HB 7 Uncertain About Me

[aznxboi]

Fellas,

It's been a long time since I posted and needed advice. I just got out an LTR 4 months ago, and recently met a HB 7 at a local bar in New York City -- she's 24, and I'm 29. While I'm still spinning plates, but this one definitely caught my attention.

I see a lot of potential in this girl, and hung out close to 10 times in a 2 months time spawn. We have a lot in common, and get along perfectly! She's willing to take turn and pay, and goes out of her way to come see me. In terms of intimacy, all we did was kiss and cuddle, that's it. She wants to take it slow, because of her previous relationships she jumped into it too quickly (that's what she kept telling me).

Here's the catch! One of my buddy, actually know one of her close girl friend; which he's currently dating. Let's call the HB7 Jen, and the girl friend Wendy. Jen have no idea Wendy is dating one my buddies. Jen will always update Wendy on our dates, and my buddy would tell me all the juicy details. Long story short, he told me she's uncertain about me because she's not attracted to me but she really likes my personality and there's a lot of traits she likes. Although she believe physical attraction is one of the important key factor to make a relationship work.

Am I out of luck and wasting my time here? I never been in this situation before, and definitely would love to hear anyone input in this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Juanto]

I would say, you should have escalated WAY earlier in terms of sex to really find out if she´s into you or not. You can still try it, but by now chances are slimmer compared to the beginning. 10 dates and no sex does not bode well at all, mate.

 

[sazc]

I would say, you should have escalated WAY earlier in terms of sex to really find out if she´s into you or not. You can still try it, but by now chances are slimmer compared to the beginning. 10 dates and no sex does not bode well at all, mate.

oh shiz! Take control, escalate! Hopefully someone will be along soon to give you specifics but you need to escalate. You are at a fork in the road. Escalate to figure out which way to turn. If she declines you then you need to move on. If she doesnt decline you then you will know exactly where you are headed (the bedroom)

 

[Jetleg]

She is uncertain because you don't pursue her sexually, kiss and cuddle?! after 10 dates, in NYC? Come on lets get serious here.

Women who say they wanna take it slow:
- are not that into
- are sh!t testing you, to see if you are man enough not to give a f*ck that they want to take it slow
- are already getting f*cked by someone else

Get to work.

 

[oOh Nasty]

She wants to take it slow, because of her previous relationships she jumped into it too quickly (that's what she kept telling me).

This right here would annoy me. So she gave it up to some Alpha bad boy within days but she won't give it up to you after 2 months and 10 dates? Escalate like mad and go for the sex. If she rejects you one more time, just drop the b*tch.

Also, about her "telling you" things, it's not good frame on your part to be negotiating or accepting anything she says that you don't agree with. If she says she "wants to take it slow," just escalate anyways. Let her know through your actions that whatever she tells you or the warning signs she gives you are irrelevant. You will continue to do what you want to do and what you were going to do regardless. Trying to be "respectful" of her opinions is stupid because...well, way too many reasons. One of them being that even she doesn't know what she wants, and that even her own "boundaries" she sets for herself can easily be penetrated by an Alpha or someone who understands women in an extremely short amount of time.

 

[aznxboi]

Jen will always update Wendy on our dates, and my buddy would tell me all the juicy details. Long story short, he told me she's uncertain about me because she's not attracted to me but she really likes my personality and there's a lot of traits she likes. Although she believe physical attraction is one of the important key factor to make a relationship work.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I think my main concern is that she's not that attractive to me, but likes everything else about me. Has anyone been in this situation before? This is the type of girl, I would like to be in a relationship with. That's why I'm playing it safe.

 

[Konada]

Long story short, he told me she's uncertain about me because she's not attracted to me but she really likes my personality and there's a lot of traits she likes. Although she believe physical attraction is one of the important key factor to make a relationship work.

I'd consider this a big slap to your face and am wondering why you are not dropping this b!tch after hearing this.

What she's saying is the male equivalent of - "She has a great personality and all but she is too disgusting for me to fvck."

If that doesn't put things in perspective for you, just be reminded that once a guy who embodies your personality traits and is hot enough to give her the gina tingles, you're done.

She feels she is settling, sport fvck this b!tch and treat her like one if you're still keen, nothing else.

Drop her, if she comes back, pump and dump. This girl is not worth LTR material to you because you will always be a plan B to her.

 

[sazc]

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I think my main concern is that she's not that attractive to me, but likes everything else about me. Has anyone been in this situation before? This is the type of girl, I would like to be in a relationship with. That's why I'm playing it safe.

WHY are you playing it safe? so you can 'hang out' with her while she takes her time deciding if she is going to give it up to you - meanwhile your attention and time is focused on a maybe situation when it should be focused on a potential situation. you've got to stop playing it safe.

Why is this chick the type of girl you want to be in a relationship with? So she can call all the shots and you follow her lead?

In my opinion, this is ridiculous. You are giving her ALL the power. You're giving her more power than you realize b/c you're not pursuing other women, why?

I'm no expert don juan but I strongly urge you to go NC. You've got to pull back and see if she will chase you. Pull back in order to figure out what her IL is. If she pursues a bit then set up another DATE with her and escalate physical contact. If she rebuffs you need to move on.

Guys, correct me here if I am wrong.....?

 

[Jetleg]

I think he is in Love!

 

[sazc]

I think he is in Love!

With what? It's not even a 'partnership' at this point. She's in charge....

 

[dude99]

Fellas,

It's been a long time since I posted and needed advice. I just got out an LTR 4 months ago, and recently met a HB 7 at a local bar in New York City -- she's 24, and I'm 29. While I'm still spinning plates, but this one definitely caught my attention.

I see a lot of potential in this girl, and hung out close to 10 times in a 2 months time spawn. We have a lot in common, and get along perfectly! She's willing to take turn and pay, and goes out of her way to come see me. In terms of intimacy, all we did was kiss and cuddle, that's it. She wants to take it slow, because of her previous relationships she jumped into it too quickly (that's what she kept telling me).

Here's the catch! One of my buddy, actually know one of her close girl friend; which he's currently dating. Let's call the HB7 Jen, and the girl friend Wendy. Jen have no idea Wendy is dating one my buddies. Jen will always update Wendy on our dates, and my buddy would tell me all the juicy details. Long story short, he told me she's uncertain about me because she's not attracted to me but she really likes my personality and there's a lot of traits she likes. Although she believe physical attraction is one of the important key factor to make a relationship work.

Am I out of luck and wasting my time here? I never been in this situation before, and definitely would love to hear anyone input in this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I would say yes. You are out of luck. She is hesitant because of your looks. Not because of her previous relationship.

As soon as she finds a better looking guy you are out.