Listen_to_Olly
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2016
- Messages
- 378
- Reaction score
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- Age
- 33
Since race does come up every now and then, I'll post this, even though some might call me a racist for it.
When it comes to race, whether it is due to the fear of being called a racist or just being naive, the experts kinda side step the discussion about it. You get the generic "be the best version of yourself" posts as well as the "you can't change it so don't worry about it" type of nonsense. I am not a minority myself but I've had friends of various races to know that race can definitely be a setback. I've seen friends of various races have success and friends of various races fail hard. That and I am in a charitable mood when it comes to advice since the Nittany Lions are now Big 10 champs!
My advice more geared towards guys of minority groups that aren't black so that includes Hispanics, Asians, and Arab Middle Easterns. It can apply to black guys but I've noticed they don't have as much struggle with women in American society as other minorities might.
It absolutely matters.
Regardless of how handsome, charismatic, and cool you are; certain kinds of girls will refuse to go for you solely based on your race. I find that this has to do with social standing in most cases, girls that run in social circles where dating a minority can hurt their social image are going to avoid you. Now depending on where you're at and the kinds of girls you're going after, this can be a pretty big deal or not an issue at all, we will get to that later.
You should probably tell your parents to get lost.
Most Asian, Indian, and Arab dudes I've known have had major issues with overly possessive parents. A lot have had to deal with their parents well past the age of 25 and they just listened to all of their nagging. After a certain age, I'd say 22, it's time to tell mom and dad to leave you alone. I find a lot of guys of foreign cultures who moved to the USA at a young age tend to struggle a lot from this to where their parents won't let them grow up and be independent. Helicopter parenting does lead to guys with confidence issues so maybe your victim mentality stems from that.
No excuses, you have to be the best version of yourself and get over your victim mentality, but that isn't enough. The basic rules for learning game, bettering your appearance, and improving yourself apply but they aren't enough.
If it was giving advice to white guys, be the best version of yourself would be enough but for minorities, that is just the starting part. Whatever insecurities, mental demons, and inner game issues you have; resolve them. You have to get over your victim's mentality, this is especially true for Asian and Indian guys I've met IRL. Life is unfair but you have to find a way to succeed regardless. The world doesn't care about your struggles, however real they may be, they just hate you whining and they want results of what you can do for them.
No one likes a loser who keeps making excuses, even if the excuses are valid, you just have to find a way to make it work for you. You're going to need to be tough to make it through, something I will get to later.
As for your looks, get in shape, this goes for Asian and especially Indian dudes. Get good haircuts and dress in appropriate style for your location, speaking of that......
Your location matters a lot.
I've witnessed this, reasonably higher value guys dating way down in one location while their uglier counterparts were having more success with hotter girls in another. I think location matters when you're a white guy too because some cities and towns are just horrible for almost everyone, it just matters even more when you're a minority. While you should be improving yourself and trying to be the best you can be, you have to put together a plan in order to be in a better location. As for what cities, well you need to do your research there but there are some places that are obviously going to be out of the question.
Miami, Chicago, and Seattle are some cities that come to mind for being good to minorities, you're going to have to find others yourself.
I don't care how much game, swagger, or looks you have in this world; you're probably not going to pull hot blondes as some Pakistani in Kentucky, and speaking of hot blondes.....
Some types of girls are just not going to be attainable for you, especially not the LIKE OMG airhead blondes some of you might go crazy for. Stop wasting your time.
I get it, some of you want to date the latte sipping blonde hottie in order to feel more accepted by mainstream culture. Well, I have some bad news, you're not going to have much luck there at all if you're anything other than a white or maybe a black guy (a mix between the two counts too). A lot of these girls come from judgmental social circles full of AMOG-type dudebros who will do everything to stop her from getting with you and her friends are going to try to talk her out of it too. Many of these girls value social image a lot so they're not going to bother with you.
Hate me all you want, call me a racist, but this is just the truth. Girls from that subculture generally hold a low opinion of guys from minority groups, black guys being the exception to that rule.
Generally speaking, if you're going after white girls who value social image a lot, you're going to have a very rough time as a minority. All other kinds of girls are more or less going to be fair game.
There are plenty that will be open to going for you.
Even if blondes are your thing.
A Pakistani friend of mines had a thing for blonde girls but he wasn't having any luck with the airhead types, guy himself is tall and in good shape but he looks a lot like the dude from the movie Elysium. One day he decides to do night game, says screw it, and just approach any blonde he sees, luckily this is in NYC. He approaches one tall beauty, she had a foreign accent and was from Russia. After a couple of dates, he ended up sleeping with her and dating her. A few months later that didn't work out so he went crazy with night game again, lucked out with this blonde stunner from Denmark, dated her for a while.
My Asian friend has witnessed similar success, he does well with the tall blondes from Europe and has even been with one tall blonde from a small country town in the USA, not the case at all with the stereotypical airhead obsessed with American culture. All that time you wasted going after some airhead from the suburbs, who knows, you could have landed her blonde euro counterpart.
You're probably going to get a lot of **** for having success and find out what a bunch of hypocrites people are, toughen up and get used to it.
Don't expect society to be happy that you're doing well, expect the opposite and you'll realize that maybe it is not even whites who are racist most of the times.
My Asian friend manages to date cute white girls somewhat often, he gets hate from Asian girls who only go for white guys as well as his Asian aunt who is married to a white guy. Random white washed Asian girls have made racist comments right to his face. One time his aunt tried to get one girl he was dating at the time to leave him and openly said "you can have all the white men in the world you want, why bother him?". I could also get into how much hate he has to deal with from other Asian guys as well as guys from other minority groups saying racist things right to his face.
While talking to my Asian friend, he joked, if you want to get a good litmus test of race relations in American society, be a minority and start dating a cute white girl. My friend can deal with it though, because he is tough, most wouldn't be able to.
When it comes to race, whether it is due to the fear of being called a racist or just being naive, the experts kinda side step the discussion about it. You get the generic "be the best version of yourself" posts as well as the "you can't change it so don't worry about it" type of nonsense. I am not a minority myself but I've had friends of various races to know that race can definitely be a setback. I've seen friends of various races have success and friends of various races fail hard. That and I am in a charitable mood when it comes to advice since the Nittany Lions are now Big 10 champs!
My advice more geared towards guys of minority groups that aren't black so that includes Hispanics, Asians, and Arab Middle Easterns. It can apply to black guys but I've noticed they don't have as much struggle with women in American society as other minorities might.
It absolutely matters.
Regardless of how handsome, charismatic, and cool you are; certain kinds of girls will refuse to go for you solely based on your race. I find that this has to do with social standing in most cases, girls that run in social circles where dating a minority can hurt their social image are going to avoid you. Now depending on where you're at and the kinds of girls you're going after, this can be a pretty big deal or not an issue at all, we will get to that later.
You should probably tell your parents to get lost.
Most Asian, Indian, and Arab dudes I've known have had major issues with overly possessive parents. A lot have had to deal with their parents well past the age of 25 and they just listened to all of their nagging. After a certain age, I'd say 22, it's time to tell mom and dad to leave you alone. I find a lot of guys of foreign cultures who moved to the USA at a young age tend to struggle a lot from this to where their parents won't let them grow up and be independent. Helicopter parenting does lead to guys with confidence issues so maybe your victim mentality stems from that.
No excuses, you have to be the best version of yourself and get over your victim mentality, but that isn't enough. The basic rules for learning game, bettering your appearance, and improving yourself apply but they aren't enough.
If it was giving advice to white guys, be the best version of yourself would be enough but for minorities, that is just the starting part. Whatever insecurities, mental demons, and inner game issues you have; resolve them. You have to get over your victim's mentality, this is especially true for Asian and Indian guys I've met IRL. Life is unfair but you have to find a way to succeed regardless. The world doesn't care about your struggles, however real they may be, they just hate you whining and they want results of what you can do for them.
No one likes a loser who keeps making excuses, even if the excuses are valid, you just have to find a way to make it work for you. You're going to need to be tough to make it through, something I will get to later.
As for your looks, get in shape, this goes for Asian and especially Indian dudes. Get good haircuts and dress in appropriate style for your location, speaking of that......
Your location matters a lot.
I've witnessed this, reasonably higher value guys dating way down in one location while their uglier counterparts were having more success with hotter girls in another. I think location matters when you're a white guy too because some cities and towns are just horrible for almost everyone, it just matters even more when you're a minority. While you should be improving yourself and trying to be the best you can be, you have to put together a plan in order to be in a better location. As for what cities, well you need to do your research there but there are some places that are obviously going to be out of the question.
Miami, Chicago, and Seattle are some cities that come to mind for being good to minorities, you're going to have to find others yourself.
I don't care how much game, swagger, or looks you have in this world; you're probably not going to pull hot blondes as some Pakistani in Kentucky, and speaking of hot blondes.....
Some types of girls are just not going to be attainable for you, especially not the LIKE OMG airhead blondes some of you might go crazy for. Stop wasting your time.
I get it, some of you want to date the latte sipping blonde hottie in order to feel more accepted by mainstream culture. Well, I have some bad news, you're not going to have much luck there at all if you're anything other than a white or maybe a black guy (a mix between the two counts too). A lot of these girls come from judgmental social circles full of AMOG-type dudebros who will do everything to stop her from getting with you and her friends are going to try to talk her out of it too. Many of these girls value social image a lot so they're not going to bother with you.
Hate me all you want, call me a racist, but this is just the truth. Girls from that subculture generally hold a low opinion of guys from minority groups, black guys being the exception to that rule.
Generally speaking, if you're going after white girls who value social image a lot, you're going to have a very rough time as a minority. All other kinds of girls are more or less going to be fair game.
There are plenty that will be open to going for you.
Even if blondes are your thing.
A Pakistani friend of mines had a thing for blonde girls but he wasn't having any luck with the airhead types, guy himself is tall and in good shape but he looks a lot like the dude from the movie Elysium. One day he decides to do night game, says screw it, and just approach any blonde he sees, luckily this is in NYC. He approaches one tall beauty, she had a foreign accent and was from Russia. After a couple of dates, he ended up sleeping with her and dating her. A few months later that didn't work out so he went crazy with night game again, lucked out with this blonde stunner from Denmark, dated her for a while.
My Asian friend has witnessed similar success, he does well with the tall blondes from Europe and has even been with one tall blonde from a small country town in the USA, not the case at all with the stereotypical airhead obsessed with American culture. All that time you wasted going after some airhead from the suburbs, who knows, you could have landed her blonde euro counterpart.
You're probably going to get a lot of **** for having success and find out what a bunch of hypocrites people are, toughen up and get used to it.
Don't expect society to be happy that you're doing well, expect the opposite and you'll realize that maybe it is not even whites who are racist most of the times.
My Asian friend manages to date cute white girls somewhat often, he gets hate from Asian girls who only go for white guys as well as his Asian aunt who is married to a white guy. Random white washed Asian girls have made racist comments right to his face. One time his aunt tried to get one girl he was dating at the time to leave him and openly said "you can have all the white men in the world you want, why bother him?". I could also get into how much hate he has to deal with from other Asian guys as well as guys from other minority groups saying racist things right to his face.
While talking to my Asian friend, he joked, if you want to get a good litmus test of race relations in American society, be a minority and start dating a cute white girl. My friend can deal with it though, because he is tough, most wouldn't be able to.