Girlfriend dumped me "I need to focus on school, I rushed into this relationship"

[mrgoodstuff]

Im going through something similar right now, it's like I can only remember the great times me and my ex had, but when I start dwelling deeper, all of the phucked up moments me and her had actually TRUMP the good ones. Right now you simply want what you cant have

HAH. Reality set in. Many times the sex clouded our viewpoint. Or maybe we were drinking or smoking too much weed to mask up the reality. If it was definitely bad overall, then forget about it. Sometimes they will be bad or selfish and it's why you aren't with her anymore.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

We met in August

Too soon for a committed, exclusive 'relationship', especially with a 22 years old. Especially at the age of 27. Six months is the watershed when you might consider going exclusive. Half the reason she gets agitated is because she's not scared of losing you.

she pushes to be Facebook official

Really dude...? This means fck all in the real world. Let's grow up a bit shall we.

invites me to meet ALL of her family, the first guy ever

Far too much; far, far too soon.

We haven't had sex in like a week and a half, we have this big weekend planned at the casino and shes super lovey dovey, gives me a happy one month anniversary card, it's really heartfelt and sweet. We get too drunk, pass out and don't end up banging.

This doesn't sound much like a relationship. This sounds like drinking buddies who fck occasionally.

Let's get to the main assumptions.

-Your game is weak. You've been played by a girl who likes being taken to casinos and driven Around in a flashy car. (Very few) 22 year old girls care about 'relationships'. Sure they'll play the game to appease their main plate; which is essentially what you have been to her.

Your focus is clearly what you bring to a situation by way of material gains.... try gaming women in bars without giving indications of your wealth. You'll have a truer representation of what's what. Get them attracted to you first opposed to your money - I imagine you're a bit of a provider as well; in essence separate the decent women from the gold diggers.

 

[nismo-4]

You are able to buy a $150,000 US vehicle. But a 22 year old college girl, who has slept with her previous 6'2 boyfriend 97 times, makes your head spin in circles by spitting out some cliche sentences?

Come on bro, as soon as she causes some friction, complains, needs a break, needs to focus on school, needs to focus on herself, withholds sex or has some thoughts, you disappear like a magician. How hard is that? Is the sex that good that we keep coming back? Is the girl a movie star?

Id return the keys to the car and tell the dealership 'I don't think I'm mature enough to drive such an expensive car. Im going to go with the Honda Civic.'

People like the OP don't deserve to own a Maserati. Rich in dollars, poor in sense.

I'd love to have one, but back on track. I'm that 6'2" boyfriend she's been sleeping with 97 times. It'll be 98 when I close this case.

Your problem was you were too controlling and clingy. Read that paragraph and inernalize it. Ya know, the one about disappearing like a magician. No amount of money can buy that kind of knowledge.

There is no knowledge that is not power.

Case closed. Tough tittie, but this girl's milk is actually good!

 

[DamnSon]

I didn't flash money around I was simply stating what I might have represented, yes I'm an older guy who's had some success, shouldn't that come with the territory? SHE wanted me to meet the family. And proclaiming she's taken via social media is prettt big id think, it's her indicating to the world, family and other plates she's taken. (Wether she means it or not) but it's what it could represent. 4th day of NC I want to look at her **** badly, but staying strong

 

[narcissist]

I didn't flash money around I was simply stating what I might have represented, yes I'm an older guy who's had some success, shouldn't that come with the territory? SHE wanted me to meet the family. And proclaiming she's taken via social media is prettt big id think, it's her indicating to the world, family and other plates she's taken. (Wether she means it or not) but it's what it could represent. 4th day of NC I want to look at her **** badly, but staying strong

Money will bring them to you, but your personality will be the only thing keeping them around. In the long run, your monetary success does not off set your clinginess and neediness. A lot of attraction is simply emotions, and if you are being clingy, needy, and controlling it gives them the wrong emotions.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

And proclaiming she's taken via social media is prettt big id think

Oh goodness. Seriously man, after 4pages of advice from extremely knowledgeable and worldly guys, you're still in denial.

Read your original post back to yourself from a third person perspective.

-Her ex 'strung her along'. This is ghey speak for, 'she was attracted to his indifference'.
-You're spending days on end with this woman quite happily, with no apparent life nor priorities of your own to get back to.
-You're apologising for fcking lame bullsh!t.
-SHE dumped YOU. And in spite of her wish to be 'exclusive' on Facebook'. Where the fck is your self respect man?

Your money has gone to your head. You think it's all you need to attract and keep a woman; when in fact, it's one of the last things you need. I'd go as far to say, at the moment, the fact you have money is actually working against you.

 

[DamnSon]

Guys, I'm not rich lol, I wasn't throwing 100's around popping bottles of champagne, but any success I may have comes from extremely hard work and perseverance- That in itself I would assume is an attractive quality, representing stability and passion. But you're right, I did put way too much of my time on pause for this girl.. in fact I started to slip (I'm self employed so if I don't put time in it will decline) and I noticed it even.

I'm back on the horse and yesterday just set up 5 projects actually.. but still feels like ****. Every break up I've ever had, I've used it to catapult me into a furious work ethic. because I never wanted to feel like a loser again.

At it's extremes, money keeps the girl- Dan Blizerian as a megadouche example... I don't enjoy such a perverted outlook on love though, I think it exists, but yeah. Nothing to do now but keep it moving, I guess my biggest mistake was squeezing so tight on her because I wanted to be the only one smashing, I didnt want to invest my valuable time and open up and look like a sucker.

 

[sazc]

You're not a loser. It sounds lie you have a lot to offer the RIGHT woman. These guys are trying to help you realize that you need to slow down in any relationship, keep some distance, dont be so available. When I assimilate the sum total of your words, the one lesson you keep ignoring is that you have to SLOW DOWN with these women. It seems like you are placing them in the LTR-serious category far too quickly. When men (and women) do that, it tends to be a way to validate themselves and their own self worth. I have a lover, therefore I am someone. You need to learn that you are not more valuable because you have a woman. You need to understand that any woman who doesn't value you, and all you have to offer, is really the looser.

 

[DamnSon]

Thanks Sazc, I think it's more though of getting tired of the scene, you stand around the bar, observing, the meaningless cesspool.. everyone like ants, scurrying, just trying to get off, a slave to impulse and chemical reactions. I think I long for a deeper connection and it's big for me to open up to anyone, that's why im ****ed. Maybe it's not even her, just what I thought was her.

**** it, there are dreams to be pursued.

 

[narcissist]

Thanks Sazc, I think it's more though of getting tired of the scene, you stand around the bar, observing, the meaningless cesspool.. everyone like ants, scurrying, just trying to get off, a slave to impulse and chemical reactions. I think I long for a deeper connection and it's big for me to open up to anyone, that's why im ****ed. Maybe it's not even her, just what I thought was her.

**** it, there are dreams to be pursued.

Thats the world man. Learn to adapt or live a miserable life.

 

[sazc]

Thanks Sazc, I think it's more though of getting tired of the scene, you stand around the bar, observing, the meaningless cesspool.. everyone like ants, scurrying, just trying to get off, a slave to impulse and chemical reactions. I think I long for a deeper connection and it's big for me to open up to anyone, that's why im ****ed. Maybe it's not even her, just what I thought was her.

**** it, there are dreams to be pursued.

sounds like you need to get out of the bar, or at least into a better bar, and/or into some hobbies. What interests you? weight lifting? painting? a foreign language? golf? tennis? skiing? hiking? biking? yoga? volunteer at an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, look for singles gatherings in your area.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Too soon for a committed, exclusive 'relationship', especially with a 22 years old. Especially at the age of 27. Six months is the watershed when you might consider going exclusive. Half the reason she gets agitated is because she's not scared ofh o losing yoou.

Bingo! When they are scared losing you or actualizing your value they won't be late, they won't forget, they won't flake, they will reach in their purses and they will invite you to a bunch of stuff

Really dude...? This means fck all in the real world. Let's grow up a bit shall we.


Far too much; far, far too soon.


This doesn't sound much like a relationship. This sounds like drinking buddies who fck occasionally.

Simplification is great!

Let's get to the main assumptions.

-Your game is weak. You've been played by a girl who likes being taken to casinos and driven Around in a flashy car. (Very few) 22 year old girls care about 'relationships'. Sure they'll play the game to appease their main plate; which is essentially what you have been to her.

Girl is still going thru her h0e phase. They are into attention, having stuff to brag about to their h0e friends, free meals and free trips. Shouldn't try to "perm" with one of these. Have to treat her as she is.

Your focus is clearly what you bring to a situation by way of material gains.... try gaming women in bars without giving indications of your wealth. You'll have a truer representation of what's what. Get them attracted to you first opposed to your money - I imagine you're a bit of a provider as well; in essence separate the decent women from the gold diggers.

Need some rulesets which only "provide" when it makes sense to do so. Personally I believe if you would go into your pocket and reach for some money behind her, so she should she behind you. Just like if it is a male friend doing the same.

 

[DamnSon]

Bingo! When they are scared losing you or actualizing your value they won't be late, they won't forget, they won't flake, they will reach in their purses and they will invite you to a bunch of stuff



Simplification is great!



Girl is still going thru her h0e phase. They are into attention, having stuff to brag about to their h0e friends, free meals and free trips. Shouldn't try to "perm" with one of these. Have to treat her as she is.



Need some rulesets which only "provide" when it makes sense to do so. Personally I believe if you would go into your pocket and reach for some money behind her, so she should she behind you. Just like if it is a male friend doing the same.

Good stuff, I did pay, I just was raised to do so, because I saw potential in the girl so I set that. If it was a one nighter or a fling, I'd avoid paying dates like the plague lol Also, she did fear losing me I feel that's why she asked me to meet her family, but then like literally instantaneously went cold.. that's why I have having a hard time with this one. One day perfect, next day cold as **** with no triggering event, that I could see anyway.

Szac, I have a lot of hobbies, done a lot of things.. I've been living crazy fast for a few years now and it's getting harder and harder to find an experience that provides something fulfilling. Although, I am in the process of making my film (I'm in the entertainment industry) Which is a new and stressful venture... but that's where the passion is.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good stuff, I did pay, I just was raised to do so, because I saw potential in the girl so I set that. If it was a one nighter or a fling, I'd avoid paying dates like the plague lol Also, she did fear losing me I feel that's why she asked me to meet her family, but then like literally instantaneously went cold.. that's why I have having a hard time with this one. One day perfect, next day cold as **** with no triggering event, that I could see anyway.

Szac, I have a lot of hobbies, done a lot of things.. I've been living crazy fast for a few years now and it's getting harder and harder to find an experience that provides something fulfilling. Although, I am in the process of making my film (I'm in the entertainment industry) Which is a new and stressful venture... but that's where the passion is.

Hey bro. If they work like you they need to pay some of the time. It shows appreciation. Maybe 70/30 or 60/40. Paying all the time is OLD advice back when women didn't work. A descent woman will want to pay some times.

 

[sazc]

Hey bro. If they work like you they need to pay some of the time. It shows appreciation. Maybe 70/30 or 60/40. Paying all the time is OLD advice back when women didn't work. A descent woman will want to pay some times.

If your woman appreciates how generous you are towards her, she will be picking up the check and reciprocating so you dont feel taken advantage of

 

[revolutionnow]

Is this just another case of one nitis

 

[BeExcellent]

I get it, I really do. You are in a place where YOU are ready to be a great man for the right girl. You thought she was the right girl but she wasn't. Bummer. Reset & move on.

While you can slay it in business personal relationships are far more nuanced. It's not just a checkbox you can check like you can with your life goals & accomplishments.

Listen I'm a chick. Old enough to be your mom. I love things to be very direct, very black & white. So I can know I got this piece of life handled and I can appreciate it and keep moving forward to accomplish other stuff I have on my agenda...only it doesn't quite work like that.

Its aggravating when you want things settled so you can focus big picture. But you have to learn to enjoy the moment & allow people to reveal their true nature. If you are patient they always will show you everything you need to know. The process takes time. Slow down.

Someone who has your ambition level and success level so young needs a supportive woman. Someone who doesn't crave the spotlight & attention (because the competitive energy will be the undoing of the relationship). An artist friend of mine comes to mind. This guy is world famous. His wife is a natural beauty; but quiet and reserved. She's also American I might add. Totally lets him shine socially and smiles sweetly at him. He is so in love with her, she is a great mom & helps him behind the scenes in his business affairs. But he is the star of the show. She supports him and loves him & they have a neat relationship.

Your girl was into what you had to offer her. This is backwards. Find a girl who has much to offer you. Examples in your line of work include Jay Leno & Ray Bradbury. Research their wives. You have to be extra careful because there are gold diggers galore out there. Leave the Maserati home and Uber everywhere for a while when you go out. Find a woman who digs you for you. Then you can SLOWLY reveal who you are once you find a woman who is invested in you.

I had a friend who was a model. Milan runways, national catalogues, etc. He was an amazing person. Gorgeous but real. Also terribly insecure. Once he became a financial success he could never determine whether a woman liked him for him or for his money. He is dead now. Caught up in a fast life.

Hold out for self-confidence & authenticity in a woman. It's crucial if you want a successful relationship.

Young women are also incredibly neurotic as a rule. For all you know this girl you fell for didn't think she deserved you & what you had to offer. Women never ever admit this but it shows up when they cheat on you with a relative loser. Men here will blame your frame (which had its issues to be sure), but that isn't always the whole picture.

Chin up & smile. You'll be alright.

 

[DamnSon]

I get it, I really do. You are in a place where YOU are ready to be a great man for the right girl. You thought she was the right girl but she wasn't. Bummer. Reset & move on.

While you can slay it in business personal relationships are far more nuanced. It's not just a checkbox you can check like you can with your life goals & accomplishments.

Listen I'm a chick. Old enough to be your mom. I love things to be very direct, very black & white. So I can know I got this piece of life handled and I can appreciate it and keep moving forward to accomplish other stuff I have on my agenda...only it doesn't quite work like that.

Its aggravating when you want things settled so you can focus big picture. But you have to learn to enjoy the moment & allow people to reveal their true nature. If you are patient they always will show you everything you need to know. The process takes time. Slow down.

Someone who has your ambition level and success level so young needs a supportive woman. Someone who doesn't crave the spotlight & attention (because the competitive energy will be the undoing of the relationship). An artist friend of mine comes to mind. This guy is world famous. His wife is a natural beauty; but quiet and reserved. She's also American I might add. Totally lets him shine socially and smiles sweetly at him. He is so in love with her, she is a great mom & helps him behind the scenes in his business affairs. But he is the star of the show. She supports him and loves him & they have a neat relationship.

Your girl was into what you had to offer her. This is backwards. Find a girl who has much to offer you. Examples in your line of work include Jay Leno & Ray Bradbury. Research their wives. You have to be extra careful because there are gold diggers galore out there. Leave the Maserati home and Uber everywhere for a while when you go out. Find a woman who digs you for you. Then you can SLOWLY reveal who you are once you find a woman who is invested in you.

I had a friend who was a model. Milan runways, national catalogues, etc. He was an amazing person. Gorgeous but real. Also terribly insecure. Once he became a financial success he could never determine whether a woman liked him for him or for his money. He is dead now. Caught up in a fast life.

Hold out for self-confidence & authenticity in a woman. It's crucial if you want a successful relationship.

Young women are also incredibly neurotic as a rule. For all you know this girl you fell for didn't think she deserved you & what you had to offer. Women never ever admit this but it shows up when they cheat on you with a relative loser. Men here will blame your frame (which had its issues to be sure), but that isn't always the whole picture.

Chin up & smile. You'll be alright.

What a lovely, thought-out and poignant response. Thank you BeExcellent. One thing she did say was "sorry you feel like im not reciprocating im trying, and I don't want to hurt you by not being able to give you the time you want" Probably, you're right. She also had no opinions on anything, strongly. Whatever, I do have to learn to slow it down and be more patient. I want to rush what's good so I can hurry up and keep it.. but you're right

 

[Milano]

Ahhh you know bro, you get sick of that **** sometimes, she was different, I have pretty good reads on people and I guess I thought I found a good one and overdid it to keep it, pushed her away, ****. Ain't no way back now huh

Im sorry dude, she wasnt different. Too bad our mind plays games with us so much. I can feel your emotions while reading your words, as I recently lost a girl I thought was special too by chasing after she backed off. Then I got the beloved "I need to be alone" = "I need to focus on some other c0ck now, but perhaps I need a backup in the future".

The only special one here is you with the Maserati. She is a college gangbang hore, nothing unique with that. When you asked her if somebody else, she lied, also nothing new. Actually if she had enough feelings for you and had some standards left for herself, she would tell you "yes I have seen someone, Im sorry", but she doesnt want you to emotionally freak out and call her a slut. Aint it pretty, they want to ride the c0ck carusel but not get judged for it To flake that much means she has another mushroom tip inside or several penetrating all her holes at once.

She was not special, you will find someone better.

 

[pyros]

She is not a wh-ore, or maybe she is, who cares?

the thing is that OP cannot understand that this girl WAS NOT INTO HIM, she just faked it until she found something better. It happens, get over it dude.

P.S.
You keep saying that you saw 'potential' in her...get a pair of glasses man, you saw wrong!! try to improve your spider-sense for next time.