Can't tell if Im being blown off (quote provided)

[Sdives]

Hi Guys

Long-time lurker First Time Poster.

I asked the girl out for coffee ( lame I know ). I was sure she was interested but now I'm not so sure. She said yes in person. I messaged her the next day and her reply was " It will be in a week or so, I'm crammed and the moment for a little bit, but I wil know when Im free".

There was no maybe or anything, the first part she gives a counter and says " It will be in a week" so she did give a time frame but her saying she will "let me know" isn't great. If it was totally negative would she say something else? it's confusing to me

once again I was near certain she was down. She didn't hesitate at all when I asked in person.

going to lay low for a bit,
is it hard to get? is it not interested? now what?

I can't tell for sure, but if it was rejection why would she say It will be in a week or so? That's a time frame it sounds definitive,

I swear I thought she was 90% interested. I felt very good about it

Exact quote is Below :

"It'll have to be some time in the next week or so, I'm super crammed with lots going on in the next little bit so I'll let ya kno when I'm free!"

 

[narcissist]

Re-engage in a week. Dont get your panties in a twist before you even go on 1 date with her. Dont over think it.. Ask again in a week (actually it would be better if you told her) say something like "Cute coffee date this week. No exceptions. When are you free miss (insert name)?" and if she flakes or puts it off to another time, then next her.

But seriously, don't start over thinking sh1t. Especially before you even take her on one date. Just enjoy the chase. And do not forget to play a little hard to get.

 

[narcissist]

Also coffee dates aren't lame for a first date. That is my go-to. Dont be taking girls on a crazy first date. Its too try-hard and too much pressure for them to like you.

And a coffee date is pretty uneventful, so it forces you to be a boss. It forces YOU to be the date.

 

[Sdives]

Also coffee dates aren't lame for a first date. That is my go-to. Dont be taking girls on a crazy first date. Its too try-hard and too much pressure for them to like you.

And a coffee date is pretty uneventful, so it forces you to be a boss. It forces YOU to be the date.

Thanks for the reply. My impression was the coffee date was the best option. I don't know her well and vice versa so alcohol wouldn't work. My gut said coffee is innocent and easy and she seems to steer the conversation into coffee as well and confirmed coffee.

Coffee dates are screening and a prequel.

I understand what you are saying, but how does she sound? I mean she suggests an alternate and soon in "a week". She Sounds friendly but still....? .....you get what I am saying. I know you do. Could it be hard to get, I mean she said yes with no hesitation and confirmed I was talking coffee as in something safe.

 

[Sdives]

I may wait two weeks I see her in the gym and I talk to her

 

[narcissist]

Thanks for the reply. My impression was the coffee date was the best option. I don't know her well and vice versa so alcohol wouldn't work. My gut said coffee is innocent and easy and she seems to steer the conversation into coffee as well and confirmed coffee.

Coffee dates are screening and a prequel.

I understand what you are saying, but how does she sound? I mean she suggests an alternate and soon in "a week". She Sounds friendly but still....? .....you get what I am saying. I know you do. Could it be hard to get, I mean she said yes with no hesitation and confirmed I was talking coffee as in something safe.

You are over thinking it. She sounds fine to me, but i don't over think it, I base interest on actions not words. So, if she doesn't go on the date next week you will know her interest level. Texts like that are too ambiguous to screen for interest. So just assume interest.
But it also really all depends on what you said to her.

What was the exact text you sent her before her text and after her text?

 

[narcissist]

I may wait two weeks I see her in the gym and I talk to her

Too long. Just ask her out next week.

 

[Sdives]

You are over thinking it. She sounds fine to me, but i don't over think it, I base interest on actions not words. So, if she doesn't go on the date next week you will know her interest level. Texts like that are too ambiguous to screen for interest. So just assume interest.
But it also really all depends on what you said to her.

What was the exact text you sent her before her text and after her text?

I asked in person first said with no hesitation and wanted to make sure I said coffee, like if I said something like clubbing, I thought would be DOA.

She said just Facebook her as we are FB friends Once in a blue moon I comment on her wall. Innocent stuff.

I said this" my message was continuing our in person talk that we just had. BTW at work our internet is crashing so my message is short, not great and I had limited time. If Internet was working normally I would have said something better. But it was cutting out and I needed to get back to my desk.

"Saturday's are generally good for me.I can meet you somewhere in ( our city). I'm at work so internet access is limited. Later

"

After I said " alright no problem drop me a line when you can

Ok I may wait two weeks( not sure) and make casual chat in the gym. I intend to be lighthearted. I'll give her space , maybe it was too soon. Maybe she needs more comfort.

I felt totally sure she was into me on some level all signs were there.

The inclusion of information about the end of the busy period sounds to me like she was inviting me to try again then.Possibly?

 

[Sdives]

You are over thinking it. She sounds fine to me, but i don't over think it, I base interest on actions not words. So, if she doesn't go on the date next week you will know her interest level. Texts like that are too ambiguous to screen for interest. So just assume interest.
But it also really all depends on what you said to her.

What was the exact text you sent her before her text and after her text?

Too long. Just ask her out next week.

Why too long? I may first be friendly in person and see how she responds now the cat is out of the bag. Before I attempt again

 

[narcissist]

because if you wait two weeks you are being a pvssy. You have already made it clear that youw ant to go on a date with her. To backpedal and go from date prospect to friendly, you risk getting friendzoned. Just ask her out again. and get her number, facebook is sh1t (and no more posting innocent sh1t on her wall. Thats friendzone sh1t. once you are sleeping with her you can post sh1t on her wall. if you are so inclined.)

 

[Sdives]

You are over thinking it. She sounds fine to me, but i don't over think it, I base interest on actions not words. So, if she doesn't go on the date next week you will know her interest level. Texts like that are too ambiguous to screen for interest. So just assume interest.
But it also really all depends on what you said to her.

What was the exact text you sent her before her text and after her text?

Too long. Just ask her out next week.

Why too long? I mat first be friendly in person and see how she responds now the cat is out of the bag

because if you wait two weeks you are being a pvssy. You have already made it clear that youw ant to go on a date with her. To backpedal and go from date prospect to friendly, you risk getting friendzoned. Just ask her out again. and get her number, facebook is sh1t (and no more posting innocent sh1t on her wall. Thats friendzone sh1t. once you are sleeping with her you can post sh1t on her wall. if you are so inclined.)

This is all true. But I meant FB emails. I would post on things shared. Not the wall, thats what I meant.

Still not totally sure what my plan is. You said she sounds fine? why? It didn't sound like a total blow out to me. She did sort of counter offer me.

If I was flat out rejected, would she likely state it differently?

 

[narcissist]

Why too long? I mat first be friendly in person and see how she responds now the cat is out of the bag



This is all true. But I meant FB emails. I would post on things shared. Not the wall, thats what I meant.

Still not totally sure what my plan is. You said she sounds fine? why? It didn't sound like a total blow out to me. She did sort of counter offer me.

If I was flat out rejected, would she likely state it differently?

okay I'm not giving you any more advice. Ask her out in a week and stop being a pvssy.

 

[devilkingx2]

Hi Guys

Long-time lurker First Time Poster.

I asked the girl out for coffee ( lame I know ). I was sure she was interested but now I'm not so sure. She said yes in person. I messaged her the next day and her reply was " It will be in a week or so, I'm crammed and the moment for a little bit, but I wil know when Im free".

There was no maybe or anything, the first part she gives a counter and says " It will be in a week" so she did give a time frame but her saying she will "let me know" isn't great. If it was totally negative would she say something else? it's confusing to me

once again I was near certain she was down. She didn't hesitate at all when I asked in person.

going to lay low for a bit,
is it hard to get? is it not interested? now what?

I can't tell for sure, but if it was rejection why would she say It will be in a week or so? That's a time frame it sounds definitive,

I swear I thought she was 90% interested. I felt very good about it

Exact quote is Below :

"It'll have to be some time in the next week or so, I'm super crammed with lots going on in the next little bit so I'll let ya kno when I'm free!"

lets go point by point:

1. coffee isn't lame, lame is taking a woman out on an expensive date entirely on out of your own pocket

2. women love to lie, nothing she says should be taken as confirmation of anything. i've almost never seen a woman willing to just say "nah, i don't want to date you"

3. based off that quote you need to think

does she have a legitimate cause for being busy that you know of(for example, it's finals week, her grandma died, family vacation, etc.)? then wait a week then see what she says (more excuses of any kind = no interest)

do you not know enough about her to be able to determine if she's truly busy? then go with your gut, no wrong answer

do you know that she's almost certainly not busy(for example, she has no job and doesn't go to school)? never speak to her again, fvck her.

 

[El Payaso]

Anything other than a solid date and time counter is a NO.

There is no maybe with women. Maybe = backup plan or if I'm so bored I'm about to die, I will CONSIDER going out with you.

Do you really want to be a backup plan?

No.

What do you do?

You tell her "Alright".

Delete her number and move on with your life.

 

[Igetit!]

Anything other than a solid date and time counter is a NO.

There is no maybe with women. Maybe = backup plan or if I'm so bored I'm about to die, I will CONSIDER going out with you.

Do you really want to be a backup plan?

No.

What do you do?

You tell her "Alright".

Delete her number and move on with your life.

I 100% agree. Personally,I think she's full of horsesh!t. For one.......

Who doesn't have time for coffee??? Coffee? How long does that take,what...30..maybe 45 minutes? She's not THAT busy.


It'd be helpful to know what sort of history you two have...like how do you know her,how long you've known her,how you two met in the first place. Cause this doesn't sound like a woman you just saw out somewhere and decided to approach and strike up a conversation with....it sounds like there was some sort of communication or slight history between you two before you asked her out.

In any case,I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for her to "let you know" when she's free.

 

[Floydispink01]

Personally, I would follow what Narcissist said and wait a week to re-engage. Go out and do other stuff and meet chicks in the meantime. If she blows you out after your second date request then you have gained a little bit of wisdom of how women act. Then delete her from your life.

 

[dude99]

Hi Guys

Long-time lurker First Time Poster.

I asked the girl out for coffee ( lame I know ). I was sure she was interested but now I'm not so sure. She said yes in person. I messaged her the next day and her reply was " It will be in a week or so, I'm crammed and the moment for a little bit, but I wil know when Im free".

There was no maybe or anything, the first part she gives a counter and says " It will be in a week" so she did give a time frame but her saying she will "let me know" isn't great. If it was totally negative would she say something else? it's confusing to me

once again I was near certain she was down. She didn't hesitate at all when I asked in person.

going to lay low for a bit,
is it hard to get? is it not interested? now what?

I can't tell for sure, but if it was rejection why would she say It will be in a week or so? That's a time frame it sounds definitive,

I swear I thought she was 90% interested. I felt very good about it

Exact quote is Below :

"It'll have to be some time in the next week or so, I'm super crammed with lots going on in the next little bit so I'll let ya kno when I'm free!"

You probably are being blown off. But waiting one week and asking again won't hurt anything. If she is still busy in a week then yiu have your answer. Then next and delete her number.

 

[Sdives]

You probably are being blown off. But waiting one week and asking again won't hurt anything. If she is still busy in a week then yiu have your answer. Then next and delete her number.

I could be yes. we'll see. Im going to hold back for a bit

 

[Sdives]

Anything other than a solid date and time counter is a NO.

There is no maybe with women. Maybe = backup plan or if I'm so bored I'm about to die, I will CONSIDER going out with you.

Do you really want to be a backup plan?

No.

What do you do?

You tell her "Alright".

Delete her number and move on with your life.

She didnt say "maybe". She did provide an alternate but a range not a specific day. She might not know what day, if in fact it might happen even at all . I don't know what day in advance

 

[Sdives]

lets go point by point:

1. coffee isn't lame, lame is taking a woman out on an expensive date entirely on out of your own pocket

2. women love to lie, nothing she says should be taken as confirmation of anything. i've almost never seen a woman willing to just say "nah, i don't want to date you"

3. based off that quote you need to think

does she have a legitimate cause for being busy that you know of(for example, it's finals week, her grandma died, family vacation, etc.)? then wait a week then see what she says (more excuses of any kind = no interest)

do you not know enough about her to be able to determine if she's truly busy? then go with your gut, no wrong answer

do you know that she's almost certainly not busy(for example, she has no job and doesn't go to school)? never speak to her again, fvck her.

I don't know her well enough to know what she does with her time. It might be true sometimes, she's not working at the gym for days. I worked 342 days of 365 last year. I don't watch TV I don't go to the movies. I rarely have time to go out , I want to change that fact. I know she works fulltime or close too. She may have school I don't know .

If she was rejecting me why would she say "It will be sometime in the next week". That implies it will happen ( we'll see). She didn't say " maybe". The quote above is exactly what she said. She could have said she busy and end it there. I've heard that before. She has somewhat of a counter, she might not know what day, I wouldn't know what day.

What do you think about me talking to her in person as she works in the gym and then see how she responds? if I feel its ok then ask again. If she's cold in person, then I will abort mission and not ask again. maybe she's not comfortable yet? as in I am too much of a stranger still. Like I need to be more familiar first.