Girlfriend was flirting with another guy at bar, so I left

[nugama]

Short story - Girlfriend (4 months), one of her friends, and I went out to the bar for Karaoke. The girls decided it was time to go about thirty minutes before last call. On the way out, they stopped and started to flirt with a guy. I kept going stopped outside for a smoke, then sat in my car for about 3 minutes, then left after they didn't show up.

Details - The guy and his girlfriend were at the bar. His girlfriend had sat down next to me for a while and was constantly touching my hand, shoulder, etc - nothing serious, but things normally considered signs. It was not reciprocated by me. In my opinion, she is bored of her boyfriend at this point and is looking for a replacement.
My girlfriends friend was also flirting with me, but that seemed to be more of an esteem boost for her (she just caught her husband cheating 3 weeks after having a baby) and less actual interest. So I play flirted back, again no serious intent by either of us.
After arriving home 20 minutes after leaving them, I gave her a call - she canceled the call after one ring. So I got ready for bed. She then called me and said something to the effect of your an ass and it's over. Thirty minutes later she calls again and asks how I could leave her and her friend like that. Told her I was willing to work it out, but that I wasn't interested in playing games. Told me she had to get a ride home from her mom. She then said she would talk to me in the morning. And she called again thirty minutes later. This time I was asleep, rolled over - looked at my phone - didn't answer - went back to sleep.

I work at 10 AM this morning. Thought about talking to her in person on the way in, but also not sure. What would you guys do at this point?

 

[CMNILS87]

Women and alcohol don't mix. You're asking for anybody's girlfriend to flirt at a bar. Instead of acting butt hurt, you should've been assertive. You should've interjected in between them and said, "hey it's all fun flirting and ****, but I'm going home and she's getting a spanking for flirting". You lightly grab her by waist and push her out the door. No time for that.

Or, soft next her. Because if she's flirting with another guy with you around. She's testing for jealousy and it's probably bored with you.

 

[Poon King]

Leaving is a bit of an over-reaction. Its a very passive-aggressive reaction which is kind of feminine.

I don't engage in passive-aggressive behavior. I just call b!tches out on the spot. I would of simply told her she is being disrespectful by flirting with another man. If she reacts to that in a non-submissive or non-apologetic manner (such as denying it or dismissing it) I would then demoted her to sex toy in my mind. I would then start spinning new plates and give her less attention in the coming days/weeks until she is replaced with someone better.

REMEMBER MEN: You should always care LESS about the relationship than the woman does. Always. If you find the woman cares less than you do.. its time to leave or start spinning more plates. Female hypergamy is real. There is no reason to continue further emotional investment in someone who's interest level is declining. Once I see a woman's interest level is dropping.. I know "the best is over" and I start the process of emotional detachment from that particular plate/woman.

Women don't go backwards emotionally. Once her interest level drops it doesn't return. A lot of dumb men think it can be reversed with PUA tricks and manipulation. NOPE. It cannot be reversed. You can win the lottery and it still won't come back. What will happen is she will want your money BUT the sexual attraction will NOT come back. Don't kid yourself.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What if you lost her sexual attention getting fat? Then you worked it off and looked like magic mike naked? Her sexual interest will raise from the increase in your physical dominance.

 

[Firestar786]

this happened to me once this year.

I first called her out on it, and then left.

But if ur girl is flirting with another guy that is clear disrespect so f0ck her and leave her to it.

There's others out there anyway

It is probably some sort of serious sh1t test and her just testing how big your balls are.

P.s just trying walking out on a girl sometimes without saying or doing anything. In my experience there level of respect really goes up especially if you leave her in a place where it's hard to get home lol

 

[CMNILS87]

What if you lost her sexual attention getting fat? Then you worked it off and looked like magic mike naked? Her sexual interest will raise from the increase in your physical dominance.

Indeed, I've casually dated girls that would say buff guys are gross. Then whaddya know her new boyfriend is a personal trainer. If you stay in shape and at least a little muscular. You can beat out 90% of average men. Be physical, be dominant when kissing her and let her hamster do the rest till you make sexy time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I agree that leaving like that was passive-aggressive. I usually make a remark about inviting the other guy home for a gangbang, pretending to be serious. It's a subtle way to say, "stop being a wh0re." Women get the point very quickly.

 

[NSX-R]

I wouldn't even apologize. It was kinda aggresive but nevertheless you should never apologize for your action because you seem weak. Poon King is right .

 

[Trump]

Leaving is a bit of an over-reaction. Its a very passive-aggressive reaction which is kind of feminine.

I don't engage in passive-aggressive behavior. I just call b!tches out on the spot. I would of simply told her she is being disrespectful by flirting with another man. If she reacts to that in a non-submissive or non-apologetic manner (such as denying it or dismissing it) I would then demoted her to sex toy in my mind. I would then start spinning new plates and give her less attention in the coming days/weeks until she is replaced with someone better.

REMEMBER MEN: You should always care LESS about the relationship than the woman does. Always. If you find the woman cares less than you do.. its time to leave or start spinning more plates. Female hypergamy is real. There is no reason to continue further emotional investment in someone who's interest level is declining. Once I see a woman's interest level is dropping.. I know "the best is over" and I start the process of emotional detachment from that particular plate/woman.

Women don't go backwards emotionally. Once her interest level drops it doesn't return. A lot of dumb men think it can be reversed with PUA tricks and manipulation. NOPE. It cannot be reversed. You can win the lottery and it still won't come back. What will happen is she will want your money BUT the sexual attraction will NOT come back. Don't kid yourself.

Poon you are right as always, but is it ok for the guy to flirt with 2 girls, but when the girl decides to do it call them out on it? If he doesn't flirt, then he can say something. But he flirts and then freaks out and strands his girlfriend there because she decided to flirt, that's ridiculous. You can't have it both ways.

 

[devilkingx2]

leaving was just the right reaction as long as she knows what she did. it shows that you don't fvck around or tolerate bvll****. imo calling her out isn't as good of an idea because it's easier to play off leaving as you being apathetic than it would be to come off apathetic instead of butthurt during a confrontation.

just tell her if she wants to flirt with guys, then those guys can take her home afterwards too.

 

[CMNILS87]

Poon you are right as always, but is it ok for the guy to flirt with 2 girls, but when the girl decides to do it call them out on it? If he doesn't flirt, then he can say something. But he flirts and then freaks out and strands his girlfriend there because she decided to flirt, that's ridiculous. You can't have it both ways.

The story doesn't really make any sense. His GF was flirting. The dudes GF and her girl friend was teasing him. Sounds like close friends all teasing each other.

But the paradigm you brought up was the question overall.

How is it ok for us to flirt with other girls in front of an exclusive GF, while it's pure blasphemy for her to flirt in front of us?
Guys flirt to have fun and joke?
Girls flirt to test for attraction?

 

[Poon King]

Poon you are right as always, but is it ok for the guy to flirt with 2 girls, but when the girl decides to do it call them out on it? If he doesn't flirt, then he can say something. But he flirts and then freaks out and strands his girlfriend there because she decided to flirt, that's ridiculous. You can't have it both ways.

True.. you can't have it both ways.

But based on the story.. it seems like she took the flirting further than he did if it was enough to make him leave. There are different degrees of flirting. You can tease and compliment a person OR you can start touching them and sending out sexual innuendos. I'm assuming she took it further than he did.

Maybe the OP will give more details. But if the flirting was equal, then I agree with you Trump.

 

[stevo]

You did well until you called her after leaving. That was a pussie move. If you're going to be confident, you have to be confident all the way.

You leaving meant you could care less but you calling shortly after meant you doubted yourself.

Let this one cool off. Start looking for plates, heaven knows she's already monkey branching.