2nd Date no kiss close, physical intimacy issues

[Konada]

Just had 2nd date with this girl, she's more comfortable with my kino but still when I went for the kiss she rejected it.

During our time together she brought up that she has a hard time getting physically intimate with someone she doesn't know well. Couple that with a fatherly figure where she didn't experience much physical intimacy (basically most of the time her dad grabbed her by her neck) and he was cold and aloof. No surprise that she mentioned I was cold and aloof and still went out with me on a second date.

The good thing this girl seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and seems like LTR material (except the dad part), one LTR. We're both 23.

Key question: Should I cut my losses and move on?

 

[dude99]

Just had 2nd date with this girl, she's more comfortable with my kino but still when I went for the kiss she rejected it.

During our time together she brought up that she has a hard time getting physically intimate with someone she doesn't know well. Couple that with a fatherly figure where she didn't experience much physical intimacy (basically most of the time her dad grabbed her by her neck) and he was cold and aloof. No surprise that she mentioned I was cold and aloof and still went out with me on a second date.

The good thing this girl seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and seems like LTR material (except the dad part), one LTR. We're both 23.

Key question: Should I cut my losses and move on?

Dude.... daddy issues and intimacy issues.........

Run Forest......run.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Remember she has issues and needs and that's ok, but so do you. Here you are spending your time and money to get to know someone who is being cold with you and basically said she is not ready to date. Why is she going out on dates if she has issues with men?

Don't put your interests aside for any woman.

Sounds to me like you are the only one acting the right way in this situation and she is not representing herself positively.

Don't tolerate this nonsense, is she so shy with everyone?

Women like to make their own rules. Don't let them, dates go hand in hand with intimacy. Don't go on a fuuvking date with a guy that you don't want touching you. This girls decision making skills are impaired. She is coming across like an idiot to me.

I would stop spending money on her, next date is Netflix and chill until she comes to terms with what she is trying to do with herself. Going out with you is a privilege.

Sorry if I'm coming across a little aggressive it just pisses me off when women do things like this and waste the time of those closest to them.

 

[Konada]

Remember she has issues and needs and that's ok, but so do you. Here you are spending your time and money to get to know someone who is being cold with you and basically said she is not ready to date. Why is she going out on dates if she has issues with men?

Don't put your interests aside for any woman.

Sounds to me like you are the only one acting the right way in this situation and she is not representing herself positively.

Don't tolerate this nonsense, is she so shy with everyone?

Women like to make their own rules. Don't let them, dates go hand in hand with intimacy. Don't go on a fuuvking date with a guy that you don't want touching you. This girls decision making skills are impaired. She is coming across like an idiot to me.

I would stop spending money on her, next date is Netflix and chill until she comes to terms with what she is trying to do with herself. Going out with you is a privilege.

Sorry if I'm coming across a little aggressive it just pisses me off when women do things like this and waste the time of those closest to them.

Well to be honest I didn't exactly give the full story here. Date was set at 8pm, she told me she will be late around 8.30pm which quite rightly pissed me off a little but then I figured doing my own thing would be better. Had a coffee, 8.44pm, no news from her, I left thinking she stood me up. 8.45pm she messages that she is here. Okay, she apologizes profusely for being late and offers to pick up the tab for the evening, I just let her do so. All in all, I spent $4 on darts while she covered drinks and ice-cream (totals $40).

Key points to let me believe that she seriously has intimacy issues:
1. IOIs but seems uncomfortable with kino on 1st date, no kiss close.
2. More comfortable with kino, occasional bumping on 2nd date, could get away with rubbing her neck, holding her hand but still she pulled away abit.
3. Whatever I shared above, and she only had 1 LTR with a dude who was her childhood friend and I highly doubt this guy was an alpha at all from the way she mentioned him.

I wouldn't make excuses for her behavior but I'm seeing a major red flag here. Another issue is I don't know whether such a fail is because of my own game, she is not interested or she has legitimate issues.

 

[Juanto]

Well to be honest I didn't exactly give the full story here. Date was set at 8pm, she told me she will be late around 8.30pm which quite rightly pissed me off a little but then I figured doing my own thing would be better. Had a coffee, 8.44pm, no news from her, I left thinking she stood me up. 8.45pm she messages that she is here. Okay, she apologizes profusely for being late and offers to pick up the tab for the evening, I just let her do so. All in all, I spent $4 on darts while she covered drinks and ice-cream (totals $40).

Key points to let me believe that she seriously has intimacy issues:
1. IOIs but seems uncomfortable with kino on 1st date, no kiss close.
2. More comfortable with kino, occasional bumping on 2nd date, could get away with rubbing her neck, holding her hand but still she pulled away abit.
3. Whatever I shared above, and she only had 1 LTR with a dude who was her childhood friend and I highly doubt this guy was an alpha at all from the way she mentioned him.

I wouldn't make excuses for her behavior but I'm seeing a major red flag here. Another issue is I don't know whether such a fail is because of my own game, she is not interested or she has legitimate issues.

Had a very similar situation recently, also no kissing on first 2 dates although she was open to some kino. After she suggested a 3rd date, I just told her directly i wasnt interested in that bullsh*t of just acting as "friends" and that we shouldnt see each other again, unless she changed her mind. Deleted her number and moved on, but couple of days after she texted me saying she wanted to mee up that night. Went for drinks and after to my place where we finally made out

 

[CMNILS87]

Had a very similar situation recently, also no kissing on first 2 dates although she was open to some kino. After she suggested a 3rd date, I just told her directly i wasnt interested in that bullsh*t of just acting as "friends" and that we shouldnt see each other again, unless she changed her mind. Deleted her number and moved on, but couple of days after she texted me saying she wanted to mee up that night. Went for drinks and after to my place where we finally made out

nice call. Sometimes i go for a kiss on the first date and sometimes i wait till the 2nd date. If you're not getting a kiss its either because you haven't kino'd to comfort or she just wants free **** and to test you.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Try to plan some different type

Had a very similar situation recently, also no kissing on first 2 dates although she was open to some kino. After she suggested a 3rd date, I just told her directly i wasnt interested in that bullsh*t of just acting as "friends" and that we shouldnt see each other again, unless she changed her mind. Deleted her number and moved on, but couple of days after she texted me saying she wanted to mee up that night. Went for drinks and after to my place where we finally made out

Sometimes you have to take it away for her to realize she wants it.

I believe the most important thing you can do to a girl is to walk away from her. Women have to many options nowadays. It's all yes or no for them, you have to make them pursue so they understand this is something they want.

 

[Igetit!]

Well to be honest I didn't exactly give the full story here. Date was set at 8pm, she told me she will be late around 8.30pm which quite rightly pissed me off a little but then I figured doing my own thing would be better. Had a coffee, 8.44pm, no news from her, I left thinking she stood me up. 8.45pm she messages that she is here. Okay, she apologizes profusely for being late and offers to pick up the tab for the evening, I just let her do so. All in all, I spent $4 on darts while she covered drinks and ice-cream (totals $40).

Key points to let me believe that she seriously has intimacy issues:
1. IOIs but seems uncomfortable with kino on 1st date, no kiss close.
2. More comfortable with kino, occasional bumping on 2nd date, could get away with rubbing her neck, holding her hand but still she pulled away abit.
3. Whatever I shared above, and she only had 1 LTR with a dude who was her childhood friend and I highly doubt this guy was an alpha at all from the way she mentioned him.

I wouldn't make excuses for her behavior but I'm seeing a major red flag here. Another issue is I don't know whether such a fail is because of my own game, she is not interested or she has legitimate issues.

So you know about her past issues with her dad,and you know about the 1 LTR she had with a childhood friend....

Just please....PLEASE say that you two talk about and discuss things other than just her problems,issues,and past relationships.

On a side issue: If I were you,I'd have cut the date short. If the date was supposed to be at 8,but didn't get started until 45 minutes later cause of HER tardiness,I'd either had been gone when she got there,or I'd have ended the thing round 9:15,9:30. That'd show her that although you'll made time to see her,you're not going to re-arrange the rest of you day and priorities to accomodate her lateness. And if she has any interest in you at all (and it seems she does),a short date while things are going well would inspire her to show up on time next time if she wants the date to last longer.


The important thing is,that you at least TRY.. Going for sex may be a bit much,but that's what escalation is for. Holding her had is good,but I'd try to hold her hand WHILE kissing her on her neck,see how she responds. I'd do the same thing with her boobs....one hand on a boob while kissing her neck...see if she tries to move your hand away. I can probably see that for a first date,but if she's still like that on a 2nd,looks like you might be investing a lot of time only to get very little in return.


I'm more curious as to what YOU BRING UP AND TALK ABOUT with her. Do you flirt,compliment,try to have a playful,light atmosphere.....or do you just sit there and let her ramble on about all her emotional problems and issues?

Also,is she a virgin? Cause if not,that means somebody was able to get past all these roadblacks that seem to be holding you up.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Absolutely right. Real attraction is created in the push.

Beta-males are all pull with women, and no push.

My last main plate, I was willing to walk away from in the initial text exchange. I gave her a serious push, and she was pretty well behaved from then until I broke it off.

Push/pull is one of the most basic elements of game. I have no idea why people ignore it so much.

Every single relationship I have been in has totally changed the first time I seriously try to end things. Only after that rejection does she start to play ball and really try to make me happy.

When I take a girl out at first I always try to have the most explosively fun times then I kinda go ghost on them and let them pursue just a bit so she realizes she is not just letting me take her out. This is something she wants for herself.

 

[EyeBRollin]

2nd date no kiss means she's out for good. Move on.

 

[sazc]

imme be homest with you and I want everyone to pay attention..... WHEN A PERSON TELLS YOU WHO THEY ARE, LISTEN!

You will NEVER be able to change anyone. If you are interested in a relationship with someone that has a good chance of being cold with you, then go for it. If you are interested in a relationship where you struggle to get your needs met, then go for it.

This chick practically held up a red flag and waved it in your face. Listen to what she is saying. If you want intimacy issuses on any level, this is the girl for you.

If you want someone who can open up and get physically close to you, move on!

 

[Konada]

Remember she has issues and needs and that's ok, but so do you. Here you are spending your time and money to get to know someone who is being cold with you and basically said she is not ready to date. Why is she going out on dates if she has issues with men?

Don't put your interests aside for any woman.

Sounds to me like you are the only one acting the right way in this situation and she is not representing herself positively.

Don't tolerate this nonsense, is she so shy with everyone?

Women like to make their own rules. Don't let them, dates go hand in hand with intimacy. Don't go on a fuuvking date with a guy that you don't want touching you. This girls decision making skills are impaired. She is coming across like an idiot to me.

I would stop spending money on her, next date is Netflix and chill until she comes to terms with what she is trying to do with herself. Going out with you is a privilege.

Sorry if I'm coming across a little aggressive it just pisses me off when women do things like this and waste the time of those closest to them.

So do I reach out or wait for her to contact me? Even so, I'm inclined to move on because rationally even though she seems like a great girl, there's too many issues I foresee if I manage to bang her.

 

[CMNILS87]

So do I reach out or wait for her to contact me? Even so, I'm inclined to move on because rationally even though she seems like a great girl, there's too many issues I foresee if I manage to bang her.

You do nothing. Go ghost, if she really wants to hop on the @Konada ****, she'll reach out in some form and want to hang out. I just had a plate drop because I didn't give her the feelz anymore. She sent a huge long text, I didn't reply at all. Don't send a text if you feel she's luke warm, it's gives her the power to reject and you're not acting like the prize

 

[devilkingx2]

issues manifest themselves in many ways, some positive, some negative.

unless her issues manifest more positives (slvttiness, submissiveness, kinkiness, etc.) than negatives (instability, insanity, etc.)

 

[SgtSplacker]

So do I reach out or wait for her to contact me? Even so, I'm inclined to move on because rationally even though she seems like a great girl, there's too many issues I foresee if I manage to bang her.

Feel her out... What you don't want to do is become some sexless support group for distraught females.

If she was really excited by you she wouldn't even bring up daddy issues she would know exactly what to do.

The reason she is being this way is because she thinks she can get away with it.

Personally I would keep my interactions with her fast paced and sexual. If she's not feeling it move on.

I knew a girl that would feed me these intimacy issues she had so I kinda lost interest in her and always kinda felt like I was being a diick. I felt guilty for dropping her and not having patience and understanding. But then I heard she was being a little slut with Mr random abs guy at a bar.

Who do you want to be?

Emotional tampon guy?

Or random abs guy with a wet diick?

 

[Konada]

Feel her out... What you don't want to do is become some sexless support group for distraught females.

If she was really excited by you she wouldn't even bring up daddy issues she would know exactly what to do.

The reason she is being this way is because she thinks she can get away with it.

Personally I would keep my interactions with her fast paced and sexual. If she's not feeling it move on.

I knew a girl that would feed me these intimacy issues she had so I kinda lost interest in her and always kinda felt like I was being a diick. I felt guilty for dropping her and not having patience and understanding. But then I heard she was being a little slut with Mr random abs guy at a bar.

Who do you want to be?

Emotional tampon guy?

Or random abs guy with a wet diick?

What do you mean by feel her out?

 

[SgtSplacker]

What do you mean by feel her out?

Let's say this girl is one I really like, something about her really gets me going more than most women I see. I'll let her express herself and talk about her intimacy issues. When I feel she has sufficiently expressed her issues, I will feel it can now be put behind her. There has to be a cut off point where she is finished talking about this part of her life.

So now I'll try extra hard to keep the conversation positive. If she keeps going back into her issues and letting that affect our time together I will have to assume she has depression issues.

Disclaimer: I would only really do this for a girl that really turned me on. Intimacy issues are a huge nono when evaluating a potential mate.

 

[Poon King]

A lot of good comments so far.

Ultimately men need to remember that sob stories are like a*sholes.. EVERYONE has one. Don't change your terms or deal with certain women differently because they come at you with some damsel in distress sh!t. Are you a man who wants to get laid or a charity service? Her past is NOT your problem.

Its also key to remember that many so called "good girls" who come off like victims are actually master manipulators. They use their sob stories and "goodness" as something to hold over her man as a way to elevate herself over him and bring out his inner white knight.

I still continue to be surprised by how easily most men are manipulated by women. These b!tches barely have to try anymore.

 

[Trump]

Just had 2nd date with this girl, she's more comfortable with my kino but still when I went for the kiss she rejected it.

During our time together she brought up that she has a hard time getting physically intimate with someone she doesn't know well. Couple that with a fatherly figure where she didn't experience much physical intimacy (basically most of the time her dad grabbed her by her neck) and he was cold and aloof. No surprise that she mentioned I was cold and aloof and still went out with me on a second date.

I would reply "That's most unfortunate you didn't experience physical intimacy. You don't look like the kind of girl a father could resist."

Key question: Should I cut my losses and move on?

If you offers you some value other than sex (she pays for dinner, she introduces you to a important figure, she offers you a high paying job) no. If she doesn't offer any value other than sex, yes.