Does making your intentions with a girl you have been in communication with "needy" behavior

[ArmyStrong90]

I have been in an off and on communication with a girl I met at school since the beginning of the semester we started to see each other more around mid-October and my interest in her started to increase and I would convey it in my ACTIONS (she knew and complied) the hardest thing was to get a make out because those "signs" weren't there. Mind you, I later find out that it takes a long time to get sexual in anyway with her because she wants to root out the guys that just want her for sex than one that genuinely wants to get to know her. In a way I respect that about her because it does show what she prioritizes more when it comes to relationships/dating (she's also been hurt multiple times and hasn't dated much so she has a guard up) With our busy schedule we have went out several times in the past but at the same time I had no knowledge of a man she had in her life that she had feelings for at the time. She started to grow cold and needless to say she ended up hurt and they both broke contact I know she is feeling crappy and will take time to recover. Fast forward several weeks later (today) we met up after a bit of time apart and I communicated to her at one point in our conversation that I was into her and would like to be a little exclusive however I also am aware of the fact that she was still recovering because she did say that although she did like me she cannot "jump" into something new and risk getting hurt again and that she wouldn't want me to "fall" for her too much too soon (when I think about this it seems like a very light rejection but given the situation she is in it may or may NOT be) She still wants to get to know me so should I be a bit more distant and contact her every now and then? Here is why I don't want to leave the game to quick with her and its because I was in something similar with a girl a year ago except I misinterpreted her messages of "taking time" to her being a tease and I left her. She is now dating a new man who I THOUGHT she was messing with while she was flirting with me however she wasn't and when I asked her how long she was in the talking phase with her new boyfriend it was 7months however when her and I met it was WAYY before she even knew of her current boyfriend.

This is a tough one for me because I can only "wait" for so long. I like this girl and it really does seem like she has been hurt in her past (she is a little older too, 24 like me) I can give her the space she needs to recover but at the same time I can only give her soo much time--and if she doesn't like me I don't know why the girls I want are don't want me when I don't show signs of needy vibes and have a chill attitude

 

[Alvafe]

she want to play hard to get, because she knows you won't go stray and find another woman, you wanna a tip? fine, as long she don't ask for be exclusive you date around go after other girls and do your thing, if she really wanted you she would already be having sex with you, thing I see is she don't want to date you, but want to you play the BF without the sex, so unless you make a move and make things for her really hard to keep this up or you date around so she knows you won't wait for her to decide.

 

[MrWood]

you already have 0neitis, did you even fvck her yet?

 

[dude99]

"Just got out of a relationship,"
"Can't start something new,"
"Don't want you to develop feelings,"
"Wouldn't want you to get hurt,"
"Don't want a relationship right now."

Etc etc

Dude, this is all woman speak for " i am not interested in dating you. Not now not ever. 99% of women will never never never be honest with you because she will still want you to be her orbiter and she will want to know that if bored she can call you and you will drop everything and buy her a free meal, give you false hope to keep you on a string then remind you " hey we are only friends remember."

Next her. Date women who are interested. Don't waste your time and money on this one.

 

[Konada]

If there is one bitter truth to the redpill that is pretty fcking hard to swallow, its this:

Anytime a girl starts playing bullsh!t games, it simply means you have insufficient value.

As a general rule, you can only pull women consistently with no effort -2 from your SMV. Chug it up to a loss, I don't think you did anything wrong per se.

She just wasn't sexually attracted to you. You can bet your a$$ all this BS of "I'm not ready" is unheard of when Chad Thunderc0ck walks on by.

 

[Roober]

My relationship that just ended was with a girl who said she had a 3-month deadline between dating and sex. On our third date, after 1 month, we were just messing around, getting hot and heavy, and she said "I want you inside me"... she literally ripped off my boxers

What's my point? If she wants you, it is going to happen. Dude99 is pretty much spot on...

Go read some DJ bible stuff...
-Men never ask to be exclusive
-We don't compromise what we want, especially early in dating

I am not sure how to deal with the "men just want me for sex..." talk to be honest, especially if you feel this girl has potential for an LTR...? Maybe just spin other plates until the exclusive talk comes or she puts out? Sounds like a pig, but if she is not giving you sex, doesn't seem like much of a reason to spend significant time with her...

 

[AttackFormation]

I am not sure how to deal with the "men just want me for sex..." talk to be honest, especially if you feel this girl has potential for an LTR...? Maybe just spin other plates until the exclusive talk comes or she puts out? Sounds like a pig, but if she is not giving you sex, doesn't seem like much of a reason to spend significant time with her...

Agree, amplify, humorize. "Oh my god! I never thought I'd meet a girl who feels the same way. Women just want me to keep fvcking them for their own pleasure, they use me as a sex toy. I feel so used."

 

[SgtSplacker]

Dude you told a girl your not even banging that you wanted exclusivity? Do you know how bad that is for seduction?

You blew this one bud, move on.

And please don't orbit this girl.

Read the dj bible please

 

[ArmyStrong90]

Dude you told a girl your not even banging that you wanted exclusivity? Do you know how bad that is for seduction?

You blew this one bud, move on.

And please don't orbit this girl.

Read the dj bible please

lol I never told her that I wanted that and exclusivity to me it means having sex with no one other than her. Honestly what kills me the most is how I knew I ****ed up because that little meeting of ours was something that I wouldn't do its just that I tend to get caught up in the moment with a girl that I lose my train of thought and tact.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

My relationship that just ended was with a girl who said she had a 3-month deadline between dating and sex. On our third date, after 1 month, we were just messing around, getting hot and heavy, and she said "I want you inside me"... she literally ripped off my boxers

What's my point? If she wants you, it is going to happen. Dude99 is pretty much spot on...

Go read some DJ bible stuff...
-Men never ask to be exclusive
-We don't compromise what we want, especially early in dating

I am not sure how to deal with the "men just want me for sex..." talk to be honest, especially if you feel this girl has potential for an LTR...? Maybe just spin other plates until the exclusive talk comes or she puts out? Sounds like a pig, but if she is not giving you sex, doesn't seem like much of a reason to spend significant time with her...

Should I ditch this girl PERMANENTLY or wait like 2 weeks to a month before contacting her again?

 

[dude99]

Should I ditch this girl PERMANENTLY or wait like 2 weeks to a month before contacting her again?

Go spin plates. If she is interested at all SHE will reach out to you. If not you won't care because you will be spining plates.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

Go spin plates. If she is interested at all SHE will reach out to you. If not you won't care because you will be spining plates.

What if she tells you that she is a "traditionalist" when it comes to the dating scene ( I see this as she would rather have the man ask her out on the date, make the first move, initiate the text message etc)

 

[dude99]

What if she tells you that she is a "traditionalist" when it comes to the dating scene ( I see this as she would rather have the man ask her out on the date, make the first move, initiate the text message etc)

Lesson number one

Pay attention to her actions. Not what she says. all i repeat all girls chase what they are interested in. All girls pretend to be good girls and traditional in the sense of you asking her out. You paying. You carrying the baggage so to speak. Uninterested chicks will tellyou anything to keep you as an orbiter, so tehy get their egos fed.

If she is interested her ACTIONS will show it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Lesson number one

Pay attention to her actions. Not what she says. all i repeat all girls chase what they are interested in. All girls pretend to be good girls and traditional in the sense of you asking her out. You paying. You carrying the baggage so to speak. Uninterested chicks will tellyou anything to keep you as an orbiter, so tehy get their egos fed.

If she is interested her ACTIONS will show it.

I'm finding being a little less than direct is better with females.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

Lesson number one

Pay attention to her actions. Not what she says. all i repeat all girls chase what they are interested in. All girls pretend to be good girls and traditional in the sense of you asking her out. You paying. You carrying the baggage so to speak. Uninterested chicks will tellyou anything to keep you as an orbiter, so tehy get their egos fed.

If she is interested her ACTIONS will show it.

I got a newsletter from SoSuave and it talks about Confident Persistence. I am meeting new girls here and there (so I am not focusing on this one) yet I also want this one to reach out to me sometime soon without me doing anything--and I worry she might get another guy. What makes things pretty damn interesting about this situation is that we met before she joined a sorority (at that time I was already affiliated with a fraternity on my campus) and now the organization that she is in works very close with mine therefore I have a higher chance of seeing her whenever we do joint events--we are asking her sorority to homecoming. Thus, I naturally know who she knows because I am pretty close with those girls, only thing is since she is significantly older than the girls (24) she isn't really involved with her organization since she gets pretty busy with school, work and family (I don't know if this bit of information helps but the more information the better in my opinion) she also seems a bit depressed when the talk of relationships come about because she tells me that "she isn't very lucky with guys in her past" she has been either played or cheated on this makes me feel like she is an emotional wreck and needs time to heal (hence why I sent you an article about Confident Persistence and why I worry that she won't hit me up FIRST because she simply fears that I might be like those other dudes)

Here is the article on Confident Persistence
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm

 

[Igetit!]

I 100% agree with EVERYTHING Dude99 said. I'd read his posts over again and follow everything he said right down the letter.

That being said,dude.....you fudged up. And the irony is,it was you doing the OPPOSITE of dude99's suggestions that got you here.

Your problem was,you LISTENED to her. You let her comment affect your game. For example.....

She said something to you about wanting to "weed out" guys who just want sex.....so you,you held off being sexual cause you didn't want her to think you that's all you were after. A legit concern...but the problem was,by you not getting sexual,but continuing to talk and hang out,you came off as wanting something "more" than sex,i:e:...a relationship. You'd been better off as coming off as only wanting sex. When a chick thinks you want too much too soon,it sends her scrambling off in the other direction.

And the crazy part is,she'll get involved with a guy only wanting sex FASTER than she will a guy who she feels wants a relationship too soon.

You got too emotional too soon. You said she's been hurt over and over again,and has her guard up. You talk about her and some other guy,how she got hurt with him,and how she's gonna need a little time to "recover". And the tell-tell sign/comment of hers...."I wouldn't want you to fall for me too much too soon". And like someone mentioned early,you asked to be exclusive....with a chick who's not even your girlfriend? Kid...you SCREWED UP.


This is gonna sound crazy....I feel kinda odd for even saying it,but it's the truth.......

You would have been better off....being one of the many guys who HURT HER.....than being in the position you are now. At least they got sex. All you get is to listen to her whine and complain about them all.


You know what you should have done? You should have flirted and asked her out. You should have acted,behaved and treated her like all her past hurts and problems with guys NEVER EXISTED. You should have shown your sexual interest instead of holding it back because of all the issues with past guys she's had.


And for pete's sake....STOP TALKING TO HER ABOUT HER AND OTHER GUYS.

Your focus should be on YOU and HER.

YOU should be flirting with her
YOU should be showing interest
YOU should be telling her how good she looks in an outfit

QUESTION: Have you EVER shown any sexual interest in her? I said SEXUAL.....said nothing about relationships,commitment,or exclusivity. Do you turn her on? Does she get dreamy or bedroom eyes when she looks at you at times?

Or are you too busy talking about and discussing all her past romantic relationships with OTHER men?


Chances are,it's over with......you've already screwed up beyond repair. You allowed her "woe is me" complaining about past hurts to emasculate you. This is gonna sound completely foreign to anything you might had heard,but.......

WHEN A WOMAN STARTS COMPLAINING TO YOU ABOUT PAST HURTS WITH OTHER GUYS,YOUR BEST CHANCE AT GETTING HER IS TO ACT,BEHAVE,AND TREAT HER........LIKE THOSE OTHER GUYS.


I know that sounds crazy,but it's true.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

I 100% agree with EVERYTHING Dude99 said. I'd read his posts over again and follow everything he said right down the letter.

That being said,dude.....you fudged up. And the irony is,it was you doing the OPPOSITE of dude99's suggestions that got you here.

Your problem was,you LISTENED to her. You let her comment affect your game. For example.....

She said something to you about wanting to "weed out" guys who just want sex.....so you,you held off being sexual cause you didn't want her to think you that's all you were after. A legit concern...but the problem was,by you not getting sexual,but continuing to talk and hang out,you came off as wanting something "more" than sex,i:e:...a relationship. You'd been better off as coming off as only wanting sex. When a chick thinks you want too much too soon,it sends her scrambling off in the other direction.

And the crazy part is,she'll get involved with a guy only wanting sex FASTER than she will a guy who she feels wants a relationship too soon.

You got too emotional too soon. You said she's been hurt over and over again,and has her guard up. You talk about her and some other guy,how she got hurt with him,and how she's gonna need a little time to "recover". And the tell-tell sign/comment of hers...."I wouldn't want you to fall for me too much too soon". And like someone mentioned early,you asked to be exclusive....with a chick who's not even your girlfriend? Kid...you SCREWED UP.


This is gonna sound crazy....I feel kinda odd for even saying it,but it's the truth.......

You would have been better off....being one of the many guys who HURT HER.....than being in the position you are now. At least they got sex. All you get is to listen to her whine and complain about them all.


You know what you should have done? You should have flirted and asked her out. You should have acted,behaved and treated her like all her past hurts and problems with guys NEVER EXISTED. You should have shown your sexual interest instead of holding it back because of all the issues with past guys she's had.


And for pete's sake....STOP TALKING TO HER ABOUT HER AND OTHER GUYS.

Your focus should be on YOU and HER.

YOU should be flirting with her
YOU should be showing interest
YOU should be telling her how good she looks in an outfit

QUESTION: Have you EVER shown any sexual interest in her? I said SEXUAL.....said nothing about relationships,commitment,or exclusivity. Do you turn her on? Does she get dreamy or bedroom eyes when she looks at you at times?

Or are you too busy talking about and discussing all her past romantic relationships with OTHER men?


Chances are,it's over with......you've already screwed up beyond repair. You allowed her "woe is me" complaining about past hurts to emasculate you. This is gonna sound completely foreign to anything you might had heard,but.......

WHEN A WOMAN STARTS COMPLAINING TO YOU ABOUT PAST HURTS WITH OTHER GUYS,YOUR BEST CHANCE AT GETTING HER IS TO ACT,BEHAVE,AND TREAT HER........LIKE THOSE OTHER GUYS.


I know that sounds crazy,but it's true.

"YOU should be flirting with her
YOU should be showing interest
YOU should be telling her how good she looks in an outfit

QUESTION: Have you EVER shown any sexual interest in her? I said SEXUAL.....said nothing about relationships,commitment,or exclusivity. Do you turn her on? Does she get dreamy or bedroom eyes when she looks at you at times?"



I did all of that though, I have complimented her on **** other than looks (personality etc) we have gone out only thing is I HAVE NEVER GOT ANY SEXUAL SIGNS FROM HER (at one point after I haven't seen her in awhile, I contact her mid October and she was very receptive via text message and body language but at that time there was another man in the picture I did not know about) I occasionally see her now only because I don't want to constantly hit her up because she is going to see me as desperate. Also, I NEVER bring up past relationships with her she does and continues to go on a rant. What kills me about this whole predicament is how I was WAYYY to caught up in the moment with her that I was not being "tactful" I have hooked up with girls and dated a few and what sucks even more is how I KNEW that what I was doing at the moment with her was wrong and I STILL DID IT. This is why I am trying to correct my wrong and find any means to re-ignite that attraction I know it will be hard but at the same time I don't want to put my OWN dignity on the line for her.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

"YOU should be flirting with her
YOU should be showing interest
YOU should be telling her how good she looks in an outfit

QUESTION: Have you EVER shown any sexual interest in her? I said SEXUAL.....said nothing about relationships,commitment,or exclusivity. Do you turn her on? Does she get dreamy or bedroom eyes when she looks at you at times?"



I did all of that though, I have complimented her on **** other than looks (personality etc) we have gone out and we still flirt only thing is I HAVE NEVER GOT ANY SEXUAL SIGNS FROM HER (at one point after I haven't seen her in awhile, I contact her mid October and she was very receptive via text message and body language but at that time there was another man in the picture I did not know about) I occasionally see her now only because I don't want to constantly hit her up because she is going to see me as desperate. Also, I NEVER bring up past relationships with her she does and continues to go on a rant. What kills me about this whole predicament is how I was WAYYY to caught up in the moment with her that I was not being "tactful" I have hooked up with girls and dated a few and what sucks even more is how I KNEW that what I was doing at the moment with her was wrong and I STILL DID IT. This is why I am trying to correct my wrongs and find any means to re-ignite that attraction I know it will be hard but at the same time I don't want to put my OWN dignity on the line for her. What Dude99 is saying is totally right but its hard for me to accept the fact that I ****ED up because from the age 19 up until now (24) I have only been IMPROVING with girls not making these rookie ass mistakes that you pointed out to me

 

[stevo]

I did all of that though, I have complimented her on **** other than looks (personality etc) we have gone out only thing is I HAVE NEVER GOT ANY SEXUAL SIGNS FROM HER (at one point after I haven't seen her in awhile, I contact her mid October and she was very receptive via text message and body language but at that time there was another man in the picture I did not know about) I occasionally see her now only because I don't want to constantly hit her up because she is going to see me as desperate. Also, I NEVER bring up past relationships with her she does and continues to go on a rant. What kills me about this whole predicament is how I was WAYYY to caught up in the moment with her that I was not being "tactful" I have hooked up with girls and dated a few and what sucks even more is how I KNEW that what I was doing at the moment with her was wrong and I STILL DID IT. This is why I am trying to correct my wrong and find any means to re-ignite that attraction I know it will be hard but at the same time I don't want to put my OWN dignity on the line for her.

Oh Lawd, oneitis is a beech!

You have a long way to go but there's still hope -- for you, (not for your relationship w the girl)

Have you at any time, fcuked, kissed or grabbed the titties of this girl?

Why are you complimenting her? You're not her Father nor her husband.

Your best bet is to forget about this girl, learn about seduction.

Whatever message she sends to you, post it on here and we'd guide you on how to mine gold from dirt.

Do not initiate contact with the beech. You've done enough damage as it is.

This is your wake up call. Wake up!

Live and learn.

 

[dude99]

I'm finding being a little less than direct is better with females.

It is. You can be less direct. You can be aloof. You can be criptic. You can be confusing to her. Why? Because you are creating challenge and chicks eat that up.