5chm1dd1
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2016
- Messages
- 71
- Reaction score
- 45
- Age
- 30
Hey guys,
So my gf of 9 months broke up with me 11 weeks ago.
To make the long story short: I'm 22, she's 17. From January to July, we had an Ldr due to the fact that I'm a soldier. We saw each other every weekend and during the holidays, she lives near my hometown.
From the end of July to the end of August, I was at home for the holidays, and we spent a week in Turkey together, and almost saw each other every day in the following 3 weeks.
Then she went for a one week party trip with her female friends.
When she came back, she told me that she is unsure about her feelings for me, it's not like at the beginning of the relationship. Plus the relationship doesn't mean as much to her as it did in the beginning, she realized during her trip how much she misses being "free" with her friends.
Also, she said she felt cramped in the last weeks, and can't handle my jealousy (I was jealous a.f., due to things in my past and low self-esteem, plus being a real beta pvssy) anymore. So we "agreed" to break up, for that is the best chance to "reconcile at some point later." (her words)
Plus she said that she wanted to stay in contact and meet some times, due to the fact that she still has feelings for me, not much, but maybe it'll work out some time.
When I came home, she asked me via messenger if I still have our picture as background, to which I responded no, there's no need to. She said, she still has it at her phone.
The next day, I blocked her everywhere (I realized what really had happened at that point), and received the following texts:
Her: "Hey, it's a shame that you blocked me, I was hoping to stay in contact because I still have feelings for you, not much, but maybe it'll work out"
Me: "no, I need to focus on myself right now, maybe some point later we can reestablish contact, but not now."
Her: "I don't understand your change of mind, you agreed to that when we broke up."
Me: "i thought about it, and decided that I don't want and can't stay in contact, because I can't rely on that maybe."
Her: something about but what if it works out in the end, bla bla
Me: "if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I accept your wish to break up, so please accept mine to not stay in contact anymore. Tell me when you know what you want, but please leave me alone until then."
2 weeks later, I sent her a text for her birthday(mistake, I know), and received a friendly answer. Since then no communication at all (wasn't familiar with the NC at that point)
Breakup was 11 weeks ago, her birthday 9 weeks ago. Since then, NC.
What I've been doing since the Breakup:
- Sports, sports, sports
- Building my self-esteem and confidence
- Finding out the reasons for my jealousy (various, working on them since then)
- Analysing my mistakes in the relationship, and trying to figure out the reasons and how to avoid that in the future (I was a typical blue pill, it was my first "real" relationship)
In general, I'm happy with my life, and I've been doing cool stuff since the Breakup (parachute, concerts, partying,...)
Problem is: I still miss her, and still want her back.
Plus I can't help myself but believe her words and texts, even though I know that it's bullsh1t to keep me in her orbit.
So guys, what am I to do now? I've been reading here for the last weeks, and been busy to implement the ideas and rules into my life, to in the end become a DJ(hopefully)
P.s.: sorry for any mistakes, if there are. German dude here.
So my gf of 9 months broke up with me 11 weeks ago.
To make the long story short: I'm 22, she's 17. From January to July, we had an Ldr due to the fact that I'm a soldier. We saw each other every weekend and during the holidays, she lives near my hometown.
From the end of July to the end of August, I was at home for the holidays, and we spent a week in Turkey together, and almost saw each other every day in the following 3 weeks.
Then she went for a one week party trip with her female friends.
When she came back, she told me that she is unsure about her feelings for me, it's not like at the beginning of the relationship. Plus the relationship doesn't mean as much to her as it did in the beginning, she realized during her trip how much she misses being "free" with her friends.
Also, she said she felt cramped in the last weeks, and can't handle my jealousy (I was jealous a.f., due to things in my past and low self-esteem, plus being a real beta pvssy) anymore. So we "agreed" to break up, for that is the best chance to "reconcile at some point later." (her words)
Plus she said that she wanted to stay in contact and meet some times, due to the fact that she still has feelings for me, not much, but maybe it'll work out some time.
When I came home, she asked me via messenger if I still have our picture as background, to which I responded no, there's no need to. She said, she still has it at her phone.
The next day, I blocked her everywhere (I realized what really had happened at that point), and received the following texts:
Her: "Hey, it's a shame that you blocked me, I was hoping to stay in contact because I still have feelings for you, not much, but maybe it'll work out"
Me: "no, I need to focus on myself right now, maybe some point later we can reestablish contact, but not now."
Her: "I don't understand your change of mind, you agreed to that when we broke up."
Me: "i thought about it, and decided that I don't want and can't stay in contact, because I can't rely on that maybe."
Her: something about but what if it works out in the end, bla bla
Me: "if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I accept your wish to break up, so please accept mine to not stay in contact anymore. Tell me when you know what you want, but please leave me alone until then."
2 weeks later, I sent her a text for her birthday(mistake, I know), and received a friendly answer. Since then no communication at all (wasn't familiar with the NC at that point)
Breakup was 11 weeks ago, her birthday 9 weeks ago. Since then, NC.
What I've been doing since the Breakup:
- Sports, sports, sports
- Building my self-esteem and confidence
- Finding out the reasons for my jealousy (various, working on them since then)
- Analysing my mistakes in the relationship, and trying to figure out the reasons and how to avoid that in the future (I was a typical blue pill, it was my first "real" relationship)
In general, I'm happy with my life, and I've been doing cool stuff since the Breakup (parachute, concerts, partying,...)
Problem is: I still miss her, and still want her back.
Plus I can't help myself but believe her words and texts, even though I know that it's bullsh1t to keep me in her orbit.
So guys, what am I to do now? I've been reading here for the last weeks, and been busy to implement the ideas and rules into my life, to in the end become a DJ(hopefully)
P.s.: sorry for any mistakes, if there are. German dude here.