The Adventures of Christopher Columbus

[ChristopherColumbus]

Mate, he daygames - I daygame. I know the score.

He is getting dates by being non-threatening, and accepting her frame.

This is why he invest a lot, and gets no value.

Then he rationalizes, and proffers a poem.......

Yes, I know how to day-game. I went through a stage where I could approach over 10 woman in day before, but once I got rid of the approach anxiety, and gained that skill, I toned it all down to suit my own style.To me that is the mark of a beginner. I'm more selective now, and consider myself at the intermediate stage.

I am flirty, they know what is up, when I approach and date. I just decide to do it at my own pace and on my own terms.

I may rationalize and write poetry, but at least I do not dogmatize. ha ha

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Date Debrief

Coffee date with Emily was a bit boring. I was tired, and could not really get things sparked up. It didn't help that we could not communicate that well -- she is a Chinese speaker, I'm an English speaker, and we spoke in broken Korean. Called it quits after an hour, and we walked back together to our neighborhood which ended up making the date pleasant enough.No kino, and doubt this one is going anywhere.



Dinner date with Bora was a different affair. I was a bit more excited about this date. We met at the cafe where we met last, and went straight to dinner. Once again the conversation was very subdued. I just went with the flow, and didn't try to force anything. She is cute but seems quite melancholic. I paid.

We then went to a candle-lit bar where we had a beer and a platter of fruit. Stayed there for about an hour, talking in both English and Korean. Early on made a few light efforts at kino. She brought up the big topics of age, and marriage versus the single life, and freedom, and pressure from family. At one point, I just went for her hand and held it gently, which she was comfortable with. We held hands for the rest of the night, and it seemed to make a breakthrough of sorts, where before we were both unsure where things were going. After our beer, which we dragged out for a good hour, we decided to call it an early night. She paid before I knew it, and we left.

While walking her to the bus-stop, there was great body contact between us, and while waiting for the bus I leaned in to plant one unobtrusively on her cheek. She reciprocated with a peck on my lips. But I then sensed she did not want any more escalation there and then [in public], so I just wrapped an arm around her hip. I'm a little relieved to have moved things along a little, and can see a good possibility of this going somewhere.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Some Random Thoughts

The more quality woman you desire, the more you concern yourself with 'inner game'. You develop yourself.

With inner game, you are first the unmoved mover, content and grounded in yourself, not running around like a puppy dog with its tongue hanging out, reacting to each and every stimuli. In the normal course of your day, a woman will signal her interest. You'll naturally respond. This is the lazy man's way of doing 'pick up', except it's now not 'pick up' because it's natural.

You will be selective. To be selective, you need to be patient. To be patient, you need to be in control of your libido.

Game ceases to be game. It was the Geeks who coined the term, the mature man by contrast is a Greek. Game is now more like Dance, there is a natural flow to the interaction, you either dance or you don't. Where Game is often approached like some theoretical science [geeky... the Geek is awkward because unsocialized and antisocial], Dance is a fine art. And like most arts, it interacts and cross-fertilizers with a variety of disciplines, mostly practical. With art, it touches on the real nature of the cosmos more effectively than our crude attempts to clutch it with our concepts. It's philosophy, if it must have one, is Romanticism. It pursues unity besides multiplicity. It does not seek to preserve and protect an alienated individuality like Game does.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

A good day; wrote a poem, had a swim, flirted with a girl.

And perhaps these were inter-connected. Having been in the flow of poetry, and on my way to flow through water, I noticed the sexiest lady in latex pushing her cycle along the footpath. I assumed she recognized me from somewhere, so I gave her a huge smile, which she returned. We both held each-others gaze as we passed, but it turns out we were perfect strangers. Still, I know if I see her again....


Deciduous

A wind in the leaves whispers of winter's advent,
And now murmurs softly of a summer well spent.
Curled and colored, the first leaf falls to the ground
Perfecting its cycle on the year round.

Past, present, future - the panorama of tense,
And time held in the balance, this tree presents,
Which has bewitched both my senses and sense,
Granting for the moment a timeless lens.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Well, if you haven't already guessed by now, I'm deeply ambivalent about 'game'.

It has helped me approach women and get dates, but I have also lost girls who thought I was a 'player' [a common prejudice towards foreigners here].

In sum, I think it is the inner game aspects that have helped me here in Korea. All the outer game aspects are really quite counter-productive here in this culture. 'Game' is really tailored to a certain kind of woman within a certain kind of culture.

Case in point. Had a relatively successful date the other night, but I left it for four days before to I re-initiated contact [following good DJ principles]. No reply. You really shouldn't be thinking about gaming these women. Best just to be natural.

Of course, she is a conservative church-goer, so after a chat with her friends, she may have just decided to run a mile.

Inner game helps in that I am not emotionally invested, at these early stages, and always ready to pursue other options. It kind of sucks when you get the cold shoulder just when you thought things were warming up, but hey that's life. A text today out of the blue from a girl I thought I'd lost contact was timely. Coffee with her tomorrow... and then a quiet drink at a bar with a mate.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Some of the things you have to put up with....

So walk into the coffee shop after work, and allowed a lady to order before me. She gave me a smile. After ordering, I thought I'd try and strike up a conversation. She actually backed up, looking all shocked and surprised when I said hello, and then backed up again when I tried to salvage it! ha ha... This is Korea!

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

So had a bit of a glum day yesterday with nothing really panning out from my recent dates. It's a good thing us DJs have learned resilience otherwise all this rejection would have you nose-diving into depression.... ha ha

I'm starting to think this third-tier city in a Confucian country is 'Orwellian' in so far as relations between the sexes goes. The behavior is heavily prescribed. But there is no point in dwelling too much on that as you would soon retreat from the field. Better to think that women are women, and put yourself out there again. This may sound a bit Don Quixote, but I don't think we should concern ourselves with reality too much when it is the task of the Don Juan to make his own reality.

And so back to the drawing board. Shortly after getting up, I head out to the coffee shops. Talk to the first girl there, chat, get the number then split. A church-goer with a boy-friend, so not much potential there. Yes, I know, the women in the bars are a better bet, but they tend to be a lot younger and dizzier. Not really my type. On-line? The women tend to be screwed up, and I find it unadventurous... like going shopping. Where's the spontaneity? So looks like I am stuck with day game, and a little bar game.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

So go for a swim after lunch. Struck up a conversation with a Chinese girl. She had memorized by phone number by the time I left.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

OP you have to go even further beyond Haha. LMK

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

So with previous dates turning into dead ends, I flicked off texts to a few women I'd met over the past month but that had gone cold on me. One came back, and so we have a date organized this weekend.

Met another woman in the swimming pool. I must be doing something right. What usually happens is I catch them staring at me, and then hold the eye contact, in that very moment, and say something immediately. Most women expect you to look away awkwardly.

-------

Full Circle

Either lucid or ludicrous
Is the poet deprived -
Dependent, without doubt, on what
Currently is cognized.

He sits in melancholic mood,
Stripped of all illusion,
His pieces scattered now devoid
Of coherent fusion.

He listened to the scientist,
Who dug down underneath,
And on our aspirations large,
Happily laid a wreath.

Yet ludicrous the vision is
That kills the heart’s desire,
When knowledge knows itself heart-felt -
The fuel that lit the fire.

And now the fire burns so low,
What’s lucid who’s to say?
If everything’s illusory...
Born is the poet’s day!

 

[SteR]

I admire your ability to set up so many dates so often, but how come you're not capitalising on any of them? Have any gone further than a first date?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I admire your ability to set up so many dates so often, but how come you're not capitalising on any of them? Have any gone further than a first date?

No excuses, but the reality is I'm facing a bit of an uphill battle in the lay of the field.

First, I'm no spring chicken, and pushing fifty. I'm more on the short side, and half grey. That said, I'm not bald and have an excellent physique for my age due to swimming often. I also like to think my charm and sparkling personality help me stand out a little.

And then there is location. Location, location, location is the first rule in more than real estate it seems. I'm in Korea, and then not in the capital but a second tier city. The women here are conservative due to both the public culture, which is Confucian, and private religion. Every second women I meet is a churchgoer. And though I'm in no way adverse to religion, they tend to be more of the Puritanical kind.

If I wasn't a 'lover of the chase' kind of guy, I'd give up. But I enjoy the chase, and conversing with a woman. I'm quite confident that one of my interactions will develop into a relationship. Other guys I know, have quite on Korea and have headed off to greener pastures in other Asian countries.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, I 'escalate' and don't

Have you even really tried to escalate these dates, though?

It doesn't seem that you have even attempted to kiss anyone.

What do you have to lose in trying? You won't see any of these birds again, and you at least have good enough game to have an abundance of opportunities.

It simply isn't right that you have all these dates and get nowhere.

Well, I think it is a fine balancing act here; escalate too much and you scare them off. I think the best approach is to wait for the woman to initiate kino and then respond. I notice a few guys here even do that in the west.

Also, think of pre Sexual revolutionary 1950s America, and you'll get the general idea of what it is like here. When I was back in my home country, I found it all a lot easier. But I like a challenge, and these girls are beautiful.

 

[guru1000]

No excuses, but the reality is I'm facing a bit of an uphill battle in the lay of the field.

Self-limiting belief.

First, I'm no spring chicken, and pushing fifty. I'm more on the short side, and half grey

Self-limiting belief.

That said, I'm not bald and have an excellent physique for my age due to swimming often. I also like to think my charm and sparkling personality help me stand out a little.

Back-handed compliment.

And then there is location. Location, location, location is the first rule in more than real estate it seems. I'm in Korea, and then not in the capital but a second tier city. The women here are conservative due to both the public culture, which is Confucian, and private religion. Every second women I meet is a churchgoer. And though I'm in no way adverse to religion, they tend to be more of the Puritanical kind.

Self-limiting belief.

If I wasn't a 'lover of the chase' kind of guy, I'd give up.

Pat on your back for your inaction.

Time to focus on your inner-game.

As to outer-game: I'll leave you with a pic of Stallone at 70 yo, just as short as you. Exercise, diet, testosterone, facial fillers, a skin-tightening regimen; age is entirely irrelevant for the 'aesthetically aware' male.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, yes, yes, I'm all aware of 'limiting beliefs'. But I take a more dialectical approach so to speak; whilst recognizing realities, I will transcend them and realize the ideal.

A one-sided approach can lead one to fall into the trap of self-delusional behavior. Some may advocate self-delusion, and even narcissism, in so far as it helps you bed women. Personally, women are not my 'ultimate concern'. I may be looking for relations with women, but I am also wanting harmonious relations within my own soul.

My inner game is fine, it's the outer realities I have to contend with. We do still believe in reality I'm presuming. Anyway, neither a realist nor an idealist be I say. Be both.

I'm relatively content at the moment with dates organized for both Saturday and Sunday.

 

[SteR]

First, I'm no spring chicken, and pushing fifty. I'm more on the short side, and half grey. That said, I'm not bald and have an excellent physique for my age due to swimming often. I also like to think my charm and sparkling personality help me stand out a little.

It doesn't sound like your age is a problem though - If these women had an issue with it then they wouldn't respond to your invites. It looks like the issue is escalation..

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

It doesn't sound like your age is a problem though - If these women had an issue with it then they wouldn't respond to your invites. It looks like the issue is escalation..

Yes, either too much or too little no doubt.

 

[guru1000]

Personally, women are not my 'ultimate concern'. I may be looking for relations with women, but I am also wanting harmonious relations within my own soul.

Interesting specimen.

CC, ask your soul why your actions are incongruent with your LLTR desire. Identify the encumbrances; the objective truth.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Philosophical Reflections

Self can never be collapsed and ossified into a flat two-dimensional view of the world, into a representation... no matter how life-like. Like the world, the true self is elusive, has depth, and is fluid. It is organic and takes various forms on its way through life. Not the object of thought, it is essentially unknowable. It is the subject of faith. Ideologies come and go like stationary platforms along the way. It incorporates particular modes, views, and stages into its own universality. Everything is in flux, and meaning is infinitely variable as words and ideas line up in various combinations. Anything less is dehumanizing.

This is a teleological/ biological view of human nature. The life of self is an unfolding, a growth, a self-development along the lines of one's own inner instincts. To settle for an ideology, however persuasive, would be to arrest progress.

If this is true, we must incorporate the insights of all views without settling for one in particular.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

A Reprieve

Of my tiresome self I took
A stroll to lighten me.
A leaden sky grown heavy rained,
A gravel road there gleamed.

At the park were solit’ry birds
Ensconced among the trees,
Offering up occasioned notes
As if for me to please.

I read a book of poetry,
And rushed through golden leaves,
To find the purple passages,
Which from my thoughts did tease

An idle moment there enjoyed
And spent in reverie;
A comic medieval play,
The best of all reprieves.