Burn the bridge or leave it?

[Visionist]

A few months back I met a HB9 at a one-off taster dance course. She seemed real keen and agreed to a date soon (instadate wasn't possible), but of course cancelled it on the day. Eventually she began contacting me for help translating short letters into English (she's a translator) and I would only oblige after day long pauses in communication, very matter-of-fact and aloof. I asked her out once or twice, to exciting events, and she always said she was busy with work, which isn't a lie but of course the age old rule that we're never busy for who we really wanna see applies in spades here. Eventually I deleted her number.

So suddenly one day she calls me and I answer this unknown number, and don't recognize her voice, which was amusing. She says she can be over to my town that night, to "make a phone call overseas she needs my help with". Seeing what looks like my only chance to meet her again I agree. I met her in a public place, lots of stares, lots of murmurs between people who know me and have never seen me with a girl (I'm on an unbelievably long dry spell, epic is the word). The phone conversation which was supposed to happen, couldn't for technical reasons, so I bar hopped with her (she offered to pay which is a big red flag here in Italy, folks say) and we had a drink, chilled out. Escalating was actually a lot harder than I expected, as she acted pleasant but wasn't throwing IOIs out. It seemed awful pointless to put my arm around her, you know? When I walked her to her car some beggar came up for "parking money" (everyday occurrence) so being in an OK mood I gave him a couple Euros change, because he "saw how weak I was", in her immediate subsequent words. Ouch. If you don't pay these fools, your car tends to vanish next time! She'd even left her dog in the car because she "was only supposed to be fifteen minutes" with me (we spent around 90). So I forgot about her, asking her out to an exclusive event a month later, being told "maybe" and then nothing.

All logic says forget about her, but she occasionally texts or calls, which NO uninterested girl does, NONE at all, zero. I asked her out for the final time this Sunday, she declined, then calls me today for another translation favour (only a two minute task, but it's the principle that counts). I only picked up because I thought she might wanna hang-out, and lo and behold she just wants to use me as usual, and offer nothing in return. I did the translation in a couple minutes, and she hasn't thanked me yet. Should I just ignore that or ****y funny call her out on it, before adding after she thanks me "only kidding, just send me a quarter paycheck Goodbye" which should hopefully give her the right idea? She seems only interested in my English, but sometimes contacts me to ask how I am.

To keep me "sweet"?

 

[Filter]

Bro.

She is using you for these translation favors and nothing more. She is not interested in anything romantic with you. This was clear by the end of the first paragraph in your post.

Never burn bridges, no matter how sweet it may feel. You never know when she can be of use to YOU, in non-sexual terms. It's more powerful to have even a potentially useful connection than to tell her a few harsh words that'll have no long-term bearing on her. Granted, her track record of being kind to you is almost nil, but she might come in handy (for something nonsexual) one day. I've been stuck in strange cities with no place to go or stay, and I've had to call up people I barely knew. Stuff like that. You never know.

I'd just ignore her and stop translating for her.

 

[El Payaso]

She's just using you. BLOCK HER NUMBER and move on.

 

[NSX-R]

No , don't stop any contact with her.
I'll try to explain to you what's the issue here.

You told us that she's an hb9 which is a very good thing and it can work at your advantage if you do the right moves. Usually, all hb8 < know that they are attractive so they use this for their benefit. In your case , she's using you . But she also knows that you are full into her and sometimes she calls you to see how you doing only to maintain your interest for her. That's common sense.

Everybody here will tell you to ignore her and stop any contact . Don't do that.

What you should do is , keep the contact with her and start from now on to treat her as a friend and nothing more. Act completely neutral sexualy with her and sometimes refer to her as a friend. Don't be always available for her (but sometimes do her the favor and translate what she needs, don't be full cold with her ). She will know as soon as you do it , that you are not into her anymore and it will make her think , what's wrong. Because she has been used in the past to play with every male because of her beauty ,thankz to your indifference it will make her go crazy and one possibility to counter is for her to give you some IOIs . Don't fall into the trap yet. Continue with your play and she will become more crazy for you . That's one possibility.

Another one is , keep on the friend act and if you don't see any differences from her , use her purely to meet other woman. Women want to compete with each other and when they see another guy with a very attractive woman , they immediately think "this guy must be good". Considering the people in you area always notice such things , it will be very easy for you to find other chicks.

3 key things are , never be always available for her , never do her a favor without a small trade and occasionally go out with her .

Act diplomatically and you will be the winner. Don't blow your opportunities with this woman so easily.

 

[dude99]

No , don't stop any contact with her.
I'll try to explain to you what's the issue here.

You told us that she's an hb9 which is a very good thing and it can work at your advantage if you do the right moves. Usually, all hb8 < know that they are attractive so they use this for their benefit. In your case , she's using you . But she also knows that you are full into her and sometimes she calls you to see how you doing only to maintain your interest for her. That's common sense.

Everybody here will tell you to ignore her and stop any contact . Don't do that.

What you should do is , keep the contact with her and start from now on to treat her as a friend and nothing more. Act completely neutral sexualy with her and sometimes refer to her as a friend. Don't be always available for her (but sometimes do her the favor and translate what she needs, don't be full cold with her ). She will know as soon as you do it , that you are not into her anymore and it will make her think , what's wrong. Because she has been used in the past to play with every male because of her beauty ,thankz to your indifference it will make her go crazy and one possibility to counter is for her to give you some IOIs . Don't fall into the trap yet. Continue with your play and she will become more crazy for you . That's one possibility.

Another one is , keep on the friend act and if you don't see any differences from her , use her purely to meet other woman. Women want to compete with each other and when they see another guy with a very attractive woman , they immediately think "this guy must be good". Considering the people in you area always notice such things , it will be very easy for you to find other chicks.

3 key things are , never be always available for her , never do her a favor without a small trade and occasionally go out with her .

Act diplomatically and you will be the winner. Don't blow your opportunities with this woman so easily.

I kind of agree with your approach but add a little different spin to it

Stop contacting her. Let her only contact you. Spin plates. Date other women. Don't ne available for her all the time. When she calls only glive her 3 minutes of your time then tell her you have to go you have a date. Always be friendly in those 3 minutes. When she asks for translation help remind her that you and her are only friends and you don't do the translations anymore. It was too time consuming for you.

Always end with sorry wish i had time to catch up but gotta pick up my date

 

[ZTIME]

Aahhh!! So many threads here smacking the question of how to get into her pants. Good answers so far, with a lot of conflicting points.

Ask yourself this: If the girl was a fat slob but you were friends , would you do the translation.

If it was one of your buds, would you do the translation?

Would it be free or would you charge $$$$, or maybe even a free beer.

Maybe next time she calls for your services, you say no problem but you're buying drinks on (whatever night you choose).

Do this every time she calls for a favor. You get reciprocated or you stop. Simple.

Treat her like one of your pals........then escalate from there. If she wants to remain friends.....no problem. You're still getting free drinks or favors for your time.

Letting people use you because you think they're hot is still letting people use you. In my book this is counterproductive to being true to yourself.

Do you see this any differently?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She is using you for these translation favors and nothing more. She is not interested in anything romantic with you. This was clear by the end of the first paragraph in your post.

^^^^^^^^^

Agree with the rest, purposely burning bridges just to "teach her a thing or two" is childish and idiotic. See her for what she is. A potential NON-SEXUAL resource.

 

[Visionist]

Good advice everyone. In fact she already served a great purpose making me look good in front of everyone who knows me, as callous as that sounds. The best thing is all the "I won't be used! I'm tired of being used!" posts she puts as her Whatsapp status. She doesn't realize all take and no give isn't a good thing, just like most women don't. She did try to pay for our drinks though, classic friendzone stuff. She replied to my "send half your paycheck" with "haha" after many hours.

 

[marmel75]

A few months back I met a HB9 at a one-off taster dance course. She seemed real keen and agreed to a date soon (instadate wasn't possible), but of course cancelled it on the day. Eventually she began contacting me for help translating short letters into English (she's a translator) and I would only oblige after day long pauses in communication, very matter-of-fact and aloof. I asked her out once or twice, to exciting events, and she always said she was busy with work, which isn't a lie but of course the age old rule that we're never busy for who we really wanna see applies in spades here. Eventually I deleted her number.

So suddenly one day she calls me and I answer this unknown number, and don't recognize her voice, which was amusing. She says she can be over to my town that night, to "make a phone call overseas she needs my help with". Seeing what looks like my only chance to meet her again I agree. I met her in a public place, lots of stares, lots of murmurs between people who know me and have never seen me with a girl (I'm on an unbelievably long dry spell, epic is the word). The phone conversation which was supposed to happen, couldn't for technical reasons, so I bar hopped with her (she offered to pay which is a big red flag here in Italy, folks say) and we had a drink, chilled out. Escalating was actually a lot harder than I expected, as she acted pleasant but wasn't throwing IOIs out. It seemed awful pointless to put my arm around her, you know? When I walked her to her car some beggar came up for "parking money" (everyday occurrence) so being in an OK mood I gave him a couple Euros change, because he "saw how weak I was", in her immediate subsequent words. Ouch. If you don't pay these fools, your car tends to vanish next time! She'd even left her dog in the car because she "was only supposed to be fifteen minutes" with me (we spent around 90). So I forgot about her, asking her out to an exclusive event a month later, being told "maybe" and then nothing.

All logic says forget about her, but she occasionally texts or calls, which NO uninterested girl does, NONE at all, zero. I asked her out for the final time this Sunday, she declined, then calls me today for another translation favour (only a two minute task, but it's the principle that counts). I only picked up because I thought she might wanna hang-out, and lo and behold she just wants to use me as usual, and offer nothing in return. I did the translation in a couple minutes, and she hasn't thanked me yet. Should I just ignore that or ****y funny call her out on it, before adding after she thanks me "only kidding, just send me a quarter paycheck Goodbye" which should hopefully give her the right idea? She seems only interested in my English, but sometimes contacts me to ask how I am.

To keep me "sweet"?

This chick has ZERO interest in you sexually only to use you for what she wants. Also NEVER wait for an IOI, just do what you feel like doing...IOI's are pointless

 

[Big dog]

Do you guys actually read the material here or wherever you guys go? If so, do you guys put it into action?

 

[marmel75]

Do you guys actually read the material here or wherever you guys go? If so, do you guys put it into action?

Absolutely. There is a lot of good info but everyone has to tweak it to fit their personality. My key takeaways from interaction with a woman was

1) Don't give a fvck what they think, do what you feel like doing, whether that be touching, kissing, etc...
2) Escalate in date--do not wait for the end of the date to go for a kiss
3) Have fun and treat them like your 5 year old bratty stepsister
4) Be aloof outside of dates when texting/communicating with them and let them do most of he initiating at first.

that combination turned into a cookie cutter approach that basically had me banging chicks at will for a while. I had a few that didn't initiate or nothing came out of the first date, but for the most part if I didn't fvck the woman it was because I chose not to see her again, they were almost always initiating and wanting to see me again.

 

[marmel75]

...Interaction with "A" woman, so one? It seems like your just quoting your 4 takeaways from this site and others that you have read.

Haha, yes "a woman" as in the one you are in front of on a date. Unfortunately unlike Guru and a few others I've never tried scheduling a double date at the same time and place with multiple women so I can't report about that.

Some of those I have stated repeatedly before in other posts. Once you have done it enough it becomes second nature and it comes off being very confident, very smooth and you are so relaxed and laid back about it like its no big deal that you are making out with a woman 20 minutes into a date. Most women like that.

 

[Big dog]

Absolutely. There is a lot of good info but everyone has to tweak it to fit their personality. My key takeaways from interaction with a woman was

1) Don't give a fvck what they think, do what you feel like doing, whether that be touching, kissing, etc...
2) Escalate in date--do not wait for the end of the date to go for a kiss
3) Have fun and treat them like your 5 year old bratty stepsister
4) Be aloof outside of dates when texting/communicating with them and let them do most of he initiating at first.

that combination turned into a cookie cutter approach that basically had me banging chicks at will for a while. I had a few that didn't initiate or nothing came out of the first date, but for the most part if I didn't fvck the woman it was because I chose not to see her again, they were almost always initiating and wanting to see me again.

...interaction with "A" woman, so one? It seems like your just quoting your four take aways from this site and others.

 

[marmel75]

...interaction with "A" woman, so one? It seems like your just quoting your four take aways from this site and others.

Yes "A" women on a single date, of which there were probably 60 of before I pretty much got to a point where I was able to replicate the same outcome by doing the same thing on most dates after that. Which is why I said I tweaked things up to that point...some things I found worked well for me, others not so much...until I got to the point where I took the things that worked well and eliminated the things that didn't and simply repeated them each date afterwards.

Meaning I took them to the same place, I followed the same in date pattern which was:

-arriving early to get a secluded booth before they got there and let them know to come join me there
-sitting down for a few minutes and bantering back and forth before asking them if they wanted a drink.
-getting the drinks and bringing them back to the booth and then talking for another 10 minutes or so while starting to touch them(easy way is to ask about all the jewerlry they have onevery few minutes like you just noticed something new, or their nails, earrings, etc)
-challenging them to a game of darts where I upped the flirting and touching, etc
-getting another drink after siting back in the booth and basically making out shortly after and then escalating further(putting their hand on your c0ck is a money move)
-staying for another 20-30 minutes and then getting out of their to either bang them or leave for the night.
-wait til they initiate. Most cases I would get a text right after the date saying they had a great time and want to see me again.

Set up another date, rinse and repeat. Almost like a cookie cutter. This sh!t is not hard once you find out what works for you you just keep doing the same thing.

I'm letting you know what has worked for me in date after tweaking things til I got to the point where I KNEW what I was going to do was going to work pretty much on every date.

Wasn't that the original question?

"Do you guys actually use things off this site?"

Why ask the question if you don't want the answer?

I gave you honest feedback, if you don't want it don't take it.