How to properly chase?

[ChangePages]

Hello,

I want to start approaching and talking to women, I have started this on tinder and on instagram since I now have a ton of female followers. My question to you is how to properly chase a women in the beginning stages?

Because I feel like there's contradiction in these forums, or so I perceive them as.

"Don't chase her, let her come to you"
"Never chase a women"

I get that you don't chase a women if shes showing disinterest, I understand that I shouldn't chase a women but how long should I chase a women in the beginning stages of conversation? I don't expect her to carry on the conversation if I abruptly end it.

 

[wifehunter]

Its tough, women are taught that men do the chasing, yet they blow us off when we do. They wait by the phone. And then get sad when we dont call. When we do call, they ignore. It's stupid.

Show interest intially, then let her blow you off, then walk away. Seems to work for me.

 

[BeTheChange]

Betas chase. Men pursue.

"Never chase women" doesn't mean standing around like a statue and waiting for the women to come to you.

Instead, you confidently make your interests known through your behaviour by doing things like asking for the number, inviting them out to dates, kino and further escalation until you get what you want. If they reject your advances then you move on to the next one and you should be juggling multiple girls anyway.

A further caveat. A single rejection does not necessarily mean she is not interested. It's an art not a science and something you can only really learn from spinning plates.

 

[ChangePages]

Betas chase. Men pursue.

"Never chase women" doesn't mean standing around like a statue and waiting for the women to come to you.

Instead, you confidently make your interests known through your behaviour by doing things like asking for the number, inviting them out to dates, kino and further escalation until you get what you want. If they reject your advances then you move on to the next one and you should be juggling multiple girls anyway.

A further caveat. A single rejection does not necessarily mean she is not interested. It's an art not a science and something you can only really learn from spinning plates.

I like that better.

The art of pursuing. Anyone cares to show insight in the pursuing stages?

 

[RangerMIke]

You express interest by asking women out. If it happens... it happens... This is pursuit. A cougar goes after a deer, the cougar pursues, but if the deer gets away the cougar stops and returns and wait for another deer to come by.... the cougar does not continue to 'chase' a deer that has hopelessly escaped. This is the difference between pursuit and escape.

If a woman is not attracted to you, interested in you, and available, you are wasting your time pursuing her. If you keep trying with women you do not have a shot with, or one that is making it too hard... then you are 'chasing' this is bad for three of reasons (1) It makes you look weak with no options. (2) It's a waste of time. (3) While you are wasting your time chasing women you have little to no chance with, you are ignoring women that you DO have a shot with.

 

[ChangePages]

You express interest by asking women out. If it happens... it happens... This is pursuit. A cougar goes after a deer, the cougar pursues, but if the deer gets away the cougar stops and returns and wait for another deer to come by.... the cougar does not continue to 'chase' a deer that has hopelessly escaped. This is the difference between pursuit and escape.

If a woman is not attracted to you, interested in you, and available, you are wasting your time pursuing her. If you keep trying with women you do not have a shot with, or one that is making it too hard... then you are 'chasing' this is bad for three of reasons (1) It makes you look weak with no options. (2) It's a waste of time. (3) While you are wasting your time chasing women you have little to no chance with, you are ignoring women that you DO have a shot with.

Okay I understand, you guys push dates quickly. Now I will not argue with that logic of setting up a date quickly but how about getting to know her first before pushing a date? The reason I push this logic is to feel her out to see if she's interested or if I'm interested in putting in time. How long should I pursue getting to know her.. Before pushing a date?

 

[resilient]

Granted, Morgan Freeman is an A-list actor. He has instant social proof. Yet even as old guy, I think he has some interesting words on the chase dynamic. Here's the clip from a few years back:

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay I understand, you guys push dates quickly. Now I will not argue with that logic of setting up a date quickly but how about getting to know her first before pushing a date? The reason I push this logic is to feel her out to see if she's interested or if I'm interested in putting in time. How long should I pursue getting to know her.. Before pushing a date?

You get to know her on dates.

Do not try to use logic with women, they are emotional creatures and they do not respond to logic in romantic situations. It is all about emotion... never try to reason ANY relationship with women... and it is ALL about the moment. While you are wasting time to 'get to know her', she is learning all about you and therefore giving her less and less reason for you to go out with her.

Attraction = Curiosity. The more she knows about you the the less curious and less attracted she will be. The longer she knows you while you have not fvcked her... the less interest in dating you she will have.

 

[Ratiocinative]

Chasing and initiating are two different thing. Chasing, to me, is when you ask a woman out, and she doesn't say yes, and then you ask again without a good reason. If her interest level is moderate, then I think its acceptable to wait a few weeks, call her, attempt to create some rapport, and ask again, but never ask more than twice.

Attract -> Initiate -> Escalate

Not

Attract -> Get to Know Her -> Become Her Friend -> Friendzoned

 

[Ratiocinative]

Okay I understand, you guys push dates quickly. Now I will not argue with that logic of setting up a date quickly but how about getting to know her first before pushing a date? The reason I push this logic is to feel her out to see if she's interested or if I'm interested in putting in time. How long should I pursue getting to know her.. Before pushing a date?

You ask her out as soon as you know she is attracted to you. Google rapport.

For example in my mma classes there is a woman I've been crushing on. Been there a month and never talked to her (on purpose). Wednesday she came over and rolled with me, laughed at everything I said, and even came over to nervously say bye and that she'd see me around. All I know is her name, we both like mma, that she's hot, I want her, and she wants me. That's it, and thats all I need to ask her out next time I see her.

 

[JohnChops]

Chasing is when you ask out a girl and she rejects you, and then you continually keep trying to get her.

Pursuing is asking her out, she rejects you, you drop her because you are no point in chasing a disinterested girl.

The distinction is key.

 

[ChangePages]

You ask her out as soon as you know she is attracted to you. Google rapport.

For example in my mma classes there is a woman I've been crushing on. Been there a month and never talked to her (on purpose). Wednesday she came over and rolled with me, laughed at everything I said, and even came over to nervously say bye and that she'd see me around. All I know is her name, we both like mma, that she's hot, I want her, and she wants me. That's it, and thats all I need to ask her out next time I see her.

Yes but how would I get that from a text lets say, without knowing if shes interested in the first place

 

[icantgetlaid]

This is very simple: girls that are interested let you lead them wherever you want to take them.

If you want to find out whether a girl is interested in you/finds you attractive/etc. you screw your balls on tight, approach them, and ask them for their number/ask them out/and escalate.

Any behavior/response on her part that isn't encouraging you to continue to pursue/escalate -- ANYTHING other than an overt "yes" -- is a "no i'm not interested in you" and it's time for you to move on.

 

[devilkingx2]

you don't chase women, as someone once said, chasing implies that she's running away, you don't run to women, you walk. and if you can't catch them, you walk in some other direction.

as someone else on here likes to say, don't waste your time with uninterested women, if she likes you she isn't truly trying to get away and will let you catch her without much effort.

if you need to ask her out more than once, if she doesn't respond to your texts/calls, or is dry in conversation, etc. that's not code to try harder or try a new strategy, that's code to try a new girl

 

[Julian]

i dont hoe chase. women do the choosing. these bitches will let u know they are feeling you and when it comes to one of those hotties that blatantly ignores u its usually meaning she wants you but shes a stupid ass hoe that wants u to go beta over her. fk that

 

[wifehunter]

i dont hoe chase. women do the choosing. these bitches will let u know they are feeling you and when it comes to one of those hotties that blatantly ignores u its usually meaning she wants you but shes a stupid ass hoe that wants u to go beta over her. fk that

I agree, fk that!!!

 

[BeTheChange]

I like that better.

The art of pursuing. Anyone cares to show insight in the pursuing stages?

I can provide a very recent example.

Had a date with a girl I used to teach. 22 years old, bubbly personality, great job and the hottest girl I've been gaming since my ex. First date I've been on where I was actually excited.

I pursued her for a number of months. Last year I tried gaming her (after our professional relationship had ended of course) with no success due to on and off bf issues. Sent her the occasional "check in" text a few times this year. She was back with the bf, then they broke up and she went travelling for a few months, etc, etc. Note that if it was clear to me she was unavailable, for whatever reason, I cut contact and reinitiated months later. If I had continued to push her, that would have been chasing.

Fast forward to last night. She's single now, so we grab a few drinks at several bar, then some food, then we meet a few of her friends at another bar.

All is going great. We are kissing and groping each other heavily. She agrees it would be a good idea to come back to my place. I try and sort out an Uber and leave, without telling her, spending the next 20 minutes looking for this taxi. By the time I get back she is in a bit of a mood, claiming I left her and now wants to go a friend's house. I initially apologise and try and convince her to come back anyway. When it's clear she is no longer interested, despite my obvious advancements, I leave it. I don't keep on trying to chase when her mind is made up.

We are cool now and still confident I will have her at some point.

I think the key difference is the mindset and the acceptance of knowing that beyond a certain position, there is nothing you as a man can do to change a woman's mind about what she will or won't do with you at a particular point in time.

Men who pursue understand and accept this, ideally with almost zen like indifference.

Men who chase are oblivious.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm a woman. An old one by many standards here, lol.

1. You meet someone you like
2. You ask her out (initiating as the man should)
3. IF she says yes you chat her up and get to know her more/better in person.

If she declines she isn't interested in you at this point in time. Read NO, regardless how nice she is. Be a man and move on.

If she counters (she might truly be busy on the day/night you planned), then you are back to step 2 above.

After you have a date, wait a day or two and start again for the next date with step 2 above. Keep repeating.

After several dates or sex (whichever comes first), initiate the occasional phone call. Keep it short (no 2 hour marathons). Key word here = occasional. Send the occasional touch base text once you are "dating". Make statements & rarely ask questions. Real conversation is for in person time (sex/dates etc.) DO NOT HAVE LONG DRAWN OUT TEXT SESSIONS. Don't you have other stuff to do?

Anything more than what I've described risks becoming "chasing". It comes off needy.

Give her enough space to wonder about you. Always leave her wanting more rather than feeling relieved to get away.

A woman who likes you will always respond & make it easy for you to be the man and take the lead...but be the man & take the lead you must.

The steps above are the bare bones basics. Tried and true. More experienced men will tweak to suit their style & personality & experience level.

Women worth having will appreciate such an approach and WAIT for the man to initiate. Other women will take to chasing you (which you can then respond as you please but always leave her wanting more.)

 

[EyeBRollin]

Ask her out on a date. I only call if it is a chick from online that I exchanged numbers with, just to see if she's worth asking out. After you go out on a date, she will usually text you after the date if she had a good time. Wait until the next day to respond, and ask her out again. She will get into the habit of hitting you up, knowing that it will result in you taking action by getting her on another date.

Bottom line: save getting to know each other for in person. Use the phone to set up dates.