, but I potentially want more from this girl than just getting laid and with regards to that I am indeed somewhat in a grey area.

My biggest problem with this girl is that she seems to be the type that plans ahead long-term and I don't do that at all because I can't. I plan short-term, long-term is too much of a gamble. I already had to cancel a date twice before I finally got my 1st date simply because we'd plan a date far in advance and then something important would get in the way, but like I said, eventually I did manage to get that 1st date and it went extremely well. But I really don't want setting up the 2nd date to be as much of a hassle as the 1st one, screw that. I want to see her again ASAP and I feel like calling her to set up a date might make that easier, but it might also make me look needy or look like a weirdo because nobody ever calls these days, unless it's urgent.

But yeah, I think I'm just gonna make the gamble and call her the moment an opportunity for a date comes up. At this point I don't think calling her will ruin my chances with her considering our first date went so well. I'll just have to get over myself and stop caring so much about how she might perceive me and my actions. Either she likes me for who I am or she doesn't, there is only one way to find out, right?

I do wonder why the hell she replies so slowly to texts though. I know she's also kinda busy but still. The logical answer would be "low interest" yet during our date last week her interest was extremely high, so what gives?

 

[Roober]

Based on the first date, I wouldn't say I'm in a grey area, at least not when it comes to getting laid. Getting laid is not the issue, she's definitely interested in that, but I potentially want more from this girl than just getting laid and with regards to that I am indeed somewhat in a grey area.

My biggest problem with this girl is that she seems to be the type that plans ahead long-term and I don't do that at all because I can't. I plan short-term, long-term is too much of a gamble. I already had to cancel a date twice before I finally got my 1st date simply because we'd plan a date far in advance and then something important would get in the way, but like I said, eventually I did manage to get that 1st date and it went extremely well. But I really don't want setting up the 2nd date to be as much of a hassle as the 1st one, screw that. I want to see her again ASAP and I feel like calling her to set up a date might make that easier, but it might also make me look needy or look like a weirdo because nobody ever calls these days, unless it's urgent.

But yeah, I think I'm just gonna make the gamble and call her the moment an opportunity for a date comes up. At this point I don't think calling her will ruin my chances with her considering our first date went so well. I'll just have to get over myself and stop caring so much about how she might perceive me and my actions. Either she likes me for who I am or she doesn't, there is only one way to find out, right?

I do wonder why the hell she replies so slowly to texts though. I know she's also kinda busy but still. The logical answer would be "low interest" yet during our date last week her interest was extremely high, so what gives?

I hear ya man! I have trouble with the lengthy replies to texts. I think it really depends if a woman is busy or not. Regardless, you have gone on one date and she doesn't have to give you immediate responses, regardless of the interest level. You have to assume she is dating other guys and doing things since she is single.

Another problem I have is that I want to text to say "hey" or "how was your day?" but I have to resist those urges. Just makes me look weak...

 

[bigneil]

Personally, I hate talking on cell phones. There is a slight delay and it can throw off your timing. It messes up my approach as I use a cerebral sense of humor that really only works on land lines.

Plus, talking on a cell phone makes me feel like I microwaved my brain. It's definitely not healthy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The phone is for setting dates. The only time I call is if I got the chicks number online and haven't met her yet.

Or something logistical where texting is cumbersome. "I'm outside by this landmark. Where are you? Hold on there is parking over there.."

 

[skinnyguy]

They call me when we have a date set up and she gets there before I do and can't find me.

WhatsApp seems to be a European thing ..... I've never had a girl ask me to WhatsApp except for this broad from Poland