Epiphany

[Fruitbat]

I have had a road to Damascus experience in the last few days.

As you may have seen on occasion I have been on my arse somewhat for a while following divorce and a few failed relationships. Think I have been depressed.

I have spent most of my life worrying about what people think about me. So much that it affects how I behave and I have ended up living a life to impress others of gain some kind of one-upmanship.

I heard the DJ advice of "living for you" etc but I never understood it. Not until now. It's recently hit me of the irrelevance of others, and the limitations of finding validation through others. I tagged along to everything for years, every party I didn't really want to attend, pretended to like people I dislike....it's like, after a long time of being beaten up by life I have finally realised that it's all about me. Other people will not fulfil you.

Now, it feels like a massive weight off my mind. It's like I am now on a quest on my own and there is no need to constantly care about how I am seen. I just am starting to give less ****s in general.

I seem to have realised that I am on my own somewhat, I only work for me now and I'd rather be alone than try to get on or be somebody I am not.

This isn't to say I won't have friends or socialise, it's just I don't care anymore whether I do or don't. My career, fitness and wellbeing trumps all. It's like disconnecting from the matrix, all there is is me and my life, all else is transient bull****.

Is this growing up and becoming a man? feels like it, and it feels liberating. I feel like I am the captain of my ship for the first time.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Congratulations. You've attained a milestone that will open up a whole new world to you.

 

[Fruitbat]

Thanks guys. It's a very odd feeling and without being too sentimental, I actually felt optimism and happiness for the first time in years.

It's a different type to the rush you get from little wins. It's like realising there was only ever you in the room and all the mindless worry and chatter is an illusion which has been smashed.

The world is a place I seek fulfilment now, not a place where I do x y z and hope that some good stuff returns.

It's best described as actually listening to what I want instead of what I should be, what others want or what a woman would want.

 

[Mike32ct]

It's not really fair or appropriate for others to judge us anyway. They don't know us THAT well or know our entire story. So we really can't go by what other people think anyway.

Finally, only YOU can know what you like, don't like, and what makes you happy.

 

[Desdinova]

I have spent most of my life worrying about what people think about me.

There was a point in high school where I reached this point. Why should I care what people think of me? How does it affect my life personally? The answer is: it doesn't. The only time you need to make an impression is when it directly affects your personal life. Job interviews are a good example. Bytches you wanna fvck are another. Other than money or sex, everybody else's opinion of who you are and what you do is worthless.

Do the things you find pleasurable regardless of what they are. Fvck the women you enjoy regardless of their appearance. You don't need a hot GF because you want to impress other guys. Get yourself a GF that YOU find attractive. If you like having her serve you breakfast in her lingerie regardless of her looking plain, then that's what's important to YOU. Keep it, cherish it, and enjoy it. Your opinion about yourself is number one. Everyone else's opinion about you is garbage.