Decided to not reply to short texts/ones that don't offer anything. She's onto me..

[Rambo92]

So this girl I am seeing lights up my phone, like a lot. Not used to dating a girl who acts so keen so maybe I've been doing something right for once.

We've been on a couple of really awesome dates and she's still been contacting me a lot after them, so that's okay. She's actually been the one hinting to go places so I take that on board and arrange a date. When on dates she talks about future trips together too.

But, she texts a lot. We do use the phone sometimes but she's definitely more into texting. I don't usually see this as a problem as long as I'm getting a date out of it and I get to see her in person.

I've been using a technique, whether it is actually one I don't know.. But if she replies with something that doesn't continue the conversation like for a couple of examples.. "See, entrepreneur me" or "Good! ", then I don't respond and I find she tries to continue it an hour later with a question. Heck, I'm a busy person.

However, I recently did this last night on her last reply (was also up early for work so went to sleep) and I got a text from her at half one in the morning asking if she does anything wrong? And that I seem to just not text back after a while?

How should I approach this?

 

[devilkingx2]

tell her that you can't respond if there isn't enough to respond to

not everyone who's a boring texter knows that they are

 

[marmel75]

Why are you carrying on text conversations with her? Have you banged her yet?

 

[MrWood]

She's actually been the one hinting to go places so I take that on board and arrange a date. When on dates she talks about future trips together too.

she is the man, she takes the lead, you simply react and agree to HER LEAD

you go gurl!

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

she is the man, she takes the lead, you simply react and agree to HER LEAD

you go gurl!

The way it is supposed to be, the woman chooses you (through subtle body language changes and mannerisms). You just choose whether or not if you want to act on it. Websites like these exist because a lot of men are unsure of their instincts of whether or not a female likes them. This is mostly subconscious done subconsciously.

 

[fastlife]

I just stop responding when I don't feel like it--from the time I meet a girl so it never becomes that big of a deal. Learned that the hard way with my BPDex--got used to texting her in the honeymoon stage until the DESIRE became an EXPECTATION and if I didn't text her back in 15 minutes it meant I was fvcking some other girl lol.

The advice on here never to text girls except to hang out is a impractical and out-of-date. Field test that with ANY 18-21 y/o and see how long you stay on her radar before she goes into autorejection. But you also don't have to text her every single day. Girls text to build comfort, but more Comfort = Less Attraction; so you need to lead as far as how much of your time/attention you give her or she'll lose interest--even if she's always the one initiating. You also need to focus on guiding the interaction towards what you want.

For me, depending on how often I'm seeing the girl, I'll do 1 or 2 text convos a week that I'll entertain for 4-6 rountrip messages before ejecting. And maybe one longer one at my convenience. I almost never respond in less than 15 minutes and I leave huge gaps regularly--don't text if I'm working out, at work, with friends, etc. About 3/4 of my texts are 3 words or less. Sometimes just an emoticon. Low effort but enough to keep her investing. Then I'll throw in some longer messages that are mostly self-amusing but kind of a reward for her investment. Again it's mostly her hamster messaging herself with me giving the wheel a little spin every now & then. I almost never answer questions directly; but every now and then I will.

At first they might be like WTF since they're used to guys always texting them back all the time; but they WILL adapt.

However, I recently did this last night on her last reply (was also up early for work so went to sleep) and I got a text from her at half one in the morning asking if she does anything wrong? And that I seem to just not text back after a while?

How should I approach this?

I'd just stick to the pace that works for you. If she brings it up say, "Nah. Just who I am." If she needs more than you're willing/comfortable providing then she'll find someone else and you can't be afraid of losing her; but chances are she'll adapt and value your time/attention/texts more.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Boring texters. I could write a book on them. And the more boring they are, the chattier they seem to be. Sharing stupid pictures that she thinks are funny, stupid emojis, just a whole lot of nothingness that has been turned into ones and zeroes and transmitted to your phone. How many times can you say "Ha ha" or "good one"? Almost everything about texting just makes my skin crawl anymore. I don't want to have a conversation via text - it's great for making plans or just brief check-ins but some of these girls want to have a full on, two way talk. No thanks. Of course, I do realize that I am old, but still....I hate clogging up the cell phone airwaves with such nonsense.

 

[The Duke]

Why are you carrying on text conversations with her? Have you banged her yet?

Texting before has never caused me one bit of harm. In fact, it has created a ton of comfort, and opened many doors for me! If its not working for you, then you probably aren't doing it right.

 

[marmel75]

Texting before has never caused me one bit of harm. In fact, it has created a ton of comfort, and opened many doors for me! If its not working for you, then you probably aren't doing it right.

Trust me, I'm quite good at texting. Typically the more you text the more you open yourself up for texting something she doesn't like which leads to her not meeting you.

So you are trying to claim you have never had a women flake? You may not realize it but some of those were likely due to what you texted prior to meeting.

 

[devilkingx2]

Trust me, I'm quite good at texting. Typically the more you text the more you open yourself up for texting something she doesn't like which leads to her not meeting you.

So you are trying to claim you have never had a women flake? You may not realize it but some of those were likely due to what you texted prior to meeting.

IMO, it's better to make her flake before the date(like accidentally telling a vegan you don't give a **** about animal rights, or telling a feminist pretty much anything we say here, etc.), then to say the exact same thing on the date and have her close off after you've already paid for your part of the date and spent hours on it.

 

[marmel75]

IMO, it's better to make her flake before the date(like accidentally telling a vegan you don't give a **** about animal rights, or telling a feminist pretty much anything we say here, etc.), then to say the exact same thing on the date and have her close off after you've already paid for your part of the date and spent hours on it.

What you'll find is people react far harsher to things via text than they would in person, especially with a person they have never met, because they have no other context and do not have anything else to go on. Plus things that you say in a joking manner are obvious in person but not obvious via text.

You are needlessly losing out on opportunities to meet and Fvck women if you believe that.

 

[The Duke]

Trust me, I'm quite good at texting. Typically the more you text the more you open yourself up for texting something she doesn't like which leads to her not meeting you.

So you are trying to claim you have never had a women flake? You may not realize it but some of those were likely due to what you texted prior to meeting.

So why are you worried about "something she might not like"???? better that come out now instead of later!
You win some, you lose some. Like I said it works for me most of the time. 2 recent ones come to mind.....one of them I had a 4 hour marathon text session, and she was begging me to come fuhk her by 11:00 that night. The other one we texted a bunch previous to the date, even had lots of sexting and pic swapping. For the first date she came to my house, we had some drinks and sechs right away. This all happened because I had built a lot of comfort. Its no different than building comfort in person. Like I said, you aren't doing it right! But believe whatever you want.

If a girl doesn't warm up quickly to texting right away then I don't text before. Its all about calibrating. There really are no black/white rules to this stuff.

And no, I haven't ever had a girl flake on me that I spent time texting. I've had plenty I didn't text much end up flaking on me.

 

[Arcturus]

I get this alot too, here's what has worked through trial and error. I'll ignore all the text messages over a large block of time, and then reply to all of them at once. Chit chat back and forth to build on the connection and chemistry for a short period of time in which many text messages fly back and forth and then go silent again for hours. If a girl brings up something needy like "I didn't hear from you all of last night, do you still care for me because you didn't do ____" or whatever, I will come up with the most reasonable excuse I possibly can. Something like, "oh hi there, I wasn't free to text last night, I was over at my mom's helping her move heavy furniture and I left my phone in the car. I've found that complex discussions over the issue just lead to drama and insecurity in the girl, but when faced with someone so reasonable, she's forced to analyze her own actions and neediness. This quickly trains them to understand that when you don't reply, you are simply busy and not because you have lost interest. Try it, it works like a charm every single time.

 

[El Payaso]

Tell her you don't like back and forth texting. You find that you have little to talk about when you see her in person. She'll respect you more for being upfront and standing your ground.

 

[marmel75]

So why are you worried about "something she might not like"???? better that come out now instead of later!
You win some, you lose some. Like I said it works for me most of the time. 2 recent ones come to mind.....one of them I had a 4 hour marathon text session, and she was begging me to come fuhk her by 11:00 that night. The other one we texted a bunch previous to the date, even had lots of sexting and pic swapping. For the first date she came to my house, we had some drinks and sechs right away. This all happened because I had built a lot of comfort. Its no different than building comfort in person. Like I said, you aren't doing it right! But believe whatever you want.

If a girl doesn't warm up quickly to texting right away then I don't text before. Its all about calibrating. There really are no black/white rules to this stuff.

And no, I haven't ever had a girl flake on me that I spent time texting. I've had plenty I didn't text much end up flaking on me.

No offense but I'm far too busy to spend 4 hours texting a chick...I barely have enough time to do things I have to get done on a daily basis, let alone spend 4 hours entertaining some chick, lol...

 

[The Duke]

No offense but I'm far too busy to spend 4 hours texting a chick...I barely have enough time to do things I have to get done on a daily basis, let alone spend 4 hours entertaining some chick, lol...

Is that all you got dude?

 

[marmel75]

Is that all you got dude?

For what? Ive done the same thing before, but I've also seen more situations where it works to your disadvantage rather than your advantage. And as far as flaking because you have texted less, I've had the exact opposite experience.