Girlfriend Is 18, I'm 28 - Bad Idea?

[wonderer]

Hi, As the tread states, shes 18, I'm 28, some of the reasons I decided to make her my gf include:

- Intelligent / mature for age - knows what she wants in life - to be a laywer and buy and sell paintings
- Good family background - close with parents, parents own a fashion house
- Not a slut - took me until 3rd date to kiss her, would not have sex with me for a long time
- Incredibly attractive

Now this is where I get stuck, I want to get married in my early 30s and also have kids, shes very young, she has a lot to go through, a lot to learn which will change her as a person - maybe we wont be compatible anymore, 20/30 guys will hit on her at uni and her hypergamy will really start, this is a risk for me. Also not knowing if she would want to marry this young.

Do you think I am making a bad decision, or is there anyway I can play this situation?

 

[Von]

Man up and take her for a ride.

 

[dude99]

Hi, As the tread states, shes 18, I'm 28, some of the reasons I decided to make her my gf include:

- Intelligent / mature for age - knows what she wants in life - to be a laywer and buy and sell paintings
- Good family background - close with parents, parents own a fashion house
- Not a slut - took me until 3rd date to kiss her, would not have sex with me for a long time
- Incredibly attractive

Now this is where I get stuck, I want to get married in my early 30s and also have kids, shes very young, she has a lot to go through, a lot to learn which will change her as a person - maybe we wont be compatible anymore, 20/30 guys will hit on her at uni and her hypergamy will really start, this is a risk for me. Also not knowing if she would want to marry this young.

Do you think I am making a bad decision, or is there anyway I can play this situation?

18 is not marriage material. She will change her mind and personality like the direction of the wind for the next 7 years and you won't enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

You marry her at 20. You are 30. You will be divorced ar 32. She will take you for half your assets and she will be f#cking a guy who os 23 or 24 and calling you an old man.

Avoid marriage with one this young dude. Plate her. F-buddy her. Have a good time while it lasts, but marrying her this young would be a huge mistake.....

 

[Who Dares Win]

I've been there and can give your suggestions.

My situation was very similar to yours, I was 29 she was 19.

The most important thing is to settle yourself as the guy who made her feel all possible emotions, you probably remember your first kiss as something great while the following ones not so special, the emotional imprint you give to a woman is what really helps to bond with her.

Now what I suggest you is giving a try and run the risk, you have a good chance of a successful marriage while your risk in case of failure are not that much...what would change between being single now or being single in 3 years?

Your biggest problem right now are her friends, they will tell anything to her to make you split up, they want her to join their trips, they want her to meet the friend of their boyfriends and so on, they want her to be part of their circle.

The problems are not the guys who will hit on her at school but the female friends she will have there, they are the biggest destabilizing factor.

Wait 2-3 yrs at least then if you still want to marry her give it a try (with all the safety procedures).

If you drop her and get a 25yrs old girl is almost sure that she rode the c0ck carousel so much that her bonding ability will be almost none.

Your condition is one of the few for a successful marriage.

 

[wonderer]

Thank you for all responses.

I've been there and can give your suggestions.

My situation was very similar to yours, I was 29 she was 19.

The most important thing is to settle yourself as the guy who made her feel all possible emotions, you probably remember your first kiss as something great while the following ones not so special, the emotional imprint you give to a woman is what really helps to bond with her.

Now what I suggest you is giving a try and run the risk, you have a good chance of a successful marriage while your risk in case of failure are not that much...what would change between being single now or being single in 3 years?

Your biggest problem right now are her friends, they will tell anything to her to make you split up, they want her to join their trips, they want her to meet the friend of their boyfriends and so on, they want her to be part of their circle.

The problems are not the guys who will hit on her at school but the female friends she will have there, they are the biggest destabilizing factor.

Wait 2-3 yrs at least then if you still want to marry her give it a try (with all the safety procedures).

If you drop her and get a 25yrs old girl is almost sure that she rode the c0ck carousel so much that her bonding ability will be almost none.

Your condition is one of the few for a successful marriage.

I haven't met her friends so maybe I should do that and win them over. I should do this when she goes to uni too.

what are the safety procedures you speak of?

And what do you mean my condition is one of the few for a successful marriage?

 

[Bible_Belt]

No one really wants to be a lawyer. They just think they do.

 

[El Payaso]

You're thinking way ahead of yourself.

What you should be thinking of right now is making the biggest emotional imprint in her.

She's at a very young, formative and gullible age. When you make a really deep mark in her, you won't even need to worry about marriage or other guys competing for her and what not because she'll be so stuck on you.

Always remember that there are thousands of other women out there so don't pedestalize her or develop a scarcity mindset.

Just fvck her good, treat her good and have a strong frame.

 

[Slash Dolo]

I dated an 18 year old girl that I met when I was 24. It was the best relationship I've ever had but at the same time ended pretty awfully too. Out of the blue she wanted to "change" me around the two year mark. I think that's some weird fantasy girls have especially when they are younger. I broke it off soon after.

If it lasts you're lucky and you have a 30 year old hottie to bang when you're still 40, but be realistic and have one foot out the door at all times.

 

[BeTheChange]

18 is not marriage material. She will change her mind and personality like the direction of the wind for the next 7 years and you won't enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

This. People forget how impressionable they were before 25, particularly between 18 and 22. I'd keep her around but wouldn't take her seriously for a good few years.

 

[logicallefty]

Go for it. Establish your frame immediately. Make sure she knows where your boundaries are early on, and that you control the relationship not her. The great thing about one this young is that they typically aren't as damaged as the ones in their 30s so you could end up with a really good LTR if you want it. Just don't get too emotionally invested and ride the ride.

 

[Desdinova]

It sounds like you might have a nice gem on your hands. Age 18-23 is when a woman is in her best position for pair-bonding. Now, let's address your issue...

Now this is where I get stuck, I want to get married in my early 30s and also have kids

Why do you need all this in your early 30s? A man have a very lengthy amount of time where he can reproduce. The woman doesn't. You should be basing marriage and children on her timeline, not yours.

Women need the answer by about age 27. This is when they start thinking seriously about commitment and babies. This is when their body begins to deteriorate, and their biological clock becomes more noticeable. You my friend have nine years to mould her into the companion you want before you're required to commit. Use this time wisely. Establish yourself in a good career, a decent home, and keep life fun for yourself. If she is truly seeing you as her lifelong companion, she will follow your lead and support you in the decisions you make. She'll also bring a lot of great stuff to your life.

Nine years to decide if you want to make her a permanent fixture is fantastic and at this point, necessary. She's either in the party phase or hasn't begun it. She may even skip over it. This is where you'll have to wait and see. If she isn't in her party phase by her mid-20s, you're likely in the clear. THAT is when you begin to make your decision on whether to keep her for procreation. If she's proven herself to be a good, loyal companion, then go for it. If she falls off the cliff before her mid-20s, then you'll know you've dodged a bullet.[/B]

 

[wonderer]

I'm pleasantly surprised with the comments, I thought id be told to next her and find someone more suitable. I'm going to give it a real go.

I disagree. He should do his thinking now - while he still can - before he gets too involved and his judgment is clouded.

Agree with this comment, I need to think of it now before I invest too much time for nothing. I will always have one foot out of the the door, and will not be not be too attached.

Why do you need all this in your early 30s? [/B]

This is my choice, I know nothing is guaranteed but if I can I'd like to have children younger. I wont let this situation change something I feel strongly about.

 

[devilkingx2]

- Not a slut - took me until 3rd date to kiss her, would not have sex with me for a long time

hook, line and sinker

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah man, you should go for 68 year olds!

I kid, I kid!

 

[bigneil]

A man should always date the youngest women who are attracted to him.

I have a second date with a HB9+ 20 year old Friday and I'm 46.

 

[wifehunter]

A man should always date the youngest women who are attracted to him.

I have a second date with a HB9+ 20 year old Friday and I'm 46.

Right there with you!

 

[Dingo]

What do her parents think ?.... Curious...

 

[bigneil]

My date's father is 12 years older than me, and my date thought I was 12 years younger than I am. Hence, I look one generation younger than her father.

 

[Desdinova]

What do her parents think ?.... Curious...

This is actually quite important. If she allows herself to remain highly influenced by her parents and they don't approve of the age gap, they have the power to destroy the relationship.

A man should always date the youngest women who are attracted to him.

Agreed. I'm 38 and my GF is 23. I entered her HSL when she was 20. I was the second guy to fvck her when she was 21, and started officially dating her when she was 22.

 

[dude99]

A man should always date the youngest women who are attracted to him.

I have a second date with a HB9+ 20 year old Friday and I'm 46.

Date yes. But marry? No.