"Why do you care?"

[BlueAlpha1]

Forgive me for the out of left field mini rant, but as an extension of @Infern0 's rant on the resident chest beaters & @Tenacity 's many rants to the same end, I am so tired of the guys on this forum who seek out many different threads and then leave a reply to the effect of "why do you care?"

We fvcking get it dude, you're just a stone cold "sociopath" with ice running through your veins, whose never received a rush of oxytocin from a woman or ever thought about an ex years later, because you're just so damn alpha. (That must be why you've got thousands of posts on a self-improvement forum for struggling men.)

It's always the same sh*t:

"My boy is getting married and I'm worried about him."
"Why do you care? You're jealous, blah blah blah"

"My ex did something nice for me after 1 year of NC, should I reply?"
"Why do you care? Focus on you, blah blah blah"

"Hi I'm new here & a girl I really liked flaked on me, it stung a bit."
"Why do you care? Spin more plates, beta faggot!"

People care about different things for different reasons, so it is just about the most useless response I can think of and rarely helps the OP. Unless you understand that there are more than a few phonies who actually get a rush from playing up this alpha meme of extreme nonchalance. And we can see right through it men.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP, you simply sound bitter because you can't understand how someone can be in control of their own life, thoughts and emotions instead allowing others to control them.

It has nothing to do with being alpha, it has to do with understanding that most men spend 95% of their energy and efforts attempting to create more interest in women they already have instead of simply finding new women that have a high interest level already.

And this is the single most important concept that will simplify any mans life. Direct energy and effort into finding interested women rather than directing it towards women you are already talking to/texting/dating that aren't interested. It's OK to simply let them go...in fact you SHOULD let them go and find other women that have a high interest level already because it prevents all of the issues you talk about in and of itself.

Once you understand and embrace this concept, it becomes easy to not care because you end up with more women than you have time for. In fact, at some points you are thankful because you can end up spreading yourself too thin and when one or two drop off its more of a relief than anything...

 

[wifehunter]

I try to ignore it. Fools will aways open their mouths, before they've heard the whole story. No empathy, is a red flag.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I try to ignore it. Fools will aways open their mouths, before they've heard the whole story. No empathy, is a red flag.

In the vast majority of the cases the whole story isn't needed. Most of the time it is what I posted about up thread...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Though I am absolutely on board with the philosophy of 'Why do you care?', I also understand that a lot of people, especially new guys, need an extended explanation and breakdown of logic pertaining to exactly why they shouldn't care.

The assumption herein is oftentimes that pure natural-born alpha males don't care about anything, which is obviously horsesh!t. Nothing would ever get done If that was the case. Naturals simply deal with their emotional responses in a calm, collected and usually private manner. If the only answer you ever needed was 'Why do you care?', this forum and others like it would be redundant; or just contain one sweeping mission statement of 'Whatever your problem is, just don't care.'

The human condition is slightly more complex than that, and I'd argue that he who claims not to care about anything, especially the subject of women, is lying to himself, denying his own emotions first and foremost. This is quite, quite different to actually facing them and actually dealing with them. This is the very reason you see a lot of negativity towards females, along with the faux nonchalance.

It is easy to tell oneself that you dont care, which is a negative mindset to hold on to anyway. Far more difficult to learn genuine indifference, i.e. it's not that one 'doesn't care', rather one is at least content, whatever the weather.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

OP, you simply sound bitter because you can't understand how someone can be in control of their own life, thoughts and emotions instead allowing others to control them.

Bitter? Nonsense.

This thread was a response to the few dozen posters on this forum who always think that by responding "who cares?" every time a poster has a problem he's establishing some sort of alpha cred. Because let's face it, a lot of guys have an obsession with defiance and "not giving a fvck", which comes off as phony. But particularly when they push it on others is when it gets rather annoying.

What you're missing is the fact that it's always a pattern with the same posters doing it, and the fact is their own realities usually don't align with that sort of arrogant response. And most of the time, it's a reality unproductive response because for some reason the OP does care. And telling him not to doesn't help at all.

 

[Tenacity]

People care about different things for different reasons, so it is just about the most useless response I can think of and rarely helps the OP. Unless you understand that there are more than a few phonies who actually get a rush from playing up this alpha meme of extreme nonchalance. And we can see right through it men.

It's the result of not having to be accountable for the "image" you display on the forum.

For example, on my industry's related discussion forums, we routinely have "guys" that nobody knows who run around talking about how they are killing it and the rest of us are worthless pikers lol. But there's no document trail, reports, nor any type of proof in relation to them "killing it", matter of fact, nobody even knows who the hell they are.

The guys who everybody knows, is public, and their numbers are visible/reported, you usually NEVER see them running around talking about how they are "killing it". They usually just position themselves as guys who are willing to "give back advice" to people who are looking to improve/make it and the advice they provide is full of actual WAR STORIES from the field, not armchair/keyboard quarterback regurgitated theories. They also never position themselves as any type of "top dog" even though...they ARE top dogs.

Now with that being said, think about this for a minute. How often does Poon King, BeTheChange, and Deesade brag about how alpha they are? How often do they brag about how much pvssy they are getting and how everybody else is just beta fag.gots who can't spell vagina? Isn't it damn near EVERY post they make lol?

Then when a guy like me asks them to just post an anonymous photobucket link with them and just ONE plate they are spinning....that simple request goes unanswered with them saying they have nothing to prove lol. But if you had nothing to prove, then why do you brag about how much pvssy you are getting every god damn post lol?

It's honestly why I don't post on Sosuave that much anymore. The shyt is becoming a cartoon fantasy land.

Everybody's ALPHA! Nobody has any issues! Everybody has it all figured the fvck out! Everybody's a fvcking millionaire!

Smh....stupid.

 

[sazc]

Though I am absolutely on board with the philosophy of 'Why do you care?', I also understand that a lot of people, especially new guys, need an extended explanation and breakdown of logic pertaining to exactly why they shouldn't care.

This is the truth. SS is a board that is designed to help men become stronger ... well.... men. Esp with newbies, they need an explanation as to why they shouldn't care. Some people get frustrated with the same type of post over and over and their reply turns into "why do you care?" Some people are better at elaborating as to why they shouldn't care. I agree that a curt "why do you care" can sting, but it's just different personalities posting.

 

[BreezyB84]

I've been here for 3 weeks and I've got the "why do you care",respond. I don't take it personal and when someone give me an answer worth value, I appreciate it more as a newbie.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Now with that being said, think about this for a minute. How often does Poon King, BeTheChange, and Deesade brag about how alpha they are? How often do they brag about how much pvssy they are getting and how everybody else is just beta fag.gots who can't spell vagina? Isn't it damn near EVERY post they make lol?

Then when a guy like me asks them to just post an anonymous photobucket link with them and just ONE plate they are spinning....that simple request goes unanswered with them saying they have nothing to prove lol. But if you had nothing to prove, then why do you brag about how much pvssy you are getting every god damn post lol?

Correct. And this excerpt below comes off as having an awful lot to prove. So you would think a reasonable request from somebody who posts something like this...

"Calender is looking crazy this coming week

Monday: Italiana (main), Sarah (insurance), ex gf (insurance), Julie (insurance)
Tuesday: Jamie (main), Leah (insurance), Angela (insurance)
Wednesday: [Salsa so don't really care if they don't turn up - essentially my hobby here is the main chick] Georgia (flaker), Celia (insurance and a flaker), ex gf (insurance)
Thursday: [Salsa again] Charlotte (insurance)
Friday: Diane (main), Francis (insurance and a flaker)
Saturday: Rest day
Sunday: Tyra (main), Hannah (insurance)


The bolded ones are the girls I'm most excited about. The four girls bolded are re all solid 8s and up."

The girls in Italics are ones I've already fvcked who have come back into the fold but either don't excite me due to not having that sex appeal (Italiana), less reliable (Hannah) or just crazy (ex gf).

I had 3 girls in a week two weeks ago. I'm aiming for 5 different girls this week. Going to report on each one. This here game is funny!"

...would be to post a picture with at least ONE of these women. Don't want to show your face in public? Just cut your face out of the pic, have the girl in it, and one of you hold a sheet of paper with the letter B. I don't care if it's Leah, Mia, Felicia, Tyquesha, Italy, Georgia, Charlotte, Wyoming, or the ex gf (brilliant), just give us SOMETHING because that post is very, very telling. What do they say about empty barrels and noise?

 

[Infern0]

The baggers have probably got NPD and are trying to get supply by being praised by the posters who don't just see straight through them

Just a theory

 

[logicallefty]

Some of it is just tough love and trying to help you reframe...

Agreed. Tough love is probably the majority of it. Guys who mean well and genuinely think saying that "why do you care" is helpful. IMO though a guy who is going to answer this way, even trying to help, needs to first stop and think back to his own days of being beta and blue pill. Or at the very least, when he wasn't as mentally tough as now. Tough love isn't always an effective technique. Back in 2004 when my wife left me, the marriage counselor told me to "Just get over it and move on". After 12 years, just move on?? Today I could handle a statement like that and see it for what it really is and is intended to be. But back then, it blew my mind. Crushed me and made things worse at the already worst possible time.

I also think that a few folks who answer this way are really truly being d|cks and thinking their sh|t don't stink. But again, I think the majority are the former and mean well.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Agreed. Tough love is probably the majority of it. Guys who mean well and genuinely think saying that "why do you care" is helpful. IMO though a guy who is going to answer this way, even trying to help, needs to first stop and think back to his own days of being beta and blue pill. Or at the very least, when he wasn't as mentally tough as now. Tough love isn't always an effective technique. Back in 2004 when my wife left me, the marriage counselor told me to "Just get over it and move on". After 12 years, just move on?? Today I could handle a statement like that and see it for what it really is and is intended to be. But back then, it blew my mind. Crushed me and made things worse at the already worst possible time.

I also think that a few folks who answer this way are really truly being d|cks and thinking their sh|t don't stink. But again, I think the majority are the former and mean well.

What you would call "tough love" I would call ignorance, and that's the well meaning ones. Telling a beta male who just got blindsided by a BPD or divorce raped to spin more plates is the equivalent of a person with two parents telling an orphan to "be strong" and it's straight up ignorance. Tough love is more along the lines of telling a guy whose gone back to the same ex 15 times to man up and quit being an idiot.

The ones who don't mean so well are just insecure frauds who are trying to establish street cred as an alpha. I know guys like this in real life, who can't get through a conversation about politics or religion without talking about how he "dun fvcked a lotta bishes". It's overcompensation and it stems from this idea that extreme nonchalance makes you a badass.

 

[KingofPuss]

I believe there's a balance. I believe you should care and have feelings (or emotions or whatever) but don't force them onto others. No man wants to listen to your issues and problems. That's a very feminine mindset.

But you also should not completely stop giving a hoot. Internalize your feelings and sort through to BS. Some things, yes you should care about. Other things you should let die and forget about. Control what you can and live with what you can't.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I believe there's a balance. I believe you should care and have feelings (or emotions or whatever) but don't force them onto others. No man wants to listen to your issues and problems. That's a very feminine mindset.

But you also should not completely stop giving a hoot. Internalize your feelings and sort through to BS. Some things, yes you should care about. Other things you should let die and forget about. Control what you can and live with what you can't.

While I agree that a man should generally navigate life without complaining about his job, girlfriend, and everything else, I feel that's what this forum is for to an extent. That because it's anonymous and we're all generally like minded, there should be a longer leash for that kinda thing because life is pretty damn hard.

If a man takes care of his business and his stoic about his real life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him letting some of it out on this forum without having to be called a beta faggot or told not to care.

 

[KingofPuss]

While I agree that a man should generally navigate life without complaining about his job, girlfriend, and everything else, I feel that's what this forum is for to an extent. That because it's anonymous and we're all generally like minded, there should be a longer leash for that kinda thing because life is pretty damn hard.

If a man takes care of his business and his stoic about his real life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him letting some of it out on this forum without having to be called a beta faggot or told not to care.

I was talking about real life. I certainly agree that SoSuave should be a place to vent, but only to certain extents. I feel like venting makes this place no better than say loveshack or some woman's forum. Maybe we can have a forum for just that.

Too much negativity does nobody any good

 

[Tenacity]

Correct. And this excerpt below comes off as having an awful lot to prove. So you would think a reasonable request from somebody who posts something like this...

"Calender is looking crazy this coming week

Monday: Italiana (main), Sarah (insurance), ex gf (insurance), Julie (insurance)
Tuesday: Jamie (main), Leah (insurance), Angela (insurance)
Wednesday: [Salsa so don't really care if they don't turn up - essentially my hobby here is the main chick] Georgia (flaker), Celia (insurance and a flaker), ex gf (insurance)
Thursday: [Salsa again] Charlotte (insurance)
Friday: Diane (main), Francis (insurance and a flaker)
Saturday: Rest day
Sunday: Tyra (main), Hannah (insurance)


The bolded ones are the girls I'm most excited about. The four girls bolded are re all solid 8s and up."

The girls in Italics are ones I've already fvcked who have come back into the fold but either don't excite me due to not having that sex appeal (Italiana), less reliable (Hannah) or just crazy (ex gf).

I had 3 girls in a week two weeks ago. I'm aiming for 5 different girls this week. Going to report on each one. This here game is funny!"

Yeah and let's take a closer look at this, because BeTheChange isn't even making any damn sense.

- The guy just listed 15 women within a 7 day period, with 4 women being main women and 11 being rotational women.

- How the fvck is this guy managing 4 main women at one time? A main woman is a woman you spend the majority of your time with, you guys are either in a relationship or spend so much time together you "might as well" be in a relationship. How the fvck could you have 4 main relationships going on at one time? That's not even possible unless you are a loser and don't work? BeTheChange can't be a loser that doesn't work because he just said he got a new position with a media company on November 11th.

With my situation, I would usually have 1 main girl and a bunch of rotational women who are "in my phone" that I chat with from time to time, and meet up with from time to time on the side of my main girl. But I don't see the rotational women that often, nor do I talk to them on the phone that often because again, MOST of that time, energy and dating related expenses are spent on the MAIN girl. Due to my work and fitness schedule, I only have so much time (which isn't a lot) to spend on women anyway.

There's no way anybody can have 4 MAIN GIRLS at one fvcking time unless you are a loser and your "full time job" is dating chicks .

 

[AttackFormation]

Yeah and let's take a closer look at this, because BeTheChange isn't even making any damn sense.

- The guy just listed 15 women within a 7 day period, with 4 women being main women and 11 being rotational women.

- How the fvck is this guy managing 4 main women at one time? A main woman is a woman you spend the majority of your time with, you guys are either in a relationship or spend so much time together you "might as well" be in a relationship. How the fvck could you have 4 main relationships going on at one time? That's not even possible unless you are a loser and don't work? BeTheChange can't be a loser that doesn't work because he just said he got a new position with a media company on November 11th.

With my situation, I would usually have 1 main girl and a bunch of rotational women who are "in my phone" that I chat with from time to time, and meet up with from time to time on the side of my main girl. But I don't see the rotational women that often, nor do I talk to them on the phone that often because again, MOST of that time, energy and dating related expenses are spent on the MAIN girl. Due to my work and fitness schedule, I only have so much time (which isn't a lot) to spend on women anyway.

There's no way anybody can have 4 MAIN GIRLS at one fvcking time unless you are a loser and your "full time job" is dating chicks .

Man you need to stop making these continuous rants for your own sake. Even if those guys weren't around you would still have this anger that motivates this post in you and you know that too. It doesn't matter if what you're saying is true or not because this is just a pointless "fight" which you can only lose.

-

Now for the topic... being one of the guys around here who sees this forum in a more I guess "spiritual" sense than as a pick-up board, I think one of the real tests you have as a man is whether you or other people have the power of direction in your life. When a guy posts and gets a response like that, it can help them grow by seeing the perspective but questioning it which will lead to them thinking for themselves. A cold shower may not be pleasant, but it will wake you up quick.

 

[old_skoolr]

Forgive me for the out of left field mini rant, but as an extension of @Infern0 's rant on the resident chest beaters & @Tenacity 's many rants to the same end, I am so tired of the guys on this forum who seek out many different threads and then leave a reply to the effect of "why do you care?"

We fvcking get it dude, you're just a stone cold "sociopath" with ice running through your veins, whose never received a rush of oxytocin from a woman or ever thought about an ex years later, because you're just so damn alpha. (That must be why you've got thousands of posts on a self-improvement forum for struggling men.)

It's always the same sh*t:

"My boy is getting married and I'm worried about him."
"Why do you care? You're jealous, blah blah blah"

"My ex did something nice for me after 1 year of NC, should I reply?"
"Why do you care? Focus on you, blah blah blah"

"Hi I'm new here & a girl I really liked flaked on me, it stung a bit."
"Why do you care? Spin more plates, beta faggot!"

People care about different things for different reasons, so it is just about the most useless response I can think of and rarely helps the OP. Unless you understand that there are more than a few phonies who actually get a rush from playing up this alpha meme of extreme nonchalance. And we can see right through it men.

But on a serious note.....why do you care?

 

[Trump]

Forgive me for the out of left field mini rant, but as an extension of @Infern0 's rant on the resident chest beaters & @Tenacity 's many rants to the same end, I am so tired of the guys on this forum who seek out many different threads and then leave a reply to the effect of "why do you care?"

We fvcking get it dude, you're just a stone cold "sociopath" with ice running through your veins, whose never received a rush of oxytocin from a woman or ever thought about an ex years later, because you're just so damn alpha. (That must be why you've got thousands of posts on a self-improvement forum for struggling men.)

It's always the same sh*t:

"My boy is getting married and I'm worried about him."
"Why do you care? You're jealous, blah blah blah"

"My ex did something nice for me after 1 year of NC, should I reply?"
"Why do you care? Focus on you, blah blah blah"

"Hi I'm new here & a girl I really liked flaked on me, it stung a bit."
"Why do you care? Spin more plates, beta faggot!"

People care about different things for different reasons, so it is just about the most useless response I can think of and rarely helps the OP. Unless you understand that there are more than a few phonies who actually get a rush from playing up this alpha meme of extreme nonchalance. And we can see right through it men.

Come on bro, you are saying if we don't give you the response you prefer, we are lying to ourselves and you can see right through us. Isn't that alpha male cold sociopath type of thinking?

The point of 'why do you care?' isn't "don't help a friend in need" or "tell her to go hell the first chance you get", the point is don't let a 3rd party, who is off living their own life and getting married and making money and having sex and not caring if you are dead or alive, control your thoughts, feelings and emotions. I mean come on, your best buddy found the girl of his dreams, is going to get married and have kids and raise a large family, a likely won't give you a call to see whether you are dead or alive when his wife gets pregnant, and you are worried about him? Your ex doesn't care if you are dead or alive for 328 days and suddenly she says something nice and want to know how to respond?

What you said in your examples is emotional stuff that can easily be solved by knowing how to talk the right way and getting to people emotions. It's simple stuff that is usually forgetten within the week. That's why the answer is often 'why do you care." You are right, we can't tell you what to care about, but what we try to tell you to care about will help you to be a strong man, will allow you to help society with your education, experience, and knowledge, will help you be the best person you can be with women and in life.