Attractive Female Doctor's Theory on Attraction

[Reyaj]

I'm just reminisicng as I'm starting to log the experiences with women I have had for theories.

I had met this attractive female doctor off Tinder last year. We had talked on the phone for long periods of time, and even texted often asking each other questions. So anyway we decided to meet one day for drinks at a place near where I live.

She got there first and was sitting at the bar.. when I got there I went up to her to give her a hug. She saw me and really had a very stoic reaction... She gave me a weak hug and we sat down. She basically looked forward the whole time and seemed very disinterested in chatting with me. I actually felt she was being very rude, but I did get her to chat a little throughout the date... I think she only had one drink, and then I basically ended the date saying I was tired or some bs.. I walked with her to her car and gave her a hug, her's was weak of course...

I then texted her afterwards telling her something sarcastic which at first she misunderstood to mean that i liked her and had a nice time. She responded back with something like "I'm glad you had a nice time!" I even told her we should be friends (trying to friend her first) and she said she had enough friends and no need for anymore... I think I ended up calling her fat or something lol and that was that.

Anyway the point of this is that this girl wasn't interested in me at all, but she didn't even give me a chance as I feel she knew off the bat of seeing me that she wasn't. Now I know everyone has different taste, but I definitely don't deem myself to be ugly...

Now what's interesting is that one of my friends who looks completely different than me starting randomly chatting her up on FB. She is into him (hasn't met him yet) but I was over his house one day and I started asking her questions through FB about how view on how she knows she is into a guy. Here is what she said:

"I believe in chemistry. I think of people as molecule that bounce around and eventually stick to each other. Some attract, some repel, etc"

This girl has slept with a few guys before and after meeting me... So do you all think her theory really just means it's about looks or does it actually have merit where there is scientific bs that happens without our knowledge???

 

[Once Bitten]

I wouldn't give it a second thought. Trying to read into what makes a woman think the way she does and why is a total waste of time. If you didn't make the cut then, you won't later.
Just go fishing somewhere else. She may even come up to you later and use you as a social tool to elevate herself with someone else. This has happened to me. Just leave her be. Who knows what the hell she's thinking, and who cares, she may have done you a favor.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Reyaj,
You know as well as I do what the reason is!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Had countless dates like this, not even worth to send a nice to meet you text right after.

You did the right thing to end the date sooner than planned since you noticed it was a bad deal but you gave too much of a fvck about after, you probably are a more civilized person than me, in your place I would have just delete her number and forget about her.

Wheter she turned lukewarm cause you arrived late and she was waiting or any other reason you surely didnt lose anything.

 

[sazc]

someone once told me that you do the online thing and draw the texting out for too long before actually meeting someone because you both end up building a fantasy version of the other person in your head and it is a letdown when you meet for real b/c the person doesnt match to the fantasy version you built. I believe it.

do not draw out texting for more than 1-2 days. Ask for the number, make a date then keep interaction to a minimum before you meet. if you need to, just say "really busy will chat more when we meet"

 

[Pandora]

This is what i have been saying for a long time now. Attraction is truly mysterious. Our urges are built from our subconscious thoughts. What you are attracted to is based on what your subconscious is attracted to. Based on a woman's early experiences is what she will be attracted to. For example if she had a strong father she will like strong guys, if she grew up idolizing white celebrities she might like white guys, if she grew up around black dudes she might like black dudes, etc etc. There are millions of variations to this. The point is that women truly feel a certain chemistry. Now this is not saying that they cant override not feeling the tingles. They do that all the time. They do it when they marry a beta provider. They do it when they fu** their boss for a promotion. One girl i know fu*** her friendzone guy to try to figure out why she didnt feel tingles. But even after the sex ( which was good by her accounts) she still didnt feel that visceral attraction for him. WTF!

Thats part of the reason you sometimes see hot women with ugly dudes. Somewhere in their brain they get actually turned on by it. People have fetishes. Attraction is really a personal fetish. Fetishes rarely make sense on the surface. So believe women when they say they can tell right away if they like you. Its true. Its not based so much on looks but more on their subconscious reacting to something. This is why most hook ups happen when the girl is showing consistent high interest. If you have to resort to serious "game" then the sex is largely negotiated. This means she is using her reason to fu*k you and not her subconscious tingles. Basically she might have sex with you but she is not viscerally attracted to you. You want a girl to tell her gfs " i dont know why i like him, i just do and i hate it". Most of the time its not your behavior. Most of the work had already been done for you by the girls subconscious.

This doesnt mean that a girl cant screw it up. These days many women override their subconscious attraction for you because of insecurities and other feminist nonsense. This is why you can sex with a girl quickly and every time she sees you she is all over you, but once you leave she is playing texts games etc etc. But the true test of this magical chemistry is if when you are around her does she cant help but to get physical with you.

 

[Fruitbat]

If attraction is subjective, then why do we have an issue with people finding partners?

Attraction is primarily biologically driven. If you are short, have bad hair/eyes/teeth you are going to have a hard time. Also, personality wise, if you naturally don't lead or lack confidence, gonna have a bad time.

Confidence I believe is again very much biology driven. The boys who were stronger faster and more attractive develop self esteem, the others don't, or do it more difficulty.

Biology hand you your role, you fill it. That's why I believe sexual liberation hurts many people. Women will hang around alpha sperm, the old model of sexual fidelity protected society somewhat from this and allowed all men the chance to breed easy. As a woman has no support, she chose on factors other than jock sperm. The whole deal now is going back to cavemen.

Women may have quirks between the types of men they like, but a bank ballance, social respect, money (whether earned or not - it's resources, end of) will automatically make you attractive. What will trump all of that again are good genetics and the others often follow that. I've lost count of the number of thick "professionals" I meet who know nothing but look the part - tall, dark and handsome. These guys get picked de facto for the best roles and the arrogance and self worth develop from that, not the other way around.

That's why this confidence bull**** is touted around. Having good genetics builds confidence based on society and women automatically favouring you, confidence is the code word for this. Telling average men to act like top 10% men doesn't help. You can only act like that if you have the genetic capital in the bank.

It's like when fat women think if they dress and act sexy and have sexual confidence, it makes them nubile and hot. That's only doable if you ARE hot. Advice should always be to work at the gym or build your income to display a better picture of ones genetics, not to worry about how attraction works, it's really very simple.

 

[Who Dares Win]

If attraction is subjective, then why do we have an issue with people finding partners?

Attraction is primarily biologically driven. If you are short, have bad hair/eyes/teeth you are going to have a hard time. Also, personality wise, if you naturally don't lead or lack confidence, gonna have a bad time.

Confidence I believe is again very much biology driven. The boys who were stronger faster and more attractive develop self esteem, the others don't, or do it more difficulty.

Biology hand you your role, you fill it. That's why I believe sexual liberation hurts many people. Women will hang around alpha sperm, the old model of sexual fidelity protected society somewhat from this and allowed all men the chance to breed easy. As a woman has no support, she chose on factors other than jock sperm. The whole deal now is going back to cavemen.

Women may have quirks between the types of men they like, but a bank ballance, social respect, money (whether earned or not - it's resources, end of) will automatically make you attractive. What will trump all of that again are good genetics and the others often follow that. I've lost count of the number of thick "professionals" I meet who know nothing but look the part - tall, dark and handsome. These guys get picked de facto for the best roles and the arrogance and self worth develop from that, not the other way around.

That's why this confidence bull**** is touted around. Having good genetics builds confidence based on society and women automatically favouring you, confidence is the code word for this. Telling average men to act like top 10% men doesn't help. You can only act like that if you have the genetic capital in the bank.

It's like when fat women think if they dress and act sexy and have sexual confidence, it makes them nubile and hot. That's only doable if you ARE hot. Advice should always be to work at the gym or build your income to display a better picture of ones genetics, not to worry about how attraction works, it's really very simple.

Agree on that, the "be more confident" suggestion is the biggest scum existing here, a better suggestion you would "turn yourself into greatness and confidence will come".

Also there is a word for average to ugly guys who behave confident and aggressive, the word is CREEPY and surely doesnt help.

To tell a short guy to go in the club and confidently pick up girls is like telling a homeless man to confidently go at the bank and ask for a mortgage....the result doesnt depends on your approach, it depends on what you have to back it up.

Confidence is the result of winning not some self hypnosis or some self created state of mind.

Regarding what you said which in my opinion is totally true, lets remember that according to many researches beautiful kids get more attention from their teachers and this helps them to perform better, which allows get to get higher marks and a better education therefore a better job and finance...so we basically talk of a snowball effect that starts with your simmetric face as kid and ends with you being president as adult.

 

[Pandora]

If attraction is subjective, then why do we have an issue with people finding partners?

Attraction is primarily biologically driven. If you are short, have bad hair/eyes/teeth you are going to have a hard time. Also, personality wise, if you naturally don't lead or lack confidence, gonna have a bad time.

Confidence I believe is again very much biology driven. The boys who were stronger faster and more attractive develop self esteem, the others don't, or do it more difficulty.

Biology hand you your role, you fill it. That's why I believe sexual liberation hurts many people. Women will hang around alpha sperm, the old model of sexual fidelity protected society somewhat from this and allowed all men the chance to breed easy. As a woman has no support, she chose on factors other than jock sperm. The whole deal now is going back to cavemen.

Women may have quirks between the types of men they like, but a bank ballance, social respect, money (whether earned or not - it's resources, end of) will automatically make you attractive. What will trump all of that again are good genetics and the others often follow that. I've lost count of the number of thick "professionals" I meet who know nothing but look the part - tall, dark and handsome. These guys get picked de facto for the best roles and the arrogance and self worth develop from that, not the other way around.

That's why this confidence bull**** is touted around. Having good genetics builds confidence based on society and women automatically favouring you, confidence is the code word for this. Telling average men to act like top 10% men doesn't help. You can only act like that if you have the genetic capital in the bank.

It's like when fat women think if they dress and act sexy and have sexual confidence, it makes them nubile and hot. That's only doable if you ARE hot. Advice should always be to work at the gym or build your income to display a better picture of ones genetics, not to worry about how attraction works, it's really very simple.

Hey Fruitbat i agree on some of your points but disagree on others. Attraction is objective to a certain degree you are correct. I should have emphasized that more. Brad Pitt is going to be attractive to more women than Seth Rogan. But if you fall within the average looking spectrum its really very subjective. How do you explain that you can go up to one girl and she not be interested and then you pursue another girl and she have her tongue down your throat. It is because for some unknown reason the 2nd girl had neurons that responded to your scent, your face and your demeanor. Many women date men that are not objectively attractive. One girl may have a boyfriend that her girlfriends dont find attractive. Attraction is not as cut and dry as we like to make it. There is a capricious unpredictable element to it. Women are very whimsical man. Thats why we need to not take any one particular rejection seriously. Its not based on real criteria. Just on a bunch of emotions and subconscious motivators. Many women can meet a guy that they know is attractive, funny, rich and smart and they still wont be viscerally attracted to that guy.

 

[dude99]

I'm just reminisicng as I'm starting to log the experiences with women I have had for theories.

I had met this attractive female doctor off Tinder last year. We had talked on the phone for long periods of time, and even texted often asking each other questions. So anyway we decided to meet one day for drinks at a place near where I live.

She got there first and was sitting at the bar.. when I got there I went up to her to give her a hug. She saw me and really had a very stoic reaction... She gave me a weak hug and we sat down. She basically looked forward the whole time and seemed very disinterested in chatting with me. I actually felt she was being very rude, but I did get her to chat a little throughout the date... I think she only had one drink, and then I basically ended the date saying I was tired or some bs.. I walked with her to her car and gave her a hug, her's was weak of course...

I then texted her afterwards telling her something sarcastic which at first she misunderstood to mean that i liked her and had a nice time. She responded back with something like "I'm glad you had a nice time!" I even told her we should be friends (trying to friend her first) and she said she had enough friends and no need for anymore... I think I ended up calling her fat or something lol and that was that.

Anyway the point of this is that this girl wasn't interested in me at all, but she didn't even give me a chance as I feel she knew off the bat of seeing me that she wasn't. Now I know everyone has different taste, but I definitely don't deem myself to be ugly...

Now what's interesting is that one of my friends who looks completely different than me starting randomly chatting her up on FB. She is into him (hasn't met him yet) but I was over his house one day and I started asking her questions through FB about how view on how she knows she is into a guy. Here is what she said:

"I believe in chemistry. I think of people as molecule that bounce around and eventually stick to each other. Some attract, some repel, etc"

This girl has slept with a few guys before and after meeting me... So do you all think her theory really just means it's about looks or does it actually have merit where there is scientific bs that happens without our knowledge???

You should have got up from the table and left her sitting there if she was that rude.

Not texted her afterwards not attempted any conversation with her. Just walked away.

Psychology says a women knows with in the first 30 seconds of meeting a man whether she will date him again or have sex with him.

How does she make this assessment? You bet your bottom dollar it's looks.

Sorry to say she took one look at you and since you weren't her type she was rude and made you waste your time and money for th night only to tell you " i have enough friends."

Well now you know women have no problem telling men they have enough friends, you shouldn't either next time some girl takes a look at you and wants to friend zone you.

 

[Fruitbat]

Hey Fruitbat i agree on some of your points but disagree on others. Attraction is objective to a certain degree you are correct. I should have emphasized that more. Brad Pitt is going to be attractive to more women than Seth Rogan. But if you fall within the average looking spectrum its really very subjective. How do you explain that you can go up to one girl and she not be interested and then you pursue another girl and she have her tongue down your throat. It is because for some unknown reason the 2nd girl had neurons that responded to your scent, your face and your demeanor. Many women date men that are not objectively attractive. One girl may have a boyfriend that her girlfriends dont find attractive. Attraction is not as cut and dry as we like to make it. There is a capricious unpredictable element to it. Women are very whimsical man. Thats why we need to not take any one particular rejection seriously. Its not based on real criteria. Just on a bunch of emotions and subconscious motivators. Many women can meet a guy that they know is attractive, funny, rich and smart and they still wont be viscerally attracted to that guy.

I think the idea that girl one likes a man her GF don't like is overplayed.

Consistently, without deviation, within my social group of boys growing up there were 6 of us and every single woman, without fail, went for 2 of the 6. One was a big guy type who was more of a lead by example type, good all round guy. The other was dark, smaller but Italian looking and quite aloof. Every single woman of many we met went for one of the two. You never had a girl have a quirk for me, or the other 4. There was no random liking of an average guy. To the extent that they would not even consider one of the 4 as a BF, rather taking what they could get from the 2 guys which would be described as alpha. A one night stand and heartache from those guys was pref to anything from the average dudes.

We got what they rejected - end of discussion.

What women call their quirky interest is just which of the top 10-20% they like IMO.

In the workplace, again, this repeats.

It is what it is, my biggest error was on thinking that this **** is controllable.

It's nice to think that there are nuances but in the end it's human beings looking for their offspring to have the best chance of success.

I was fat, I got fit, now I am fat again. The level of woman who would interact with me went down, up and down with my weight. It's all appearance, genetics and nothing in between. When I was buff I could be a complete wanker and get laid, when fatter it's the opposite. Just as it is for women, and propogating ideas that it's anything else is heresy. Heresy!!!!

 

[purple haze]

I think the idea that girl one likes a man her GF don't like is overplayed.

Consistently, without deviation, within my social group of boys growing up there were 6 of us and every single woman, without fail, went for 2 of the 6. One was a big guy type who was more of a lead by example type, good all round guy. The other was dark, smaller but Italian looking and quite aloof. Every single woman of many we met went for one of the two. You never had a girl have a quirk for me, or the other 4. There was no random liking of an average guy. To the extent that they would not even consider one of the 4 as a BF, rather taking what they could get from the 2 guys which would be described as alpha. A one night stand and heartache from those guys was pref to anything from the average dudes.

We got what they rejected - end of discussion.

What women call their quirky interest is just which of the top 10-20% they like IMO.

In the workplace, again, this repeats.

It is what it is, my biggest error was on thinking that this **** is controllable.

It's nice to think that there are nuances but in the end it's human beings looking for their offspring to have the best chance of success.

I was fat, I got fit, now I am fat again. The level of woman who would interact with me went down, up and down with my weight. It's all appearance, genetics and nothing in between. When I was buff I could be a complete wanker and get laid, when fatter it's the opposite. Just as it is for women, and propogating ideas that it's anything else is heresy. Heresy!!!!

I hear you. I am one of the 4, so to speak. It's been that way all of my life, it's my curse, I guess.

Anyway, I don't believe in a women's "subconscious" attracting them to homely guys. It doesn't happen. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder, and women pick the best looking men to mate with.

You put George Clooney and George Costanza in the same room. Do you think any girl will pick Constanza?

 

[Pandora]

I hear you. I am one of the 4, so to speak. It's been that way all of my life, it's my curse, I guess.

Anyway, I don't believe in a women's "subconscious" attracting them to homely guys. It doesn't happen. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder, and women pick the best looking men to mate with.

You put George Clooney and George Costanza in the same room. Do you think any girl will pick Constanza?

This question is directed towards you and Fruitbat. Have you guys never experienced going up to a girl and she totally rejecting you then you pursue another girl just a hot or hotter and she be all over you? Its the same you. Same looks and same personality. Some girls like what they like and its not as objective as you think. Now this applies within reason.

George Costanza and Clooney are extreme examples. But if you are an average looking guy then its really just a numbers game until you find a girl that likes your look. But you guys are also correct my very very attractive male friends do consistently get women attracted to them but even then there are some chicks that for whatever reason dont like their looks and pick me ( an average looking guy). They say they look "too pretty" or " they dont like blonde guys" or some other ridiculous thing. Please correct me if my observations are wrong though. Im open to other viewpoints.

 

[Roober]

Wide variety of thoughts in here. I like the description of interest level instead of attraction. An unattractive man may initially have a level 5 interest of a woman. If he is witty, funny, dresses nicely, and has the rest of the package going for him, that could elevate that interest to a 7 or 8.

The difference in attraction is basically the amount of work it takes to get her on a date. A very attractive male likely won't have to do much to get a number and get the girl out, regardless of her looks. The average guy has to rely on getting in shape, projecting masculine energies to get her interest level up to the same level. Fortunately though, many attractive women have been those very attractive men and realize they do not have much else to offer, thereby the choose to go for the more average looking guy with high SMV.

Being a Don Juan is about being a guy with high SMV naturally through his actions and the way he carries himself, not applying principles to pickup women... As weird as it may sound, a Don Juan also tends to be a guy that other men look up to as well. Subconsciously, they want to hang around this guy because he makes them feel good about themselves.

I believe I can build attraction with almost any woman. My biggest problem is that I need to learn to do it faster for cold approaches.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

How does she make this assessment? You bet your bottom dollar it's looks.

Little bit looks, but not as much as guys think. It's how he carries himself. OP put out a vibe she didn't dig, that didn't come across on texts.

As others have mentioned, the "vibe" she finds attractive is comprised of a fvckton of variables based on biology, upbringing, background, etc. Too many to talk about. She either digs you or doesn't. If she doesn't move on.

Not really that complicated.

Also, many guys think they are confident, but women see that they clearly aren't. The wonders of self deception and cognitive dissonance.

Very hard to measure yourself in that regard.

 

[Reyaj]

I wouldn't give it a second thought. Trying to read into what makes a woman think the way she does and why is a total waste of time. If you didn't make the cut then, you won't later.
Just go fishing somewhere else. She may even come up to you later and use you as a social tool to elevate herself with someone else. This has happened to me. Just leave her be. Who knows what the hell she's thinking, and who cares, she may have done you a favor.

I agree, trust me I haven't tried to get this girl since after that meeting. I'm just trying to remember all the experiences I can with women and write them down in order to obtain theories which I will post in a separate thread. I ended up telling her off pretty bad, she wants nothing to do with me, there will be no future using.

Had countless dates like this, not even worth to send a nice to meet you text right after.

You did the right thing to end the date sooner than planned since you noticed it was a bad deal but you gave too much of a fvck about after, you probably are a more civilized person than me, in your place I would have just delete her number and forget about her.

Wheter she turned lukewarm cause you arrived late and she was waiting or any other reason you surely didnt lose anything.

It had nothing to do with being late. Girl just has terrible taste. The last guy she banged was some ex convict.

someone once told me that you do the online thing and draw the texting out for too long before actually meeting someone because you both end up building a fantasy version of the other person in your head and it is a letdown when you meet for real b/c the person doesnt match to the fantasy version you built. I believe it.

do not draw out texting for more than 1-2 days. Ask for the number, make a date then keep interaction to a minimum before you meet. if you need to, just say "really busy will chat more when we meet"

Yes this is often very true and something I learned almost word for word as you described it. However I've had about as many equal experiences where the girl did like me and we ended up hooking up after long phone conversations. So I think it might just boil down to whether a girl finds you attractive or not... If she does then all the pre work makes it even better... if she doesn't well all the pre work was a waste of time. But I do agree it's best to try and get a quick meet after a few texts and maybe one phone call. But sometimes they girl doesn't feel enough rapport to come out yet so I have to put in more phone calls to get her comfortable. Sometimes a catch 22 I suppose.

This is what i have been saying for a long time now. Attraction is truly mysterious. Our urges are built from our subconscious thoughts. What you are attracted to is based on what your subconscious is attracted to. Based on a woman's early experiences is what she will be attracted to. For example if she had a strong father she will like strong guys, if she grew up idolizing white celebrities she might like white guys, if she grew up around black dudes she might like black dudes, etc etc. There are millions of variations to this. The point is that women truly feel a certain chemistry. Now this is not saying that they cant override not feeling the tingles. They do that all the time. They do it when they marry a beta provider. They do it when they fu** their boss for a promotion. One girl i know fu*** her friendzone guy to try to figure out why she didnt feel tingles. But even after the sex ( which was good by her accounts) she still didnt feel that visceral attraction for him. WTF!

Thats part of the reason you sometimes see hot women with ugly dudes. Somewhere in their brain they get actually turned on by it. People have fetishes. Attraction is really a personal fetish. Fetishes rarely make sense on the surface. So believe women when they say they can tell right away if they like you. Its true. Its not based so much on looks but more on their subconscious reacting to something. This is why most hook ups happen when the girl is showing consistent high interest. If you have to resort to serious "game" then the sex is largely negotiated. This means she is using her reason to fu*k you and not her subconscious tingles. Basically she might have sex with you but she is not viscerally attracted to you. You want a girl to tell her gfs " i dont know why i like him, i just do and i hate it". Most of the time its not your behavior. Most of the work had already been done for you by the girls subconscious.

This doesnt mean that a girl cant screw it up. These days many women override their subconscious attraction for you because of insecurities and other feminist nonsense. This is why you can sex with a girl quickly and every time she sees you she is all over you, but once you leave she is playing texts games etc etc. But the true test of this magical chemistry is if when you are around her does she cant help but to get physical with you.

You clearly have experience and know what you're talking about. Out of everything I've read on here, what you say above seems to be the most accurate analysis that I can corroborate with my own experience. But this of course begs the bigger theoretical question of whether or not we can game a woman to fall for us or it's really this ambiguous unexplainable subconscious attraction they either have for us or they don't...

If attraction is subjective, then why do we have an issue with people finding partners?

Attraction is primarily biologically driven. If you are short, have bad hair/eyes/teeth you are going to have a hard time. Also, personality wise, if you naturally don't lead or lack confidence, gonna have a bad time.

Confidence I believe is again very much biology driven. The boys who were stronger faster and more attractive develop self esteem, the others don't, or do it more difficulty.

Biology hand you your role, you fill it. That's why I believe sexual liberation hurts many people. Women will hang around alpha sperm, the old model of sexual fidelity protected society somewhat from this and allowed all men the chance to breed easy. As a woman has no support, she chose on factors other than jock sperm. The whole deal now is going back to cavemen.

Women may have quirks between the types of men they like, but a bank ballance, social respect, money (whether earned or not - it's resources, end of) will automatically make you attractive. What will trump all of that again are good genetics and the others often follow that. I've lost count of the number of thick "professionals" I meet who know nothing but look the part - tall, dark and handsome. These guys get picked de facto for the best roles and the arrogance and self worth develop from that, not the other way around.

That's why this confidence bull**** is touted around. Having good genetics builds confidence based on society and women automatically favouring you, confidence is the code word for this. Telling average men to act like top 10% men doesn't help. You can only act like that if you have the genetic capital in the bank.

It's like when fat women think if they dress and act sexy and have sexual confidence, it makes them nubile and hot. That's only doable if you ARE hot. Advice should always be to work at the gym or build your income to display a better picture of ones genetics, not to worry about how attraction works, it's really very simple.

I agree that there's some "basics" we all must do to be seen as a viable mate for women such as grooming and having some money etc... But because so many people follow these basics, women now are just very picky and will wait for a guy that pushes those attraction buttons they have inside. The debate is whether we can push those buttons or the subconscious science occurs which pushes them that we have no control over.

You should have got up from the table and left her sitting there if she was that rude.

Not texted her afterwards not attempted any conversation with her. Just walked away.

Psychology says a women knows with in the first 30 seconds of meeting a man whether she will date him again or have sex with him.

How does she make this assessment? You bet your bottom dollar it's looks.

Sorry to say she took one look at you and since you weren't her type she was rude and made you waste your time and money for th night only to tell you " i have enough friends."

Well now you know women have no problem telling men they have enough friends, you shouldn't either next time some girl takes a look at you and wants to friend zone you.

One of the hardest things for me to accept in this game is that I can seem to build up a lot of interest through phone conversation but if she doesn't feel something when she looks at you, none of that matters. I actually met a girl for coffee yesterday and I can tell she is into me. I think they do know right away when they see you. But is it about looks or some other sub conscious molecule bs like that female doctor said?

 

[Reyaj]

This question is directed towards you and Fruitbat. Have you guys never experienced going up to a girl and she totally rejecting you then you pursue another girl just a hot or hotter and she be all over you? Its the same you. Same looks and same personality. Some girls like what they like and its not as objective as you think. Now this applies within reason.

George Costanza and Clooney are extreme examples. But if you are an average looking guy then its really just a numbers game until you find a girl that likes your look. But you guys are also correct my very very attractive male friends do consistently get women attracted to them but even then there are some chicks that for whatever reason dont like their looks and pick me ( an average looking guy). They say they look "too pretty" or " they dont like blonde guys" or some other ridiculous thing. Please correct me if my observations are wrong though. Im open to other viewpoints.

This is so true too. I've had all sorts of girls in the looks department either like me or not like me.... ranging from hot to just average, fat to thin, blondes to brunnetes etc... This is a great thing for us as men since we don't have to put much value into the caliber of girl that may not be interested in us.

Regarding the average or dare I even say ugly guys with hot girls... I once asked a female friend of mine why I see this so often. She told me that a girl feels more secure with a guy who isn't that great looking. I guess they feel they have the power in that relationship... She was an attractive girl and ended up getting knocked up and marrying some 300lb dude. Maybe it has merit...

Little bit looks, but not as much as guys think. It's how he carries himself. OP put out a vibe she didn't dig, that didn't come across on texts.

As others have mentioned, the "vibe" she finds attractive is comprised of a fvckton of variables based on biology, upbringing, background, etc. Too many to talk about. She either digs you or doesn't. If she doesn't move on.

Not really that complicated.

Also, many guys think they are confident, but women see that they clearly aren't. The wonders of self deception and cognitive dissonance.

Very hard to measure yourself in that regard.

I can definitely say I smiled and went in confident the same way I have with many other girls in the past where I have been successful. Hence the reason for posting my thread.

 

[dude99]

Little bit looks, but not as much as guys think. It's how he carries himself. OP put out a vibe she didn't dig, that didn't come across on texts.

As others have mentioned, the "vibe" she finds attractive is comprised of a fvckton of variables based on biology, upbringing, background, etc. Too many to talk about. She either digs you or doesn't. If she doesn't move on.

Not really that complicated.

Also, many guys think they are confident, but women see that they clearly aren't. The wonders of self deception and cognitive dissonance.

Very hard to measure yourself in that regard.

Of course guys can and do stuff that can drive their interest down to the point of where they won't want to see you again but my point being the first 30 seconds, if nothing like that happens, from your physical appearance their mind is made up already.

 

[Pandora]

Regarding the average or dare I even say ugly guys with hot girls... I once asked a female friend of mine why I see this so often. She told me that a girl feels more secure with a guy who isn't that great looking. I guess they feel they have the power in that relationship... She was an attractive girl and ended up getting knocked up and marrying some 300lb dude. Maybe it has merit...

I made a post on this before. Tenacity also supported this view and it got some backlash. We have to understand that some women are terribly insecure even if they are hot. Some women just dont like alpha, self actualized men. Instead of attracting them it intimidates them. So they date down for more control. Some women are motivated more by the avoidance of rejection than they are by attraction. This is why self improvement is counterproductive for attracting lame women. Just like some women want to be the better looking one in the relationship some women like the be the better quality one. Its insane and sad. Women are really an odd creature.

 

[MatureDJ]

I remember going to a clinic associated with a university and seeing, for my prostate issues, a female physician on her rotation. I distinctly remember her trying to peer down the urethra by twisting the glans out, like she had not seen someone with a prostate condition and taking the opportunity to see if she could find something.. And of course, she was damn hot. And yes, after that I was hard as a rock.