Huge amount of flaking

[Junach]

Hi men,

I've following the boards and the sphere for quite some time now. I have developed myself and steadily rose in status, body composition, smarts etc. throughout the years, and the sphere had big impact on that.

However, I've been out of game for some time, several years. Now I'm coming back and I have great success in creating initial interest in girls and taking their numbers, but for some f**ing reason many of them flake.

1.
For instance, there was a girl with which I had plenty of IOIs, she was touching me, smiling, when I went to tell her to give me her number she was very excited and she on her own said: 'we can grab a coffee these days' etc.

The next day I call her and set up a meeting in a bar for the following day. She says: 'yes, let's do this'. Then on the date (the day after that) I text her the place (it's close by) and the time. She says: 'perfect, see you there'.

Half hour before the time she sends a message: 'I'm not feeling so well, cannot come but we can reschedule for [a specific day]'. I respond (after 15 mins): 'Alright, [specific day] it is. Get well. And prepare to make it up ' And she responds: 'hahaha okok'

And I think to myself, well, this is good, she's interested, she probably really was sick but she rescheduled so that's great.

The day of the rescheduled date I write her a message saying: 'same time same place' and 'see you tonight'. And she replies (after an hour!): 'Hey! I would be at my exercising class'. I reply: 'When?' and then 'Cancel that, I'm way more interesting '

She then replies: 'Hahaha I need to exercise or I will die, I've been studying the whole day...etc' and 'Do you have FB'? I say: 'No FB' and 'Don't worry, I'll pretend your body is like you just had your exercise'

And then she replies with an invitation to another night where I can join with my friends (that she met the first time). And I replied: 'I'll have a lot of work the following day' and 'Alright, I'll be at the bar from 9 to probably 11' and 'Give me a ring if you change your mind'. And I or she didn't write anything afterwards.

What the hell?! From very interested to flaking twice (and my mindset or tactics did not change)?!

2.
Another situation (in short): I went out with a girl, escalated rather late (maybe 1 hour after meeting went to turn her head and kiss her, she responded well but said 'I don't want to go out and kiss people like that') but it was not terrible, got to kiss her at the end of the date, she said she had great time etc. and all is great. (This one also asked if I had FB at the beginning of the messages exchange, it seems that this happens when they want to transfer me from higher to lower value by putting me on another, low-value-associated medium like FB. I steadily refuse this, but it anyway gets me nowhere)

Then after some days (a week maybe) I wrote her some messages in the sense: I'm back, was thinking about you being a good girl and buying me coffee this week. And she replies: 'hahaha what happens if I'm a bad girl?' and I reply: 'bad girl get a special treatment 8) (the smile with sun glassess)'.

Then two days after that I write: 'I'm free on friday' and 'let's find out your type'. No response. Then after 3 days I write: 'hey, are you up for some coffee this week?' She replies after 2 days with: I just saw the message, I have a lot for studying (partially true), it's better on friday, or next week' and I say: 'I'll think of something and let you know' etc

Then days later I write a message: 'Tuesday is free for me, let's catch up with some coffee and wine'. And no response. (BTW she replies after days, and acts as if she didn't receive the message and then 'oh I'm sorry I just saw your message')

What the hell?!

===================================

Totally disrespectful. I got my basics largely under control. I'm not a table monkey and clown when meeting women so that I will give them emotional roller-coaster dramas (I don't care at all about their dramatic needs), but I am composed, confident and get their numbers easily by creating quiet interest (I'm a lot more like Todd than Tyler or Max).

But why the hell do they flake so much even after showing good interest?! Can you recommend something (with these girls and with me)?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hi men,

I've following the boards and the sphere for quite some time now. I have developed myself and steadily rose in status, body composition, smarts etc. throughout the years, and the sphere had big impact on that.

However, I've been out of game for some time, several years. Now I'm coming back and I have great success in creating initial interest in girls and taking their numbers, but for some f**ing reason many of them flake.

1.
For instance, there was a girl with which I had plenty of IOIs, she was touching me, smiling, when I went to tell her to give me her number she was very excited and she on her own said: 'we can grab a coffee these days' etc.

The next day I call her and set up a meeting in a bar for the following day. She says: 'yes, let's do this'. Then on the date (the day after that) I text her the place (it's close by) and the time. She says: 'perfect, see you there'.

Half hour before the time she sends a message: 'I'm not feeling so well, cannot come but we can reschedule for [a specific day]'. I respond (after 15 mins): 'Alright, [specific day] it is. Get well. And prepare to make it up ' And she responds: 'hahaha okok'

And I think to myself, well, this is good, she's interested, she probably really was sick but she rescheduled so that's great.

The day of the rescheduled date I write her a message saying: 'same time same place' and 'see you tonight'. And she replies (after an hour!): 'Hey! I would be at my exercising class'. I reply: 'When?' and then 'Cancel that, I'm way more interesting '

She then replies: 'Hahaha I need to exercise or I will die, I've been studying the whole day...etc' and 'Do you have FB'? I say: 'No FB' and 'Don't worry, I'll pretend your body is like you just had your exercise'

And then she replies with an invitation to another night where I can join with my friends (that she met the first time). And I replied: 'I'll have a lot of work the following day' and 'Alright, I'll be at the bar from 9 to probably 11' and 'Give me a ring if you change your mind'. And I or she didn't write anything afterwards.

What the hell?! From very interested to flaking twice (and my mindset or tactics did not change)?!

2.
Another situation (in short): I went out with a girl, escalated rather late (maybe 1 hour after meeting went to turn her head and kiss her, she responded well but said 'I don't want to go out and kiss people like that') but it was not terrible, got to kiss her at the end of the date, she said she had great time etc. and all is great. (This one also asked if I had FB, it seems that this happens when they want to transfer me from higher to lower value by putting me on another, low-value-associated medium like FB. I steadily refuse this, but it anyway gets me nowhere)

Then I wrote her some messages in the sense: I'm back, was thinking about you being a good girl and buying me coffee this week. And she replies: 'hahaha what happens if I'm a bad girl?' and I reply: 'bad girl get a special treatment 8) (the smile with sun glassess)'.

Then two days after that I write: 'I'm free on friday' and 'let's find out your type'. No response. Then after 3 days I write: 'hey, are you up for some coffee this week?' She replies after 2 days with: I just saw the message, I have a lot for studying (partially true), it's better on friday, or next week' and I say: 'I'll think of something and let you know' etc

Then days later I write a message: 'Tuesday is free for me, let's catch up with some coffee and wine'. And no response. (BTW she replies after days, and acts as if she didn't receive the message and then 'oh I'm sorry I just saw your message')

What the hell?!

===================================

Totally disrespectful. I got my basics largely under control. I'm not a table monkey and clown when meeting women so that I will give them emotional roller-coaster dramas (I don't care at all about their dramatic needs), but I am composed, confident and get their numbers easily by creating quiet interest (I'm a lot more like Todd than Tyler or Max).

But why the hell do they flake so much even after showing good interest?! Can you recommend something (with these girls and with me)?

She wanted to put you in that low category, but you wouldn't allow her. So she flakes, you probably shouldn't have hit her up the two times and waited and did something else till she got back to you. These females ARENT special, well most aren't.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I'd say both of these women have low interest and are trying to let you down gently. Don't try to over think it: a flake is a flake. It basically means they have better things to do (in their own mind).

Girl 1. I'd straight just forget her if she cancelled twice in a row like that. Don't think you really did anything wrong as such. She was just straight wasting your time, as some do. Though one thing.....

'Cancel that, I'm way more interesting'. You're qualifying yourself to her already. Anything you say that sounds like persuasion, forget it. You're starting down the road of begging here. Your being interesting should be implied fact, and doesn't need overtly stating. Maybe if you actually start saying more interesting things, you won't have so many flakes. Jus saying.

Girl 2. Despite the date, this is not really how two people who are interested in each other correspond. If the date had gone really well (for both) and there was actual chemistry between you, you wouldn't (and shouldn't) be spinning out texting for days making arrangements for the next one.

All I'll say is start to hone your observations, learn to look for genuine interest, not just behavioural 'indications' that you know of the top of your head. It's pretty easy when you know what to look for. You're doing the right thing avoiding FB.

1) She'll make it easy for you to see her, like really easy, and she won't flake.
2) When you do see her, she will be nervous, in an excited way. She might even tell you so.

 

[pyros]

1. Just because they give you their number doesnt mean they like you, you know?
2. You behave weird, and I sense you have too much DJ rules in your mind, which make you behave in a weird way girls sense.
You get thein number, the next day you text them, you arrange a date for the next day, you look too coc-ky and bossy (I am free on Friday meet me there), and you do not build any rapport whatsoever.
You go directly to what you think is your objective "set up a date quickly and do it my way".

See this, eventhough these girls had medium to low interest, if you behaved differently they may have liked you more. But when you meet girls with little interest and you behave 'weird', they dont want to get to know you more. This is smart on their part btw XD

 

[Glassguy]

It seems like flakes like to use the same response when pinpointed on "out or in" and you put it in your first post. I find it very interesting....

The "hahaha ok" response is so lame. It ALWAYS ends up being low interest and universal flaking. No idea why, but when I see THAT response, I do NOT message them back. Just go silent.

 

[RangerMIke]

@deesade is spot on. Always remember flaking and confusing behavior = low interest. A woman that likes you will not flake and will not confuse you. If you find yourself in situations like this over and over again with women it means you are moving too fast, be patient. Dating is like fishing, not hunting. You toss your line in the water and wait... the good news is that you can toss LOTS of lines in the water and which ever one pulls you reel that one in.

The OP is 'hunting', he targets a chick and goes after her. This makes you look too needy, and as much as you might believe that you think you are being 'cool' about it.... you are not.... you are not fooling anyone, women are VERY intuitive and they ALWAYS know.

 

[BreezyB84]

I will be honest.. as a newbie, i see myself in this thread a lot and it let's me know how mentally far I have to go.

Considering I don't have a lot of plates, the flaking is particularly frustrating bc you are trying to get your numbers up. In my head, EVEN low interest is good because I don't have ALOT to work with and that will come with meeting other girls .so I will admit, I am a little bit more prone to try to convert a flake than most. that's just my honest two cents as a newbie.

But I will admit, i am starting to understand the thinking of and mentality you are supposed to have. it's just hard when your not spinning a lot of plates lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I will be honest.. as a newbie, i see myself in this thread a lot and it let's me know how mentally far I have to go.

Considering I don't have a lot of plates, the flaking is particularly frustrating bc you are trying to get your numbers up. In my head, EVEN low interest is good because I don't have ALOT to work with and that will come with meeting other girls .so I will admit, I am a little bit more prone to try to convert a flake than most. that's just my honest two cents as a newbie.

But I will admit, i am starting to understand the thinking of andoing mentalit you are supposed to have. it's just hard when your not spinning a lot of plates lol.

Flaking is a bunch of BS! To me it indicates that they do not RESPECT your time. What if you took all this time and some money to make the plans, and her GF's or whomever have a last second plan that she wants to attend. It's BS!

Like they say, sufficient interest it won't happen. They will respect you and be on time like it's a JOB that they WANT. If it's a JOB they don't really want and they want another, they will be late, will be laxidazial, will put in much less than a high effort.

 

[Roober]

As someone once told me... "you are too available" and it looks like they know it too. If a girl cancelled 30 mins before a date, I would respond with something nonchalant and ghost her. It is damn near impossible to make plans at that point...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

As someone once told me... "you are too available" and it looks like they know it too. If a girl cancelled 30 mins before a date, I would respond with something nonchalant and ghost her. It is damn near impossible to make plans at that point...

How about a flake on a NBA playoff game... And they LOVE basketball. To hang with some homegirls really doing nothing? To me that's like an intentional punch in the gut.

 

[Roober]

How about a flake on a NBA playoff game... And they LOVE basketball. To hang with some homegirls really doing nothing? To me that's like an intentional punch in the gut.

Eesh! I would murder someone... although I wouldn't take anyone other than a GF to a NBA playoff game, shizz wayyyy too expensive

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Eesh! I would murder someone... although I wouldn't take anyone other than a GF to a NBA playoff game, shizz wayyyy too expensive

It WAS a GF! And her girls explained to me she is BULL****TING, and I need to do a whole bunch of $hit on her and turn the tables!

 

[RangerMIke]

Considering I don't have a lot of plates, the flaking is particularly frustrating bc you are trying to get your numbers up. In my head, EVEN low interest is good because I don't have ALOT to work with and that will come with meeting other girls .so I will admit, I am a little bit more prone to try to convert a flake than most. that's just my honest two cents as a newbie.

The best advice I can give any man is to first fix yourself. Workout, get rid of bad habits, find a purpose in life and work on your career. Be the best person you can be. Then fix your mindset, eliminate limiting beliefs, be optimistic, become a glass is half full kind of person... you will be more happy and attractive.....

..... then worry about women. But the key to success with women is not giving a fvck about them. If you approach dating and worry about numbers and success you are sowing the seeds of your own failure. Never focus on any one chick, you have to have the attitude that ALL WOMEN are the same, because they are. There are no 'special' girls, or 'favorite plates'. Never try to 'convert a flake' EVER, FVCK her.... who cares, she's just another woman... there are hundreds of available women within driving distance of any dude. Why worry about one that has already demonstrated by her actions that she doesn't give fvck about you?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The best advice I can give any man is to first fix yourself. Workout, get rid of bad habits, find a purpose in life and work on your career. Be the best person you can be. Then fix your mindset, eliminate limiting beliefs, be optimistic, become a glass is half full kind of person... you will be more happy and attractive.....

This is AWESOME advise and the way it has to be. you should be HAPPY without babes. And they should ADD to your happiness. We should be focused on our PURPOSE, our GOALS and our RESPONSIBILITIES. And being happy is attractive.

..... then worry about women. But the key to success with women is not giving a fvck about them. If you approach dating and worry about numbers and success you are sowing the seeds of your own failure. Never focus on any one chick, you have to have the attitude that ALL WOMEN are the same, because they are. There are no 'special' girls, or 'favorite plates'. Never try to 'convert a flake' EVER, FVCK her.... who cares, she's just another woman... there are hundreds of available women within driving distance of any dude. Why worry about one that has already demonstrated by her actions that she doesn't give fvck about you?

The women will be there watching you on your comeup, and then you will get h0ez who are attracted to you like CHEERLEADERS, but you have to be your own CHEERLEADER first. And them women are no better than you, UNLESS she is super disciplined, focused a master planner, etc and you are a lazy bum then I say she IS BETTER, lol.

 

[BreezyB84]

The best advice I can give any man is to first fix yourself. Workout, get rid of bad habits, find a purpose in life and work on your career. Be the best person you can be. Then fix your mindset, eliminate limiting beliefs, be optimistic, become a glass is half full kind of person... you will be more happy and attractive.....

..... then worry about women. But the key to success with women is not giving a fvck about them. If you approach dating and worry about numbers and success you are sowing the seeds of your own failure. Never focus on any one chick, you have to have the attitude that ALL WOMEN are the same, because they are. There are no 'special' girls, or 'favorite plates'. Never try to 'convert a flake' EVER, FVCK her.... who cares, she's just another woman... there are hundreds of available women within driving distance of any dude. Why worry about one that has already demonstrated by her actions that she doesn't give fvck about you?

I completely dig this sir...I really do. I'm on the end of the spectrum where I have my other **** in order,yet I never learned any of this. I am just relating out of inexperience but it is a process because you never know how far off you are until you have to actually fix it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I completely dig this sir...I really do. I'm on the end of the spectrum where I have my other **** in order,yet I never learned any of this. I am just relating out of inexperience but it is a process because you never know how far off you are until you have to actually fix it.

How is your body game? That's over 1/2 the battle. With enough physical attraction you can make a lot of mistakes. And then dress, what are you draping your kingly body in?

 

[dude99]

Hi men,

I've following the boards and the sphere for quite some time now. I have developed myself and steadily rose in status, body composition, smarts etc. throughout the years, and the sphere had big impact on that.

However, I've been out of game for some time, several years. Now I'm coming back and I have great success in creating initial interest in girls and taking their numbers, but for some f**ing reason many of them flake.

1.
For instance, there was a girl with which I had plenty of IOIs, she was touching me, smiling, when I went to tell her to give me her number she was very excited and she on her own said: 'we can grab a coffee these days' etc.

The next day I call her and set up a meeting in a bar for the following day. She says: 'yes, let's do this'. Then on the date (the day after that) I text her the place (it's close by) and the time. She says: 'perfect, see you there'.

Half hour before the time she sends a message: 'I'm not feeling so well, cannot come but we can reschedule for [a specific day]'. I respond (after 15 mins): 'Alright, [specific day] it is. Get well. And prepare to make it up ' And she responds: 'hahaha okok'

And I think to myself, well, this is good, she's interested, she probably really was sick but she rescheduled so that's great.

The day of the rescheduled date I write her a message saying: 'same time same place' and 'see you tonight'. And she replies (after an hour!): 'Hey! I would be at my exercising class'. I reply: 'When?' and then 'Cancel that, I'm way more interesting '

She then replies: 'Hahaha I need to exercise or I will die, I've been studying the whole day...etc' and 'Do you have FB'? I say: 'No FB' and 'Don't worry, I'll pretend your body is like you just had your exercise'

And then she replies with an invitation to another night where I can join with my friends (that she met the first time). And I replied: 'I'll have a lot of work the following day' and 'Alright, I'll be at the bar from 9 to probably 11' and 'Give me a ring if you change your mind'. And I or she didn't write anything afterwards.

What the hell?! From very interested to flaking twice (and my mindset or tactics did not change)?!

2.
Another situation (in short): I went out with a girl, escalated rather late (maybe 1 hour after meeting went to turn her head and kiss her, she responded well but said 'I don't want to go out and kiss people like that') but it was not terrible, got to kiss her at the end of the date, she said she had great time etc. and all is great. (This one also asked if I had FB at the beginning of the messages exchange, it seems that this happens when they want to transfer me from higher to lower value by putting me on another, low-value-associated medium like FB. I steadily refuse this, but it anyway gets me nowhere)

Then after some days (a week maybe) I wrote her some messages in the sense: I'm back, was thinking about you being a good girl and buying me coffee this week. And she replies: 'hahaha what happens if I'm a bad girl?' and I reply: 'bad girl get a special treatment 8) (the smile with sun glassess)'.

Then two days after that I write: 'I'm free on friday' and 'let's find out your type'. No response. Then after 3 days I write: 'hey, are you up for some coffee this week?' She replies after 2 days with: I just saw the message, I have a lot for studying (partially true), it's better on friday, or next week' and I say: 'I'll think of something and let you know' etc

Then days later I write a message: 'Tuesday is free for me, let's catch up with some coffee and wine'. And no response. (BTW she replies after days, and acts as if she didn't receive the message and then 'oh I'm sorry I just saw your message')

What the hell?!

===================================

Totally disrespectful. I got my basics largely under control. I'm not a table monkey and clown when meeting women so that I will give them emotional roller-coaster dramas (I don't care at all about their dramatic needs), but I am composed, confident and get their numbers easily by creating quiet interest (I'm a lot more like Todd than Tyler or Max).

But why the hell do they flake so much even after showing good interest?! Can you recommend something (with these girls and with me)?

It feeds their ego to have as many orbiters as possible. They can put on the greatest show, pretending to be interested in you when the truth is they do notgivee a rats schitt about you.

Women lie. Get used to it, it's just a fact of life. Society has made it ok for women to lie because men have let them get away with it.

A woman can pretend to be interested in you, tell you everything you want to hear, pretend they like you all to get you on the hook because it does 2 things. Raises their value in their eyes and in their girlfriends eyes and the second it entertains them knowing they can make a guy who they have no interest in dating jump through hoops for them.

Learn to screen and weed out the time wasters.

 

[dude99]

As someone once told me... "you are too available" and it looks like they know it too. If a girl cancelled 30 mins before a date, I would respond with something nonchalant and ghost her. It is damn near impossible to make plans at that point...

Being too available will teach the girls that flaking on you is ok

I find the best approach is when they cancel an hour before the date and they try to reschedule another time is to not be available when they try to reschedule. An hour before the date they cancel and say how about next Wednesday etc, sorry dear i have plans. I will have to get back you you when i am available.

I find when you reject them, it triggers their ego. Women aren't used to being rejected. This triggers challenge.

I did this to a girl years ago who cancelled on me an hour before the date and tried to half heartedly reschedule. I told her to 3 times she suggested i wasn't available and i would call her when i had time. A week of silence and then she was blowing up my phone. She attempted to make 3 dates with me. All 3 i then cancelled an hour before the date. She continued to chace me for weeks, all while i showed disinterest in her. She became one of my best FB'S. Best part. I gave zero f/cks about her after she flaked.

 

[Roober]

Being too available will teach the girls that flaking on you is ok

I find the best approach is when they cancel an hour before the date and they try to reschedule another time is to not be available when they try to reschedule. An hour before the date they cancel and say how about next Wednesday etc, sorry dear i have plans. I will have to get back you you when i am available.

I find when you reject them, it triggers their ego. Women aren't used to being rejected. This triggers challenge.

I did this to a girl years ago who cancelled on me an hour before the date and tried to half heartedly reschedule. I told her to 3 times she suggested i wasn't available and i would call her when i had time. A week of silence and then she was blowing up my phone. She attempted to make 3 dates with me. All 3 i then cancelled an hour before the date. She continued to chace me for weeks, all while i showed disinterest in her. She became one of my best FB'S. Best part. I gave zero f/cks about her after she flaked.

Well played! Is that part of "working their emotions"? Women need a man that can make her feel all the good and the bad....

 

[wifehunter]

For Flaking and other signs of low interests... Especially if they showed interest beforehand = mixed signals.

Mixed signals = poor behavior

Poor behavior = walk away

The math is very simple in most cases.