Worst Advice You've Ever Received

[BlueAlpha1]

One liners only. Give me your 2-3 best zingers that your out of touch friends and family gave you. Go.

1. It's always impressive to a woman when a man takes out his wallet. - Mom

Need I say more?

2. Be grateful you have a job - Grandfather

I understand this one to some extent, these are men from a bygone era where a 9-5 meant status and was in and of itself attractive to women, so their experience was very different. But they're so out of touch. It's such a condescending remark that implies such helplessness. It basically says shut up and dont complain about flipping burgers or scrubbing toilets because you can't do any better. People hating their jobs is a serious problem and it's a reality on a mass scale for 7/10 Americans, and they shouldn't be put down or be forced to pretend they love what they do if they do a **** job.

3. God is always watching over you. - Every religious person ever.

Indeed. I guess he forgot about the 9 million children who die every year before the age of 5 though.

 

[dustmuffin]

One liners only. Give me your 2-3 best zingers that your out of touch friends and family gave you. Go.

1. It's always impressive to a woman when a man takes out his wallet. - Mom

Need I say more?

2. Be grateful you have a job - Grandfather

I understand this one to some extent, these are men from a bygone era where a 9-5 meant status and was in and of itself attractive to women, so their experience was very different. But they're so out of touch. It's such a condescending remark that implies such helplessness. It basically says shut up and dont complain about flipping burgers or scrubbing toilets because you can't do any better. People hating their jobs is a serious problem and it's a reality on a mass scale for 7/10 Americans, and they shouldn't be put down or be forced to pretend they love what they do.

I think at least you have a job means to shut your mouth and strive to do better if you don't like your current situation. Stop complaining. Use some of that energy on schooling or looking for a better job.

 

[zekko]

2. Be grateful you have a job - Grandfather

I'm a little surprised you would quote this as some of the worst advice you've ever received., knowing your conservative leanings Life is a fragile gift, and I am a firm believer in being grateful for what you have. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't look to improve your situation or find a business or career that is more suitable and beneficial to you. But there's a reason they call it work. If it was something that you would do for free, for pleasure, then they wouldn't have to pay you for it.

People who are able to make a living doing something they love are very fortunate, but not everybody can do this. The idea that everybody should love their work is all part of the entitlement lie, IMO. If you want to support yourself or achieve something, you have to willing to put in the work. Even the people living off the grid have to do a lot of work - maybe more than the rest of us. Even if it's a temporary situation and you have to take a crummy job to survive, that's more honorable than being a parasite.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I think at least you have a job means to shut your mouth and strive to do better if you don't like your current situation. Stop complaining. Use some of that energy on schooling or looking for a better job.

Well I agree with that. And there is only so much complaining you can do before it comes off as a negative person who doesn't really want to change anything and I can't stand those people. But that's not what the quote comes off as to me. It reads as a real gloom and doom message about both the market and your skill. Why not just say "then get off your ass and make it your business to find a better one"

 

[Tenacity]

One liners only. Give me your 2-3 best zingers that your out of touch friends and family gave you. Go.

- "Follow your dreams and the money will follow." The advice is bullshyt because money only follows demand, and said demand must be accompanied by a high enough premium that the customer is willing to pay that allows everyone to be properly "fed" in the business ecosystem. My advice would be follow the demand, and the money will follow.

- "Just be yourself." My advice would be to be your BEST or BETTER self, not just be yourself in general. Being your best or better self, means you take time to learn about your weaknesses, your strong points, your fears, your passions, etc., etc., to become the best version of yourself you can become. You might not naturally look like Brad Pitt but guess what you CAN do? You can lose weight, tone up, buy some better clothes, maybe put on some contacts, fix your hair, get some nice smelling cologne, fix your teeth, and walk into the room with a nice level of confidence.

- "Nice guys finish last." A.ssholes finish last, not nice guys, but what is a nice guy? To piggyback off what I said above, a nice guy is just a BETTER version of yourself. It's a guy who's "efficient" or "NICE" in finances, fitness, personality, conversation, business, investments, sex, etc. Nobody wants to do business with an A.sshole, nobody wants to hire an A.sshole. It's the nice guys that get those positions. And unless you are Tyquesha living in the hood with 5 kids from 5 thugs who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons, A.ssholes don't get women either.

 

[dustmuffin]

Well I agree with that. And there is only so much complaining you can do before it comes off as a negative person who doesn't really want to change anything and I can't stand those people. But that's not what the quote comes off as to me. It reads as a real gloom and doom message about both the market and your skill. Why not just say "then get off your ass and make it your business to find a better one"

That

Well I agree with that. And there is only so much complaining you can do before it comes off as a negative person who doesn't really want to change anything and I can't stand those people. But that's not what the quote comes off as to me. It reads as a real gloom and doom message about both the market and your skill. Why not just say "then get off your ass and make it your business to find a better one"

Yes some may need that extra nudge to explain what is going on for that special snowflake that is clueless. I don't know but from an early age I knew that I had to work my a ss off to get ahead. No one had to tell me. I just knew. At one point in my life I had a fulltime job in the television industry, a lawn service and rental properties.

Now I work for the government and have rentals. The point is I wanted to get ahead. I didn't complain. I took action to make myself the best version of what I could be. I have been knocked down, but I have gotten back up. Don't complain. No one cares. Take action and be the best you can be. You have to have a desire to get ahead.

 

[Serenity]

2. Be grateful you have a job - Grandfather

It's both funny and sad that someone can be ignorant enough to say this. It's a complete lack of understanding that employers depend upon employees. My employer should be grateful to have such a skilled and valuable asset as myself.

There's just so much wrong in how a lot of people view jobs, so much lack of understanding about why jobs exist in the first place. A job is to provide a product or service that is demanded in exchange for money. So potentially anything that other people want can create a job, if there's anyone willing and capable of providing it.

Being an employee is to provide service for money, but if jobs in existing business isn't in demand many people apparently do nothing and demand more jobs. That's stupid because there's no real incentive to create jobs for the sake of employing people. It's all about demand, if there's high demand for something a business can grow and must employ more people to fill the demand (and fill it's own pockets). Jobs cannot be demanded like services and products because it is what provides said things.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

The idea that everybody should love their work is all part of the entitlement lie, IMO.

I respectfully couldn't disagree more with this statement. I think the idea that everybody should just accept that "work is work" and likely to be a miserable aspect you just deal with is morbid and depressing beyond belief.

We only get one life and we were not meant to spend it slaving away for currency like this. And it's nothing to do with "entitlement" because trust me, I can't stand real social parasites or millennials who actually are entitled brats, like say the kind who could get mad over an iPhone. THAT'S entitlement - yearning for a more fulfilling way to spend 40 hours a week for 40 years is not. And I'm not saying it's going to be handed to you.

As I'm learning it's ALL ON YOU to find it and it's not easy! So I also don't buy into the converse to the "be grateful you have a job" which is "quit your dreams and the money will follow!" That's even worse. It's stupid, snake oil advice pedaled in the self-help industry by "life coaches" who steal your money to give you 100% fluff and no how to.I'm saying it's probably possible if you put your mind to it, so go out there and GET IT.

Maybe in India or some other hell hole where people still take a dump on the street and drink from a bucket is finding a dream job is a pipe dream, because just surviving is the objective. But in the 1st world a lot is possible if you put your mind to it. I'm not saying it's going to be your "passion", but everybody has more than one thing they like to do. I've got about 5 things I could think of.

And we have life by the balls in a country like America. There is nothing but bad choices that can stop us. Even a broke kid from the hood who wants to be a rapper could go get a PT job at a studio and boom, he's living at least a variation of his dream. He has choices.

Does a man married with 2 kids have the time to job search all day or job hop until he finds one he likes? No, because of the choices he made in settling down too early before he found a good career. Can a single, 27 year old dude with some money put aside try 50 jobs before he finds one he likes? Well, I think so.

NOW, I have NOT found my dream job and have made some minor bad choices, but I'm -

A. Sure as hell not going to give up trying to find it.

And

B. Not going to be told to just be grateful to have one that $ucks, because some Baby Boomer thinks that because he worked 40 years at a miserable gig that his sons and grandsons should have to. That is shallow, narcissistic thinking. And it doesn't account for the evolution of the labor marker, which changes drastically every 2 generations or so. We're not playing by the same rules they were in the 80's.

Of course it's sort of implied that some job is better than no job, but I hate the condescending manner it was always uttered to me. "Right, that's not a job you want to still have in 20 years. So I want you to get off your ass & spend 2 hours a day job searching until you find one because you can do better." This would have in effect meant the same thing but conveys the message a lot better.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

That


Yes some may need that extra nudge to explain what is going on for that special snowflake that is clueless. I don't know but from an early age I knew that I had to work my a ss off to get ahead. No one had to tell me. I just knew. At one point in my life I had a fulltime job in the television industry, a lawn service and rental properties.

Now I work for the government and have rentals. The point is I wanted to get ahead. I didn't complain. I took action to make myself the best version of what I could be. I have been knocked down, but I have gotten back up. Don't complain. No one cares. Take action and be the best you can be. You have to have a desire to get ahead.

I'm not advocating endless complaining. So I agree with you that that friend or colleague who constantly bitches but never does anything to change the situation is just weak and pathetic.

But if I'm sitting in the living room with my grandfather and he says "how's work?", and I tell him "the place sucks. I want to find something else because I hate it.", than that comment about "being grateful to have shlt x, y, z job" is stupid and condescending. Because if I'm working that means I'm probably not a social parasite. It means I probably already understand that any work is better than no work. It's implied, since I'm working. But I also don't have to fake my enthusiasm when someone asks about my McDonalds/call center/security guard position which they have to know I only go to to keep the lights on, just to be told learn to enjoy a soul-sucking hell hole.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

- "Follow your dreams and the money will follow." The advice is bullshyt because money only follows demand, and said demand must be accompanied by a high enough premium that the customer is willing to pay that allows everyone to be properly "fed" in the business ecosystem. My advice would be follow the demand, and the money will follow.

As you well know, this one is my favorite and I can't believe I left it off. It is the inverse to "be grateful you have a job", but even more stupid because it's financially dangerous. They are polar opposites but both wrong. One is incredibly morbid and depressing, the other is just a naive fantasy that only sheep believe. The only answer is a MIDDLE GROUND between the two, by following the DEMAND as you stated. I can't freakin stand the rah-rah-rah/YOU CAN DO IT! schtick from these "life coaches" selling you books and online seminars that are 103% fluff and vague cliches, and -3% how to.

Recently one of these frauds called Tony Robbins got in some hot water because he made guests at his speaking event run across HOT COALS, and there was supposed to be some underlying metaphor about "conquering your fears." No you crook, you just put 4 idiots in the hospital is what you did.

- "Just be yourself."

My advice would be to be your BEST or BETTER self, not just be yourself in general. Being your best or better self, means you take time to learn about your weaknesses, your strong points, your fears, your passions, etc., etc., to become the best version of yourself you can become. You might not naturally look like Brad Pitt but guess what you CAN do? You can lose weight, tone up, buy some better clothes, maybe put on some contacts, fix your hair, get some nice smelling cologne, fix your teeth, and walk into the room with a nice level of confidence.

Agree 100%.

- "Nice guys finish last." A.ssholes finish last, not nice guys, but what is a nice guy? To piggyback off what I said above, a nice guy is just a BETTER version of yourself. It's a guy who's "efficient" or "NICE" in finances, fitness, personality, conversation, business, investments, sex, etc. Nobody wants to do business with an A.sshole, nobody wants to hire an A.sshole. It's the nice guys that get those positions. And unless you are Tyquesha living in the hood with 5 kids from 5 thugs who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons, A.ssholes don't get women either.

Interesting take and compelling argument you got there.

Btw, you forgot to capitalize THUG when referencing Tyquesha's fvckboys.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

We only get one life and we were not meant to spend it slaving away for currency like this.

I thought you were an atheist? Who is giving this "meaning" to your life?

Some people get hungry, need a roof, and their skillset isn't enough to do anything OTHER than barely make enough to pay their rent and food bill every month.

To these people, it's better to be employed than unemployed.

that comment about "being grateful to have shlt x, y, z job" is stupid and condescending.

No, that statement is an attempt to make you feel better about your horrible situation. You could be a straight male starring in gay porn, for example.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I thought you were an atheist? Who is giving this "meaning" to your life?

I am an atheist, and I do often wonder about the meaning of life myself. I like to think the bonds we form with other humans and the love our next of kin have for us that lives beyond us is enough meaning.

But even if it's not, that doesn't mean an invisible, magic man in the sky for which there is no evidence is giving that meaning instead.

Some people get hungry, need a roof, and their skillset isn't enough to do anything OTHER than barely make enough to pay their rent and food bill every month.

To these people, it's better to be employed than unemployed.

I agree with that, and I do feel for those people.

But it's a stupid thing to say for a upper middle class or wealthy man to tell his young soon whose nowhere close to that situation. In this case you're telling somebody with options that he has no other options. Telling somebody with degree to be content working in retail/fast food is like telling someone with a 125 IQ to be content with a D+ average.

It's stupid, outdated, old fashioned thinking. Nobody cares that you worked 40 years for one company and got a nice little pension to retire on, and you were "grateful" the whole time. The labor market has changed.

No, that statement is an attempt to make you feel better about your horrible situation. You could be a straight male starring in gay porn, for example.

Telling somebody "you can do better if you do x, y, and z" is the way to make someone feel better, not telling them to shut up and enjoy walking in mud all day.

 

[nismo-4]

I got 2. I hate seminars and consultants who are all talk, all fluff, all cliché, no action or any actual how to.

1. Don't go after women. Let them come to you.

Ok, just sit around playing on your ipad and your dream girl will walk up to you a month later. Yeah f**kin' right. Sure it's good to ignore women and be aloof and all that sh*t, but you need to make a move. Not all of us are rich celebs with muscled out bods. If you want it, go get it! Now there's good advice. What are you gonna say if you keep ignoring girls and get terribly ill or get hit by lightning? You missed out on many opportunities.

2. Be her friend first, and don't talk sexually.

You're a dumbass to the tenth power if you follow this one.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I got 2. I hate seminars and consultants who are all talk, all fluff, all cliché, no action or any actual how to.

Yup. I actually don't mind a motivational speech with a good story now and then from a dude whose real. I don't even mind them charging for good content. But these "life coach" consultants usually fit into 1 of 3 categories of repugnant.

Least offender: A goofball like Joel Osteen who sells you a Jesus book for a modest price like $10, but who gives you nothing but cliches and feel good mumbo-jumbo which amounts to neutral advice, because there's no actual substance to it.

Worse offender: A shill like Corey Wayne, who charges $1,000 AN HOUR, not to give positive or neutral advice, but TERRIBLE advice. Rubbish like "wait 3 weeks, then text your ex at midnight that you've got flowers and candles ready, and you want her to come over to make passionate love one last time for old times sake." HUH!? (This is not a direct quote, but it's similar.)

Worst offender: A crook like Tony Robbins, who has lonely, desperate people RUN ACROSS HOT COALS, to find some hidden metaphor about "conquering your fears." So this POS takes hundreds of your own money to manipulate you and ultimately put you in a hospital.

Never trust one of these dudes.

 

[Desdinova]

"I don't want you hanging around those slvts, do you want to get AIDS?" - my mother

She would say stuff like this to me when I was in elementary school. It's no wonder that I was terrified of approaching and interacting with girls.

 

[Who Dares Win]

"Make people to love you"

Crappy advice meant as sacrifice your desire and will in order to accomodate those of others in order for them to like you.

With an afc father like that you can imagine how hard my struggle has (and still is) been hard.

 

[Serenity]

I can't freakin stand the rah-rah-rah/YOU CAN DO IT! schtick from these "life coaches" selling you books and online seminars that are 103% fluff and vague cliches, and -3% how to.

Well there is in most cases truth to "YOU CAN DO IT!", but it's largely unhelpful advice as it's as general as it can possibly be. Most people can achieve huge things, commonly the reason they don't is lack of belief that they can without a further specific reason why not.

I do agree on the life coaches though, it's a scam paying someone simply to tell you that you can. The existence of this business though is caused by a high demand for motivation, it's interesting that people found a way to profit even from that demand.

Motivation is not external, it comes from inside and anyone can generate it without spending a single coin. A coach cannot give motivation. If I was an honest life coach I wouldn't make much money, because I'd just tell them they already have motivation. If they weren't motivated they wouldn't be driven to see a coach in the first place.

It continues to amaze me that so many people don't see the irony in what they're doing.

 

[dustmuffin]

I just thought of one. Not quite advice from an elder but the ole "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about". Used very often by my parents.

 

[The Duke]

I had a trip planned with a girl I was dating and the morning we were supposed to leave, she told me she did not want me to go so she went by herself. After she had been there for 2days and I guess boredom set in she was begging me to fly down and stay with her and explained she made a mistake. So I asked my good ole Mom what I should do. My mom said sometimes women get emotional and don't always think right and I should fly down and see her. So that's what I did. After a day it became obvious this wasn't what I should have done. This girl changed her mind once again. Sure was a long ride home. Never waste your time on wishy-washy women and don't ask your mom for dating advice. She will always have compassion for females and their flakey behavior.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

"don't worry. there is someone special for everyone"
BS. You still gotta be somone worth knowing. This fairytale bs is what gives fat neck beards an excuse to never leave the basement. And there's not just one. If you have good frame there will be more than one.

"you have to go out and try to fall in love again. "
This advice was from a counsellor after I went to get help after being depressed when a relationship ended. Enough said.

"just be a good person. Women will come to love you"
Funny, because when I am a bad person they come to love me much sooner.