High Score Theory/Alpha Widowed?

[btownbuck2012]

Have been intrigued lately with the idea behind Desdinova's HS Theory as well as the Alpha Widow concept.

Take a look at this article below:
http://totalsororitymove.com/an-extremely-honest-open-letter-to-my-abusive-ex-boyfriend/

From a red pill lens, this chick is still pining for this dude, am I right? Could be wrong but just wanted to get the opinions from other guys on this forum.

Where would this guy she is writing to rank on her high score list?

 

[The Duke]

Heres my interpretation:
This girl finally took some accountability for her own flaws. But she also blames him for most of it. (lol, imagine that). And even tho this guy was pretty insecure he did make a dent in her. Theres a connection he made that she will never forget.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Heres my interpretation:
This girl finally took some accountability for her own flaws. But she also blames him for most of it. (lol, imagine that). And even tho this guy was pretty insecure he did make a dent in her. Theres a connection he made that she will never forget.

Her last paragraph is very telling:

"I hope you get the help you need. Because no matter how very, very much I despise you, no one deserves to feel that much pain inside of them. No one should be miserable enough that their goal in a partnership is making the other person feel bad about themselves. But that was what you wanted, wasn’t it? That was your goal. So thank you. Thank you for making me a stronger person. For making me realize what should be valued in a life and a relationship. And thank you for no longer being a part of my life. As you lose relationship after relationship, I hope you decide to change. As for me? I’d be with people who love me. Not because of who they think I am or who I turn into, when I accept the role of emotional punching bag. But because of my flaws, because of my bitchiness, and because of exactly, exactly who I am.

Kindly go **** yourself."

To me that screams a bitter woman who is dealing with pushover men these days who misses the way this abusive ex used to dominate her. Why else would she have all the hatred and anger even years later?

 

[resilient]

I always think it's fascinating that they'll ride the carousel after leaving or getting dumped, yet still pine over an ex while with someone or multiple guys under the sheets. You're correct btownbuck in thinking that the ex left an impression and hit major points on her HST.

He was abusive and gave her the drama she craved.

Now she's broadcasting her anger to the web to feel socially validated for putting up with his emotional abuse and jealous behavior.

As much as a d'bag as she claims he was, she did have low self-esteem and let him go through all her belongings, call her names, and kept an open line for him to drunk text and apologize. If all of his behavior bothered her, she would dumped earlier and go ghost. She thanks him for making her stronger, yet it's obvious that he still gets to her.

She's not "stronger", she's bitter.

 

[btownbuck2012]

@ everyone who's commented so far

So can a woman actually leave or dump a guy who hits a high score on her high score list?

 

[The Duke]

Y

@ everyone who's commented so far

So can a woman actually leave or dump a guy who hits a high score on her high score list?

Yes, my exwife did it to me. Women often ignore/can't decipher the big picture and fail to realize at the time, that the grass isn't any greener on the other side. Once they get to the other side, they eventually realize they made a mistake, but not until they feel some pain. She still talks to me and often mentions that she will always care a lot for me. To this day I still am at the top of her high score list and she would do about anything for me. Sometimes I feel bad for her new husband. I have no doubt I'm higher than him.

I also had a 5yr LTR that ended because I wouldn't commit to marriage. She left me because of it and it took a long time for her to get the courage to do so. When she left, she thanked me for teaching her so much about life that her parents never did, and helping her get past her issues. She said she will forever be thankful for what I did to help her become a better person. She cared very much for our relationship, definitely more than I did. It was no where close to being 50/50. All I worried about was me getting what I wanted and she was along for the ride. She held me in high regard and will for a long time. One simply doesn't forget those that make the biggest impacts on their lives. Someday she will make some guy a great wife, but that would not have been the case before me. I just helped her develop to her full potential.

 

[JohnChops]

Wow, what a massive rant about a guy she clearly wants to **** but he doesn't not want to **** her.

 

[Desdinova]

This is why I say that you don't have to be alpha to climb up her high score list. That guy was very obviously insecure with the way he behaved. But he gave her one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. That is why she's still thinking of him even though he's long gone. He left a very deep emotional imprint on her.

High score theory isn't always about being the best guy she ever had. It's about how hard you rock her emotions. All the guys after her won't even scratch the surface when it comes to making an emotional imprint. Her ex is at the top. The negative experiences were just as powerful as the positive ones, and he's still racking up the points because she obviously still thinks about him a LOT.

 

[nismo-4]

@ everyone who's commented so far

So can a woman actually leave or dump a guy who hits a high score on her high score list?

Better to have a woman hate you than be indifferent to you.

 

[sazc]

it's sad that no one in her life taught her better boundaries

 

[Desdinova]

it's sad that no one in her life taught her better boundaries

Ummm.. WTF does that mean? Care to elaborate?

 

[sazc]

Ummm.. WTF does that mean? Care to elaborate?

so this ex she speaks about apparently pulled a jekyl and hyde on her depending on if he was drinking or not. When he was drinking he was a class A ******* and would emotionally abuse her. If she had better boundaries she would have walked the second time this sh1t happened. Better boundaries means she knows going into the relationship that he is valuable and that no one has the right to treat her like garbage. Better boundaries means she could have exited as soon as she realized he was an ass, that she would have already known that you cant change anyone and there's no reason to try to save anyone from themselves b/c THEY have to figure it out. She wouldnt be writing that article b/c she would be patting herself on the back for being smart enough to leave asap

 

[Desdinova]

If she had better boundaries she would have walked the second time this sh1t happened.

That really isn't the point here...

She wouldnt be writing that article b/c she would be patting herself on the back for being smart enough to leave asap

She IS patting herself on the back because she left. Read this part:

One strong day, however, I stopped forgiving. I stopped giving in. And I stopped letting you run, and ruin, my life. Of all the things I’ve done in my time on Earth, that’s one that I’m most proud of. That I got out. That I got away. That the clouds parted, even for a second, so I could see clearly. Clearly enough to leave, and never, ever come back.

The fact that she put up with his 5hit isn't what we're focusing on here. The fact that she's even bothering to remember this so vividly and write about it means that this guy made a huge impact on her life, on her feelings, and on her memories. The key to how he made himself prominently stand out is in this "article". Let's see what was going on, not only in the relationship, but what was going on when she wrote this:


I was in love with you.
I was madly, helplessly, totally in love with you.
I loved the idea of you.
I ignored the panic in my heart.
All of the beautiful gifts you bought me.
you would embarrass me
I would be scared to come home with you.
How you brought up my past, and made me feel bad about it.
How you went through my personal belongings, went through my stuff to criticize, shame, and devalue me.
The way you would say unimaginably horrible things to me, and mock me as I cried.
I was happy
How could I have been so weak?
So easily manipulated?
I was monster you told me I was.
I despise you
go **** yourself


That's a LOT of emotional fluctuation. All of this was going on in the relationship, and it was going on while she was writing that "article". This is not only what made him memorable, but it's also what made her stay. She was bouncing all over the place emotionally.

When a woman stays with a man who's "abusive", it has nothing to do with her boundaries. It has to do with how much she subconsciously enjoys the emotional rush she gets from being with him. She might tell you that she was living through hell, but she was unknowingly addicted to the situation she was in due to the emotional fluctuation she experienced.

Is it her fault for staying with him? Not at all. She's pre-wired to enjoy emotional fluctuation and so are you. Is it her fault that she has the desire to recall her experience with this man instead of replacing him with a better one? Not at all. How do I know that she's still single? Just look at her other articles:

The 16 Most Common Boyfriend Offenses And Their Fair Punishments
Millennials’ Biggest Fear Is Never Finding Love
7 Fall Sex Tips To Totally Up Your Game
I’ve Decided To Become A Hot Girl
37 Totally Not Crazy Ways To Tell Him You Want To Be Exclusive

Women who have happily moved on to better men don't continue to write this kind of stuff. She's still searching for that one guy to replace Mr. Abusive who caused her all that emotional fluctuation and make a deeper emotional imprint. SHE WON'T FIND HIM. Men don't become memorable because they keep her happy and treat her well. They also have to piss her off, make her cry, make her worry, and get her feeling all kinds of things.

There are ways to artificially create emotional fluctuation too. Show her a movie that makes her cry, and then take her into the bedroom and give her fantastic sex. Text her and tell her you've been in an accident and are in the hospital before you knock on her door. Tell her she's a bad girl and then kiss her neck. All that stuff creates emotional fluctuation.

 

[sazc]

That really isn't the point here...



She IS patting herself on the back because she left. Read this part:

One strong day, however, I stopped forgiving. I stopped giving in. And I stopped letting you run, and ruin, my life. Of all the things I’ve done in my time on Earth, that’s one that I’m most proud of. That I got out. That I got away. That the clouds parted, even for a second, so I could see clearly. Clearly enough to leave, and never, ever come back.

The fact that she put up with his 5hit isn't what we're focusing on here. The fact that she's even bothering to remember this so vividly and write about it means that this guy made a huge impact on her life, on her feelings, and on her memories. The key to how he made himself prominently stand out is in this "article". Let's see what was going on, not only in the relationship, but what was going on when she wrote this:


I was in love with you.
I was madly, helplessly, totally in love with you.
I loved the idea of you.
I ignored the panic in my heart.
All of the beautiful gifts you bought me.
you would embarrass me
I would be scared to come home with you.
How you brought up my past, and made me feel bad about it.
How you went through my personal belongings, went through my stuff to criticize, shame, and devalue me.
The way you would say unimaginably horrible things to me, and mock me as I cried.
I was happy
How could I have been so weak?
So easily manipulated?
I was monster you told me I was.
I despise you
go **** yourself


That's a LOT of emotional fluctuation. All of this was going on in the relationship, and it was going on while she was writing that "article". This is not only what made him memorable, but it's also what made her stay. She was bouncing all over the place emotionally.

When a woman stays with a man who's "abusive", it has nothing to do with her boundaries. It has to do with how much she subconsciously enjoys the emotional rush she gets from being with him. She might tell you that she was living through hell, but she was unknowingly addicted to the situation she was in due to the emotional fluctuation she experienced.

Is it her fault for staying with him? Not at all. She's pre-wired to enjoy emotional fluctuation and so are you. Is it her fault that she has the desire to recall her experience with this man instead of replacing him with a better one? Not at all. How do I know that she's still single? Just look at her other articles:

The 16 Most Common Boyfriend Offenses And Their Fair Punishments
Millennials’ Biggest Fear Is Never Finding Love
7 Fall Sex Tips To Totally Up Your Game
I’ve Decided To Become A Hot Girl
37 Totally Not Crazy Ways To Tell Him You Want To Be Exclusive

Women who have happily moved on to better men don't continue to write this kind of stuff. She's still searching for that one guy to replace Mr. Abusive who caused her all that emotional fluctuation and make a deeper emotional imprint. SHE WON'T FIND HIM. Men don't become memorable because they keep her happy and treat her well. They also have to piss her off, make her cry, make her worry, and get her feeling all kinds of things.

There are ways to artificially create emotional fluctuation too. Show her a movie that makes her cry, and then take her into the bedroom and give her fantastic sex. Text her and tell her you've been in an accident and are in the hospital before you knock on her door. Tell her she's a bad girl and then kiss her neck. All that stuff creates emotional fluctuation.

(that's long so I just skimmed it but....)

oh, okay, so your point here is that emotional fluctuation is a good thing to play out with a chick (?) If that is what you are saying,I dont disagree.
my point was, if she had better boundaries, she wouldn't have put it with it. We're just viewing the article thru 2 different sets of glasses.

 

[Desdinova]

if she had better boundaries

I have yet to meet a woman with "better boundaries". From what I've seen, they don't exist.

 

[hithard]

I have yet to meet a woman with "better boundaries". From what I've seen, they don't exist.

I agree

Emotional manipulation is like crack to women. They have an overriding need to "fix" men they perceive as damaged. When they invest so much on an emotional level its hard for them to walk. Time just magnifies the experience and emotions. Yes.... They know you were bad for them, but the emotional hooks are still there. Using emotional hooks and anchors puts you high up in their thoughts.

Boundaries are hard, as women tend to get caught up emotionally when they try to help you. Its a surreptitious process. They don't realize how deep they are in till its too late.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

She's not better, she's bitter. I think that spell-check failed her. I know a million women just like her. They are like a boxer who didn't hear the bell to end the round and is still out there punching at the air. They are broken beyond repair and woe to the next man who crosses her love path.